Book Jacket

 

rank 5907
word count 50626
date submitted 08.05.2012
date updated 14.07.2012
genres: Fiction, Romance, Fantasy, Young Ad...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Alice & The Mirrormen

Skylar Youth

The world beyond the reflection houses magic and mayhem. Alice Valentina, caught between the two, must decide where her loyalties lie.

 

Alice Valentina attends Halton Academy, an academy open for students up to twenty one.
Simple.
Respectable.
Boring.
_
That is until the Strausse family moved in across the street. Like characters stepping off of the pages of her favourite book, Dietrich and Everlynn both infuriate and fan the flames of her curiosity. Their reclusive attitude and their superstitions plague her to the edge of obsession. Why do they fear mirrors? What goes bump in the night behind their closed doors?
But the one question that burns brighter than them all:
Why do they act so much like her estranged father?
_
Lost in her search for answers, when her friends begin to act strangely, avoiding her calls and disappearing at nightfall, Alice begins to decipher how far this mystery stretches. In this world and others.
_
Sooner than she likes, Alice realises the truth goes as deep as the blood in her veins and the girl in the mirror staring back at her.
_
Darker things lie beyond the simplest of reflections.
So watch out for the Faed...

 
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tags

changeling, dark fantasy, fae, faed, family heritage, fey, horror, mirror, parallel worlds, paranormal, reflection, romance, supernatural, supernatura...

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Prologue

 

“This other world…” Images of the convoluted realm flickered through my mind; macrobiotic skyscrapers and the people with obsidian eyes were amongst the worst. “How can it be a reflection of Earth?”

Kyde smiled, his bottomless jet eyes crinkled around the corners. “Because, for all the sanity and rationality this world has...” He ran the tips of his spindly fingers down my neck, resting on my breastbone, above my thundering heart. “My world has magic and mayhem in spades.”

If it were not for the kinship we shared, his touch would’ve long since kept us apart. As it was, the shivers rolling down my spine were from the thought that I belonged to such a world.

    He withdrew; an apologetic smile twitched the corners of his tart lips.

Darker things lie beyond the simplest of reflections, little Alice. So watch out for the Faed

 

Chapters

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Josephine O Brien wrote 372 days ago

YARG review

Hi Skylar Youth,

Very clever and immediately engaging prologue.

Chapter 2: I think that should be just be 'loomed ahead' rather than 'over my head'

I wonder about breaking up the description paragraph a bit. She could be walking by the gardens and have the thought about the bus and then describe the flowers rather than going straight from description of the inside to the outside?

How about 'The Strausse family arrived on the day of Mr. tweetie's funeral.?

How close were you to him to suspect an Armani pocket watch?!

Cut short by doors or lined with doors? When I read 'cut short' I imagined the corridor terminated suddenly in double doors, but then I checked and she was talking about all the corridors, so I don't think so.

I'm not sure about 'All too soon, I found my way....' We had no sense that you were reluctant and why would you have to 'find your way' in a place that you know so well? Maybe just ' I opened the door to the auditorium / I followed the buzz of voices to the auditorium / The auditorium was full etc.

You use the word 'hemmed' twice on the description

I think that should that be 'residue OF perfume' or 'perfume residue' rather than residue perfume.

Polo neck AND tie? Very odd combination --polo neck or shirt and tie?

Obscene indigo? Maybe shocking or lurid but I can't visualize a colour as obscene!

Somebody fell down the stairs? And there was no shouting?

'Tall, broad shouldered' would sound better.

'Leading Zane and ME into mischief making.(Not A mischief making)

How would her neighbour's hair be familiar - she only saw her once?

SCANDALIZED whisper.

Naomi CHOKED.

How come Alice doesn't have any reaction when the guy she's been thinking about all summer turns up, employed by her mother!

Great believable dialogue between the kids there's a lovely sense of their ease and friendship. Based on the scary prologue and this chapter , I would DEFINITELY be turning the page.

I'll be back for more , unless my comments were too much . I do know I nit pick, but only on books worth it! Stars and W L untill I come back for more.
Cheers,
Josephine






Tod Schneider wrote 642 days ago

Hey, really well done! And doubly impressive for being so technically clean -- this is very nicely put together. The prologue did its job nicely -- setting up the fantasy concept before bringing us into the ordinary world of chapter one. I think this is in great shape. Best of luck with this!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

scargirl wrote 655 days ago

i agree that the narrative here is strong and that the backstory is spread out nicely. worth keeping and eye on....
j
what every woman should know

ELAdams wrote 665 days ago

This caught my attention as it sounds like the kind of thing I love to read. The prologue is great, short but attention-grabbing. You do a good job of engaging the reader's curiosity rather than introducing too much backstory at the beginning. The descriptions of the school paint a vivid picture of the setting, and I really like that your story is set at a boarding school (love the reference to Hogwarts, too!). The narrative is well-paced and the dialogue is believable. I also like that you have a protagonist who loves reading!

The mystery surrounding Everlynn and Dietrich intrigued me; I wanted to find out why Everlynn reacted as she did to the mirror - and how this connects to Alice's father. I've read all your uploaded chapters and I'm hooked - I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this!

Six stars from me :)

Emma, 'The Puppet Spell'

Su Dan wrote 675 days ago

this book is written well; clear and skillfull narrative style...
l will back...
read SEASONS...

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