Rita

K.V. this is a stunning portrayal of the struggles faced by many rural workers in Zimbabwe after the white owned farms were ceased. Your writing style is brilliant and the way you weave the story leaves me with the feeling that the world has just discovered the next biggest thing in serious literature. I sincerely hope there is an editor/agent/publisher out there with the brains to recognise your talent and put this story into print. Congratulations on a fine materpiece and if these 8 chapters are anything to go by, I will be the first in line to purchase this book when it's out in bookstores.
Yourbiggestfan...Stan

RITA
This is a story with a dramatic beginning: a real glimpse at how violence can be unexpectantly close to all of us. Rita is a strong main character; sensitive yet courageous when she needs to be. The whole story is like an insiders look into the struggles of Africa. Did you notice “Breath of Africa” reached the Ed desk last month and received an excellent review by HC? I think this has the same potential. Get busy asking people to read it. It deserves to move up the charts and get noticed. I’m starring it and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

A wonderfully crafted plot; the quality of narration is extraordinary - at times morally strenuous and still incredibly empowering - so that the reader remains enthused till its very end. It evokes a feeling of gratitude and appreciation of one's own life and genuinely achieves a dramatic resonance. Utterly exceptional in every way.

This is a very well-written book and marvelous story of the determination and resilience of Zimbabwe women, personified by Rita, during the political upheavel of the country. The story is harsh, but realistic, as it tells of the brutality inflicted on Rita by the thugs who killed her husband, David, and burned the farm where he worked.

Rita beautifully illustrates the exceptionally strong character of a woman who literally pulls herself up by her bootstraps as she seeks to survive impossible circumstances. Thank goodness for the kindness of a few such as Patrick and Christopher and the old woman in the church among the cruelty and selfishness of others such as Petronella and Amai.

The reader is held captive both by the resiliency of Rita and her dire circumstances and is relieved that Rita begins to find herself again as she pursues employment at the hospital in the provincial capital of Chinhoyi.

A beautiful, marvelous book with strong characters, natural, clear dialogue, and a fascinating story plot. This work, once finished, should be published and become a well-read novel for its touching story, its inspiration, and the history it provides. Your writing is so flawless that I'm unable to offer you any corrections. Good work! Many stars and best wishes for it's success! Blessings, Pat

The press stories of white families in Zimbabwe being forced off their farms rarely touch on the shattering effect these actions have on the native labourers and domestic staff. So this story, although fiction, fills a void. The dramatic opening reads like a true account. Rita is an entirely believable character - busy wife and mother one minute, abused widow uncertain of her children's fate, the next. We are shocked by the brutality inflicted on Shona by Shona and share Rita's bewilderment over her future. How will she survive? This is Africa in the raw, yet with delightful light touches - the cosmos flowers at the roadside, the warm sun, the generosity of poor people who rally round to aid someone worse off than themselves. High stars and I'll be back to read more.

Camac Johnson
Zambezi Seduction

Rita, This is very strong stuff. thats what I like about it. You are very good at writing and I can see good things ahead. There is a great flow to this book and a nice pace. You have used the characters to the full and they match the hooks in the book equally as well. I enjoy this and score this high.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Many thanks. Sean

A good story and well narrated. I was hooked right from the beginning and read right through to the end. Anybody who starts reading this will want to know how Rita is managing to survive. I always wonder how it is possible that these dictators in Africa (and elswhere in this world) can continue to suppress, brutalise,torture and kill there fellow citizens. I'm curious to see how Rita is going to cope with it. Well reated and backed, Karel from AFRICAN DIARY

This story really sucked me in and just as I was becoming totally entangled in this woman's plight I could go no further than chapter 8. Please add more chapters soon. The story line is fast paced with a reflective undertone that allows the reader to both feel the pace and panic at which Rita is moving to escape yet also how she has to live with the brutal experiences at all moments of her everyday life. K.V. has a great storytelling ability and a knack for characterizing the people Rita meets along the way with both how Rita perceives them and how the reader sees them. Look forward to seeing more work from K.V in the future.

Wow! Very powerful stuff! Highly rated and will back when space opens on my shelf. :)

Dyane
The Purple Morrow

a good mixture of narrative and dialogue helps your book a great deal.
backed...
read SEASONS...

This is a gripping portrayal of recent post-independence Zimbabwe. So far this looks like a must-read novel giving an insight into how the excesses of a greedy, corrupt and ruthless regime can affect those who have most to lose. Can't wait to get my hands on the rest of the story... Rita sounds like the Aung San Suu Kyi of Zimbabwe. Well done on a riveting read.

I know Zimbabwe, so I was very intrigued by your presentation of the farm confiscations through the eyes of a young Shona (presumably) woman. The contrast between the patriotic words of the national anthem and Rita's actual predicament when her familiar, comfortable world falls apart is a telling way of constructing the opening chapter. I've only read the first chapter so far but will continue with interest. On my bookshelf with four stars to start!
(You might like to look at my historical novel Absalom, a large part of which is set in southern Africa.)
Victoria Miles
'ABSALOM'

The first sentence, punctuated with the repetition of "tears," resounded dark musical chords of tension and dange, immediately raising questions, creating conflict, and evoking my sympathy. You did that with one paragraph. That is a great start. You maintained the intensity throughout the chapter. Descriptions painted an ominous tableau of hatred and madness and despair, i.e., "did not see a scrap of humanity" and "prayed that it would end." The rape scene was discreet and yet you gave me enough to cringe for her. The second chapter gave me more of a glimpse into her state of mind and where her hope is in the face of the "stark realization of her current situation." You gave me a strong sense of setting in a place I've never been to, connected me with your Rita, and now I want to stay alongside her on her journey, wherever it may lead her. A strong line for me was that "...the Almighty does not make us face anything in life that He knows we are not able to handle." Excellent writing, fluid, smooth transitions, good pace, powerful story. I'm sorry I only had time for a couple of chapters (authonomy was down for the day for me, but I'm glad to have had a taste). I will return for the rest very soon. High stars from me, well-deserved.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

Where are the rest of the chapters? This was so rivetting and I really enjoyed how you started with the action and then we become more attached to Rita as her character is developed in the later chapters. This is so well written, I feel like I need more, what happens to Rita has been buzzing around in my head since I was finishing chapter 8. Please make sure this is published and I have given you 6 stars. So very well done.

really enjoyed reading so far - a very well written thoughtful and sensitive human insight into some of the personal devastating impacts of a complex historical and political context. Look forward to reading more and before long seeing the whole thing in print-what an exciting prospect! Keep writing!

Brilliant work... well done!!!

Brilliant work... well done!!!

RITA
This is a story with a dramatic beginning: a real glimpse at how violence can be unexpectantly close to all of us. Rita is a strong main character; sensitive yet courageous when she needs to be. The whole story is like an insiders look into the struggles of Africa. Did you notice “Breath of Africa” reached the Ed desk last month and received an excellent review by HC? I think this has the same potential. Get busy asking people to read it. It deserves to move up the charts and get noticed. I’m starring it and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

added to WL and rated will back asap. brilliantly written.
Sue 'It's a Dog's Life'

K.V. this is a stunning portrayal of the struggles faced by many rural workers in Zimbabwe after the white owned farms were ceased. Your writing style is brilliant and the way you weave the story leaves me with the feeling that the world has just discovered the next biggest thing in serious literature. I sincerely hope there is an editor/agent/publisher out there with the brains to recognise your talent and put this story into print. Congratulations on a fine materpiece and if these 8 chapters are anything to go by, I will be the first in line to purchase this book when it's out in bookstores.
Yourbiggestfan...Stan

Having a read of some books I've not come across before I go away this morning. I've been very impressed with this book on a few levels. Firstly, there is a real atmosphere to the read. There is a real sense of being where the story is set and a feel of tension and something building up. Very visual to read. I think the subject is current and I think you have a great character in Rita. I'm away for a week, but I will be back to read more of this book, which is the best sign: Read a little, want more. Comment properly when I return.
Cariad.

A wonderfully crafted plot; the quality of narration is extraordinary - at times morally strenuous and still incredibly empowering - so that the reader remains enthused till its very end. It evokes a feeling of gratitude and appreciation of one's own life and genuinely achieves a dramatic resonance. Utterly exceptional in every way.

Rita:
For my triple-documented swapper! I think this is a great story, and obviously one written with passion. I'm always drawn to books with a sociopolitical angle, particularly if they are well-researched. I know nothing about Zimbabwe (other than that it has not been doing too well in terms of civil peace in the past decade), so I look forward to reading on!

Anyway, here are some suggestions for you. They're my humble opinion, so take them as you will :)

First time I've commented on a short pitch. I feel this one might work better as: 
We're all buffetted by the storm of life. In Rita's case, the storm is turn of the century Zimbabwe and her life, well... 
1) you don't need to call it her storm, as it's implied by saying "in Rita's case"
2) I'm pretty sure the ellipsis should come after well (leaving it open, rather than concluding with well, which feels abrupt)

Ok, the story!
Chapter 1:
Bit of a run-on sentence: "Rita loved her family, even when they tested her and..." I think you should end with: "... tested her. She enjoyed her job..."
"To her the stories her father told ..." I don't think you need "to her" (it's implied) and I think "brought a swelling pride to her heart" could be simplified as "swelled her heart with pride"
Bahsa/Madhamu - sometimes you refer to them as The Madahmu or The Bhasa, and sometimes just Bahsa or Madhamu. I think, to clear any confusion, you should choose one or the other. Also, I have no idea who they are - are they the landowners? I'm thinking Madhamu is similar to Madame, and therefore Bhasa's husband - but this may need to be clarified for some readers.
Nit pick: what was happening outside, she had been hanging washing - rather than a comma, I think this should be a semi-colon, as they're two separate thoughts.
" in fact nearly all of them are impostors! They all seem to be about her age..." - you switch to present tense here. I think you should switch back to past tense.
"her motherly instinct and deep maternal affection-" I don't think you need "maternal" (as you've already said motherly instinct)
"She turned and followed her husband suddenly looking very vulnerable in her bed clothes." I think this might work smoother as: "She turned and followed her husband, feeling suddenly very vulnerable in her bedclothes."

The rest of this chapter is horrifying and brutal. My only suggestion is that sometimes I feel like I am there, watching on in horror, and sometimes I feel like you are telling me what happened. I want to be in the scene, not a passive listener.
Here are examples of "telling me:"
 Rita watched as the thugs rounded up the other domestic staff and began to take on the mob mentality - don't tell me they're taking on a mob mentality. Show me. 
 The man entered her without lubrication - I can't think a rapist would pause to use lubrication, rendering this unnecessary, and perhaps not emotive enough for being raped. You might just want to write: "The man crouched over her like a gorilla, and shoved himself roughly inside of her, tearing through her."  (or something better :) )
Rita was then systematically raped, seemingly without pause - I think systematic rape is a sort of journalism term for this. Rita wouldn't feel like it was systematic, if that makes sense.
This is "showing me":
Her sobs were so wrenching that her legs crumpled below her, the hot bitumen stung the bruises on her calves and the sobbing turned into wailing - this is an incredible, wrenching sentence. I can't imagine how she feels, and my heart breaks for Rita. 

Ok, I only have time for chapter 1 tonight, but I hope this was helpful! I'm totally happy to read on - I feel as though I'm learning about a country I've not paid enough attention to. Please let me know if this was ok! :)
Ellie
Paragon

This book really struck a nerve with me as I have friends in Zimbabwe whose farm was taken from them - they grew roses. Their father lost his life trying to protect his family. For that reason I didn't find it easy to read but that's just personal. It is very well written, providing a harsh picture of life for some white families in Zimbabwe, forced from their homes, often having to leave the country virtually penniless for a country they barely know. It is brutal at times but uplifting at others. Rita is a strong character put in an impossible situation and you tell her story with great craftsmanship. I'll really look forward to coming back and reading more.

Very best of luck with this and lots of stars for you

Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

The press stories of white families in Zimbabwe being forced off their farms rarely touch on the shattering effect these actions have on the native labourers and domestic staff. So this story, although fiction, fills a void. The dramatic opening reads like a true account. Rita is an entirely believable character - busy wife and mother one minute, abused widow uncertain of her children's fate, the next. We are shocked by the brutality inflicted on Shona by Shona and share Rita's bewilderment over her future. How will she survive? This is Africa in the raw, yet with delightful light touches - the cosmos flowers at the roadside, the warm sun, the generosity of poor people who rally round to aid someone worse off than themselves. High stars and I'll be back to read more.

Camac Johnson
Zambezi Seduction

This is a very well-written book and marvelous story of the determination and resilience of Zimbabwe women, personified by Rita, during the political upheavel of the country. The story is harsh, but realistic, as it tells of the brutality inflicted on Rita by the thugs who killed her husband, David, and burned the farm where he worked.

Rita beautifully illustrates the exceptionally strong character of a woman who literally pulls herself up by her bootstraps as she seeks to survive impossible circumstances. Thank goodness for the kindness of a few such as Patrick and Christopher and the old woman in the church among the cruelty and selfishness of others such as Petronella and Amai.

The reader is held captive both by the resiliency of Rita and her dire circumstances and is relieved that Rita begins to find herself again as she pursues employment at the hospital in the provincial capital of Chinhoyi.

A beautiful, marvelous book with strong characters, natural, clear dialogue, and a fascinating story plot. This work, once finished, should be published and become a well-read novel for its touching story, its inspiration, and the history it provides. Your writing is so flawless that I'm unable to offer you any corrections. Good work! Many stars and best wishes for it's success! Blessings, Pat

In a word "Gripping" Can't wait to read more from this author.

Fantastic work!!! The characters are developed particularly good, I feel very connected with Rita right from the beginning, it's almost as if I've known her all my life. Looking forward to the rest of the chapters, and can't wait for another book to come out. You have an amazing writing style, the story flows with ease and doesn't skip a beat. Well done!!!

Excellent worrk Kristen! Obviously written with a true emic account. I was fixed after the first two paragraphs, very complelling. As good as anything I have read! Matt

Wow, this is an intense tale! Excellent writing and a powerful story. Rita is well portrayed and surely a sympathetic character. This is admirable work you're doing -- well done!
Tod
If you have any interest in childrens' literature, you are invited to take a look at the Lost Wink.
Thanks!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink