Twelve For 12

I read the first three stories. Very powerful, and they certainly live up to your long pitch. The one I liked best was 'Little Boy Lost', as I wondered if the fear of the woman was a case of mistaken perception by the child. But, terrifyingly, it was not. A real shock ending. Well done.

If I have a criticism it is that occasionally you present a collection of adjectives within a single sentence, e.g. 'unwarranted, iniquitous abuse from his sour, duplicitous superior'. There is an attractive poetic rhythm to it, but it feels like overload from a description perspective.

There is a flash fiction competition on this site every Thursday/Friday on the Forum (search for Flash Fiction on the forum threads) that you might like to enter.

i also meant to commend you on your title and cover....
j
what every woman should know

i agree that these stories are stylish even if they are dark. for there is so much to see these days beyond that which meets the eye....you take the reader there for a glimpse here....
j

Thomas,
forgot to add - on my watch list and a bucket of stars.

Cyrus

Hi Thomas,
Welcome to the site.
Just picked up your work and I like what I see. An eclectic collection of well crafted dark stories that are a stylish and intelligent read.
tell me to shut up if you don't want comments.
Chapter 2 not convinced 'pitiful twin brother' is quite right, how about reconsidering 'pitiful'
Chapter 3; should be 'deaf and dumb boy's'
Chapter 3: Some of the sentences far too long and left me breathless.
However, this is a great collection and I believe it will do well on the site.

perhaps you may be tempted to have a look at my Hellion 2 - part 2 of a four part series but it may be read as a stand alone work. I would be most interested in your comments.

regards
Cyrus