Lunar Dance

Just finished reading the complete upload, Robert... In one word, ‘Outstanding’!
I have a suspicion that very soon, you’ll be required to remove it from the site as it’ll move on to bigger and better things.
Surely, when LUNAR DANCE hits the stands, I’ll be one of the first ones to buy it.

I’m really curious, how do you know so much about the aerospace industry, or for that matter what goes on in the power corridors of DC? Your extra-ordinary writing skills and the havoc that you’ve played with the dialogue are proof of your mastery over many other things as well, e.g. when Nicole and Dick put their charm on the ‘Senator’, or when Tom Armac lays out his plan in front of Congressman Daisy and Keith Barton, I actually felt like a mesmerised customer who could never realise when he got sold to the idea that was being fed to him. Or, the part where Tom negotiates the Enterprise – Atlantis issue with Marsha... absolutely brilliant! Tyler’s plans for raising funds... again, brilliant. Skilful characterisation is another strong point – every one of them, Tom, Marcus, Nicole, Robbie, Mike – each one is distinct and real. And then, there’s Doctor Carl Heinel – don’t want to say much about him, readers will have to discover that for themselves.

Sometime ago, you had sent me a beautiful preface. Why don’t you include that here? I’m sure readers would love to get a peek into the mind of a person who’s dished out something as lip-smackingly delicious as this. As a budding author, I seek to be inspired by the kind of research that you’ve done, i.e. only if you’re willing to share those details with me. If you are, then you can either message me here or send me an e- mail to the ID given on my profile page.

Best regards,
AGC

Lunar Dance is a novel for our time. Back in the late 1960’s the world was fascinated by the prospect of space travel, and the first chapter of the novel captures this spirit beautifully. Then we kind of cooled to the idea of it, and today most exploration is done more economically by robots, with private companies picking up any slack. One day private firms may take the lead role away from cash-strapped governments, and this is a central element of the book. Author Robert Sapp shows that this new future can be just as exciting as the adventures of the past.

The story itself is a bit of a caper and a bit of a thriller. We spend our time as readers rooting for the main characters, breathing heavily when things get tight, and then smiling as they find a way out of their current crisis and move headfirst into a new one. In fact, I think there is a perfect balance of plotting and action. Lunar Dance would make a great movie.

The characters seem quite real, and it’s obvious that Sapp knows his way around the aerospace industry. None of his characters are straw men. They all talk and act like engineers, astronauts, business entrepreneurs and people who generally are mavericks in their respective fields. They all have a confidence in their abilities and that is reflected in their actions and their dialog. There is also quite a bit of subtle humor sprinkled throughout the novel, not the least of which is the plot itself, which is both absurd and believable and at the same time.

In conclusion, I’ve read a lot of thrillers in my time, and this novel could easily stand among them. Lunar Dance has the complete checklist of what is required to capture a large and appreciative audience. Skewing perhaps a bit towards the older crowd, Lunar Dance should have little trouble finding commercial success and critical acclaim once published.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Robert you have created a tale that has all the necessary attributes. Into it you have injected; credibility, background knowledge, and the most important of all authority. As the previous (and I can't believe only) comment you have received states 'this is a delightful sci-fi novel'
I commend you in writing a 'page turner' I wish you luck in publishing this little masterpiece and will keep it on my shelf.

Already in the first two chapters you show a knowledge of the space program that I don't believe many authors could build with such confidence. Whether or not your detailed outlining of these events is accurate, you write with such bold confidence that the reader must believe it to be true.
That being said, I have a hard time believing you aren't intimately aware with the actual proceedings that are outlined in this text.
Your descriptions of emotions are deftly handled already in the first chapter. You can feel the intensity as the world awaits the first footfall on the moon. As a reader, I wanted to cheer as though it were happening for the first time.
I'm a big fan of what you're doing here and will most definitely have to come back to read more. For now, I'm placing you on my watchlist and giving a whole bunch o' stars. Great work!

I loved this! Havent read it all yet but its a seriously good book with an amazing idea behind it. Its incredibly well crafted and totally believable. This will surely get published. Six stars and WL. Bookshelf next shuffle.
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

This was very highly recommended by my dear friend AGC.

In this age of promotiion when quality often takes a backseat, its refreshing to come across such good reads.

Bose.

The early chapters of Lunar Dance capture the optimism of the space-age in the late sixties. The images described are so familiar to the reader that the story progresses rapidly. The characterisation is very strong and believeable. Lunar Dance progresses well into a thriller, the background info on NASA and technical issues with the space programme is also indictative of the author's extensive knbowledge.

Only glitch I picked up was Armstrong's quote - should be 'a small step for a man' - said to be a nervous mistake made by Armstrong when the intention was 'small step for man' (as often quoted).

Robert, Lunar dance is an impressive read. I've rated it highly and wish you every success. Best regards, Andrew Esposito / Killing Paradise

Wow! This is amazing writing. I know I'm supposed to be critiquing but I really couldn't find anything wrong with it. You seem to know an awful lot about NASA and how everything works there.

I watched the landing of the last space shuttle and felt despair. Now the shuttles are no more than museum pieces.

Anyways, I really enjoyed reading your book. I had intentions of only reading a little and coming back but I couldn't stop. Made it through four chapters and will most likely get to rest asap. I could see this being published no problem. It's wonderful. Best of luck.

-Julie Rainey
The Journey Home

Hi Robert,
This is a professional job. I read the first three chapters, and, so far, the overall story, its level of detail, and its tone are reminiscent of James Michener’s “Space.” Only “Lunar Dance” will progress into a science fiction novel, which makes it even more enticing.

Chapter 1:
Nice ending to Chapter 1, which makes a clever connection to the title, though for dramatic purposes I personally don’t believe you have to hit the reader over the head with the same “dance on the moon” line of dialogue twice.

Chapter 2:
Good, sound, technical details for audience who likes that semi-deep level of explanation.

I’m a little baffled about what year it is, since there is no in-chapter, explicit-enough reference to the passage of the approximately 30 years between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. You do provide clues (“tentative” end of NASA shuttle program and the ensuing reliance on Russian shuttles; the Home Depot reference, etc.). Someone who has followed the space program less than me might need more help from you via Chapter subheading or the exact year worked into the prose—I believe this comment is valid for the next chapter as well. Just a suggestion, and if you take another look at Michener’s “Space,” which I’m confident we’ve both read, you’ll see this bestselling author cleverly works in the year at the beginning of each chapter following each long passage of time.

Chapter 3:
You have a CHAPTER THREE heading, but none for the first two chapters.

Again, no clues as to how much time has passed since the previous chapter.

You switched personal perspectives/inner thoughts from Juan’s to Manuel’s after the first two or three paragraphs (without a chapter or other type of section break), which is a questionable narrative device.

More superb technical detail in this chapter—for example, the paragraph starting with “Inside the Dreamlifter’s avionics bay…”

“The closing speeds were low, but the masses involved were large.” Love it!

I may just read more of this—either on Authonomy soon, or when it appears in print, which I am sure it will.

Dean

Robert,

I've read your first three chapters. I think this is excellent. It has the feel of Michael Crichton. I'm sure you will place it soon and when I see it on a real life bookshelf there's a good chance I'll buy a copy! What more can I say?

Normally I like to add something constructive in my reviews but your work is well edited. However, there are a few points I noted and I've given them below. I hope they're helpful.

*reentry... re-entry?
*parachute... Drogue Chute?
*off ramp... off-ramp
*finagle? A new one on me...
*The statement "dooming the men and women aboard" is perhaps not quite enough for me - it needs more weight. Perhaps combine with the next bit (see next point)
*Your final statement at the end of chapter 3, blaming the whole thing on Theresa for not "keeping her legs together" strikes a British ear as deeply chauvenist to the point where most female readers would stop reading. I realise American culture is different and I also get the slightly joking angle but still, we don't know enough about the affair to make this statement stick. I vote to remove it, simply stating the consequences at the end of the previous paragraph, or, if you must mention the affair (which does provide some closure from the previous scene) describe it as "marital problems of an Engineer" or something similarly less controvercial...

I've given you high stars and will find a slot on my bookshelf for you at some point (long list of commitments just now but you will get a slot, I promise!)
Looking forward to your views on Horizons and if you like it I'd be honoured if you star/back it as you feel appropriate!

Regards,

Robert

well written piece; your dialogue compliments your narrative to move the plot along...
backed...
read SEASONS...

SF42 Review
A personal note - Thank you for a honest to goodness Science Fiction story and a very good one.
What more is there to say? Normally I review based on how I relate to the book and it relates to me. I don't get into the nit pick method. Others are much better than me and this book does not seem to need that approach anyway.
Getting into the story - the sci-fi story by developing the history from Neil Armstrong to the mournful retirement of the Shuttle Program is great. Your segue into the fiction part is so smooth I know there will be many who will not even see it.
I will definitely buy this book when it is published. I wish you swift success in getting it to that stage.

Paul Roberts
The Fourth Kind

Lunar Dance is a well-constructed story.
This will appeal to people who love the technical side of science fiction and for those keen to understand the aerospace industry at a nuts and bolts level.
The dialogue is very believable (a major hurdle to surpass once the book makes it to the Ed's desk) drawing the reader forward. I would however caution interrupting the conversation with too many descriptions. Sometimes a conversation just needs to happen by itself.
Altogether a great and easy read.
Well done and I hope it gets published.
ME Harrow
As Portents Rise (an Antarctic thriller)

SF42 review

As someone who has worked both as an engineer on large systems and at small tech start-ups, I had no problem at all buying into this.
I don’t see any need for an in depth critique. This felt like it is already edited and ready for publication.
I think the key to maintaining the reader’s credibility with a story like this, down at the level of sentences and paragraphs, is all about getting the dialogue right, and meshing it in with the incidental descriptions that go around it. Apart from one exception (see below) it was very believable. You also manage to mix in the technical aspects well, without making it feel like a text book, which is not always that easy, in my experience.

Elton Funk - ha ha, that wouldn’t be a reference to a certain person who is also in the electric car business would it?

The one and only bum note for me was the dialogue between the two Hispanic technicians. I live on the opposite side of the world, so am not qualified to comment on its authenticity - but this sort of dialogue is tricky, and it can feel awkward even if you get it right. (You might remember a similar dialogue in my one - I have serious doubts about whether that works too).
The mini-story in the chapter is a good one, so you definitely need to keep it, and the problem would matter less if it were deeper into the book. So I don’t know what you should do about it, I’ll just bring it up as something you ought to take another look at.

In summary, while you have got an interesting premise, what makes this work for me is the attention to detail and the thought that has gone into keeping the story moving along. (I have read up to chapter 9 so far.)
Well done and all the best for getting it published if that is what you intend.

Maurice

Just the kind of book I like to read.

This is superb stuff. The writing is excellant and flows nicely. The technical details and the jargon all sound authentic - did you actually work on the shuttle? Are you a steeley eyed missile man? This is proper science fiction and I'm hooked.
5 stars and backed.

J.Battle
And All Things Between
Land of Light and Shadow
Under a Crystal Sky

This is well-written and interesting. I read through a couple of chapters wanting to get to the Sci-fi part. I find it doesn't come until later. The read rely very real and I like the mix of history that leads to your story.

Good job.

Abby

{Lunar Dance} Chapter 1

Robert,

You have an extremely cool premise here and a well written work that has pulled me right in. What I loved about this first chapter was the opportunity to feel a part of that lunar landing, something I was not around to experience, and loved experiencing the emotion of. You set things up well here and give yourself great places that your work can go. I also already feel an attatchment to your characters, which is a nice plus, and find that you use just the right amount of description to get your point across.

I'll be back soon for more and am gladly giving you 6 out of 6 stars! You are also on my watchlist for now and as soon as one of the people on my bookshelf make the top 5, you'll move up and be backed, probably until you reach the desk because I'm am enjoying your work that much. I think your book definutely has what it takes to get there and I look forward to one day reading your HC review! I believe this to be a very publishable book as well!

Have a fantastic day!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity, Eden Legacy, Lazarus, Man, Hearts of Avon and Dusk Crescence

P.s. You'll find I read one chapter at a time and comment as I go. I'm looking forward to returning soon for more!

P.p.s. Care to take a look at any of my books and leave a comment? It would be greatly appreciated!

Hi,
Have already read up to chapter eight without noticing, a great read! Backing this book now. Good knowledge about the space industry, great characters and each page just keeps turning.
All the best,
Katy (Crater*)

Just finished reading the complete upload, Robert... In one word, ‘Outstanding’!
I have a suspicion that very soon, you’ll be required to remove it from the site as it’ll move on to bigger and better things.
Surely, when LUNAR DANCE hits the stands, I’ll be one of the first ones to buy it.

I’m really curious, how do you know so much about the aerospace industry, or for that matter what goes on in the power corridors of DC? Your extra-ordinary writing skills and the havoc that you’ve played with the dialogue are proof of your mastery over many other things as well, e.g. when Nicole and Dick put their charm on the ‘Senator’, or when Tom Armac lays out his plan in front of Congressman Daisy and Keith Barton, I actually felt like a mesmerised customer who could never realise when he got sold to the idea that was being fed to him. Or, the part where Tom negotiates the Enterprise – Atlantis issue with Marsha... absolutely brilliant! Tyler’s plans for raising funds... again, brilliant. Skilful characterisation is another strong point – every one of them, Tom, Marcus, Nicole, Robbie, Mike – each one is distinct and real. And then, there’s Doctor Carl Heinel – don’t want to say much about him, readers will have to discover that for themselves.

Sometime ago, you had sent me a beautiful preface. Why don’t you include that here? I’m sure readers would love to get a peek into the mind of a person who’s dished out something as lip-smackingly delicious as this. As a budding author, I seek to be inspired by the kind of research that you’ve done, i.e. only if you’re willing to share those details with me. If you are, then you can either message me here or send me an e- mail to the ID given on my profile page.

Best regards,
AGC

Dear Robert,

LUNAR DANCE will be going up on my shelf on the first of next month. Like another book (Transcendence by Jeff Herman), it will stay there regardless of the time it takes to make the editor's desk (and maybe, even after that.) A brilliantly crafted tale, the amount of research that you seem to have put into this complex drama is simply staggering. I’m on chapter 7 right now and can’t possibly think of touching another book till I’m done with this one. Have you read ‘The Orion Protocol’ by Gary Tigerman? Great story. Although, the plot had an extra-terrestrial angle and was perhaps more fact than fiction, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities in tone and treatment that it shares with your book. And, that makes me wonder – Under the inconspicuous garb of alternate reality, how much of this story is actually fiction? The one who took that giant leap for all of mankind is no more. May he find peace and may the world wake up once again to the wonders of space travel.

Best regards,
AGC

LUNAR DANCE
I had trouble downloading chapter 1 so began reading this with chapter 2. I like the thorough way you explain in the chapter why the space program is being shut down and how so many men who know little about other occupations will be unemployed shortly. Makes a good lead-in to the switch to one of them, in particular: Juan. The research you must have done to know all the details of space flight and how everything works shows on every page. Makes this read as if it’s inside exposé of everything that goes on with NASA. A good read, I’m starring this highly and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Lunar Dance is a novel for our time. Back in the late 1960’s the world was fascinated by the prospect of space travel, and the first chapter of the novel captures this spirit beautifully. Then we kind of cooled to the idea of it, and today most exploration is done more economically by robots, with private companies picking up any slack. One day private firms may take the lead role away from cash-strapped governments, and this is a central element of the book. Author Robert Sapp shows that this new future can be just as exciting as the adventures of the past.

The story itself is a bit of a caper and a bit of a thriller. We spend our time as readers rooting for the main characters, breathing heavily when things get tight, and then smiling as they find a way out of their current crisis and move headfirst into a new one. In fact, I think there is a perfect balance of plotting and action. Lunar Dance would make a great movie.

The characters seem quite real, and it’s obvious that Sapp knows his way around the aerospace industry. None of his characters are straw men. They all talk and act like engineers, astronauts, business entrepreneurs and people who generally are mavericks in their respective fields. They all have a confidence in their abilities and that is reflected in their actions and their dialog. There is also quite a bit of subtle humor sprinkled throughout the novel, not the least of which is the plot itself, which is both absurd and believable and at the same time.

In conclusion, I’ve read a lot of thrillers in my time, and this novel could easily stand among them. Lunar Dance has the complete checklist of what is required to capture a large and appreciative audience. Skewing perhaps a bit towards the older crowd, Lunar Dance should have little trouble finding commercial success and critical acclaim once published.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Robert you have created a tale that has all the necessary attributes. Into it you have injected; credibility, background knowledge, and the most important of all authority. As the previous (and I can't believe only) comment you have received states 'this is a delightful sci-fi novel'
I commend you in writing a 'page turner' I wish you luck in publishing this little masterpiece and will keep it on my shelf.

This is better than Michael Crichton! It has all the imaginative, creative, intelligent thought that author Crichton puts into his books plus humor. The irony is hilarious! and the writing is excellent!

Robert: the only suggestion I have for this delightful science fiction novel is that you put a glossary at the beginning. Chapters 2 and, especially, 3 confused me a bit about who and what belonged to NASA and who and what were private enterprises. I'd love to see a short of chart: one, NASA and one, private with all the key players and names of rockets on the chart - or, just a simple straight list glossary of all the names, companies, and rockets.

After chapter 3, the plot and characters became much easier to follow. Still, I loved your opening chapters, especially chapter 1 with Carl and Marta; their two sons, Alan and John; and the grandparents, Tom and Annalee, all watching the launch on television - fantastic imagery and opening chapter!

Chapter two continued the intrigue as bob Brock and Hon. Will Daisy, meeting at the Vehicle Assembly building talked of the closing down of NASA and discussed what would be done with the existing space modules.

Chapter three is where this reader became a bit confused about Apex Aerospace's Dreamlifter and it's purpose. However, the hilarious irony of this chapter was clear: Juan, jealous over Richard, leaves an unqualified Manuel in charge while Juan chases down Richard. This then results in the crash of Dreamlifter with six crew members dead. (If I understood this chapter correctly, Gennady and Eileen were monitoring Dreamlifter's use of NASA's launchpad but Gennady did not approve of it).

Beginning with chapter 4, the plot again comes into focus as Dr. Carl Heinel flys to spaceport to meet Mike Patrick and Luke Rungren of Roadrunner Rockets, a maverick aerospace firm. As your story continues, Carl convinces RRI, Marcus Short, and Tom Armac to consider a launch to the moon. This they would attempt to do by purchasing and using former Shuttlelab modules and the new RRI propulsion unit.

Well, I won't give away the whole story, but I really enjoyed the turn of events when Nicole, Marcus, Tyler, and Bruce agree on Tyler's idea to raise money through a multimedia and television reality show lottery picking "The Last Passenger." Delicious paradox of Juan, in the last chapter, again working on "Tinkerbell" and turning off the wrong breaker! Fabulous.

This is an outstanding science fiction with a captivating plot, great characters, natural and authentic dialogue, and dry, subtle humor that is absolutely hilarious. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your book and can see it as a future best seller. Highly rated, you have my wishes for publication for this one and hopes that you will write many more. I will buy them all :o) Pat Laster
http://www.authonomy.com/books/43509/break-free-/

I have completed the entire novel, and will be uploading the remaining chapters in the next few days. Enjoy!