Book Jacket

 

rank 221
word count 40537
date submitted 11.07.2012
date updated 17.04.2014
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Popular Culture, ...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Choices

Aba Bairéid

It’s the day after the day before. Hungover Leopold Murphy is in dire need of money. Should he trust a man named Hatchett?

 

This is Choice Number 1. The first of numerous decisions being made in Choices, a collection of eighteen original short stories – some serious in tone, some not so serious.

I’m presenting seven of these short stories for your consideration. So please tell me what you think. I value honesty.



 
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tags

modern, reflective, short stories

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101 comments

 

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E. M. Rideout wrote 25 days ago

CLF2 comment
Aba,
Your wit and style are beautifully manifested in your choice of words. The work is full of fresh and surprising imagery.
I have just one suggestion. Italics slow down the reading. Use italics only for foreign words, or for unspoken thoughts.
My choice is to put Choices on my watch list.
Best regards,
E.M. Rideout (The Rejected Grail)

C.Gallagher wrote 25 days ago



I just started reading. I think you have a James Joyce thing going on. I like the description of the hangover and the interaction between the characters, c

Sue Harries wrote 34 days ago

Well written, added to WL and rated highly, will back as soon as space on shelf. Sue ''It's a Dog's Life''

Mick Hemsworth wrote 60 days ago

I really enjoyed reading that.
It reminded me of John Collier.
Take a peep at my stuff when you get time.
I will read more of your work.
Best
Mick

tracy t wrote 80 days ago

Hi Aba
I have just read your first short story. I smiled during most of it, you're lyrical Irish voice coming shining through.
I am not normally a person who reads short stories as there are always so many questions that remain unanswered - by the glimpse into a moment in time. In this case I groaned at his set up because it was obvious and I wanted something weirdly wonderful to happen instead. Having said that, I understand a lot of short stories reflect the same arggh is to be obtained from readers and that in of itself is an achievement! So yes I waffle, what I want to say is that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, thought provoking and soaked with real life lessons, despite the fact I wanted a different ending!
I think I will have to come back next weekend and read some more :)
Backed and rated
Best of luck you deserve to be published
Tracy

Sam Barclay wrote 116 days ago

Hi Aba,

So you value honesty? Well, okay then... I read 'Generous Mr. Hatchett' and I really enjoyed it. It is ever so slightly overwritten in places but, other than that, it is fundamentally very well-written. What follows are just a few possible edits. Please disregard if they don't work for you. And, like I say, I really liked it.

Possible edits:

1) Didn't see the need for the block capitals. For example, around 'she screamed'... the choice of verb and the exclamation marks more than do the trick to express the drama. On that point, I suggest you stick to one exclamation mark at a time as opposed to two or three ( I'm not trying to be funny here, you just don't need more than one).

2) Instead of 'Rising reluctantly' how about showing this through a more precise choice of verb such as 'haul'?

3)Do you need 'I asked testily'?

4) 'disagreed disagreeably' is trying too hard as a writer if you know what I mean. I'd delete it.

5) 'My joy turned to suspicion...' shouldn't he be at least a little suspicious already...I mean, a money lender has appeared almost magically and offered him 10,000 euros without stating any conditions so either A) any conditions are likely to be unreasonable in some as yet unknown sense and/or B) he is probably working in tandem with Mrs. Humphries in some sense as she was telling him to pay within 24 hours or else he'd be evicted.

6) Do you need 'I had been set up' ...you'd have to be pretty thick not to realise this after reading the letter.

7)I'd consider ending this after the letter.

As I say, a very good read and I have given you five stars.

If you could return the favour and look at the first chapter to 'Dax' I'd be very grateful to you.

Cheers for now, Sam

Frank Talaber wrote 140 days ago

I'll add it to my watchlist and give you some feedback. Hope you do the same to one of mine.
sincerely
Frank

sensual elle wrote 144 days ago

Perhaps taking the road less travelled, I read chapters 3-5 (The Formula, Skin Deep, and The Painting). More than anything else, these stories deserve the tag of 'Literary' with a capital L. What makes the difference here is that these well-written stories don't have neatly packaged and bowed resolutions, no definitive dénouement, as it were.

Rather these are about character, scene, and imagination. Of these, my favourite is Skin Deep, the one with the most humour. I should add that all I read contained layers of quiet comedy, but Skin Deep is the most fun, albeit not as farcical as The Formula.

The writing is good and the editing exacting, although the dense, monolithic blocks of text need to be broken into proper paragraphs. In that regard, it's like counting down the minutes waiting for an operatic singer to take a breath. But that's a visual quibble compared to the overall opera of the stories.

The observation and description are outstanding, particularly the professor in The Formula. Similarly we can 'see' The Painting in our mind's eye, very well done. Overall, I most enjoyed the characterisation in Skin Deep, suggesting the author knows far too much about some women.

Delighted to back!

elle
Diary of a Bad Housewife

e.k.d. judd wrote 163 days ago

Hi Aba, pretty good stuff so far. I've read the first two stories and will try to read more soon. I think your writing could do with a bit more showing and less telling, but your work has a nice subtlety that I like. You build up to the strange events with a series of perfectly normal, even mundane, details -- it makes those twists that much more entertaining. Just a couple of nits: In the first paragraph of "Generous Mr. Hatchett," the last sentence is a little clunky. Perhaps you could try rewording it or breaking it into two sentences? It's the "who, as was her wont, was sneering" that might need a little smoothing out. And in the last paragraph of "Le Cirque...", I don't think spring should be capitalized. Other than that, nice job! Short stories are one my favorite genres, so I'll add you to my watchlist. -- e.k.d. judd (Unrelated Tales)

RJBrown wrote 165 days ago

Hi Aba,
I read the first short story. I will confess I am not one to read anything but a full bodied novel normally, however I had a spare half hour and your pitch grabbed me.

I really enjoy your writing style, Leopold is witty and cunning and I found myself smiling along as he tried to outfox the landlady with his varying versions of 'soon' - Very nicely done!

I find your writing style poetic, sentences such as the opening paragraph describing the 'ingredients of his window' This is the kind of writing that people analyse in school and I think you will do very well with this collection if all the rest of the stories are of the same calibre!

High stars, well done!

R
x

Yele Francis wrote 187 days ago

My advice is show don't tell
I didn't see much comedy which brought me here in the first place.

nenno wrote 194 days ago

You're having fun. Read the first one, second too long for me. Attention span of a gnat. Like most buyers.

ItzJannat wrote 198 days ago

I like the way you have written. The descriptions and dialogues are truly awesome.

Twistedbiscuits wrote 207 days ago

The first story is an interesting concept, I like how it has been done. This is just me, but I'd have liked a little more detail on why Mr Murphey's suspicions disappeared as easily. I mean, I'd go for the offer in a heartbeat but I'd still wonder what the catch was, even after being told there's no catch. Still, a good story!

I'm not sure how I feel about the second story. Intriguing, anyway but I'm not sure if it needs more to it or not. I'm not 100% sure on what's happened at the end.

CMWoods wrote 219 days ago

Hi Aba, I read first story and enjoyed it. Will continue to read as time allows. Choices seems very interesting and funny. Not the genre I usually read since I write science fiction/fantasy but I like it. It's on my shelf and feel free to read my book, Soulguard. I can use all of the opinions I can get.

J West Hardin wrote 247 days ago

Hi A...I'll gladly back your book if you can do the same in return. It might help us both advance

nautaV wrote 249 days ago

Hi Aba,
I consider Choices is a wonderful book. The title is great, because, as far as I can see, it reflects the main idea of the book. The plot itself isn't a new one in literature but it's really exiting and I like the new Pygmalion's philosophic POV. The read is very smooth and flawless.
I'd like just to pay your attention to a couple of ruptured sentences (formatting):
Ch.1
'Good evening , sir... very long.'
'The altercation left me...although one or two.'
Then, I'm not quite sure with the sentence:
"Yet, merely donating money... no matter how great my generosity.' ( '...no matter how great my generosity had been.'?)
Well done, Aba! High stars and backed.

Valentine But
Escape

Raymond Crane wrote 250 days ago

If I had the time, if I only had the time, I would read your work and comment, however I could only read the first paragraph and it was exquisite. A masterful exposition of whatever it is. However my current works on this site are published , I only leave them up for you to comment on. I would appreciate a comment on my novella - The Templar Mafia - Thanx !

Chris 1 wrote 259 days ago

I thoroughly enjoyed this - read the first two parts. Totally believable characters, well drawn, a very moral and, yes, POLITICAL story - as is the part 'FUTILITY' which, presumably, is set in some quasi-fascist Ireland.

The only flaw, really, is the appearance of Kevin. Poor Kevin, but let's be honest, he IS a dickhead and probably deserved the comments he got, not sure he deserved getting the beating he got. He could so easily have been put down in reasoned, logical argument that, I have no doubt Philip, as we have experienced his thoughts so far, is well capable of deploying. I think Kevin is set up unfairly. His arguments should have been taken apart to reveal him as he is - a stereotype, an embittered, failed Stalinist. I would have rather seen a more strident intellectual battle rather than fisticuffs. I thought it beneath Philip to beat the living shit out of his opponent.

Even myself, as a 'leftie', though I would have agreed with SOME of his comments, the bullish, unconsidered ways he put them across were unacceptable and jarring, he comes across, as someone rightly points out, as an 'anarchist' even so, Philip's use of violence did himself no justice. If Kevin was portraying himself as a 'communist' it would have been so easy to turn the tables on him quoting the many crimes of Stalin, Mao etc.

The irony is, of course, the Gama workers somebody mentions, WON their case for compensation as a result of organising themselves with the support of Joe Higgins MEP of the Socialist Party, Higgins only takes the MEP's salary of an average skilled worker, to his credit.

All this aside, I thought your work is excellent, enjoyable and intelligent. BACKED.

mapleyther wrote 259 days ago

I agree with the comment from katie78 about the title - something more descriptive would be better. On the other hand, I do like your cover and the picture of paths that looks (to me, at least) like a tree - I would put your name in big font though if I were you. I also like both the short pitch and the long pitch. I was surprised to find out at the end though that this is a short story collection. I am wondering if it might be better to flag that earlier and spread your words across 3 or 4 stories - you might give the impression that the other 17 stories are not worth describing! I will be coming back to read more of this..

M.P. Jones - Mason Wilson & The Dead Bird Debacle

katie78 wrote 270 days ago

the title is too generic but your pitch grabbed me. maybe 'something borrowed' would work as a title?

i was also drawn in by the voice of your narrator, unfortunately, the pace got slow for me after the interaction with the man who suggests selling him a bride. it starts to read: this happened, then this happened, i felt this way about it.... it feels like i'm getting a summary of events instead of being told a story.

you have a lot of really great stuff here and the concept is really interesting. i just want you to show how it all unfolds instead of just telling me what happened.

wording is off here "wondered what part she more than likely called home." why more than likely?

aside from the big chunks of dialogue in their first conversation, the other scenes flow naturally- proof that you CAN write scenes that are active and not just narrative summary. more, please!

robert j harrison wrote 274 days ago

There's possibly something intriguing going on here but it was lost in the lengthy descriptions and rather forced and dilatory narrative. But the skill of your wriing is evident. As someone else has picked out: "The chandeliers glittered in Morse code" is excellent. I'd definitely come back to this after a full edit. Maybe a re-think in how you convey the "voice" of the thing. At the mioment it reads as a kind of overdone Maugham
Robert

Hulu Mayya wrote 288 days ago

Beautiful writing, fine descriptions, characters well drawn. Well done.

Hulu Mayya
The Shade of the Warlord.

Sam Barclay wrote 311 days ago

I very enjoyable read indeed. Lots of excellent description and emotion among the characters for sure. Perhaps some might like a bit more dialogue just to break up some of the longer paragraphs (i.e chapter 4). I feel the longer pitch could be two paragraphs not one. But that is a very minor point I know. Which is credit to your excellent writing as I can't make any more substantial suggestions.

Lots of starts. Cheers, Sam (If you get a chance to make a comment about 'Dax' I'd really appreciate it.)

Patsy4 wrote 346 days ago

I've only read the first chapter. Although I agree with many of the comments here that your descriptions are wonderfully vivid, I felt I would like a little more action at the beginning.

katehyde wrote 365 days ago

Your prose is beautiful. You had me from the first paragraph. I'm also enjoying getting into Philip's head and following his tortured self-examination. Good work.

Bell52 wrote 392 days ago

I have only read one chapter so far but liked what i have read and look forward to reading more. Your plot is certainly intriguing and different, i have never read anything like it. Your style of writing is easy to follow and i felt lost in your world. High stars from me.
Michelle Read
Long Lost.

Leonard W wrote 415 days ago

I liked the opening to this very much - great sense of atmosphere and an intriguing concept. What I have read has been well executed and gripping. I've put you on my watchlist.

Elizabeth Kathleen wrote 416 days ago

Aba I've read your first chapter and wanted to compliment you. I feel you have a great skill in painting emotion and pictures with words. I can feel the emotions building between the two main characters and that is due to your skill in writing.
God bless you!!
Elizabeth Kathleen
"If Children are Cheaper by the Dozen, Can I Get a Discount on Six?"

InquireTheOrigin wrote 422 days ago

Good Evening,

Aba

So far I've only gotten the chance to read the first chapter of your story, but I must say that this is quite different. It reminds me of the book "Thirst" by Christopher Pike. I love your tale it's very in depth and it seem that you've took a lot of time to make it unique. This story in a way, seems as though it will trail off to be very sad. It's still very well done. I will be reading the rest of your story in the future.

Best Of Wishes
A.D. Reid
________________________________________________
I'm new to Authonomy, feel free to check out my story: Un Thai
Link: http://authonomy.com/books/50818/un-thai/
Thanks For The Support!

Narcissus wrote 430 days ago

Something Borrowed Part 2
Great writing continues in the second half of this short story. There is no need for any editing, it's that good. I have not read a lot on this site that can compare. It is ready to be on the shelf of every library. I only wish there was a "part three", as the reader becomes quickly caring about the two main characters, there is the desire, the need to see the relationship blossom in more detail. Ah well.... The beauty of poetry is that it can be read again and again!
There are many lovely lines in this piece. Here is just one I particularly enjoyed.

"She was like a magnificent figurehead carved from teak perched across the prow of a ship, surveying the vastness before her, responsible for the safety of every living soul behind, celestial, like a dream, yet also unbelievably real."

Really Great, Aba! Thanks for sharing your fine work here! You have a special talent. Keep at it!!!
J. H. F. White
Isles End

Narcissus wrote 434 days ago

Something Borrowed Part 1
Wow! What an excellent read! Like fine wine; eloquent, complex and thoughtful, provocative, stimulating...what else can I say? Intelligent! Almost flawless.... There does seem to be a lack of dialogue which slightly concerned me when it occurred to me, but the writing is so stellar that it carries the story just as it is.
My very first thought was, I would change the title. Maybe use, "Insights into Being Human"....? Surely there is something better than "Choices" especially for writing that is so impressive and clearly of a higher caliber than most here. I realize it is a collection of short stories, so understandably difficult to find a title that addresses this collection of stories. Something to think about....
Well, I just finished "Something Borrowed Part 1" and I am forced to immediately place it on my shelf with six stars. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Many of the lines are pure poetry...this is something rare and to be treasured!
A must read for anyone who appreciates great writing.
Will be reading and enjoying "Part 2" asap, and will comment accordingly. ;o)
~J. H. F. White

Antonius Metalogos wrote 435 days ago

Oh, God, how I love this! Enthralling to the end was chapter one. Oh, glorious writing, flawless and flowing and bubbling with genius! Most excellently done, Mr. Baireid! If you are not published soon then the world has lost all sense of what is fine and worthwhile and meant for greatness. Best wishes!

Anthony
What We Live For

Jaclyn Aurore wrote 442 days ago

great concept - love the intertwining of short stories, the questions the characters ask themselves, and the questions the readers are left asking as well.

the letter in the Night Circus chapter got to me the most... and the hanger at the end... I clicked the next chapter hoping to hear he was ok, forgetting so quickly that that was the end of a story and now we're on to the next... sigh... clever clever

well written overall - very interesting!

cheers for now
Jaclyn x
It Never Happened
My Life Without Me

mark01684 wrote 447 days ago

I enjoyed this greatly. The way you convey the conversation between the 'seller and Philip is a work of mastery that only a few could achieve. I think that you have one of the strongest voices, narratively speaking, on this site.
I almost don't feel qualified to critique your work. But I'll try.
What I liked.
The flow and the use of language. Your descriptions are very dramatic. The way you describe the chandelier showed real poetry. Inalso like the way the story built, with each paragraph. I found myself warming to Phillip as the story unfolded. His moral dilemma was wonderfully written.
What I didn't like.
Sorry to say, I agree with some of the comments that the italics aren't necessary. I also thought the chapter was a little long, but that's just my opinion.
Other than that, excellent work. Book shelving when space comes up. Six stars.
Mark01684

Chris 1 wrote 448 days ago

Hello Aba,

I only read 'Something Borrowed' and 'Futility'. I also leafed through 'Cirque Du Nuit'.

It's an excellent collection of stories from what I've seen. 'Something Borrowed' is extremely well-written, the narrator's voice has an eye for detail and took me around his and Amina's life together.

I enjoyed how Philip#s 'moral code' begins to unravel as guilty desire gets a grip on him, something he tries to bat off - nearly turning around before reaching the airport, the 'affliction' of desire something 'akin to Sodom and Gomorrah'.

It's a good portrayal of a man who appears successful in life, in business, in the practicalities of life ,yet who remains cold and detached. He 'buys' a wife as a genuinely altruistic gesture that then only reveals his secret desires of 'this impressive specimen of mankind'.

It seems Philip is still heavily under the influence of a deeply religious upbringing and is doing his best to stay within the bounds of his imposed beliefs given he has doubts about those beliefs. Seeing his 'wife' naked for the first time evokes the 'depravity of Hell - if it exists'. He feels an 'imposter in my own existence' as his resolve to remain within the charitable bounds he set himself begin to crumble with desire.

What finally tips him over the edge and makes his mind up is the confrontation with the leftwinger Kevin.

It's a brilliant set piece and Kevin makes valid points which Philip is forced to take up and defend himself, an argument between the political left and right.

My only criticism here is Kevin's behaviour during the argument. It felt a little cliched to have a 'firebrand' leftwinger shouting etc (yes, he even thumps the table). Why not allow him to remain subtle and restrained? I think Philip hitting him would then have made much more of an impact?

But an excellent read and it's on my shelf.

C W Bigelow wrote 454 days ago

Aba,
Intriguing - fairy tale style - just through the first section of story 1. Nice narrative style. As you know Backed.CW A Bad Night for Animals

Sophekles wrote 457 days ago

Aba,

I started with chapter 5, "The Formula", since I am a science fiction fan.

It is a really excellent short story which I greatly enjoyed from beginning to end. I paricularly like the way you introduce Professor Sweeny and subsequently describe his obsession with mathematics. The formula itself keeps the reader guessing and maintains suspense to the philosophical ending. Your writing is superb, especially the detailed descriptions which made me feel that I was actually experiencing the scene.

High stars from me.

Sophekles

emarie wrote 457 days ago

Nice storyline and pacing. Interesting and on my watch list. --emarie Jackson Jacob Henry Brown III

sticksandstones wrote 461 days ago

Hi Aba, I wasn't quite sure what to make of Choices as it probably wouldn't be my usual type of read (even though I do enjoy some Literary Fiction). I'd suggest listing a couple of other genres, just so people won't necessarily be put off by the 'Literary' tag.

I know some people have picked up on overlong paragraphs, but I'd say that's the norm for introspective, character driven story telling. Literary Fiction is far more about 'form' than it is about 'function.' I would, however, also suggest that you don't italicise your dialogue. Use italics for words that require extra emphasis, or which you'd like the reader to consider more carefully. Not for dialogue.

Starting with Something Borrowed - you have a sublime, fantastic description of the hotel lobby; in particular 'so lush it made you feel like you were walking on thickly packed raspberry snow.' Excellent! I also really like 'The chandeliers glittered in Morse code . . . ' There are a couple of places where you lose me to the lofty language, difficult word choices and general over wordiness.

That's more observation than criticism though, because I encountered the same problem whilst reading Alan Hollinghurst's The Line of Beauty and Jamie O'Neill's truly exceptional At Swim, Two Boys. I love your character's appraisal of the woman across the street, and how he eventually surmises that she can't possibly be a street worker, for reasons associated with Nigeria's prosperous capital. He's a little James Bond in that sense . . .

Aba, your writing is so polished (and I use this word a lot) it's hard to criticise or find any fault with your prose. This story reminds me very much of Dave Eggers' You Shall Know Our Velocity, albeit done in a very different way. You write in such an intriguing style, and with such an engaging tone of voice, that it's hard not to feel mesmerised by it.

The dialogue between our unnamed Narrator and his night-cap Imposter is an absolute pleasure to read. You had me with every word of their exchange. The questions he asks of himself (on the flight home) are all perfectly valid, and offer ample opportunity for any reader to draw their own conclusions. Is our mystery man morally grey, or are there more aspects to his personality we haven't been informed about yet?

My difficulty in reading on actually lies in identifying with your MC. He's clearly from a wealthy/privileged background and yet, once he gets home, it no longer presents him with any kind of 'real' meaning. I don't dispute there are people from high-flying backgrounds who give it all up due to a lack of personal contentment; it just feels a little forced in this instance. As though his new found conscience has crept up and tapped him on the shoulder without any introduction.

I've carried on reading, and once the 'new couple' are settled back in Dublin, the MC does seem to go on a bit of a rambling spree. It's all good, well written, highly readable etc etc, but there's a change in tone which I found a little jarring. Yes, Amina no doubt comes from an impoverished background, it just seems as though he's trying to give too much creedence to his new 'wife' and 'false' marriage. Almost as though he constantly has to convince himself it's the right thing.

You have such a lengthy part 1 that you might want to consider separating it into two separate parts. I can't really offer you any further criticism or helpful comments at this stage, as I'm no Literary expert. I'd be surprised, though, if you couldn't get this snapped up by an agent . . . To be perfectly honest, this style of writing has a tendency to make my head spin. It isn't for everyone, but it is very, very well written.

Ben - An Ordinary Sunday

Carrie Barrie wrote 462 days ago

Hi there! OK, I read chapter 7, because you listed it as the "Fantasy" story. It's a touching, endearing, and sort of haunting story. Gave me sort of a nostalgic/romantic feel.

that being said, there are some mechanical issues that need addressing. First of all, it needs WAY more paragraph breaks. The one para, where the man is telling the story behind the painting, was daunting even just to look at. Just seeing huge paragraphs like that makes me instantly NOT want to read further.

You have to give the reader a little moment to adjust, shift focus, take a little breath as it were.

Secondly, why do you italicize spoken word? The quote marks are sufficient. All those italics made my head hurt, haha! =D

I think maybe when you are giving the background on the painting, you could even break away, and do it as a sort of new scene where we are actually there watching the artist. I think I would rather be dropped into that scene and see the little girl for myself, than just have someone tell me the story.

Anyway, you are a gifted writer, to be sure. I never got bored with the story, and was enchanted with the little girl as much as the MC was. I like the ending to. That's how real life is. You don't always get the happy ending. This book has lots of potential. I think after it's complete and gone through a few revisions, it ill be outstanding!

Peace, and good luck!
Carrie
Letting Go

subra_2k123 wrote 463 days ago

Hi Aba,
I read some portion of your book and I do agree with the concerns of some of the readers that this book is not yet ready for publishing ( need directions, editing etc) That is my observation from what I read with my eyes. But you have a honest touching story which is genuine and like all genuine things(like raw diamonds), your book need refinement, that is what I felt deep inside.Just keep this book on this site, and follow any guidance by other writers ( most sour are the best) and ignore comments like( nice story, best I saw on this ...kind of comments, usually they do just get their TSR down).



Get to you sometime later

Venkatarama
'Ozoneraser'

David Blackdene wrote 463 days ago

Aba, i have just read chapters one and two and I am at a loss as to what to say....I fear there is little for you to learn on this site. Your writing is way beyond publishable....those two chapters were so well written, full of hidden values and morals. I honestly think that that particular short story could be developed into a beautiful love story...although it is quite perfect as it is. 6 stars, on my watchlist and waiting for bookshelf space! Eveything else has already been said below. Thank you for a thoroughly good read. David Blackdene DON'T LOOK BACK

patricia mc a wrote 464 days ago

Wow! I am glad I have kept Choices on my 'shelf.' Today I found time to read stories #7 and #8. Each word is placed so artfully and perfectly that I feel like I'm reading classic literature. After reading #7, my impulse was to stop and reflect for the story had gently led me on and on until it fell on me like an avalanche! What a talent you have. Since, I had a bit more time, I decided to read #8 even though #7 still haunted me--'Loneliness' was surrounding me and causing me to examine it from every angle. However, I am glad I read about Mr. Hatchett and Mr. Murphy. Early on, the reference to Kerry (my favorite county in Ireland) hooked me. Again, every word and phrase is placed with meticulousness and care. Murphy is one of the all-time great Irish characters. I can see him in a play at The Abbey holding the audience spell-bound. Wonderful stuff. You deserve to go to #1.

Ugo-Peter wrote 464 days ago

I wasn't going to say this, but damn! This is an excellent piece of literary fiction. I mean the plot, the dialogues, they show so much clarity. With your writing style, you have produced a great character driven plot and I'm looking forward to finishing the stories.

Seringapatam wrote 464 days ago

You really do have something here. depth of character springs to mind as well as being able to tell the story well. I have to agree with one comment about the length of paragraphs, not always but certainly in places. I can only see good things for this book as its worked on so I wish you all the luck in the world. I will be scoring this highly and cant wait to see the finished product sitting on a shelf in the book store.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Consider me for a read or watch List wont you? Happy New year.....Sean

Seringapatam wrote 464 days ago

You really do have something here. depth of character springs to mind as well as being able to tell the story well. I have to agree with one comment about the length of paragraphs, not always but certainly in places. I can only see good things for this book as its worked on so I wish you all the luck in the world. I will be scoring this highly and cant wait to see the finished product sitting on a shelf in the book store.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Consider me for a read or watch List wont you? Happy New year.....Sean

Thom wrote 465 days ago

Everyone here is - or at lest should be - in love with words. Few of us, however, are as good at using them as Aba Bairéid. Thus far, I've only read The Formula (because science fiction was my first love, and my deepest). In it, Aba tells us that the protagonist is a classical example of the absent-minded professor. Then he goes on to show us the cause of that absent-mindedness, by putting us inside Professor Sweeny's mind - by making us experience, as Sweeny does, his love affair with mathematics, and the way in which contemplation of a particular formula can literally take over his consciousness (not in some predatory way, but exactly as the task of writing can take over our own minds, to the exclusion of everything extraneous) to the exclusion of everything else.

This is very, very good writing, indeed. Six stars worth, for me.

Thom Stark
American Sulla - A Time of Trial

L.Lombard wrote 465 days ago

Something Borrowed: The writing is beautifully poetic. I loved "the chandeliers glittered in Morse code", and the depiction of self-doubt caused by the "gentleman" at the hotel lobby.
Although the discussion with Kevin at the dinner party was a little long- it made this reader see just how hard Philip (who I perceive as a poised and private fellow) needed to be pushed in order to reveal his feelings the way he did. What an adorable fool he is! So I think it's perfect and would not change a thing.
I'm giving it high stars and will be back soon to read some more.
L-
EBO

fictionguy8 wrote 465 days ago

Five stars and backed

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