THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Quick CWOG:
Just stopped by to read through the first chapter. This is a very well written tale. Your use of description sets the mood quite well right from the first sentence and really helps us in getting into the scene.
I'm quite interested to see where this is headed, as well as the previous story in these adventures (which means I'm going to have to go look up the other book you have mentioned.) I'll be back to read more as time permits, but for now, a spot on my watchlist and a bunch of stars.
I did notice one possible typo "a sweat-stained cotton shift"

Happy to see this book posted back to the Authonomy. It's a privilege to be able to read a great story like this one for free.
Read chapter 17 to 19. I see changes made since the last time I read chapter 17 and I welcome the change. It has become more comprehensive as the each episodes continues a bit longer than before. I look forward to read more over the holidays.

R

I LOVE THE PACE OF THIS BOOK AND AM TEMPTED TO READ MORE. I CANT AS I AM ONLY READING ENOUGH TO COMMENT ON THE BOOK. ITS A CRACKING READ AND I WISH YOU LUCK WITH THE SALES.
SEAN

Good stuff! Would like to see it all before I really comment.

Keith
Peppermint

Hi Graham, I'm annoyed. I nearly finished a really long comment on a word document and my computer shut down. So i'll start again straight in the comment box.
I haven't read 'The Girl from Kosovo' and thought this may inhibit my understanding. It didn't at all.
I got straight into the short but horrifying first chapter and it was definitely a page turner.
Your descriptions of coming down off herion were tremendous. Inside of describing the physical pain, so much, and concentrating on how crappy the building and the surrounding fixtures become was a really good angle.The girls' dialogue also reflects this.
I was expecting the girls to change their tune when the herion arrived. I'm so glad they didn't and I was overjoyed when they stuck together and killed Dimitri.
You have a sentence split after ...Arbeit Macht Frei
And what is a naughyde office chair? I didn't know if it was a typo or something I've never heard of.
I like the way you've split the two stories into chapters and look forward to how they come together later on.
I thought I should comment and tell you that I'm going to back this book on my next shuffle.
I will read on if you are going to take us to the end. There's nothing worse than getting right into a good book to be cut short. Otherwise I'll have to wait until July. I also have your other story to read.
All the best Graham, speak to you again soon.
Jesamine.

Just read up to chapter 17. Why not chapter 18, the last one uploaded? Because I'd be sorry if I finished it! It's really brilliant.
I have some comments though. As you've said, there are some overlaps. Chapter 15 has got two scenes that have more or less already come out before although I think a little overlapping of the Chinese girl frantically looking for a phone may work to remind reader of the last scene but personally, I prefer the ch 15 version of the old lady being a retired teacher who seems to want to be useful again than the previous version of her 'used to work with children and women'. However, I prefer the earlier version of Derek's thread (if it's the same, then having it earlier is what I prefer.) Anyway, before reading chapter 18, six stars for now!

Well Graham, you've done it again.
You've gone and made me lose sleep while I've read everything you posted.
Bastard :-)

While the first few chapters were more graphic than what I was able to read of TGFK, you still managed to keep it from crossing the line into voyeurism. I was horrified by the plight of the girls and their escape, but at the same time glad to see that their spirit had not entirely been crushed.

I enjoy your writing as well Graham. A combination of short clipped sentences skillfully employed to move the action, and slower almost lyrical passages with clever turns of phrase for those of us who appreciate such things ( and the opportunity it provides us to catch our breath). Many authors do one or the other well, but you do both without forcing or resorting to the dreaded 'purple prose'

This is a good follow up to TGFK, similar themes with new characters, but further developing the characters we grew to love in the first book.

I was reading this for pure enjoyment, so I didn't make up a long list of things I liked, or even a short list of things I didn't. If you would like me to take a closer look and offer some feedback offsite, just let me know. I doubt that I could help you improve it much, but I enjoyed it enough that I wouldn't mind taking another look.

Most of all, I'm glad I found a book to replace TGFK on my shelf. I'll be putting the butterfly there as soon as I can switch to my regular computer tomorrow. For some reason, my iPad doesn't let me back books.

At any rate Graham, best wishes with The Butterfly Effect.

Let me know if you decide to post more...

Bob

With the first chapter so strong that I had to sit down (again), take a breath back, and continue. Two stories roll on - one with a stunning pace, and the other in a more peaceful atmosphere. I've read now through chapter 8 and decided to take a break and comment on it.
This novel, although it is supposed to be the sequence of The Girl from Kosovo, comes in a different style, and I have a feeling that this one might be even better than the first. I am going to read all what you have uploaded. Graham, I see what you meant by the Girl from Kosovo and the other ones urging you to write more and more. You've got to be haunted to write like this!

Graham, I must be honest. I started to read this and I felt panicked. I can never read sequels without first finishing the first book. But this is very good and I will read all you have here! And I will give you my honest opinion! :)

It's on my shelf Graham and six stars!

Racheal

Hi Graham, I read chapter 6. As someone who has driven in snow in a land rover, I appreciated your story more than most. I also enjoyed your dialect language writing, although I do fear some will not understand and may switch off, and the bolt text distracting as I was reading the regular text, but if you feel its important to the story, its your creativity. That said it read very well, was easy to follow and I did enjoy it.

Kind Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks - Tide and Time: At The Rock
I wonder if you would consider return reading my book and adding some comments, Thanks.

Your writing is evolving. This book has a more professional narrative and seems to be worked out well. I will have to come back and read the rest, but for now, four and a half stars. Can I do that?

Hi Graham,

I started reading this and Authonomy is having technical difficulties and will not load Chapter 2. I'm pissed! I can't wait to read more. I love the frantic pace of Lena's story so far. Looking forward to reading more.

Kristen
Immortal Dilemma

Hi Graham,
I just dropped by to take a look at "The Girl From Kosovo" but as it was no longer up I have taken a look at the first couple of chapters of this.
I found the first chapter to be very well written and effectively bleak. You have a style that uses very short sentances which have real punch although I must admit that personally I find this style can get a little too sparse in detail and was therefore pleased to find that chapter 2 was a little more "wordy".
My only crit so far, other than a couple of typos (there was a gir rather than girl in chapter 2 and another missing letter a few lines down from that) is that in chapter 2 I felt that I was missing out on something by not having read The Girl From Kosovo. If this is a sequel then fair enough, the books should be read in order, but if you intend it to stand alone I personally would have liked a bit more background detail on who was who and how they all fit together.
Anyway, a more than competent start and nice to see a touch or Yorkshire in your writing. As I try to climb the ranks I am restricted to rating books based on their opening chapters so that I can at least try to keep up with owed reads. This has a great first chapter and solid second and if reading purely fit pleasure I would gladly have read more.
Best wishes,
James