Finger Bones

Although we write in quite different genres, your magical book invoked the return of the child in me to read this tale in wonder. Tt is a story as fresh and exciting as the summery breeze that blew through the leaves of the old hawthorn tree beneath which I sat when I first readTom Sawyer. Pure magic. With the limits that time placed upon me, I only read four chapters, but it's enough for me to say that you've captured the essence of something special here, I only wish I'd stumbled on this lovely tale when we had a house full of children over Easter, I'd have loved to have seen their enchanted faces when I read it to them. I wish you well as you ascend further up the charts. Finger Bones gets well deserved top marks from me.

Max China
The Sister

Sara, it's very easy to get completely absorbed in this book from the very beginning. It was such a smooth transition into the world of Finger Bones that I instantly forgot I was reading - which is exactly what a book should do. Finger Bones has the power of transportation, it has shades of Roald Dahl and the fairytale charm of timelessness.

I am going to predict that this book WILL be published! This is, without doubt, one of my favourite books on authonomy and, as soon as I am able, I shall give it shelf room. In the meantime, here's a big bag of golden stars. Catch!

Helen
Glass Dreams

What a delightful tale, Sara! Beautifully told with a light, sunny yet mischievous tone, children everywhere will love this! Finger Bones is a terrific title and describes an equally wonderful character who has obviously entranced many readers already judging by how quickly you are racing up the ranks! Very well done to you, Sara. Lovely work here. The very best of luck in getting this published. Natalie (The Diary of John Crow)

"Tonight is the night when dead things fly. When witches on switches fly across the sky."

Why when I read your work I'm a young child sitting in great open field surrounded by five hundred year old oaks on a moonlit night having my grandpa tell tales of Ichabod Crane, the loup garou, and the white witch of the swamps? Great writing and you build the worlds well and have that knack of saying just enough to draw us on. Nathaniel Hawthorne, Edgar Allan Poe, and Lovecraft would be proud of this I'm sure.

Or are they reading it now? Hmmmm....

Club Nanobots Critique
Hi Sara
You’ve got all the elements of a classic children’s story here. A fiesty heroine, a wise old man, ghosts, and the hint of a lurking evil, all put together very artfully. I’m afraid I haven’t got anything in the way of critique to offer, nothing struck me as in need of being done differently. Hope it goes well for you.
Maurice

Hi I apologize for the time it has took for me to get to finger bones. I have only read a few chapters but what I have read is great! I predict great things for you with this story and have no doubt that all children will love it too. You write lovely and I found myself lost in the characters! Many stars from me and thanks for a good read!

Sara,

So sorry it has taken me so long to get to your story. I've had two very busy semesters in a row and have only recently got back to reading things on Authonomy. Here are my reactions after reading three chapters.

My guess is that many young people will be interested in this tale. A ten-year-old girl being chosen to help ghosts get to where they need to be, the evil lurking around the corner, threatening the small town: these things will interest many. Now for a few particulars in these first three chapters.

I like the names you give people. Wendy Dee Winklemann, her father Odus. Henry T. Bartlett, T.R. Miller and his hound dogs. The names themselves give the story a fun atmosphere.

Nitpick: In the 8th paragraph of your first chapter, I'd drop the comma between "called" and "The Bridgeville Jewel Box". A pause here seems unnatural to me.

nitpick: In the paragraph in which you introduce her father, you unnecessarily capitalize captain twice. I was taught to only capitalize such titles when they are used with the person's name. Captain Winklemann, yes, but not Captain of the Bridgeville Police Department. Caps on BPD since this is a proper noun naming a particular police department, but not on captain itself when unaccompanied by Winklemann.

Is there a contradiction here in chp. 1? At first old Finger Bones sits down and tells Wendy he'd love to hear more about her book, but just a couple of paragraphs later he tells her he has to talk to her and that it cannot wait. If it cannot wait, why did he think he had time to hear her talk more about her book at first? I don't catch anything in between that suddenly makes it more urgent than it was when he first sits down.

I know they are friends, but I wonder how realistic it is for her to trust him when he seems to be bleeding so badly. Perhaps he is bleeding too much and doesn't have enough in his brain to think straight. You say she is a thinker, and indeed she thinks of this later, but why doesn't she think of this when she first sees all the blood on his hand? This may seem a bit unnatural to some readers.

At the end of chapter 1 you emphasize his over-sized hands and knuckles, but nothing of the blood is mentioned when he is holding the stick up. Presumably he is still bleeding, or at least his hand is still covered in blood and dripping as he holds the stick. Would this not be an unforgettable part of that picture, and therefore worth another mention at that point, though you mentioned the bleeding a few paragraphs before?

All during chapter 2 nothing is said about his bleeding hand. He does not explain it and she does not seem too concerned about what hurt him. I know the main point of this chapter is the choosing, but won't readers be curious? Wouldn't Wendy be more naturally curious and say something? Perhaps he doesn't have time to get into that, but perhaps more concern from her would be natural. Does it stop bleeding when time stops? We don't know. The injured hand is not mentioned in the chapter. Shouldn't it be, at least a little?

Anyhow, as I say, you have a strange situation here that will interest many. Best of luck with it!

Jeff McInnis
Betwixt the Trees

I loved your strong characters and imaginative names, and the idea is absolutely one-of-a-kind. The only bone I have to pick (pun pun pun) is that Wendy acts more like a seven year-old rather than a ten year-old. Perhaps I remember being more mature at that age (I may have been an odd child).

Sarah
A Darker Blue

P.S. The change you made is good. It makes a lot more sense to me now.

I love your handling of Finger Bone's death. Really liked the line about grief covering her face as Wendy realizes he's dead. I also like howFinger Bone's comforts her and she realizes he's not really gone.

I was a little confused in chapter 8. I found myself asking when, when did Finger Bones give her all these details about finding the trunk? Finger Bones mentions that Wendy needs to find the trunk in chapter 6, but that's it. Did she have another vision or maybe he told her in a dream during the sleep-over? I think a line or two about it would help the reader.

I'm excited that your book is being looked at by the editors. I don't know if you will even need my critique, but these are just questions that are coming up as I'm reading and I figure I would want the input so - voila!

I have worked on this part of the story. Let me know if this works. Thank you for catching it!

Sara

Hi Sara, I'm up to chapter 8 and a little confused. Why is there concrete by the tree? The tree shifts and sends them flying, right, but I don't know where the concrete that almost hits Henry in the head came from?

Hi Sara, I'm up to chapter 8 and a little confused. Why is there concrete by the tree? The tree shifts and sends them flying, right, but I don't know where the concrete that almost hits Henry in the head came from?

CHIRG review

What a great first line for a book!

I have only had time to read the first couple of chapters but I can see why this is in the top 5.
It's not my usual 'cup of tea' but its very well-written, engaging and I can see children being absorbed with it.
The characterisation of Finger Bones himself is fantastic.

Lisa
Great Big Safari Park Stories

Sara,
I just read your first four chapters, and I love your book. You hook readers in from the beginning with the mystery of who Finger Bones really is. I love your characters' names (like Wendy Dee Winkelmann). The town has a homey feel, despite the evil that lurks there!

I like the way Wendy was chosen by the stick to take over Finger Bones' work. You have some great hooks to make the reader want to continue and find out what happens next. You have done a great job of developing Wendy's character. I like the fact that she is a deep thinker who likes to chew bubble gum when she has some serious thinking to do!

I really enjoyed Chapter 4 - Angry Ghost. I like the way Finger Bones came to Wendy's rescue and shot the angry ghost with sea salt bullets. Then when Wendy was feeling anxious and wanted to confide in her father, Finger Bones sprinkled magic glitter on her and made her forget her worries. A little magic can always save the day.

I think children will be enchanted by your story. I have a ten year old daughter with special needs, and while this book is above her reading level, it would be a wonderful book to read to her. Like most children her age, she is interested in ghosts, but also a little bit afraid of them. I think your story entertains children without scaring them. You have a wonderful book here. Congratulations on making it to the top, and best wishes!

Sara Alley
Ghost Town

Loved this story and would like to read it in print form to my children.
Superb!!!

Debbis Hanson :¬)

Hi Sara,

Finger Bones is an easy to read, entertaining children's story. It has ghosts, magic and plenty of mystery. I liked the idea of Wendy being chosen by a stick and I felt sorry for Finger Bones because of the tales people tell about him - he seems like a nice old man.

Good luck with getting to the ed's desk

Pippa

Excellent - this is both well written and entertaining. I wish there were books like this when I was younger!

CHIRG review
Sara:
The concept of the magic stick being passed on from old Finger Bones to ten-year-old Wendy so she can send ghosts to their next destination and protect her community from an evil force is such a great one. I have read Authonomy chapter two, three and four. Not sure if we need the table of contents here as it throws off the chapters. Perhaps giving chapter titles within the chapters themselves would work. That way, when a reader clicks on chapter one they get chapter one... and can gets started reading right away.

I love the title and the cover. They'll surely draw readers to this book as it sits on a bookstore shelf. The pitch also does a great job of introducing the story and leaving the reader with a hook. Will Wendy save the town of Bridgeville? I wasn't sure the part about Wendy chewing bubblegum was necessary or relevent, especially as a first sentence in the pitch since it doesn't relate to the rest.

PLOT: The first chapter starts with some summary about Finger Bones. It's well written and engaging. I've heard editors like stories to start with action rather than summary or backstory, but don't think it's a hard and fast rule. This information about Finger Bones and Wendy and Bridgeville is a nice introduction that leads the reader into the story. It has a storytelling feel to it and allows the reader to settle in. When Finger Bones tests Wendy by asking her to hold his stick and finds that the stick chooses to reveal its magic to her, we are set for the transfer of the magic from Finger Bones to Wendy. Finger Bones warns Wendy about the evil force at work in the town and about the job she must take on with control of the stick and bag. We leave chapter two with Finger Bones saying he will teach Wendy about the stick as he was taught by the person who carried it before him. In chapter three Wendy is at school and trying to suppress her knowledge about the magic stick and how it can make stand still. We meet her two friends Claire and Henry. Wendy experiences discomfort about keeping her secret from them. A planned sleepover is discussed. I wondered a bit about a ten-year-old boy having a sleepover with two ten year old girls. Maybe it's just me, but my two daughters had all girl sleepovers after the age of five.

CHARACTERS: A few characters are introduced in the first chapter. Finger Bones is sure to capture reader's interest. Someone who is one hundred and twenty-two years old is a real hook. Finger Bones disappears from the story, but Wendy, a thoughtful ten-year-old girl, then takes centre stage. In chapter three we meet Henry and Claire. This threesome make a great combination. It brings a boy into the story and opens up the readership to both boys and girls. I've heard boys don't often read a story without a male main character, so this is perfect.

SETTING: The town of Bridgeville is introduced as a small town where everyone knows everyone. Such a perfect setting for this story. The small town atmosphere where neighbours help neighbours provides a nice backdrop for the plot. The fact that evil is lurking and something sinister is going on gets the reader caring about the community and its inhabitants. Nicely done.

STYLE: The story starts off with a narrator telling about the town and its inhabitants and sets up a nice easygoing style with a lot of narration. The story then breaks into a scene with Wendy and Finger Bones in the town square that includes a nice balance of action, dialogue and narration. The the next chapter a scene set at school is from Wendy's point of view. The writing is set at an appropriate level for the intended reader. Great

POINT OF VIEW: the story begins with an outside narrator telling the story, then after the three *** we switch to some information about Wendy followed by a scene with Wendy and Finger Bones. I wonder if this first part before *** might work well as a prologue since it's all summary? When we meet Wendy and Finger Bones together we get inside both of their heads. I think it could just as easily stay inside Wendy's head and pov.

Finger Bones is a great read and children will eat up the plot with good ghosts and malicious spirits. Wendy is a great protagonist and her two friends provide an opportunity for the three to work together against the bad guys!!

I'm giving Finger Bones six stars and putting it on my watchlist. I'll be back to read as time allows.

Cheers.
Debra H
Turnaround Bay

You and Mrs. Taylor have something in common - good hooks! Looking forward to getting a chance to read chapter 3 and more.

Sara,

Comments as promised.

I think this is a nice concept - very Tim Burton-esque - and will certainly appeal to kids with a darker side to them (nothing wrong with a bit of Scooby Doo)!.

I'm guessing, based on the density of the language and the fright factor, that this is aimed at early teens?

The pace is nice, each chapter picking up nicely on the one before it. Attention span is always a challenge with any readers, let alone kids, but I think you've covered that well. The children's characters could possibly do with a bit more depth but I only got to chapter 5 so this may develop later.

Well done Sara. I wish you the best on your journey to the desk!

Regards
Bruce :)

Hi Sara, thanks for your welcoming message!

I just finished "The Choosing" and I'm enjoying your story. The writing style is spot on for a great children's novel, yet the content is sinister and creepy in a way that can chill an adult like me to the bones! It will be thrilling to watch a child thrown into this dark world of magic and spirits. I'll keep reading!

Keep writing!

CHIRG REVIEW
Finger Bones by Sara Stinson
I continued reading Wendy and Finger Bones' story and enjoyed it as much as before. :-)

Chapter 3 - Secrets
Wendy's best friends in the world, Claire and Henry can't fathom out what is bothering their friend. Wendy thinks of cancelling their weekend sleepover, but decides to rather carry on. She tries her best to keep her secret, but it's not easy. This chapter is well-written with just enough dialogue to keep the plot moving.

Chapter 4 - The Angry Ghost
I think this is not just a very informative chapter, but it's also well written and I think if I read this as a child, I would have been deliciously and genuinely scared. First there is the story about Mrs Harper. Wendy wonders why she would want to go to an old overgrown cemetry in the first place. Then there is the story of Mr Grapples (effective name) who was swept away when the Bones River flooded... and even though his grave is dug next to his wife's, with tombstone and all, he is not buried there... interesting.
When Wendy decides to take the overgrown path to Finger Bones' shack she meets a ghost - not friendly and Finger Bones comes to her rescue, shooting salt at the ghost, who disperses into tiny pieces but not for long...
Your dialogue in this chapter is again, excellent and suits the genre well. You have a fine sense for description and the angry ghost is clearly etched in my mind. I intend to continue reading as soon as possible.
I think this is a lovely read and deserves to be on the desk. As soon as I'm able, I will most certainly back this book. HIGH STARS from me.
Maretha
African Adventures of Flame, Family, Furry and Feathered Friends

With the wild enchantment of childhood wonder jumping out of the pages that you write, you have a sense of internal pace appropriate to the story being relayed. It feels neither too fast nor too slow. You describe the events and the story in a way that is easy to follow and easy to understand, although I think that with extra work, this could provide strong commercial appeal.

By work, I mean adding emotive language to the descriptions of the events, so for instance adding metaphors or similes. For me, the language, whilst being appropriate, is nothing extraordinary, although this doesn't detract from the decent idea that you are working with. The characters are too similar to each other however, and the dialogue feels fake. Try to read give each character a different personality in their speech, and then read it out to yourself to see if it's working. There are also minor gramatical issues, such as speech marks in inappropriate places, but this is a pedantic criticism and doesn't detract from the reading experience.

You have shown great promise in your writing aptitude! Above all else, your clear structure is what keeps it all coherent as a story and makes it perfect for easy reading. The story never stagnates as well, which can happen in some stories that I have read (even published ones in which I wonder how they ever managed to become published), so if you leave this story for a while, come back to it some time in the near future, you might see it with fresh eyes and be able to elaborate, review and/or create new parts to this novel, which will probably be enjoyable to write and more than enjoyable to read.

Ambitious Fox :)

Sara, Finger Bones is entertaining and well-written. I like the small-town feel and sense of responsibility to protect it. I am about 7 chapters in and enjoying the flow of the story. Best of luck for quick publishing... starred and backed.
Mona Krueger (Facing The Truth)

Sure! I can do that. Hope the same in return:)))

Pitch: Very strong, not too long or too short, just enough to make the reader intruiged.
Sarah, what a magnificent story. You have created a whimisical world through Finger Bones and Wendy! I picture Finger Bones as a mysterious, but cute, almost endearing old man who has a universal relatable quality. And Wendy (the chosen one of the stick). She is also very likeable, we are rooting for her! I am curious to know what she will learn and lose on this journey. You have set-up a very exciting, adventurous story, and I cannot wait to see how it unfolds. As for your writing/editing/punctuation, I find it to be utterly flawless. Excellent work!

CHIRG:

Sara,
I read the first three chapters.
What an imaginative, warm, and witty story you've written. An old man who is 122 years old isn't the usual subject for a children's book, and that's why this is so unique. Your writing is so descriptive that I could picture Finger Bones and Wendy sitting on the bench quite clearly. I would've loved to have curled up with this book when I was a child. On the small amount that I've read I dearly hope your book wings it's way to the Ed asap. I've given you the maximum stars allowed. I shall also come back and read more -- I love ghost stories.

There was only one little typo I noticed : Chapter 2 .....as he laid the bindle in his lap.... (bundle?)


Fabulous writing, Sara. Well done.

Jane x

Hi Sara
I'll put you on my shelf in a day or two and leave it there till the end of the month to see if it helps get you into the top five.
Best wishes.
Brian.

as a teacher of over fifteen years I am always glad to see a practiced and crafted hand putting out work that I am totally incapable of...your chosen audience is difficult to engage but I think you have the right balance of interesting story, excellent talent and concentrated undertsanding....glad to back it.

I am writing because I love to write. My book is for entertainment in hopes children will want to read. I have taught special needs for 25 years. Even they love entertainment. So for as a purpose, I WANT THEM TO READ. And it is working...

Sara,

I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question. Is your book purely for the entertainment of normal children or do you hope to empower children with special needs? Let's say I'm a five-year-old girl and my father won't hug me because I'm immobilized with dystonia. How will your book brighten my life? Let's say I'm a bullied, eleven-year-old boy who's mentally challenged? How will your book strengthen me in my next go-around with the bullies? Let's say I'm six and entering first grade with treacher collins syndrome. How will your book help me when kids start telling me how ugly I am?

As you approach the ED, no one denies that you are not a powerful writer, but you've dealt with special needs children all your adult life. My only question is how you intend to use that power to help them.

Andrew

Sara,

I hope you don't mind if I ask you a question. Is your book purely for the entertainment of normal children or do you hope to empower children with special needs? Let's say I'm a five-year-old girl and my father won't hug me because I'm immobilized with dystonia. How will your book brighten my life? Let's say I'm a bullied, eleven-year-old boy who's mentally challenged? How will your book strengthen me in my next go-around with the bullies? Let's say I'm six and entering first grade with treacher collins syndrome. How will your book help me when kids start telling me how ugly I am?

As you approach the ED, no one denies that you are not a powerful writer, but you've dealt with special needs children all your adult life. My only question is how you intend to use that power to help them.

Andrew

I love a good ghost story and to my pleasure I was not disappointed. Good luck with reaching the Ed's desk.

Dawn
Sammy and the Wise Willow

CHIRG
Sara what a great story you have here. I read all 26 chapters and it is really alive with great characters. So well written. Wishing you good luck with this one and i can see it heading to the editors desk real quick!
;)
diane

Sara you pulled me in..loved your character developement and its tight flow...I read afew chapters and envisioned it all...good work...I'll be watching. ........from Papa Raynie Puddles

This is a wonderful book. Wendy Dee Winklemann is a smart little girl and this is such a fun adventure. Really hoping for a sequel!!

Although we write in quite different genres, your magical book invoked the return of the child in me to read this tale in wonder. Tt is a story as fresh and exciting as the summery breeze that blew through the leaves of the old hawthorn tree beneath which I sat when I first readTom Sawyer. Pure magic. With the limits that time placed upon me, I only read four chapters, but it's enough for me to say that you've captured the essence of something special here, I only wish I'd stumbled on this lovely tale when we had a house full of children over Easter, I'd have loved to have seen their enchanted faces when I read it to them. I wish you well as you ascend further up the charts. Finger Bones gets well deserved top marks from me.

Max China
The Sister

I can picture my three imaginary children looking up at me wide-eyed and enthralled as I read this out loud to them. It’s the choice and attention to detail which makes this so magical. The fact of it all being so lucidly imagined. I read the first two chapters and then skipped on to Train Trestle and the meeting of Wendie and Willie. Fabulous work. A story for intelligent children and let’s face it all children are intelligent when they are treated as such.

Engaging storyline and characters. Like the relationship you create between Wendy and Finger Bones.
Children like a good ghost story and this doesn't disappoint.

High stars
Andy

Beautiful story-telling, Sara. I like the effort you take to set the scene, and you have created lovely characters in Finger Bones and Wendy. Their relationship is sweetly crafted too. It all trots along at a very agreeable pace.

I was impressed with your description of Wendy's first stand-off with a ghost - particularly how he pawed the ground with his foot and charged - all very easy to picture. Also loved some of the names: 'Abner Grapples' and 'Screaming hollow Road' stand out.

Excellent stuff. Going on my shelf.

Roo

This starts very well and will, I am sure, be very popular with children. Your style is clear and straightforward and leads one on. I have put it on my watchlist and given it lots of stars.
CJ Bowness
The Accidental Adventurers

Clever plotting, and I like the character of wendy who has just the right attitude to fear and adventure. Backed
Rosalind
A RELATIVE INVASION

As promised, Sara back to read some more of your book.

Chapter 7
Lots happening here. There is the drama and noise of the storm and the sirens and poor Finger Bones' cabin is on fire. I like the strong feeling of friendship between the three children and the fact Claire mentions how Wendy stood up for her when she was being picked on.

A couple of things here, 'He figured it out!' Then you say that Henry whispered - the exclamation mark and then Henry whispering jarred a bit for me.
Later on in this chapter I thought there were perhaps a few too many adverbs around Henry and Mrs Winkelmann coming upstairs and into Wendy's room.

Great image of Finger Bones emerging unscathed from the cabin with a white glow around him.
He has died in the fire but tells Wendy that he will be back. I think you handled this part of the story really well and I could picture him bending down to show Wendy what was in his sack. This scene contrasts nicely with the noise and drama that went before.

Chapter 8
In the first sentence perhaps you could cut the second 'Wendy' and use 'her' instead.
Loved the description of Henry being 'wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito'.

Again, there is the theme of friends sticking together when Wendy asks Claire and Henry to help her find the trunk Finger Bones told her about.

The story is moving along with a brisk pace and I will return to read more as I want to know if they find the trunk and what's inside it.

Already highly starred
Debbie

I've had this on my shelf for a while, after browsing throuh enough to know it was a keeper.
Just read chapter one. This writing is top notch. Clean and professionally done. No errors I could see. The story unfolds very nicely, introducing the town of Bridgeville and several of its inhabitants. The relationship between Wendy and Fingerbones will delight every child. It's not too scary...yet, and I trust the author will carefully create some goosbumps without going too far. It's very nicely crafted,giving out little bits of informantion at a time, bt not too much. A nice cliff hanger when he asks Wendy if she wants to hold his stick with the bindly on the end. He's carried it for 100 years! Of course her tummy made a flop!!!
Great opening to what promises to be a fun and engaging story.
VERY nicely done!!!
Will be back.
~Joe
Isles End

Hi Sara,
While I'm not a YA reader I love your young protagonist and her lovely friendship with Finger Bone. I have only read the first chapter so I'll definitely be adding you to my bookshelf for further investigation.
Good luck and all the best with this.
If you have the time, please stop by 'It Might Burn' by R Zaman - thank you from Steel Gods

Glad I dug around in my inbox for trade reads so I could find this one. Please please please come read my story. It's just I have a policy that I only trade full reads for full reads and... well this is good! I really want to read the rest of it can do my full ten page review and everything. (Also I have a slot open for backing since one of the author's on my shelf left.)

Anyway, great story, I love how you use an element of creepiness without having to have your characters constantly scream and holler to get the point across. Not everyone would freak just seeing a ghost, but after a while they would progressively get more on edge, which is why the fifth (fourth really) chapter had me so enthralled. I also liked that I really believed that Wendy was a girl who could really have existed. She's not artificially involved with boys at ten, she's not far too easily enchanted though she is childish, and she has awkward friends. (Let's face it, ten is an awkward age period.)

If I had to nail down a problem, I would say there's a little too much tell over show in the first two chapters. It's not entirely distracting, but I'm not entirely sure all of it was even necessary.

CHIRG review
Hi Sarah, I have read your pitch and Chapter 1. High stars! Here are my thoughts on both:
Pitch: I like the idea for your story! I have never read these which have similar storylines, but you may have: Mr. Stink by David Walliams and Skellig by David Almond. Both are about the developing friendship between a homeless man and a child.
I like the names for the Chapters and this also indicates a well structured novel!
Chapter 1: Excellent open line which is on its own for effect. Also the reader instantly knows from this and the title that we are going to learn more about this character. Also I like the place names like ‘Bone River.’
You create a suitably spooky atmosphere in your second paragraph from what the locals say, etc.
‘Mr. Murkett, the old railroad conductor’? This is the impression I get anyway - that the introductory characters are old.
‘his brown face was a grandpa face’? The way I read it was that you were going to add more to the sentence but then it stopped: ‘his brown face … a grandpa face.’
Could the stories in the community be developed about Finger Bones, would you say? I only ask this because I have a similar character in my story who there are stories about and I was told by a reader that to have a rumour or two made more realistic at the start would help.
I like the set up between Finger Bones and Wendy on the park bench. I also like the way that you ‘bring Wendy to life’ through her italicised thoughts. I think the story really comes to life when you use the dialogue between your characters – a thought that I had was that you could have the first part of narrative which is ‘telling’ as a Prologue and then your writing moves into the present tense when you have your two characters’ dialogue – this could be where Chapter 1 begins. You also create a sense of mystery through the blood here.

Finger Bones.
By Sara Stinson.


When I first started reading, I thought, what a creepy book this is going to be.
Screaming Hollow Road where old, Finger Bones lives—he’s a hundred and twenty two years old and a strange character to say the least.
I found the description of the area with its ghostly sightings and eerie noises to be a good hook for the young reader goose pimples and all—they will certainly take to your story as I did.
Although, Finger Bones appears as a frightening sort of character, I rather liked him as I read on.
There’s a kind side to him not known to many, who steer clear of him.
I like the way he chatted to Wendy on a daily basis, sharing a story from a library book.
It’s a great story for young kids how Wendy is to take over the job of ghost management job from Finger Bones.
I enjoyed the search for the trunk that would contain all the answers to enable Wendy to take over.
I would have enjoyed this as a child; I would have pulled the bed covers up tight mind you afterwards.
Fantastic story, Sara, I absolutely love it—Brilliant writing that is very publishable in my opinion.
Full stars and on my shelf for the duration
Well done!

Very best wishes,Sara.

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest (Series) – Cosmos 501.

What an amazing read, dear Sara! You have to know all the kitchen of the genre to create such a wonderful thing!
All elements are in their proper places, nevertheless the reader can't say what will happen next, I mean you've managed to retain the element of intrigue throughout the read. The opening chapter grasps your attention immediately. You feel the mystery's in the air. You smell it. You can't stop. To tell the truth, I wasn't going to read more than a couple of chapters but could stop when the sixth one was behind.
Well done, dear Sara! I'll show your book to my granddaughter when she comes to visit us on X-mass. She's of Wendy's age and I'm sure she'll like it greatly.
Thanks for the opportunity to read your wonderful book. It deserves the constellation of the highest stars!
Still on my WL.

PS
Pay attention to Ch. 5, the end of the first paragraph:
"...and carrying a sack of clothespins"
The next sentence:
"...she said taking the bag of clothespins"
IMHO the latter would sound better this way:
"... she said taking his bag."

Have a wonderful day!

Valentine But
Escape

This is a CHIRG review:

A very fun, engaging story, with some great, clean writing and a spooky undercurrent that should really appeal to children. The friendship between Wendy and Finger Bones is quite unique, and there's a nice sense of mystery right off the top with the unexplained injury. I haven't read a ton of books for this age group, but the style and tone seems spot on to me.
Very well done, and high stars.

Mike
What, the Elf?
Arrival of the Ageless

Hi Sarah, I will be coming off site shortly as I have published The Magic Kingdom' on Amazon. I have another one on the go. Good luck with your writing and all the best for christmas. Margaret C.

Hi Sarah, I will be coming off site shortly as I have published The Magic Kingdom' on Amazon. I have another one on the go. Good luck with your writing and all the best for christmas. Margaret C.

Dear Sarah

Wow - can I just say that the first thing that hits you about this book is how beautifully formatted it is - I didn’t even know you could add different fonts. Presentation is everything so well done on that score.

You have made this effortless, Sarah. The pace, the dialog, the story, the characters and the world of Bridgeville itself are expertly drawn and yet understated. You have struck that most difficult of balances between ‘set up’ and story development. Wendy, the librarians, the Finger’s house all well drawn.

Very best of luck with it.

Tornbridge
The Washington Adventure

A CHIRG review of the opening chapters:

I'm somewhat late to this bandwagon, but glad to jump aboard.

A fine tale, well-told. The prose is clean and tight. The characters are interesting and the opening chapters welcome you into Wendy's universe with a charming but mysterious opening sequence. Loved the burlap sack.

The concept is presented originally, with enough allusions to Bogey-man/Struwwelpeter/ psychopomp figures to give it a timeless, almost classic quality. The pace of the opening chapter is relaxed, but it works well, establishing the setting and tone of the book without rushing the plot.

By chapter 2 (The Choosing), my inner teen-age boy wanted a little more action. For example, the lengthy exchange between Wendy and Finger Bones, though filled with interesting information, slowed the pace, with Wendy asking questions and Finger Bones telling her the answers. This may test some younger readers' patience; and the passage may have been more persuasive if Wendy were less passive and/or if the dialogue were broken up by some more "movement and light" or even a touch of humour.

All in all, however, these are very minor criticisms of a strong story. The opening chapters of Finger Bones are engaging; and I'll be back to read more. Recommended.

David James Kane
The Scattersmith

Wendy and Finger Bones are great. I like this story, the plot, the way you tell it, the way you keep us gripped and most of all the flow of the material. Its a classic. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Sean

Sara, it's very easy to get completely absorbed in this book from the very beginning. It was such a smooth transition into the world of Finger Bones that I instantly forgot I was reading - which is exactly what a book should do. Finger Bones has the power of transportation, it has shades of Roald Dahl and the fairytale charm of timelessness.

I am going to predict that this book WILL be published! This is, without doubt, one of my favourite books on authonomy and, as soon as I am able, I shall give it shelf room. In the meantime, here's a big bag of golden stars. Catch!

Helen
Glass Dreams