The Scandal At Bletchley

Jack

I enjoy this genre so I was inclined to scan ahead, flipping through the pages so-to-speak, and then went back to read the first chapter. If this was on sale, at B&N or Amazon as an ebook, I would have bought it there and then, which I suppose is as much praise as I can give.

You have captured the language of middle England, in those years, flawlessly. Incidentally, I watched the video and it's very faithful - all Received Pronunciation and reeking of the old British Pathé reels. Well done.

One thought - screenplay this... it's an amusing conceit and a slam dunk for PBS brit drama. Six Stars! but the best praise I can give is to say I'm planning to read this, as a novel, for my own selfish enjoyment.

I'll add additional comments then.

Simon

Let me just say thank you for being such a good writer with a wonderful imagination. What a wonderful premise for a book! You have great attention to detail without making it clumsy or cumbersome. You strike a good balance between dialogue and action. Nice use of humor as well.
Quite a delightful read and discovery on this site.
I'm brand new to this site and have found a lot of writing that wouldn't survive the eye of a Middle School teacher.
You prove that there is good writing to be found, it just takes a lot of searching. Hmmm....maybe that's the way book editors and agents feel.

This is huge fun, and one of the most publishable books I've read on this site. Cross-dressing Sir Hilary (what a marvellous creation!) is invited to a 20th anniversary bash of a hush-hush government spy operation and boredly gets mixed up in a murder whodunnit that is the talk of in-between-wars England. The dialogue, characterisation and narrative are all spot-on for the period, and the tongue-in-cheek humour more than worthy of a contemporary-to-the-time Wodehouse. As for the MC's "voice", you'll have to see the accompanying vid link (on the bio page) to see how easily this great book could be turned into a great mini-series on TV. Think Mrs Marple goes to Downton Abbey...but "she's" a bloke and a knight of the realm!

Six stars, and waiting for a shelf

Joe Kovacs
He ain't Heavy, He's my Buddha

I was astonished to find such a well-written story on this web-site. I hope you go shopping for a publisher and not waste too much time among all the fantasy devotes who know so little about English language. Your evocation of the time and place is perfect. And your clever ending leaves plenty of room for further activities of Mr./Mrs. Bland.
Cheers - b

Superlative fun all the way. What sets this book apart is its unique and engaging voice, which struck me right from the start and held me for the rest of the book. I also enjoyed the varied cast of colorful characters and suspects, and Sir Hilary's impressions of them. Not to get too serious about what is a very humorous tale,but it's something an exploration of morality through observation of characters and events from the pov of a woman posing as a man, who therefore sees things from an unusual angle. There's an aloofness and perhaps amoral qualtiy to her character that I like a lot. In a whodunit, we always want to find out who is guilty and who is innocent, and that is partly what held my interest. But even as I was wondering who killed who, I felt that everybody is partly innocent and partly guilty.

Overall, a very enjoyable book, among the best I've read on authonomy.

The premise of this book is quite bonkers, but what an enjoyable read. I've read five chapters so far and will come back and check out some more in the future. The period voice and ambiance is well done and the characters are wonderfully OTT. The style puts in in mind of Mark Gatiss. I agree with previous reviewers who said that it should be dramatized. Great fun.

I really enjoyed reading this, Jack. Excellent narrative. I have absolutely no crit for you - I just simply ate it up. I have my reader's hat on and she loved it!

Sam

Intelligent, honed, authoritative, peripheral. Right up my alley. I'll be reading this to the end asap.

This is a most original and entertaining premise for a book. As others have said it is extremely difficult for a man (presumably!) to write as a woman living as a man, but the author has been successful at that. In that regard, it reminds me a little of the film Victor,Victoria, where Julie Andrews plays a woman living as a man and performing as a female impersonator.

Everyone has been so positive about this so I shall, as usual, put in my grammar police two penn'orth. Not many faults to find with the preface and first chapter, which is all I had read so far.

In the Preface, the paragraph which begins: No, if I don't put pen ..." works perfectly well, but I wonder rather if, in context, it was not meant to be "So, if I ..."

Chapter One was actually rather marred for me by my least favourite grammatical clanger of all, talking about his wife "who was sat opposite me." I feel sure Sir Hilary, peer of the realm, would have more correctly said, or even thought, "who was sitting opposite me". A shame, that one, as up to that point the voice had been about perfect for the era and the social background.

However, it will stay on my wishlist and I shall come back and dip into it more as time allows as I do love a good intrigue and this has all the makings of a good one.

Best of luck with it.

Sell the Pig
Tottie Limejuice

Spiffing!!

I would certainly buy this book on the basis of what I've read (Prologue and Chapters 1 and 2). In fact, I'd have bought it on the basis of the Prologue alone!

I like history with a twist and I love OTT narrators with bags of charisma, like Flashman, Julian Rathbone's A Very English Agent and Bertie Wooster. This narrative seems to sit squarely in that line of succession, and I really like it.

I'm definitely going to read the rest and I wish you loads of luck with it. Six sparkling stars from me.

Caroline

Hi Jack, I'm new here but my friend Joe says you have a cracker of a book. Will be putting it on my shelf shortly, for now six stars ~ Mister Webb (Phil)

This book has a lot to offer, and having thoroughly enjoyed a good proportion of its contents, it's on my shelf. I loved the pitch, first of all. It succinctly gives a clear account of the plot. It titillates with tiny details of character and conflict. Inside, the writing doesn't disappoint. There is a lot of humour, including some iconoclastic touches and good choice of names.

Little details so informed the times and mores ('he put the finishing touches to my bow-tie'). The dialogue and pace were very well managed, such as the interchanges between Hilary and Harry about the diamonds and Lottie.

If reviewing is a chore, read this and enjoy yourself. It hardly needs your backing as it's already on its way to the Editor's desk. I look forward to a stunning review from that quarter.

Rosalind Minett

A RELATIVE INVASION

Sometimes you'll come across a piece of writing that stands out from the crowd - and this is it. It is written in a sardonic, precise style with not one wasted adjective or sentiment and you know from Chapter One that you are in for a hell of a ride based on the ridiculous premise of HMB being everything you don't expect! Eliza Manningham-Buller eat your heart out!. I too flipped through some chapters just to see if the pace slackened or the early chapters flattered to decieve - but it is all good stuff and I suspect, destined to reach the bookstalls before long.
New authors note!
Ed Marriott 'Sucker Punch'

End of first chapter - really good and looking forward to reading the rest. Quirky idea and (so far) well written. It romps along delightfully.

Marvelous! It's as simple as that! Sprinkling you with many stars!
Sara

I've read 2 chapters and must say I was hooked right from the start, awoman playing a man married to another woman. Quite the twist, but so very well written. You build up suspense with Harry and the French francs.
I small typo perhaps. The first paragraph in Ch 2 Great Storm of 1871, however, and I ....I don't believe the and fits.
So very well done. I given this high stars and hope to get back and read more of this intriguing story.
MC
Exposed

Jack,
This is a really fun read and I have put it forward for comment by our reading group. Just to let you know a couple of us have already read what you posted and love it. Great work. Best of luck.
Paul

Amusing, as ex RAF [1946 to 56] Bletchley attracts me,Hoping that the end of your story is as fascinating as the point I am up to.

Jack,
This is a great read and a real find.

Cross dressing heroin / hero, murder, intrigue and a brief case with a gun in it. What else do you need?

All the stars and backed.

I have been dipping in and out of this book all day, and have now joined authonomy to give my support. It's an excellent book. Well done!

I have read a little more than half of "The Scandal at Bletchley" and I'm mesmerized. I think I would have read it in one or two sittings if it was in a book, but in this format, I have to stop myself every three or four chapters because my eyes start to hurt a tiny bit. A real page-turner. When it's published, I will be recommending it to all my friends who like mysteries.

This, by the way, is the first Authonomy manuscript I've read. A very good omen!

Tony

This reads very well. It's entertaining and intriguing. I can see why it has drawn so much praise. It is well written and evocative of its time. There should be a definite market for this and I wish you well in finding a publisher. Should you find the time I'd appreciate your thoughts on Pushkin's Maestro - Ellie Alexander

A good read and an intriguing one. I can see why this is doing so well and wish you well in finding a publisher. There's good characterisation and a solid plot. I haven't had a chance to read it all but I think this should definitely find a market. Should you find time to Read Puskin's Maestro I would appreciate your thoughts. Ellie Alexander

A good read and an intriguing one. I can see why this is doing so well and wish you well in finding a publisher. There's good characterisation and a solid plot. I haven't had a chance to read it all but I think this should definitely find a market. Should you find time to Read Puskin's Maestro I would appreciate your thoughts. Ellie Alexander

Ch 26 excellent...that's all that needs be said.

Delightful story to this point, full of twists and turns, like able, deep characters, very polished and professional. I hope others join in to support this right up to the number one spot.

Ch 10 whoa boy! As us American westerners like to say. What a chapter.....

Ch 9 The author is a male writing a story about a woman functioning and living as a man. I've tried to find a flaw, to discover if he has failed to understand the female qualities of his character, and have decided so far, he's been successful. I think that is important. It's terribly hard to write the main character as he has. I've got to say well done.

Ch 8 The author manages his scenes so well the reader can't help but feel they taking part. Subtlety is the master stroke so far in the telling of this tale, it's neither forced or restrained too much.

The characters are are also well defined and drawn. Excellent read so far.

Ch 7 Methinks that the mystery has been exposed rather craftily in this chapter. Excellent tension and interest although I abhor the thot of a person sending an unwanted child to an orphanage. Tut tut! The historical attributes of the story are well developed without over doing it. The reader is immediately in the scene. Once again, I don't think the reader can be disappointed.

Ch 5 (4) Each character is distinctly written and the chapter has a light touch so that the reader is not bogged down with details. Slightly amusing as well. The writing continues to be evenly well-written and polished.

Ch 4 (3) I'm not sure why a woman would live as a man and perhaps that will reveal itself as the story goes on. All I can say is that I hope the story is drawn out a bit because each chapter has been delightfully written.

Ch 3 (2) There it is again 'knees up'. I still don't know what it means. My curiousity has been tweaked and I must read on. I think other readers would have to agree that the writing is well done and I'd find it surprising if the story could be put down at this stage.

Ch 2 (1) Really 'brilliant' chapter as you Brits like to say. The introduction of the charaters is flawlessly smooth. I like the way the little mystery is developing.

Ch 2 (1) Really 'brilliant' chapter as you Brits like to say. The introduction of the charaters is flawlessly smooth. I like the way the little mystery is developing.

Ch 1 Absolutely love the beginning! A few references I didn't understand given that I am American: 'boffins' and 'departmental knees-up' are two examples. But I should say there is such a subtle historical flavor to this chapter those little things can easily be ignored. Nicely done intro.

I have almost finished reading "The Scandal at Bletchley" and will be very sorry to put it down. I have loved every character, every scene and every twist in this original plot. The book is a study of English pomposity and eccentricity and the humour is sheer music. The author effortlessly points out all that was (and in some cases still is) ridiculous about "The Establishment", allowing the reader to laugh at the expense of those who take themselves far too seriously. This is a "must-read" for fans of P.G.Wodehouse, John Le Carr and Enid Blyton. I have awarded a constellation of stars and backed this wonderful book.
Yours Bea

Jack,

I've read up to chapter three here and am truly impressed with this book. Excellently written, flows nicely, creative, well-thought out and just really a great storyline. What a wonderfully creative idea with your character Sir Hilary. Wish I had thought her up! I didn't know if I would be interested in this book or not but I am. It was a true delight to read and will be continuing on here with it. HIGH STARS from me and someday when I have the room will be on my shelf. Thanks for sharing this one!

-Lyn
Forty-Four Footprints Following Me

Well written and authentic. Oh, i have so many books now I will never have enough time to read them all - but this one will go high on the list when it is published- if it has not been already. You write well and confidently, and capture the voice of the period brilliantly. there is very little i can say in way of criticism. Did I say very little? I got that wrong - there is nothing I can contribute which will improve on this. Well done!

I've backed you while still reading, so will comment later. It was just that I am enjoying it so much.

This is the first story that I've read on this site that immediately pulled me in and made me want to keep reading. You've done a wonderful job with the language and keeping the dialogue flowing.

The only thing I saw was in chapter 2 on the third page where you are talking about Dorothy lacking sparkle, you said, "her conversation, however, was a dull as the proverbial ditch water." And I think you meant to put "as" instead of "a". But otherwise a very enjoyable and intriguing read! This deserves to be published.

Chandler

This is the first story that I've read on this site that immediately pulled me in and made me want to keep reading. You've done a wonderful job with the language and keeping the dialogue flowing.

The only thing I saw was in chapter 2 on the third page where you are talking about Dorothy lacking sparkle, you said, "her conversation, however, was a dull as the proverbial ditch water." And I think you meant to put "as" instead of "a". But otherwise a very enjoyable and intriguing read! This deserves to be published.

Chandler

My very first choice here and what a tour de force. This has everything a reader could want in a story, and oodles of class too. I would buy this in a twinkling based only on your pitch, a real art which most seem not to have mastered here.

This is the first time ever on this site that a pitch did everything I needed, hooked me right in, and what's more, came in at well under the maximum word count. I'd say that's a job very well done. This does sound thrilling and humorous both, in a tasty historical setting, and I like the main ingredients you've pulled together.

OK, I'll admit I wanted to hear about just one or two more of the other characters here, in a mere phrase or so, or perhaps just a hint of whether we are dealing with a cast-list of five or twenty or what. In short, what is the basic configuration of main and secondary characters? Is it just these two and everybody else is way in the backgroound? I sense a little more pulling-in potential here, that's all.

Still, this is not a big point, because mainly I am very happy to hear about a woman pretending to be a man all her life. That's just fabulous. Plus, if that's only the beginning of all the secrets in store, this is even more promising. It's starting to sound like a cooler, wittier take on an Agatha Christie sort of set-up, which is quite attractive.

I like very much the langauge and style of this. The historical period rings right, and there's wit and elegance and maybe Noel Coward in the soundtrack of the hypothetical film this could be.

Tiny point - somehow I wish you hadn't mentioned the "abortive field trip" only to say you didn't have time to tell that story here. Please omit that. Either tell me stories or don't, please? This one is so very cool, as it is.

In any case, this is truly a perfect first chapter, and I'd be delighted to read the entire thing. If only I didn't pay for the internet by the minute! You have a gem of a style and a cracker of an idea. I'm happy to back this, on just what I've read thus far, and I don't often do that.

best wishes from
Eleen Kay
The Noodle Trail

Hi Jack
I have an interest in all that went on at Bletchley and am always ready for a good thriller. I'm five chapters in and hooked, The writing is excellent and the story has already impressed me enough to add it to my bookshelf and rate it highly. I will, of course, read on...
Best wishes
Geoff

I am having much fun with this Jack. Thank you for my smiling.

What a find. Packed full of wit and charm. Although we badgers don’t normally indulge in cross dressing or code breaking it warms my heart to read other having such fun doing so.

I’m only a coupe of chapters in but had no doubt it deserves backing and high stars – all the stars in fact.

I'm up to Chapter 3 and will read more. If P. G. Wodehouse had written a murder mystery about a cross dressing spy, it might have come out like this. Keep up the good work!

Matt

Interesting novel, particularly if one reads up on the literature, such as Leo Marks' Between Silk and Cyanide. Back to reading…

This is a brilliant read. Witty, clever and intelligent. It’s a great period in our history and to see it ‘sent up’ in such a way is refreshingly reverent.
6 stars from me and backing all the way.

Fascinating premise! Had me intrigued from the get go and it didn't disappoint when I dove in. The writing takes you into the peroid and draws you in, and I love the little character quirks and descriptions. I absolutely love the humour too! Brilliant read so far.

Jack:
Extremely well written. You handle the first person POV without missing a beat. Your story is very well crafted. It keeps the attention awfully well. I read four chapters. The only issue I can think of is that you don't reveal the reason for Sir Hillary's transgender disguise. Perhaps you do later on, but that would be a bit late for my taste. In any case, your story should do very well. Congratulations! Six stars and a place on my WL.
I’d appreciate a return read with stars and comment. If you judge my book worthy, a place on your WL, even better a place on your shelf.
Best Wishes
Daniel
The Makers

Jack, It says much for your writing that I read the whole story with great pleasure as I have never read, nor even, seen an Agatha Christie as I've always had a knee-jerk judgement of them being cosy and contrived. Your offering has just the correct amount of tongue-in-cheek and twists-and-turns to make the setting-up of the characters in a homogenous, sealed entity, enjoyable rather than cliched.
It is certainly publishable if you can get past the (unfair)prejudice of it being a genre clone and if, like the rest of us, you can negotiate the vagaries of publishers offices.
Good luck, David Jordan

Excellent premise, well researched, and detailed writing. This deserves to be looked at by the editor.

HIGH STARS AND BACKED!

-Trenor
If you get a chance, you are cordially invited to check out THE LORDS OF INVENTION