Book Jacket

 

rank 5904
word count 38052
date submitted 12.06.2012
date updated 23.06.2012
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, ...
classification: adult
complete

The Son of Petard

Albert van der Heijden

Martini finds himself in a pub in a philosophical discussion about boobs when he meets India, a self employed prostitute. She introduces him to Oomph.

 

Martini, the son of the famous Petard, meets India during a discussion. After offending her, he offers her money to sleep with him. She agrees. They decide to make a trip to Omygod, the city of love. It is the monastery of Oomph and the residence of India’s sisters, Thai and Bengal. Thai, who suffers from a genetic defect and is pretty messy, falls in love with Martini. He is in the process of making love with the nuns of the monastery, unwittingly infecting them with a fatal disease. When this disease manifests itself, it appears that the better part of Omygod is infected. In just a matter of days, all hell breaks loose. Everybody who has been infected does not only have to fear the disease, but also genocidal mobs, ravaging the city and killling everybody they suspect has become infected. When Martini becomes trapped in Thai’s apartment by the mob, India comes up with the proposition of calling his father for help.

 
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tags

, bizarre, genocide

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6 comments

 

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Maria44 wrote 654 days ago

This has to be the weirdest thing I have read in ages. I thought the opening conversation was cleverly constructed. India and Martini's relationship made me think of what might have happened to the film 'Pretty woman' if they wanted to make it into erotic horror.

I am sure in one paragraph the waiter changes sex so you may want to consider a quick edit. (the paragraph which started 'the conversation was broken off with the deepest apologies and the waiter made her way...)

Maria

Albert van der Heijden wrote 668 days ago

Your story is raw but packed with humour. I like it

It is the reason why I failed my exams for brainsurgery; I couldn't tell the difference between a scalpel and an ax.

patio wrote 668 days ago

Your story is raw but packed with humour. I like it

Albert van der Heijden wrote 669 days ago

"I did feel that the first chapter was perhaps too long, especially as so much is happening. Maybe you could separate it into two chapters.

Starring and wishing you lots of luck with your book.
Debbie"

Hmmmm... now you say so, I'll keep that in mind, especially since it is a bit 'shortish' book, and I might work on a bit extra on it, even though I do not know where exactly. – my biggest problem is with the last two chapters however, since it makes me almost cry. And I cannot write with tears in my eyes.

Debbie R wrote 669 days ago

I have read the first two chapters. This is certainly very different from anything else I have come across on the site. Martini and India are two of the most bizzare characters! They have sex, they talk, they have sex, India murders a farmer and his family, they have sex ... THe story is well paced and the characters intriguing. The humour is well-balanced and the reader gets pulled right along with the crazy couple
I did feel that the first chapter was perhaps too long, especially as so much is happening. Maybe you could separate it into two chapters.

Starring and wishing you lots of luck with your book.
Debbie

Tod Schneider wrote 672 days ago

What a hoot! This is well written, funny and bawdy. Your characters are richly drawn, their voices strong and the story overall great fun to roll along with. Best of luck with this!
And If you have any interest in childrens' literature, you are invited to take a look at the Lost Wink.
Thanks!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink

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