Murder and Other Business Transactions: A Max Grave Novel

Great characters Tracey, I really would like to meet up with them on neutral ground somewhere. Writing style and story line carried me along on a wave of revulsion and wonderment at the extraordinary imagination and . awful dedication of the heros. Great fun

Great characters Tracey, I really would like to meet up with them on neutral ground somewhere. Writing style and story line carried me along on a wave of revulsion and wonderment at the extraordinary imagination and . awful dedication of the heros. Great fun

Great characters Tracey, I really would like to meet up with them on neutral ground somewhere. Writing style and story line carried me along on a wave of revulsion and wonderment at the extraordinary imagination and . awful dedication of the heros. Great fun

Great characters Tracey, I really would like to meet up with them on neutral ground somewhere. Writing style and story line carried me along on a wave of revulsion and wonderment at the extraordinary imagination and . awful dedication of the heros. Great fun

A very enjoyable tongue-in-cheek start to this novel, which introduces Max Grave, ultimate criminal fixer, straightening out the dirty deeds of others and operating profitably outside the law himself. There is plenty of wry, black humour and observation on human foibles that I found very enjoyable. And there was something strangely believeable in the character of Max! I could understand how an ex-Marine could easily get himself into this type of 'business'.

The story has great pace and charm and is written in a clear and unpretentious way. I liked the witty chapter headings, but wondered why asterisks were being used to disguise obvious and not particularly offensive swear words. As these were used in context -and not all gratuitously - it seemed surprising to see the words semi-disguised in this way.

A really brilliant page turner.

I'm really enjoying this. Elements of Stark's Parker novels but with added humour. I would really love to see the superhero book you're doing.

I really enjoyed this, the main character is so well drawn that I can actually see him. The humour is spot on and the story is original and intriguing. High stars and on my watchlist. Good luck Yours Bea

Thank you to everyone who has commented so far - there are some really useful points for me to consider.

Can I just mention that the 'novel' is intended to be a collection like Sherlock Holmes or All Creatures Great & Small rather than having the classical novel shape? I'm currently working on a 'proper' novel about retired superheroes, & hope to do a full-on Max novel once I've finished with the superheroes.

A sincere thank you to everyone who has taken the time to give me some pointers for improvement.

Well done, Tracey. Quirky, but refreshingly so

Good stuff. I like this book all the way to the back :o)))

Hi Tracey; have read you first two chapters and have really enjoyed them.
I did not expect a book on this topic to be as exciting and darkly funny book as it is. Max is a strong character and looks able to build the story around him. This was an unexpected pleasure and an easy flowing read. Right from the beginning with the phone going and sounding like gunfire you use quality imagery for the subject matter. There is the odd edit required but we all have that.
Well done and well starred.
RMA
The Snow Lily.

Murder and Other Business Transactions

A return review.

I’ve read your first chapter. I really like the humour in this. Max’s conversation with Byron about his preferred method of execution, and then his calm way of dealing with the desperate artist both make for enjoyable reading.

I’ve added some close crit below, which of course I’d hope you’ll ignore if it isn’t useful or the sort of thing you’re looking for.

I like the first paragraph - the part about “rewarded an exacting maintenance schedule” is especially nice. I might have expected you to fool the reader into thinking it was actual machine gun fire and then to reveal that it was just a ring tone.
I’m not sure how a phone set on silent would be able to play any sort of tone, even one with a silencer. But it’s a nice idea.

“And then there were…” This paragraph has the idea of literally tying up loose ends twice, which is once too many for me. It’s the same pun/joke in, “If they did need literally tying up” as “in case someone literally needed tying up.” I do like it, though.

“Bandanna” is spelt “bandana.”

“in my own mind” seems unnecessary (because one can‘t be “certain“ anywhere else), but then it is in speech so I guess it doesn’t have to be concise.

“He was rather amazed at his daring.” This is a POV switch, from Max’s mind to Byron’s. Even in the third person omniscient, many writers avoid this kind of head-hopping.

“because people named after poets…” I really liked this! Nice humour.

You don’t give any details about the reaction of the painter while the conversation is going on. That does help the humour - the two having the chat are completely ignoring him, and in a way, so are you. It’s an interesting technique - leaving us to picture him imagining what might be to come.

“because the paint isn’t dry.” Made me smile.

“Demanded the artist” should have a lower case “d”.

The last line of the chapter is spoilt a little bit by the earlier humorous mention of the paint needing to dry.

You have a smooth manuscript and a nice tone. It isn’t the sort of thing I’ve read a lot of on here, but I think your first chapter is both funny and action-led.

Highly starred.

Lucy

Very quirky and unexpected. I like your writing style :-) Love the humour!

Full of humour, but with underlying sense of dark foreboding, an unusual presentation, but could see this becoming the start of a series, with readers wanting more of Max....very original.

Sheepwalk

unusual topic a good assassin. quite fun reading it

Mike H

i like the veiled humour, fast pace and imagination in this book.
very entertaining

valie

Murder and Other Business. I am attracted by the veiled humour of your pitches.

Ch.1. That's an unusual start, which already says volumes about Max's character.
Do you want nits? You drift briefly away from Max's viewpoint when Byron 'was rather amazed at his daring.' A little disconcerting for th discrening reader.
Love that veiled humour about the river becoming dammed. And it gets better and better concerning the point of the cleaver.
Why the 'already' in "Just chop off his head." I wonder?
That's a neat, informative passage on the refinements of forging signatures, and a great twist in the beginning of the plot.
What are those caps in red for?

Ch.2. carries on in the same amusing vein.
Ch.3. A search on all the 'was's might reveal a few unnecessary repetitions.
This chapter contains some hidden gems on how to produce a radio play, while corrying on with the humour - the detail of the duct tape is delightful. And I'm not even getting bored with the internal banter.

Ch.4. Another chapter in which there's plenty of talk but nobody actually gets hurt. You build the tension beautifully, and still I'm hankering for more.

Ch.5. And the bloodthirsty wont be disappointed here - with a typical twist at the end.

A clever piece of writing, skilfully done and well-written.

Jane.

Very pacey. Instantly coming to life. In my opinion should soon be topping the best sellers before being screened on our TV's. Keep up the good work Tracey.

MURDER AND OTHER BUSINESS
This is a story with a surprising beginning: one minute a private investigator is about to kill a man, the next, he’s making a deal with him. All that and the floor doesn’t even get dirty. Your writing style is good for this; quick and fast moving. You do dialogue equally well. Makes this an easy read. I’m starring it and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

A clear writing style doesn't get in the way of the dark humour of these quirky little episodes in the career of Max (a vain, ruthless but sometimes soft-hearted killer for hire) and his wife Chris (even more vain and ruthless and not even a little bit soft-hearted). An entertaining read.

I like this one! Lots of action, and Max is one cool dude! Hope there's more to come.

Cheers

Martin

Hi Tracey, I read chapter 2. This is a very well written descriptive piece of work, it was easy to follow and the characters were easy to warm to. I enjoyed reading this.
Nit Picking - Should "Where theres a will there's a way" be in speech brackets? My only concern is anyone going to be interested in a bank manager who wants to kill himself? Joking aside I wish you luck with your book.
Kindest Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks - Tide and Time: At The Rock
I would appreciate a return read, if you are able to find time.

Tracey Dawson Murder and Other Business Transaction - A Max Grave Novel
I read all the chapters you've uploaded. Your writing is easy to follow; among the characters very natural. Quite a believable story, but I would recommend "tightening" things up a bit. It would be nice to see Max get stuck into some serious business, although I wasn't sure whether he defused the bomb at the school or planted it.
Thorougly enjoyable story. High stars and hoping you;ll post the rest.
All the best on Authonomy in the days to come! :-)
Maretha/African Adventures of Flame, Family, Furry and Feathered Friends

Tracey,
I hopped on, expecting to see another muderer-for-hire character with his talented female sidekick, and was vindicated to find my expectations met. Which was a good thing, popular entertainment having reserved a special niche for the likes of Bonnie and Clyde, the Feather and Father Gang, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I was partaking of a dish from a proven recipe and enjoying every morsel of it. This is enduring fare sequels are made of. Your prose is straightforward and easy to follow, the dialogue true to character. Thank you so much for the treat.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Just left a lengthy comment only for it to disappear into the ether, so here's the second attempt. I am here for our reading swap and I have read all your have uploaded. I really enjoyed it - a kind of Reservoir Dogs humour, very tongue-in-cheek. I really liked your characters and I loved the tone of your writing. Can't think of much to criticise as it is so well-written, but I do have one comment to make, which you can disregard if you don't agree with as it is only my very inexpert opinion. Although I really enjoyed the situations and events you described, I find myself wondering where the story is going in terms of plot. I think that, by now there should be a strong direction or major thread evolving and I am not sure I have spotted it in these five chapters. Nevertheless, I really liked this and would have happily read on. A couple of nitpicks:
Ch 1
You use 'literally tying up' twice in a short space.
Ch 2
'For example, if her Ferrari's encounter . . .' I had to read this sentence a few times and still not sure I understand it.
Anyway, that's all for now. Highly starred and I will put on my bookshelf eventually, when a space appears.
Must dash before this disappears.
All the best
Julia
Shadow Jumper