Favored One

Jennifer. Brilliant writing. I dont normally read this genre, but am glad I did. I can see this going a long way. You have a really good narrative here that I feel will attract a lot of readers. With that and a nice flow to the book, you have a winning recipe. So well done and scored high.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Favored One
Jennifer Anne Grosser

I read the first five chapters and enjoyed it. You've managed to write the story very well. Knowing the story line didn't spoil the enjoyment. You managed to bring an old loved story to life. It took a few seconds to get used to some of the names you used, then I liked them.

Highly starred.

The editing was good. I only recall one typo in, "There was no question of its being anything else." I think "its" should be "it".

Charles Knightley
The Secret of Netley Abbey

That is a stirring opening paragraph in ‘Favored One’. I’m not usually a fan of historical fiction. Yet you write with an easy style that brings it up-to-date, as if it is happening now, in some distant land. I hope that was your intention and I don’t disappoint!

Straight away I feel the majesty of the family ancestry without any religious reverence. That is a big subject and I’m intrigued to know how you continue to weave the characters in and make it real.

It’s a wonderful idea and so far it works well. I’ll read some more soon when I have shortened the list on my watchlist.

Grace

Dear Jennifer
I only leave comments when I have something positive to say about someone’s writing. I was very pleased to find your book on Authonomy and even more pleased to add it to my shelf, sprinkled with many stars!
This was a very refreshing, inspirational read for me. You are undoubtedly a gifted author.
I was very impressed by your ability to describe Miryam’s inner thoughts, as well as your descriptions of the landscapes and cities of the time. You have the ability to get inside the head of your main characters and describe their feelings and surroundings which is a great strength when it comes to writing.
Your language is poetic and rich, and the story absolutely believable. I appreciate your research, your sense of respect for spirituality, and I applaud the quality of your writing.
This is a good book. And I wish you the very best.
Jennifer Braun

Hi Jennifer
Sorry it has taken me so long to get to you but it was Tilly's birthday yesterday and its been a very busy week. I really like your story with a modern version of the virgin Mary, told through the eyes of Mary herself. It took me a little time to get used to the names but when I converted them to the story of Mary it made a lot more sense to me. You are a very beautiful and creative writer. There was nothing in it that I could find to critique, as you have done a very good job on your editing(I wish I could do that). Six stars from me for this excellent piece of work. Very well done indeed.
Brian.

Dear Jennifer,
I'm reading Favored One and will probably take a while doing so. I love your version of this beloved story and i want to make sure i read every word. You are an excellent writer, Jennifer. I don't pretend to be an expert, but i find your writing gleaming with light, flowing as the smoothest river and your descriptions so real, they fill my head with loveliness. I had to comment at this stage because i couldn't logout for the day without praising your work.
All six stars and a place on my shelf as soon as i can.
Maria
The Path to Survival

Jenn,

It's obvious you have put much work into this novel. I enjoyed the read and the charecters are appropriately
developed for the time period.

Good luck

You have an interesting and wonderful story. Keep up the great work! I couldn't find anything to critique.

High stars!
Sara Stinson
Finger Bones

Hi Jennifer,

Just started to read your book and what i've read so far is wonderful. Beautiful depiction/description of Miryam. Narrative i find easy to read and it flows smoothly which is what a reader requires from the writer. Well done. Can't find anything to dislike. Enjoying this immensely. I've given you the full five stars and also backed it.
Dave
Imagination Of The StarCats

Favored One

Very delicious in read, I found myself drinking coffee and eating (too many things) while reading this beautifully illustrated novel. As promised, I came to review and I must say that I am most impressed. You have a lot of valid points on historical & fantasy value of this tale. I almost found it hard to be fiction. I found myself falling that much deeper into Adonai and Miryam. This is more than colorfully designed, but overwhelmingly promising.

High Stars & Grand Support!

With Love & Best Of Wishes
A.D. Reid

Greetings!

I’m sorry it took me so long to get around to reading this – with my editorial clients, I haven’t had a lot of time to do much of anything, and the time I have had I’ve been dedicating to my writing and own publication efforts.

I’ve started reading through this, and I admit, I had a hard time getting into it. There is so much explanations of who is who and about her beliefs that it just didn’t hold my attention very well – this is nothing about the quality of your writing. *If* I were interested in this style of story or the content, I’d probably enjoy the writing style, but it isn’t the type of story I normally enjoy reading. You write very well, and I’m sure your target audience will enjoy it.

That said, the beginning was pretty passive and full of exposition, which didn’t help keep and hold my attention. There was no reason for me to really like your character from the beginning since you spent the time introducing us to her family, her potential family, and the betrothal rather than introducing us to *her* through her actions, her interactions with others, and so on.

I’m not really sure how to go about critiquing this – I don’t know anything about the religion you’re portraying here, and I tend to steer clear of any religious debates unless I’m really comfortable with the person or know them well.

I do wish you the best with this book. There is a pretty large audience for this sort of thing, so I think you have a good chance of being successful with it in that regard.

~RJ

Hi Jennifer,
This is an exceptional, well-researched book that I enjoyed reading very much with my morning coffee. I had it in my Watch-List since the first day we've corresponded, and I'm so glad I had the chance to read it today.

The endless love for God (Adonai) and the spiritual loyalty toward its reflections (us) is portrayed beautifully, and I'm sure Favored One will be a popular read among the genre's enthusiasts. The celestial approach and the legends are portrayed very visually...

6 stars and thanks for sharing,
Lucette Cohen Fins- Ten Deep Footprints

A lovely story beautifully told. I found myself right inside the mind of Miryam. Top stars!!

Jennifer,
What a wonderful narrative you've put together like handmade tapestry full of originality and intertwined images, your protagonist Miryam married to a carpenter but favored by Adonai to give birth in her virgin state to a King greater than his ancestor David. As the story of the Messiah starts to unfold, one can only wonder at the Hebraic features you adhere to so brilliantly in your treatment of the people, their behavior and the setting that provide the foundation for the greatest story ever told. Thank you so much for the inspiring read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

I like the very biblical way in which this story is told, after only reading the first chapter - i wonder if this is the way it'll continue or if you'll surprise us with even more twists... i can only imagine based on the pitch :)

looking forward to finding out
cheers for now
Jaclyn x
It Never Happened

Dear Jenn,

This is beautiful in every way! Your writing is so powerful, especially your tone and style. You have such a natural conversational way with words...I was sucked in from the very first line. I love the first person point of view, as it puts the reader right there in the heart and mind of Miryam. Your rich cultural details are exquisite, and the biblical truths are powerful. You explore important themes whcih give a depth and wisdom to your writing, yet you keep it personal in every way (ie: "With God all things are possible." etc.).

I wish I could read more right now, but time is getting away from me during this busy season of the year. I am giving you all six stars today and will hold 'Favored One' on my WL for future reading. A beautiful, powerful piece.

All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now To Him

Very well conceived history based fiction which draws heavily on Christian teachings. The author is using the medium of story to deliver a message, a warning. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, writers have been doing that for thousands of years. Whether we realize it or not, most literature is message based. Like history, one of the functions that a fiction author performs is to act as a soothsayer, interpreting the past and the present in a narrative form to provide a structured memorandum, a view intended to be taken notice off. Favored One accomplishes that aim. Highly starred.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

Jennifer,
I have been a student of the Bible and a follower of God for over fifty years. You have written a very important book. It gives life to characters who sometimes seem distant and one dimensional when we read about them in our Bibles. You have created a sense of realness that is not easy to do.
Because I believe your book is so important I'm going to make this suggestion. It involves the first chapter. As familiar as I am with Bible names and places, I found myself quite confused over what the more familiar spelling would be of the words you used. Take a look at the difference in how many of these words are used in the first chapter and the second chapter. The second chapter is much easier to read.
The reason I make this suggestion is because I'm afraid many potential readers, especially those unfamiliar with the Bible, will scan the first chapter and read no further. And they would miss such a beautiful story.
Perhaps you could asterisk* the words and put the meaning at the bottom of the page. (I saw the suggestion about a glossary, but again I don't know how many people would be diligent enough to flip back and forth in a book.) You might even consider changing the names to the ones that are more familiar to our ears.
Other than that, I have no other critiques of your work. You manage to pull off the first person telling very well (not an easy task!).
Congratulations.
-David Johnson "Tucker's Way"

Looks quite good, though I'm pretty busy at the moment and didn't have time to read much. Will come back to it soon.

This is not a subject that I would normally chose to read about, not being very religious but I thought this was beautifully written. You have included a huge amount of background and unfamiliar names and yet managed to make the story gripping and readable and draw the reader in on the side of Miryam. Her doubts and attractuon to Yosef make her a real character. I found it totally convincing and I don't think there was a word out of place, nothing either boring or anachronistic.
High stars

Jennifer...I loved this body of work. I've often wondered about Mary and Joseph...about what they were like and how it felt to be chosen to raise the Babe that was born to be the King of Kings. You've gifted me with a glimpse of them that I will always remember. Thank you ...Linda

This is a wonderful story which is written very well. Your style of writing is perfect for this epic story. I felt compassion for Miryam which compelled me to keep reading. Backed with high stars.
Best wishes, Olive.

I enjoyed this above more than any historic writing on this site. It is such an interesting way of looking at things from the Mother of Jesus's eyes, or at least, a part of it. Favored One is a good addition to the story, and the Hebrew just adds spice to it.

Millicent/Wings of an Eagle

What a refreshing embellishment! Most people don't realize the word "Yeshua" was translated into salvation/Saviour over 100 times in the Tanakh, and that Emmanuel means "with us is YHVH." Excellant Jewish flavor throughout with an interesting application of every day conversation and character reflection.

Suggestions? The magi may have been the Chaldeans that kept track of Daniel's prophecy for 500 years since the captivity, but didn't the magi finally find them in Nazareth (chap. 13) maybe a year or so later and Yeshua was a young child at their house and not an infant anymore?

At the baptism, wasn't the Ruach descending just a vision that John attested to, that identifies Whom baptizes with the Ruach and he was to prepare the way for? (Isaiah 40:3) It doesn't say anyone else saw it, does it? And weren't the words John heard..."in" Whom I Am well pleased, and not "with"?

This is a near masterpiece in style, imagination and Hebrew accuracy. I find it extremely delightful and engaging, great mind candy. Thank you, you have a gift from above. Peter B. Nagy "The Bible I Thought I Knew"

Favored One is quite an interesting read. It almost comes off as a Bible type story, with all the seriousness and deep meaning that entails. Reading this book is a bit like uncovering the truths of the distant past, lost forever to the mists of time. As we turn the pages, secrets are revealed to us. It’s quite a nice feeling.

Breaking down the story specifically, author Jennifer A G Layte has some detailed characterization. Miryam seems like a real person, someone we can all appreciate and root for as the story continues. She’s scared and happy at the same time at the prospect of becoming a favored one, as anyone would be, especially a young girl with little life experience. There is also a sense of time and place here worthy of historical fiction.

The one suggestion I might make is the addition of a glossary, since so few readers will be familiar with the setting. This could explain what is known by some of the angels, since the characters all seem to know this, and also descriptions of place. Even the names and what they mean could be in there, since that seems to be an important part of this society. That might help readers to fall more easily into the story. I think many of them might even read a glossary first.

This is a well-written novel with a very unique story. I look forward to seeing how it concludes.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Hi and I had read it;I don't know where my comments went.
Your writing is impeccable and flows smoothly and magically.
The first chapter was a great opening giving us insight into the places, characters and religion. The Angel appearing here made it a real page turner.
I had checked out a lot of the stuff that I didn't understand on google the last time I read the book. It made it much easier to reread as I knew what things meant this time around.
I felt so sorry for Miryam when she had to explain her position to people. Shlomit was understanding. But generally who would believe such stories. I had the same question when I was young to how Mary convinced people that she was carrying the son of God. If it happened today the girl would be laughed at and considered a druggie or a nutter. Yosef and Miryam's father's reactions were much more realistic and believable.
This is a beautiful story, well written and I can see you are still working on it, but edits were few.
Highly starred and all my best wishes to you.

Jesamine.

An outstanding piece of writing. I only planned to read the first few chapters today but went up to chapter 12.
Cant wait to read the rest.
I will recommend this to others.

Not a genre I have dipped into before. I normally have a problem with less than conventional names, but it only took me a paragraph or two to find myself engaged with the unfolding story.

'Chosen One' stories need to have a reason to exist, but I think that your structure and plotting fill the writing with confidence to tackle this area of story-telling.

It has a very austere and serious tone to it. My only smiles were wth some of the names, but that's because I'm UK based and often they will have a faintly comical ring. (that doesn't help you much, though..)

I am currently working on a book with religious themes, but mine is abut the loss of faith, and I sense that yours is all about establishing faith.

Throughout, your writing is consistent and has the voice of authority about it.

I have added it to my watch list and stars are shining.

Looking forward to an in-depth read later in the month.

Cas

This has a very distinct flavor to it, a biblical feel and rhythm. I like the first person approach to story telling in general, and it works quite well here, putting us in her head. Technically, everything looks smooth and polished. Best of luck with this!
and if you have any interest in children's literature, please take a look at my novel, The Lost Wink.
Thanks,
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

This is a good story and the writing is good. It's interesting. The flow is easy and the only nit pick is that I prefer periods instead of semi colons.

Good job.

Jennifer,

I've read the first chapter of Favored One and I found the writing clear, well structured and interesting. I'm sure it will do well. A few specific comments follow:

off of it... strictly speaking no 'of' is needed

- since the winter, anyhow... I'm not sure if this comma is needed

when the angel appears the momentum of the previous gentle description somehow carries on - I get what you are trying to achieve with the sudden contrast but it's not quite working for me. Some sort of closure in the previous thoughts is required or perhaps a more definite and dramatic entrance of the angel.

'This was not good' - I love this understatement - good effect!

The description of her feelings is good and I like her realistic thoughts about what the angel said.

Could you perhaps start out with the angel for dramatic effect and explain the rest later as she sits there trying to take it all in?


I hope this is useful and not splitting hairs! Anyway, I've given you a high star rating and although I'm not religious I did think the story presents some intriguing possibilities! I'll read more when I get the chance.

Looking forward to your views on Horizons. If you like it enough to back it I'm sure I could find a timeslot on my shelf for Favored One too!

Warm regards,

Robert

Jennifer, as a completely non- if not downright irreligious person, I’ve been reading (and enjoying) your book at face value. I’m reading it as a fantasy, but one in which characterisation is more important than the fantasy element. The story of a girl in Roman Judea is very appealing, as is Miryam herself. Joseph sounds like a nice bloke, but I suppose he would have had to be, given the circumstances. I’m looking forward to seeing how he takes the big news. The fact that although I know what happens, I’m hoping for Miryam’s sake that it doesn’t, is a mark of how successful you have been in creating her character.
I very much enjoy your use of authentic names, it makes the whole story sound so much more authentic than if you had used the anglicised versions.
What we sceptics tend to overlook I suppose is the complete and utter faith of early people. While we would all jump to Shlomit’s conclusion and never deviate from it, I can see that in the context of your story, the fantastical, if it has a heavenly source could be believed as easily as a rape is to us today.
Your writing is extremely good. You write easily, and clearly without feeling the need to sound like the King James’ Bible, yet your characters are completely convincing. Miryam is a girl in a context where childhood has an abrupt end, and her experience cannot be compared with that of a young adolescent today. I’m glad you don’t make her a squealing teenager!
Very high stars from me, I can see this book doing extremely well on Authonomy.
Jane

This is really very good.
It is incredibly difficult to walk the line between dull and saccharin, when writing about faith, but you have danced it. I was spell-bound.

Lindsay
A Priest's Tale

Jennifer, I want to compliment your book. I haven't gotten to read it all yet, but I've thoroughly enjoyed what I've read so far! I love the true Jewish flavor to your writing. Many times even though we know our wonderful Lord comes from Israel, we forget that. I'm glad you've written this! It is very interesting to read the things that might have gone through Mary and Joseph's thoughts as all these wonderful events transpired. Congratulations!
God bless you!!
Elizabeth Kathleen
"If Children are Cheaper by the Dozen, Can I Get a Discount on Six?"

Jennifer A.G.Layte - Favored One
Sorry about my very long overdue comment. I have no critique other than commendation for what you've written as a woman who has faith in the scriptures; your research and also compassion for the One who bore the Messiah. I think devoted women all over the world will most likely be encouraged to see what Miryam had to go through - the doubts, worries, circumstances of her pregnancy - high stars for now, until I have time to sit down and read more.
All the best on authonomy
Kindest regards
Maretha/African Adventures of Flame, Family, Furry and Feathered Friends

Hi, Jenn!

At long, long last, I'm finally here with my return read. ^_^

I am stunned with the quality of your work, and I am so loving what you chose to write. Like you, I've always read the story that lies beneath the lines of scripture, and you have managed to draw this to the surface with color, life, and blazing reality. Gabriel's appearance is so common that it's etched in our minds and overlooked, but it's as if you've pulled my arm and said, "No, look, this is probably the way it went. Wouldn't you have felt this way? What would you have done?" These questions are answered in a mighty way, and I have never felt Miryam's anguish and joy like this.

I am definitely coming back to this when I have more time. I'm dying to read all you have posted, and I don't say that lightly.

~ Shelley
Sea of Jasmine

I gave you high stars for this, really loving the beauty of your words, your descriptions, well thought out dialogue and the moving story of Mary. It's very heartfelt and brings the Gospel story to life in a imaginative, poetic way.

A bold and intriguing retelling of the Birth of Christ, offering a fuller and more humanistic perspective. Somehow, your book brings to mind Francine River’s A VOICE IN THE WIND, and I won’t be too surprised if you eventually arrive at a station comparable to Francine’s. I have written many commentaries on books on this site and one of the most common drawbacks are the pitches, even for books that turn out to be surprisingly well written. On that score, I must say that your pitch is impressive and effective and passes for a model for aspiring writers. It goes to the heart of your story and draws the reader in. You are a gifted writer and you go about your story with the confidence and swagger of one born to write. Your voice is good and strong and your composition is, on the whole, excellent. However, your sentences get too long and convoluting, which take from the readability of the book – at least from how much I have read. That kind of style tasks the reader, as he has to make extra effort keep track with your thoughts without sufficient breathers. I guess breaking up your sentences would make a very good book even better. Thanks for the opportunity to look at this. Best wishes and blessings always.

Have just read the first two chapters and no further because this isn't something i would choose to read, however, it is very well written. The opening section in particular is quite beautifully done, it really is. To be honest, i like dark gritty fiction, so this type of thing would normally be a turn-off, but the opening was so impressive that i was able to read on. I'm afraid i dont have the requisite skills to give a real critique of this genre, but i can see it doing very well on here, and hopefull further afield too, and have given it high stars.

Here's a bold and intriguing premise for a book! This is just an initial comment as I put it on my schedule, hoping to give a more detailed take soonest. Thanks for the offering and blessings always.

Hi Jennifer. I've read a large chunk of your book and have to say, I've never read anything like this before. It was a refreshing change and beautifully written. There was a lot to take in for me, not being familiar with your background, but you have written it so well that it comes across so easily to the reader. I didn't find anything to nit pick, it's highly polished and I wish you all the luck with it. Many stars and I'll keep my eye on it.
Pollyanna. 'Marsupeople'

This is very interesting idea for a plot. You move it a long very well.
You use pacing very well to interest the reader to continue on.
You have unique twists and turns along the way.
Good job!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

This is beautifully written. The idea of writing this story from Miryam's POV makes it quite special. You allow us into her thoughts and fears "... what if he took me for granted, or was cruel to me, and I loved him still?"
There is the whole 'arranged marriage' scenario here and you deal with it delicately.
And when the angel comes to tell Miryam she is the chosen one "I wasn't unhappy. I was only terrified." It has made be think of this age-old story in a different way. A young woman suddenly being given such a wonderful gift, but that gift being so fraught with potential problems in others believing her story.

This has a lovely pace and an impressive use of language. It was a pleasure to read and I will be back to read more. Until then I am keeping it on my watch list.

Debbie

Hello Jennifer:

This is really beautifully written. Your knowledge of the language and biblical culture shine through and make this a uniquely fresh presentation of the life of Miriam.

Blessings.

James

Hi Jennifer,

i liked your approach to this story, and your style of construction, but perhaps the chapters could be offered titles in their own right?

best regards

Jenn, I'm sorry it's taken a little while for me to get around to reading this. I agree with the comments below that you have a really easy, natural voice that quiets any fears or uncertainties someone unused to your genre(s!) may have. Your opening scene is lovely and it's got me thinking about all the issues you've raised on your blog about how to market a book like this? I think it'd be a shame to limit your readership by seeking out a specifically Christian publishing agency, but honestly I'm not sure I (heathen that I am) would pick up a book about this subject without already being interested in the writer. Your writing is obviously strong enough to maintain your reader's interest from the first few paragraphs, so the question is just how to get readers to pick you off the shelf...

Whilst I haven't read all posted, I have read enough to first of all commend you for your beautiful style of writing. It is completely unforced and a pleasure to read. You maintain the pace like a gently flowing river and I suspect this will greatly enhance your story.
You create attractive imagery and I loved your use of the old names for Nazareth, Bethlehem etc. This is well worth supporting and I have starred it too.
One tiny error spotted in what seems very polished work. First chpt. second para. Two 'now' in quick succession, apart from that I was too busy reading to notice. Margaret.

Hi Jennifer; I have just finished reading your first chapter here and felt compelled to write something whilst it was all fresh in my mind. I did not know what to expect when I began reading this and I'm glad that I didn't, it allowed me to immerse myself in your writing, in a way that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to. I am a big fan of Gene Wolfe and his book 'Latro in the Mists' instantly sprung to mind as I read this. The reason for this was that I was not only enjoying your writing but also finding it interesting, something that has become rarer to me these days. You have a gentle, poetic voice that captured my imagination. You wrote so convincingly that I almost thought this non-fiction, a reimagining of biblical history, and had to re-check before I typed this as to how you had categorised it. Your opening paragraph was lovely, the scene at the cliffs edge instantly imaginable to me. I also particularly liked the scene where Yosef had made the small box which was kept in Miryam's skirt, it was so tenderly done. I could enthuse about this for as many words as you took to write it so I'll stop there and simply say to anyone reading my comments: stop, and read the book.
High Stars and on my WL.
RMA
The Snow Lily

Moved the "note" mentioned below to my profile.