Book Jacket

 

rank 5918
word count 31430
date submitted 21.06.2012
date updated 26.08.2012
genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Romance, Comedy...
classification: moderate
incomplete

True Colours

Emma Carey

Tragedy leads thirty-something Evie Fielding on a new path.
Starting a journey of discovery, self preservation and new aspirations.
Her life is just beginning...

 

Evie Fielding has a successful career, adoring supportive boyfriend and a beautiful home.
A perfectly happy life...until her world is turned upside down.
Now following a different path, she begins a new life, one that will lead her and her friends to new challenges, new aspirations and a whole lot more than they bargained for.
Life is for living and Evie has a date with destiny.

True Colours symbolises the trials and tribulations of a twenty-first century woman, coping with everything that comes at her head on.
A cocktail of frothy fun meets the eccentric and flamboyant. Guaranteed tears, laughter and appreciation for the little things in life.
Remember nothing and no one are quite what they seem...

http://www.authonomy.com/books/45156/true-colours/

 
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tags

chick lit, comedy, dogs, down to earth, fun, inspiring, loveable, motivational, romantic, women's fiction

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28 comments

 

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KirkH wrote 574 days ago

Club Nora review:
Concept is Ok, but it seems too amateur. I find too many adverbs, (those pesky -ly words; there were at least five in the first sentence of the story!) This needs to be cut down drastically (see what I mean). The second paragraph, in my opinion, was too much stuffed with description of the health club - I wanted to get to the point of the story but had to dredge through the descriptions first. The other reviews seem to be accurate as well.
Hope this helps.

marcie8 wrote 587 days ago

Hi Emma,

A Club Nora Chapter One Critique:

Overall:
I think this story shows promise but isn't quite there yet. For me, the opening chapter felt scattered, and, even at the end, I was struggling to envision where the story was going. Without having read further, it's difficult to form a concrete opinion, but I don't feel confident that the story starts in the right place. Based on your story description, I would suggest trying instead to start the story with her struggling to move on from the news that has changed her life. That would make your character arc considerably clearer - struggling and broken to strong and resilient. Also, since this is a romance, can you make it clearer who the love interest will be, and what both party's 'will they/won't they' conflict will be?

Your writing style is clear and easy to read, and I think with some tweaking, this can be a fabulous story.

Marcie

Christina in AZ wrote 593 days ago

Club Nora Review of Chapter One
Emma:
Hook - intriguing.
Opening - Introduced to the fitness club where Evie works and her friends there.

Conflict - don’t know yet, but are tempted to “stay tuned” to find out.

Plot - not sure what it is as yet, but we know something major has happened at the end of the chapter.

Setting - we get a feel for time and place in the first chapter.

Characters - I feel we get at least a superficial view of Evie and her friends at the club.

Dialogue - very natural.

Style is clear.

Technical - Some edits for you:
Paragraph beginning Why does she always (remove comma after always)
Paragraph beginning Marco was a dedicated... not judgmental (not none) or could be non-
Paragraph beginning “Oh, I don’t know, Cait;... needs closing” at end of her statement before Evie hesitated.
Paragraph “Farewell.” If this is still Mark talking it should be at the end of the previous paragraph. Otherwise, it seems one of the girls said this and that doesn’t seem to make sense.

Paragraph beginning Oh lord, what's this all about? illegal crimes seems a bit superfluous, are there legal ones?
Pace - In the first chapter we are presented with Evie’s “perfect” situation, but find at the end something big has happened. Great way to get the reader on to the next chapter! 

I am drawn in to read further to see what has become of Evie’s life.
All the best,
Christina
Modern Adventures in Sherwood Forest

Su Dan wrote 601 days ago

good narrative style and very better dialogue...very well done...
backed...
read SEASONS...

Patty Apostolides wrote 601 days ago

Club Nora Critique Ch. 1 -

This was a light read, and felt cheerful, breezy and entertaining. I felt as if I were there, with the women at the club, exercising, gossiping, or ogling. Getting a wedding proposal is an enormous moment for women, and you pegged it well, with Cait daydreaming of what happened.

Suggestions/Nitpicks:

At times, I couldn't remember which one was Evie and which was Cait, there was a lot of back and forth dialogue with them. At times I felt the pace was too fast, which may have been the result of too much dialogue, and not enough description of the setting.

The last sentence: "I'm afraid; we have some bad news to tell you." was outstanding, and definitely caught my interest. Of course I wanted to turn to the next chapter based on that sentence. However, I think you could remove the semi-colon, which is distracting.

Very nice job and good luck in your writing!

Best,
Patty Apostolides
"The Greek Maiden and the English Lord"

Abbiealso wrote 604 days ago

CLub Nora Review
HI what a great teaser of and ending to the first chapter, i had to peek and see what the news was, my bad. YOu have a nice light and bubbly writing style that has the story plugging away nicely. I really like your Mc and i am anxious for her to be happy. Highly starred and on my WL.
Abbie

femmefranglaise wrote 608 days ago

Club Nora Critique

Hi Emma, it's nice to come back to your book again. It's been some while since I read it. You have made a good start and your story develops nicely. I like the interaction between the two main characters and your dialogue reads well. There is of course a great hook at the end of chapter one. We all want to know what the bad news is. My only tiny criticism, and I think it was the same one I mentioned before, is that I think you overuse adverbs particularly in the beginning. It's just a personal opinion though, and others may have a different one.

With a bit of editing, I think this can do really well and I wish you all the best with it.

Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

Emma.L.H. wrote 609 days ago

Club Nora.

Hello, Emma. I couldn't read just the first chapter; I've read four so far and am thoroughly enjoying it! This is such a smooth paced, easy read. Good start to chapter one and a good hook at the end; that's what pulled me in to continue reading!

Your descriptions are rich and easily imaginable and you have some strong characters here. Believable dialogue and a nice narrative voice. Your work is also polished, I only noticed the odd niggle: the odd comma could be inserted here and there and some words need hyphenating. For example:

Happy go lucky (happy-go-lucky).

Nothing that an edit wouldn't sort out. I spotted no other prblems and think you've done a good job here. Highly starred and I wish you all the best with this, well done.

Emma B wrote 612 days ago

Club Nora

I read your Chapter One, (And obviously some of two, great ending, totally hooked) and found it easy to imagine.
Your characters are well described and their dialog really helps with that. All three women are funny, realistic and i'm looking forward to finding out what challenges they'll face.
I really understood Evie's love of her job, the way she saw a client out of the gym and relayed what exercise he did. I do that. It's a pride thing and a nice touch.
All the best, good start, Emma

TDonna wrote 619 days ago

Emma, you're great with dialogue and character development. She's taken such a likeable, delightful shape in my mind by chapter 4. You made me chuckle with the line, "...the photograph appeared to Evie to only accentuate his worst features....ever receding hairline...and the awful spectacles...made him look like a human bumble bee." The writing made it as if I could see her expression as she thinks this. You've captured the awkwardness, too, of the meeting between Evie and Heidi quite well. Wiow.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

FrancesNewton wrote 621 days ago

My Club Nora review.

• Opening –
I liked the opening paragraph. It gave a nice amount of detail.
• Conflict –
Not sure of any yet.
• Plot –
From the pitch it sounded like Evie was going on a so called adventure. I like how the story has started. It has a natural build up. I like where it seems to be going!
• Setting –
Cornwall.
• Characterization –
I think all the characters more or less in the first chapter, are very well rounded and very realistic… it was very easy to imagine them, whilst reading and get to know them.
• Dialogue –
Fits in the story nicely.
• Point of View –
I like how you alternated between the narrator and first person POV.
• Style –
Your style in easy to follow and read.
• Hook –
I was hooked, yeah to read onto chapter two. To see if I was right in thinking something had happened to Dan.

Overall, I liked what I’ve read and will keep on reading. Nice work :)

MrsGray wrote 621 days ago

Club Nora Critique

Emma,

You've done a lovely job on this romance. It has plenty of handsome men to fantasize about, and great relatable characters throughout. I can easily picture myself in this setting and I see lots of potential after just one chapter. Your writing is easy to follow and the dialog very natural.

I can't believe you ended the chapter like that! What torture for a first chapter critique! So, the hook did it's job. I sneaked a peak at the next chapter. What a twist for the happy girl we start out with!

Nice job.

April Gray
The Illusion

NinaMills wrote 621 days ago

Club Nora Critique – True Colours by Emma Carey

I enjoyed your first chapter, Emma. I made notes as I went along coz I’m hella forgetful.

I liked Evie (And I love her name. I suppose it's short for Evangeline, a beautiful name.) I enjoyed the interaction between Evie and Sarah. I remember Chris DeBurgh’s “Lady in Red.” Weren’t you like 5 when that song was popular? :-)

Grammar/Spelling:
♦ You see the thing is my husband says I need to /loose/ a bit of weight. Should be /lose/.
♦ Irritation was /visible/ in her voice. Maybe try ‘Irritation was /evident or audible/ in her voice.’
♦ Flicking the light on she guided them into lounge. Is /the/ missing before lounge?

I found the exchange between Evie and Sarah over Sarah’s gym attire very giggleable and so I giggled.

Great chapter ending - I wanted to read on and find out what the bad news was. (And I did.)

I think with some editing and polishing you’ve got the makings of a good novel, Emma. I wish you all the best with it.

♪ Nina ♪

Shelby Z. wrote 622 days ago

This is an easy read.
You have a style that is fresh and unique.
The story idea is very, very creative. You develop the MC and the story at the same pace.
At first things do seem a bit slow and too easy, but then you start livening things up.
The cover and pitch are cute and creative.
Grand work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Olive Field wrote 622 days ago

Club Nora Critique:

Evie is a lovely character which I guess we will see grow on our journey with her through this book. Good start, we get to meet Evie's friends and her nemesis, the not so chirpy Veronica. Cait breezes in in style. I like her dialog. I would only let Cait use the pet names like "honey" and "Sweetie" because they are Americanisms. It didn't feel right when Sarah used "Sweetie".
"She asked with inquisitiveness" This is a bit of a mouthful and I feel interferes with the otherwise easy flow.
Well written and great hook. I had to read chapter two. This gets better the more you read. High stars.
Best wishes, Olive.

Mindy Haig wrote 623 days ago

Club Nora Critique:
Hi Emma,
I just read your first chapter. You have a great start here! I like the pace and the easy flow of the writing. You have a good MC, and you did a really good job of dropping the reader right into her life.

A couple things that stood out to me were: You use 'had' before a lot of your past tense verbs - had agreed, had looked, had greeted... I don't know the rule on that, but the verb is already past tense so it seems redundant. The other thing (and I mention this because I have had issues with this as well) is overuse of pet names. 'Sweetie' and 'Honey' get distracting after a while, and the girls probably wouldn't call each other those things at work.

Anyway, I really like what you've got here. Your hook at the end of the chapter makes me want to continue reading!
All the best!
Mindy
The Wishing Place

L_MC wrote 623 days ago

Club Nora First Chapter Review

The first chapter shows Evie in a happy place in her life. She has friends, a job she likes, engaged to a man she loves. She has a future to plan and look forward to. It reflects that light-hearted nature and has an upbeat tone. The ending provides tension and is a good hook.

Lots of those ly words, so they stand out.

I'm far from great at punctuation so don't often raise it but this comma felt wrong, 'sweeping curvature of steel commanded, the reception area...' I spotted a few more like that as I read on.

Don't think the for is necessary at the end of, 'gave her the attention the fiery redhead craved for.' I came across other typos and repeated words so would recommend an edit for them.

The story is about Evie and initially I thought was being told from her point of view, but the POV seems to jump around with the thoughts and feelings of others often being expressed.

pclady wrote 625 days ago

Club Nora Critique:

Nicely written, easy flowing dialogue. Got a real sense of time, place and budding picture of characters. Ending chapter on a tension point is very effective, makes reader want to read more.

Would suggest a thorough check for inappropriately placed commas, etc., and to tighten up loosely constructed sentences. Made reading a little splintered [though brain automatically spans the awkward spots]. A really good edit ought to make this a top-notch contemporary work. Lots of stars & a spot on my shelf when available.

Best of luck,
Chrysta
[aka pclady]

Kristen_Undead wrote 631 days ago

Hi Emma,

I just check out chapter one. Great use of imagery. Your upbeat tempo reflects Evie's good mood as well as the health club setting. I did think it was odd to change to Veronica's POV in the middle of the chapter. I would probably cut that and just stick to Evie's POV. Other than that, looking forward to reading more!

Kristen
Immortal Dilemma

R. Dango wrote 632 days ago

Emma,
I've just read through chapter 3 and quite enjoyed it. It's easy to read with a perfect mix of dialogues, starting from the light and upbeat chapter one with beautiful and healthy girls with perfectly happy life, to the sudden tragedy of the chapter 2, and chapter 3 where Ernie, the little border terrier is starting to show his personality and glimpse of promise that the role he'd play in his mater's life. And now with the shocking message, Evie's world is about to turn upside down (again), I am eager to continue reading. I can see this as a TV show as well.
Good luck!
R

TDonna wrote 641 days ago

Wow. This is a light, delightful read. You quickly jump into the action. The first chapter read like the beginning of a movie. I liked how you quickly introduced the characters and wasted no time to develop their personalities. It has a good pace, too. The ending creates a shivering suspense that makes it a page turner (or mouse clicker :)). Well done!
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

Neville wrote 647 days ago

True Colours.
By Emma Carey.


I found the book to be very well put together with excellent flowing dialogue.
Plenty of girlie talk going off, so it will do well as a ladies book—they’ll love it!
It has plenty of cheerful characters and the feeling of friendship running throughout it…pleasant reading in fact!
You’ve left a good hook for the reader at the end of the first chapter, the police arriving with bad news for Evie—great stuff.
I noticed many errors but mostly the same error reoccurring, mostly with speech.
I’ve pointed out some, but there are many more.
I’m not being critical, only trying to be helpful. It’s a shame to spoil a good book that you’ve worked so hard on—and it is a good book to me!

…’Yes, looking good Evie.’ she thought satisfied… Comma after (Evie) not a period as it’s followed by a speech tag. Personally I would use Italics for thoughts and drop the quotation marks-they’re not required.
…”Oh yes, then he asked if I would spend the rest of my life with (him.)” (glazing) lovingly at the image of him in her mind… Comma required after (him). Do you mean ‘gazing’?
…”Congratulations, oh this is fabulous news.” (emphasising )the word fabulous… Comma after ‘news’ and a misspell - (emphasizing).
…7ish… should be written , not numerical.

Plenty of stars and best wishes for your book, Emma!
Well done!!

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone.

GCleare wrote 649 days ago


True Colours

I enjoyed your first chapter and Evie is an engaging main character. The beginning is a bit rough, and I would recommend you cut the first two paragraphs completely. Everything before Evie’s conversation with Cait could use tightening, but once you get rolling along the dialogue is lively and cute. Perhaps you should start it there and then dribble in the backstory? The shifting point of view confused me a bit, I’m not sold on omniscient POV. Good hook at the end of chapter 1, you have a knack for drama. This has the makings of a nice light read and the chick lit girls should love it! Good luck with it on Authonomy. ~Gail SECRETS WE KEEP

Debbie R wrote 652 days ago

Emma

This is really well-written and your chatacters are great, especially Evie your MC.
Oh, all that happiness and excitement of Dan's proposal to Evie was so uplifting. And then that police car sitting outside the house. You certainly nailed the contrast between happy-go-lucky and disaster. That last paragraph to chapter one certainly took me by surprise.
Then there is Ernie, the Border terrier - a woman's best friend.

I can see this being a really popular read. It is engaging and has a great pace.

I am sure it will do well here.

High stars
Debbie


Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 654 days ago

Emma,
You have your protagonist Evie taken for a ride by a philandering man who meets up with a car accident before he can account for his actions. Dan's death is apparently just the beginning as more revelations about his womanizing come to light. Evie's dilemma is can she put the past behind her and start anew? Thus do you have your readers at the edges of their seats. You have a conversational style that is both appealing and easy to follow. Thank you so much for the engaging read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Christine May wrote 656 days ago

Chapter two, great transformation, well done, I loved the scene where Ernie shows his happiness with Evie's return to life in the park by jumping in her arms.
Christine

Christine May wrote 656 days ago

What a great way to start a book. You describe a very happy upbeat person, full of life and loving life. You describe the surroundings well, I love the torture of the Yoga class, having fallen recently and being picked up by three young ladies fifty years younger than myself.
Will read more later.
Christine

femmefranglaise wrote 664 days ago

Hi Emma and welcome to Authonomy.

I've read your first chapter and you've made a good start. You've set the scene well and introduced the main characters and there's a definite hook at the end of the first chapter so I want to read on. Evie seems like a sympathetic character, the sort a reader would identify with.

One of the best bits of advice I got when I first uploaded my book was to read it out loud to myself so I could see where the punctuation should lie. I think you'd really benefit from giving this a go as there is quite a bit of punctuation missing and that can put some readers off. They can be a pedantic lot!

For example 'Do you want me to stay (comma) Evie (you always have a comma before a name when you use it in this sense)?' she asked supportively, squeezing her hand.

and 'Miss Fielding (comma)' Sergeant Cooke began (at the end of dialogue, if you are going on to put in a speech tag, basically, linking the dialogue to a character, always use a comma not a full stop.

Secondly, keep all 'ly' words to a minimum as they slow down the flow of your writing. Too much description can make the narrative seem hard going. And finally, I found some of the narrative came across almost like stage directions. For example:

'I really enjoyed it, Cait.' Feeling serene and lightheaded. Without a speech tag this just sits on its own in the narrative and doesn't really work.

'I really enjoyed it, Cait,' she said, feeling serene and lightheaded or even 'I really enjoyed it, Cait. I feel quite serene and lightheaded,' she said work better.

These are just my thoughts so feel free to use or ignore them as you see fit. I really think you have the basics of a good story here so I hope you'll continue with it.

All the best
Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

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