Book Jacket

 

rank 5102
word count 17271
date submitted 03.08.2012
date updated 13.08.2012
genres: Literary Fiction, Fantasy
classification: moderate
complete

[I] Froxxe's Plummet

Kisora Thomas

Froxxe's Plummet is set a dystopian-fantasy world where magic runs as powerful as modern science. In Aeternum, the question of survival is raised.

 

The Consortium of the Gods is falling apart. The powers that were once balanced have been tipping into the hands of an ambitious God, one who seeks to unite the allegedly befouled system.
the first domino to fall in the siege of power is the Ambassador of Frost, one of the axis gods in the Consortium. Following his fall,without the support of his silent peers, this demigod devouring tyrant sought to enact the next part of plan to amass power.
The story begins as a god wakes from his deep slumber in the sea, without past memories or knowledge of the increasingly dystopian world he was thrust in.
Much has changed from when he was once living, and Froxxe must now understand the messages presented through his dreams to unlock his true identity, as well as the mystery behind stopping the tyrant god.
Froxxe rises from a sea of nothing to unite the unlikeliestof characters in his new world to to rise and challenge what lines bound mortality-- to understand how to empower oneself, and then, the world.

 
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tags

action, adventure, aeternum, avant-guard, dragons, drama, dystopian, dystopian fantasy, explosions, fantasy, global, gods, high fantasy, literature, m...

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4 comments

 

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Abby Vandiver wrote 617 days ago

This is a nice start. The writing is good. I think, however, that you should work on your pitch a little more to explain about your story. Your story seemed choppy, I think because of the use of too many modifiers and the attempt to make it vague (or poetic?) Instead, it makes it hard to follow. I read through Chapter Two, which is very long. I think you should make it into more chapters. I also think that you need more details in movements and sounds.

Debbie R wrote 621 days ago

Kisora

There is some wonderful prose in this. Your description of the boy's 'birth' from the ocean is written in a way that gives it a dream-like quality. You keep the pace nice and slow here which is very effective.

There is a backdrop of mystery - where has he come from? Who is he? Where is he?

I liked the description of Noir - she smelled of 'magic and spices and fire'

The pace picks up when they reach the city. Then the boy finds himself locked in a room 'Something wasn't right'
Like this cliffhanger here. Adds some tension to the story.

This has the makings of a very good fantasy story. There are times when the writing jars a little . But these didn't spoil the read for me and can be ironed out as you edit.

HIgh stars and wishing all the very best
Debbie
'Speedy McCready'

RMAWriteNow wrote 623 days ago

Hi Kisora; Back as promised to read book one, of which I am three chapters in. Stolen Memories read very much as a prologue and certainly held my interest. But then came Ascendance, a quiet beautifully written piece. The forming of the boy who would become Froxxe, with the descriptions of the tide and sea was quite wonderful. The text does require a little cleaning up and there is the odd bit of grammar to correct but the main writing itself is fantastic. This continued through to chapter three and the appearance of Noir, who as I said in my review of book two is a stand out character to me. She has a little of everything, attitude, grace and style. I am very impressed by your work so far and could easily see this transfered to something like an Anime as well as a book.
Well done and high stars.
RMA
The Snow Lily

SharlotteCaine wrote 624 days ago

This will be a short review, sorry. I have limited time at the moment due to an impending dinner.
I felt as if this story was very well written. Fantasy is one of my favourite genres and I felt drawn to your book due to the 'feel' of it and it being the kind of thing I imagine in my head - if that makes any sense.

A few pieces of 'concrit'.

unlikeliestof (typo in summary) - I think you mean 'unlikeliest of'

Also I found the font a little jarring due to its size and the random Chinese/Japanese symbols were slightly confusing.

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