Sky Warriors: Poleuthan’s Thief

I read your first chapter and really enjoyed it. The characters and well-drawn and one feels pulled into their world right away. The setting is vivid and one gets a strong sense of the world they live in. Some of your images are poetic and beautifully painted. I loved the metallic horses and the white-feathered angelic beings. I've given Sky Warriors high stars and will keep it on my WL for future shelving when I have space.

{Sky Warriors: Poleuthan’s Thief} – Nicole M. Pendragon

YAL Review

First of all, I like the way you’ve focused your pitch on Ange. When I was reading it, I immediately wanted to launch into the story, because you succeeded in engaging me with the protagonist. That is so important to do. There are so many stories out there, and especially with fantasy, plots can share similarities. I believe what makes a book successful is if the writer makes the reader engage with the characters and truly feel their emotions. So in my opinion the pitch is perfect at establishing a close reader/character connection :)

The premise is interesting, and I like the way that we are introduced to the guild of thieves and Ange and Daren. There is lots of mystery lurking beneath the surface, but again you focus the story on Ange, what she is up to, her feelings and responses to different scenarios and problems that arise. This makes it a very enjoyable read, and we identify with her.

You leave small clues to develop this mystery surrounding Ange, and there is good tension throughout to keep the reader engaged. At times I think you could get your point across in a more succinct manner, particularly with dialogue (in some of my detailed notes you’ll notice I point out repetition of certain mannerisms attached to dialogue, like blinking). With a bit of tightening up, concerning the language, I think this has potential to be a big hit. Keep going, you have the bones of a great story with likeable characters!!

Cara
------
Detailed notes:

**Chapter 1
Great chapter title and a beautiful atmospheric opening. You have some terrific descriptions to really set the mood!

This chapter had a good rise and fall of tension, with the chase at the beginning. You also establish the strong friendship between Ange and Daren.

Nice intrigue develops when Ange overhears the conversation, and I like the way you finish with her reflective musings, and memory of when she met Daren! There is a nice balance already between physical action and character emotion/relationships, which draws the reader in.

Actually, I think you have potential to flesh out the character emotion/feeling a little more, as opposed to expressly stating; for instance when Ange overhears the conversation and sees Daren; ‘She felt hurt her best friend hadn’t found it in himself to confide in her and tell her everything.’ You could create more tension here… with her looking across at Daren, struggling to find the words, his betrayal shattering her… things like this could really make a deeper connection between reader/character!

Edit notes:

Perhaps ‘Twins that twisted around each other in an everlasting dance, one brilliant white and the other a warm red in contrast.’ – less wordy? Also eliminates repetition of ‘suns’ and ‘sun’s’

‘northern/north’ used quite a bit in this opening, perhaps in some places it is not needed as the setting is already established?

I’d sentence split; ‘shadows of the mountain. As it shifted, white feathers…’

‘glinted and fractured the light’ I LOVE!

Perhaps ‘twirled around in a miniature’ (remove ‘it’, sort of implicit and avoids repetition?)

Perhaps ‘The guards were close. Too close.’ Greater tension?

Perhaps ‘stood a girl and boy’ instead of ‘was’, felt a little awkward

I’d say ‘pixie cut, removing it from her eyes.’ And keep it there – the sentence felt a little long and wordy, and it is again implicit that if hair was in her eyes, it would be a hindrance whenever!

‘slight less thin than her’ perhaps simply he was ‘thinner’

Change tense; ‘But they were both orphans and had been best friends…’

A few places comma instead of full stops;

“You mean executed,” he corrected dryly.

“Or that,” she agreed…

perhaps ‘He turned away and began to creep stealthily against the …

I like ‘gut coiled with anticipation’

I think ‘her best friend’s heavy breathing ::accompanying::’ change tense?

I’d reword; ‘The crystals were the self-sustaining energy source of their very civilization, defined as crystalized suns.’ → avoids repetition and more succinct? Btw I like this idea :)

I’d say; ‘He shook his head in disbelief, while a hug smile spread across his face and he laughed breathlessly.’ Smoother?

Again commas in dialogue; ‘They certainly have,” she agreed. And a few more places in this area. Note this is only when the following action is related to the dialogue (e.g. something to do with asking/agreeing/said/exclaimed) – not if the action is unrelated (He suddenly became serious and very quiet – capitalize ‘he’ here)

Comma; ‘Ange found herself staring speechlessly at her friend, her mouth hanging in disbelief, then another wave of outrage took her.’

Comma; ‘She scowled, annoyed, and pulled the rope down.’ Next sentence also you say ‘A rush of water flowed down’ (‘down’ repeated), so maybe think of rewording to avoid repetition?

Apostrophe; ‘Vera’s words’

Question mark; ‘Who would have guessed?’

I think ‘she paused in surprise’

I’d say ‘the only sour of light, casting a soft glow around their stony room’ to avoid repetition of ‘light/lighting’

**Chapter 2
I like the scene with the fruit stealing and also the mysterious guy who comes along to save her! Raises lots of questions :)

Edit notes:
I’d split and reword ‘Ange tightened her jacket. Taking a deep breath, she gazed around at the fresh snow on the rooftops.’ → simpler and avoids repetition of ‘and’?

I’d say ‘She and Daren walked in the sunshine toward the city outskirts…’ also removes repetition of ‘were’ in the sentence

‘considering how loosely’ ‘considering they didn’t trust’ → I’d reword to avoid repetition

‘shook her head’ ‘in exasperation’ do you mean?

Ange chuckles then Daren chuckles, perhaps vary vocab?

Either ‘snorted, amused’ or ‘snorted in amusement’

(again comma/fullstop switch in dialogue)

‘sly and creepy grin paralyzed on his face’ LOVE

‘blinked, startled, as he stuttered to reply’ → need commas to separate the verbs

again ‘blinked, surprised,’ or ‘blinked in surprise’

‘She blinked, feeling disoriented’ → also I notice there is lots of blinking going on. Perhaps trimming some would tighten up your writing and make the piece move along more?

Repetition here; ‘quake in her voice’ ‘note of fear in her voice’

Comma; ‘she asked, mortified by the very sound of the words’ → need to separate the actions as there is a focus shift between what she is physically doing (asking) and feeling (the mortification)

**Chapter 3
I like the attention to detail you put into describing the kids preparing for the heist, and there’s nice tension built up as we follow them down the streets and off on the mission.

Interesting mystery how Daren knows a shortcut… and then Jason appears. You’re leaving little clues here and there and building up some complex intrigue. I like!

Edit notes:

‘as he asked’ ‘as she placed’, two ‘as…’ in the same sentence, perhaps reword?

Ange gaze; should be ‘gazed’

‘She gasped in shock’ or ‘gasped, shocked,’ → more instances. I’d suggest using a mixture of different forms (sometimes the double verb, sometimes change to a noun)

Comma to show action sequence; ‘Buttoning the cloak around her neck, she jumped out of the bed in a backflip…

Comma; ‘Ange frowned, wondering what made him look so miserable.’

‘she promoted worried’, do you mean ‘prompted’, and also again comma; ‘she prompted, worried.’

‘felt her body wilt physically’ – I like this, and the association of the human body to a plant/flower wilting. Great image

right wrist ‘twinged’

comma; ‘glared, paying no heed’

‘Ange couldn’t help the urge to blink’ not sure what you’re really trying to convey here and perhaps cut down the blinking? If she is blushing that would convey more!

Fantasy is not my usual thing, Nicole, but I have to say, this is a quantum leap above most of the other stuff in this genre I've read on this site. Yes, it could do with a jolly good clean-up for typos/grammar etc, but the actual storyline is first-rate and your characters both vivid and well-drawn. I particularly like the relationship between Ange, who is just as sly and cranky (yet lovable) as my Ginger, and the innocent, well-intentioned, Sparky-like Daren. Oh, and you got a huge belly-laugh out of me when you introduced the formidable Vera, with her "perfectly large rounded chest and rear that made all the men swoon and women cry with dismay." I loved that!

Five golden stars from me - very promising! - and on my list for future shelving.

Joe Kovacs
Ginger the Buddha Cat

A few tiny suggests: 1) para 1, 'Twin ORBS...' 2) para 3, '...mountain. AS...' 3) you have a tendency to follow speech with a capital letter, e.g. 'Does Vera know?' She asked tensely. This should be 'Does Vera know?' she asked tensely. A little tidy up on your fab dialogue would make it even fabber!

Hi Nicole, Maretha has asked me to have a look at your book. I have put it on my watchlist and will read it over the next few days and comment. Looking forward to it. Regards, Lionell

Hey Nicole:
I figured I'd drop more comments along as I go instead of just letting them pile in my notebook. Here's my thoughts for the next four chapters:

Chapter 5: In the face of death... these scenes usually get me really into a character's impressions. It gives a sense of their inner strength and resolve. Ange felt like she showed just the right balance between toughness and weakness here to offer her much growth potential -- looking forward to that =)

Chapter 6: It feels like this is the true start, after the 4ch exposition and 1ch transition. Honestly, I loved this chapter more than the five previous combined, though it left me with some conflicting thoughts that I'm not sure will be helpful (depending on what audience you're targeting I guess):
* I feel like anything that will make the story advance to this point faster would be beneficial, especially to story-driven readers who have less patience; yet the artistic writing thus far is one of the book's main appeals.
* The dragonbound revelation appeals to romanticism on profound levels, yet I couldn't help but wish Ange struggled bit more before getting to this point: metaphorically, the interaction with Showl is almost akin to receiving a proposal from a nigh-perfect gentleman boyfriend before even having to work for the ideal relationship. Oh, there are definitely bumps left, just not immediately or obviously big enough. I can only hope that there's plenty more burdles /between/ the two in addition to those /in front of/ the two, ahead of their journey.

Chapter 7: Was there any hints of the Phoenix Queen dropped prior to Showl's explanations in 5-6? In some ways I feel like I got deposited here out of nowhere; maybe it might help to drop a hint of it into the dragon folklore spoken of in ch1. Also, it might help if there was an explanation/tale for why the dragon bond takes form through a sword -- it's a bit cliche, which, imo, is best avoided without an adequate reason to satisfy. Lastly, the exchange between the two was really fun and sweet (the best definitely comes between /two/ with attitude lol); I tend to always look for these moments in literature =)

Chapter 8: The story was very heartfelt, and I feel that its impact will linger for some time to come. Though since some of the recounting goes on for paragraphs or even pages at a time, I wonder if it might help make the read easier by separating the conversation between Fenera and her soulbound from the present day convo through some kind of formatting -- full italics or whatnot.

Until next time,
-- Aorii

Enterprising SF thriller with what I call a proper length opening chapter, not the staccato few lines that sometimes inhabit the opening pages of Authonomy submissions. Sky Warriors combines elements of fantasy with intrigue to produce a well crafted and focused set of characters and a flowing narrative. Some thought has been put into this in terms of imagination and direction, differentiating it from other offerings in the SF genre to be found on Authonomy. At 77,841 words it is very close the novel minimum word count of 80,000 words, and when the author adds the final chapters, Sky Warriors will become a very good read. Highly starred.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

This is obviously well thought out and planned. Not normally my type of book but found myself drawn in. You have a good descriptive voice which I find very refreshing. well done and it score high in my eyes.

Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R)

Going up to the 4th chapter, which felt like the end of the intro arc, and...

Wow.

You've really extracted the most from a 3rd-person focused storytelling centered on Ange. I'm not sure if this is considered YA, but I really enjoy young heroes rounded with not only their personalities and feelings, but also ambitions and dreams. Her experiences are detailed and her sight vivid, as though I was tossed into the fantasy and into her shoes, feeling and seeing exactly as she does. All of this gave a tremendous boost to the turning point in ch4 and how heartwrenching it felt. Great job.

I'm still not sure why this is listed as scifi though. Most of the gadgetry seen thus far easily explained by magic.

My biggest complaint would be the sheer length of the exposition arc: there were points where I was bored in between, feeling like a character/scene being depicted now wouldn't become of consequence for at least several chapters and thus I really don't care what they look like now --- that kind of deal. Alas, that's just a personal preference on pacing; feel free to ignore.

I also found it weird that Ange could get caught so easily in ch2, by some common street vendor, after being praised for an entire ch1. It felt really detracting to the image built up of her XD

Anyhow, please give me an idea of how much of the story you'd like to trade reviews for =) My method of reading for pure enjoyment and for literary critique are a little different.

Hi Nicole,
I’m here to check out your book (sorry my owed read is coming so late). By the way, if interested, I have a new book posted. No worries if you’re too busy or not interested. Just thought I’d share. Again, I owe you this read for your review of Deshay of the Woods, so no need to feel obligated. If you do check it out, though, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Below are my findings/comments for your consideration. Feel free to disregard what you disagree with.
Chapter 1
I love the lyrical nature of the first line, but it’s a bit cluttered. For instance, you use “land” twice. Might clean it up a bit. Also, “extension” should probably be “expanse,” as extension implies it’s an addition to some specific piece of land.
“stone mountain” Is there another kind of mountain? I’d drop “stone”
The second line is a bit forced, too. First, there shouldn’t be a comma after “landscape.” Second, “with its back to the rising suns” feels shoved in there. It’s also separated from what it modifies, which doesn’t work well.
“Twins” Twin what?
I love the language in this opening paragraph. Quite lyrical. However, it could use some smoothening out and at times feels forced and cluttered. Not a huge deal, but just something to consider.
“Though they stood tall, the land still suffered the cold that gripped most of the northern world.” I don’t understand this. What do the mountains being tall have to do with heating up the land? The way it’s written suggests this. If anything, mountains make things cold around them, because it pushes out cold mountain air. Unless, of course, you’re talking about an active volcano.
“wide open cavern” What does a closed cavern look like? I suppose a cavern can be enclosed, but then why mention it at all? I would delete “open,” as I think this can be assumed.
The action in this chapter is fantastic! Really drives the plot well. I could stand to see more imagery sprinkled in between the dialogue—remember that communication between characters is in more than simply the words they speak. Expressions, gestures and reactions make the dialogue pop. But this is very good. Great pacing and storytelling here.
This is a great start; very compelling and gripping. My biggest suggestion is to be careful about overwriting. While the prose here are lyrical and enriching, it feels like some sentences are too tightly crammed. Sometimes simple is better, more potent.
Best of luck! Highly starred.
Phil
(Leech)

Loving it. Waiting on the edge of my seat to see what the next chapter brings! :D

This is a very unique story, I found myself drawn into the plotline almost instantly.
The descriptions are very vivid and some are almost poetic, the world seems real. You have an image painted in your mind of Cyridell!
The suspense keeps you pulled into the story, so you want to know what happens to Ange and Daren.
Ange is easy to relate to, and thus is a very good protagonist.

High stars :)

- Bree

All I have to say is that I'm on the edge of my seat, just WAITING for the next chapter!

All I have to say is that I'm on the edge of my seat, just WAITING for the next chapter!

Wow, great writing. Love it! Cant wait to read more of it!!!!

watch your tenses. in some places your switch from present to past. you draw the reader in straight away with good hooks here.
j
what every woman should know

I read your first chapter and really enjoyed it. The characters and well-drawn and one feels pulled into their world right away. The setting is vivid and one gets a strong sense of the world they live in. Some of your images are poetic and beautifully painted. I loved the metallic horses and the white-feathered angelic beings. I've given Sky Warriors high stars and will keep it on my WL for future shelving when I have space.

{Sky Warriors: Poleuthan’s Thief} – Nicole M. Pendragon

YAL Review

First of all, I like the way you’ve focused your pitch on Ange. When I was reading it, I immediately wanted to launch into the story, because you succeeded in engaging me with the protagonist. That is so important to do. There are so many stories out there, and especially with fantasy, plots can share similarities. I believe what makes a book successful is if the writer makes the reader engage with the characters and truly feel their emotions. So in my opinion the pitch is perfect at establishing a close reader/character connection :)

The premise is interesting, and I like the way that we are introduced to the guild of thieves and Ange and Daren. There is lots of mystery lurking beneath the surface, but again you focus the story on Ange, what she is up to, her feelings and responses to different scenarios and problems that arise. This makes it a very enjoyable read, and we identify with her.

You leave small clues to develop this mystery surrounding Ange, and there is good tension throughout to keep the reader engaged. At times I think you could get your point across in a more succinct manner, particularly with dialogue (in some of my detailed notes you’ll notice I point out repetition of certain mannerisms attached to dialogue, like blinking). With a bit of tightening up, concerning the language, I think this has potential to be a big hit. Keep going, you have the bones of a great story with likeable characters!!

Cara
------
Detailed notes:

**Chapter 1
Great chapter title and a beautiful atmospheric opening. You have some terrific descriptions to really set the mood!

This chapter had a good rise and fall of tension, with the chase at the beginning. You also establish the strong friendship between Ange and Daren.

Nice intrigue develops when Ange overhears the conversation, and I like the way you finish with her reflective musings, and memory of when she met Daren! There is a nice balance already between physical action and character emotion/relationships, which draws the reader in.

Actually, I think you have potential to flesh out the character emotion/feeling a little more, as opposed to expressly stating; for instance when Ange overhears the conversation and sees Daren; ‘She felt hurt her best friend hadn’t found it in himself to confide in her and tell her everything.’ You could create more tension here… with her looking across at Daren, struggling to find the words, his betrayal shattering her… things like this could really make a deeper connection between reader/character!

Edit notes:

Perhaps ‘Twins that twisted around each other in an everlasting dance, one brilliant white and the other a warm red in contrast.’ – less wordy? Also eliminates repetition of ‘suns’ and ‘sun’s’

‘northern/north’ used quite a bit in this opening, perhaps in some places it is not needed as the setting is already established?

I’d sentence split; ‘shadows of the mountain. As it shifted, white feathers…’

‘glinted and fractured the light’ I LOVE!

Perhaps ‘twirled around in a miniature’ (remove ‘it’, sort of implicit and avoids repetition?)

Perhaps ‘The guards were close. Too close.’ Greater tension?

Perhaps ‘stood a girl and boy’ instead of ‘was’, felt a little awkward

I’d say ‘pixie cut, removing it from her eyes.’ And keep it there – the sentence felt a little long and wordy, and it is again implicit that if hair was in her eyes, it would be a hindrance whenever!

‘slight less thin than her’ perhaps simply he was ‘thinner’

Change tense; ‘But they were both orphans and had been best friends…’

A few places comma instead of full stops;

“You mean executed,” he corrected dryly.

“Or that,” she agreed…

perhaps ‘He turned away and began to creep stealthily against the …

I like ‘gut coiled with anticipation’

I think ‘her best friend’s heavy breathing ::accompanying::’ change tense?

I’d reword; ‘The crystals were the self-sustaining energy source of their very civilization, defined as crystalized suns.’ → avoids repetition and more succinct? Btw I like this idea :)

I’d say; ‘He shook his head in disbelief, while a hug smile spread across his face and he laughed breathlessly.’ Smoother?

Again commas in dialogue; ‘They certainly have,” she agreed. And a few more places in this area. Note this is only when the following action is related to the dialogue (e.g. something to do with asking/agreeing/said/exclaimed) – not if the action is unrelated (He suddenly became serious and very quiet – capitalize ‘he’ here)

Comma; ‘Ange found herself staring speechlessly at her friend, her mouth hanging in disbelief, then another wave of outrage took her.’

Comma; ‘She scowled, annoyed, and pulled the rope down.’ Next sentence also you say ‘A rush of water flowed down’ (‘down’ repeated), so maybe think of rewording to avoid repetition?

Apostrophe; ‘Vera’s words’

Question mark; ‘Who would have guessed?’

I think ‘she paused in surprise’

I’d say ‘the only sour of light, casting a soft glow around their stony room’ to avoid repetition of ‘light/lighting’

**Chapter 2
I like the scene with the fruit stealing and also the mysterious guy who comes along to save her! Raises lots of questions :)

Edit notes:
I’d split and reword ‘Ange tightened her jacket. Taking a deep breath, she gazed around at the fresh snow on the rooftops.’ → simpler and avoids repetition of ‘and’?

I’d say ‘She and Daren walked in the sunshine toward the city outskirts…’ also removes repetition of ‘were’ in the sentence

‘considering how loosely’ ‘considering they didn’t trust’ → I’d reword to avoid repetition

‘shook her head’ ‘in exasperation’ do you mean?

Ange chuckles then Daren chuckles, perhaps vary vocab?

Either ‘snorted, amused’ or ‘snorted in amusement’

(again comma/fullstop switch in dialogue)

‘sly and creepy grin paralyzed on his face’ LOVE

‘blinked, startled, as he stuttered to reply’ → need commas to separate the verbs

again ‘blinked, surprised,’ or ‘blinked in surprise’

‘She blinked, feeling disoriented’ → also I notice there is lots of blinking going on. Perhaps trimming some would tighten up your writing and make the piece move along more?

Repetition here; ‘quake in her voice’ ‘note of fear in her voice’

Comma; ‘she asked, mortified by the very sound of the words’ → need to separate the actions as there is a focus shift between what she is physically doing (asking) and feeling (the mortification)

**Chapter 3
I like the attention to detail you put into describing the kids preparing for the heist, and there’s nice tension built up as we follow them down the streets and off on the mission.

Interesting mystery how Daren knows a shortcut… and then Jason appears. You’re leaving little clues here and there and building up some complex intrigue. I like!

Edit notes:

‘as he asked’ ‘as she placed’, two ‘as…’ in the same sentence, perhaps reword?

Ange gaze; should be ‘gazed’

‘She gasped in shock’ or ‘gasped, shocked,’ → more instances. I’d suggest using a mixture of different forms (sometimes the double verb, sometimes change to a noun)

Comma to show action sequence; ‘Buttoning the cloak around her neck, she jumped out of the bed in a backflip…

Comma; ‘Ange frowned, wondering what made him look so miserable.’

‘she promoted worried’, do you mean ‘prompted’, and also again comma; ‘she prompted, worried.’

‘felt her body wilt physically’ – I like this, and the association of the human body to a plant/flower wilting. Great image

right wrist ‘twinged’

comma; ‘glared, paying no heed’

‘Ange couldn’t help the urge to blink’ not sure what you’re really trying to convey here and perhaps cut down the blinking? If she is blushing that would convey more!

I really like what you've done with your pitch, Nicole - reads like a dream now!

Joe x

(I just racked you up to six stars, will read more on my return from Spain)

Okay, the pitch - try this...

Ange is (NO BUT)a young thief in the cruel and corrupt city of Cyridel. Born and orphaned ON the eve of a rare Five Full Moon night, she has nothing to show of her origins.....Left (NO 'once') out on the streets at the age of seven without even a name, what OTHER choice DID she have but to steal to survive? BUT THEN SHE FOUND another orphaned child, her now best friend Daren, and together they came under the eye of....the Black Owls.

Ten years later, she is is excited and eager to become a full member of her shifty family. BUT THEN DAREN reveals a shocking secret that.....world from destruction? Or will her selfishness take PRECEDENCE over the needs of the many?

Hope that helps - good luck!

Joe x

Fantasy is not my usual thing, Nicole, but I have to say, this is a quantum leap above most of the other stuff in this genre I've read on this site. Yes, it could do with a jolly good clean-up for typos/grammar etc, but the actual storyline is first-rate and your characters both vivid and well-drawn. I particularly like the relationship between Ange, who is just as sly and cranky (yet lovable) as my Ginger, and the innocent, well-intentioned, Sparky-like Daren. Oh, and you got a huge belly-laugh out of me when you introduced the formidable Vera, with her "perfectly large rounded chest and rear that made all the men swoon and women cry with dismay." I loved that!

Five golden stars from me - very promising! - and on my list for future shelving.

Joe Kovacs
Ginger the Buddha Cat

A few tiny suggests: 1) para 1, 'Twin ORBS...' 2) para 3, '...mountain. AS...' 3) you have a tendency to follow speech with a capital letter, e.g. 'Does Vera know?' She asked tensely. This should be 'Does Vera know?' she asked tensely. A little tidy up on your fab dialogue would make it even fabber!

engaging story. a good edit will tighten this up by watching for words over-used and poorly structured sentences. it is imaginative with good detail, and shows promise...
j

Dear Nicole
I completed all the chapters you've submitted. Your opening paragraphs are strong and grips the reader immediately. A friehip is forged between Ange and Daren,but ten years later it seems as if he lied to her and betrayed her. I hope not - please let me know when you complete the book
Just a couple of grammatical observations.
Past tense of cast = cast not casted
He GAVE her a hug not caught her a hug
There are minor plural and verbs you must just check again - paragraphs on the tropical fruit for example fruit were or fruits were
All in all I've rated your book highly for imagination, complex plot and smooth writing.
keep up the good work
Maretha African. Adventures of Flame Family Furry and Feathered Friends

Wonderful story will comment properly internet very slow read everything FIVE stars
Also still on my wl
Kind regards
Maretha African Adventures of Flame Family Furry and Feathered Friends

A dragon book. 'nough said :)

Read through chapter one. Great storyline, great characters, great desrciptive passages. It needs a bit of editing, however...just little things. I'm sure you'll find them if you read through with a discerning eye. This one is a keeper. I will highly star and watchlist for now...
Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

Hi, this book is very well written, gives excellent detail, good characterization,and great job with the emotions and feelings. It is a very good book, I have not read all of it, but I can tell it's good. Nice work!
S.C.

P.S. check out either of my books "Whitechapel" or "One Man's Crime is Another Man's Mystery" .