Nancie

Angela,
You have an ear for the spoken word, your dialogue superb, forming the backbone of your tale. The descriptives in your narrative put me right there in the moment, followng Nancie around, seeing the boils on her young neck as she experienced a moment of freedom in the open meadow away from the confines of her little home where her father lay dead. This commentary of Victorian England has the makings of a must-read. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Hi again Angela.
This is a great story to get young readers to read about history in a way they can relate to rather than being told it. It will also teach them how lucky they are these days.
I felt so sorry for Nancie. The fact that everyone is calling her Nellie, shows deeply how she is losing her identity very quickly.
Something as simple as a carrot in the ground, not recognising it for being a carrot, clearly shows how alien this world she's been dumped into is for her.
The underlying mystery of the strange noises coming from one of the rooms keeps the story flowing in a direct with anticipation.
I didn't notice any typos. It's a well written and edited story.
Jesamine.
'Northampton, Lime and Time Alone.'

Hi Jennifer, thanks for your kind words. I have looked up 'fitted' and 'fit' and it looks as if you can use either word.

Wow, I really liked this! I planned to read just the first chapter and see how it was but I ended up reading everything you have posted. Try as I might, I couldn't find much of anything to fix. But I did find a couple of possible grammar issues. They are small, I admit, but I was hard pressed to find very much! So here goes:

1) "she that it would give her a hump back" I think you are missing the word 'said' "she said that it would give her a hump back"

2) "her old ones fitted" fit?

Well, that was all I could find!

- Jennifer James
* A Place For Hope

Wow, I really liked this! I planned to read just the first chapter and see how it was but I ended up reading everything you have posted. Try as I might, I couldn't find much of anything to fix. But I did find a couple of possible grammar issues. They are small, I admit, but I was hard pressed to find very much! So here goes:

1) "she that it would give her a hump back" I think you are missing the word 'said' "she said that it would give her a hump back"

2) "her old ones fitted" fit?

Well, that was all I could find!

- Jennifer James
* A Place For Hope

Hi Angie, You have another really good story here with 'Nanci'. I'm amazed. I wish I could read more, and really would love a copy if you are published. I love Charlotte Bronte's, 'Jane Eyre', and this book really reminds me of it, in style and in the emotional feeling I get from it, along with the Victorian setting. And yet the plot is unique. Your character, Nanci, is precious, a little girl, trying to figure things out, yet proud and not wanting anyone to think she doesn't know what she's doing, so keeps trying and getting it wrong. She seems a very relatable character, as most of us have felt the same. I think you take the time to develop all your characters, as I get a good sense of each of them very quickly. I do hope you upload more of this. I can't think of any help I can give you with this story, as it seems terrific the way it is. Six stars and future backing when I can. Kara