Preventable Death

You have passion about your topic, which is a very, very important thing to have. However you write the novel moer like a news article than a story, and that's where you're losing people. Weave your tale more intricately; add more emotion, more drive. As a person who has taken up arms against suicide herself, I am right behind you.

ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!

Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.

You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.

Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection.

One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:

Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.

Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.

Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)

Wow! This is extremely powerful stuff, and although I am in total ignorance of the statistics, it all makes sense. The goal that we should all strive to attain is not Feminism, or a return to misogyny , but the realisation that men and women both have equally valid roles in our society and should be working together. Good luck in getting your message out. I am shelving this. Straussy

Hi Phil
This is a powerfully written book about an important subject. On authonomy I usually operate in terms of 'can I say anything that might be useful to this writer?' You don't need any help with writing, you clearly know what you're doing and are a professional. I can't suggest anything about the subject matter either. It is well known that men handle issues such as depression less well than women do. That's probably always been the case. I'm not sure it's the fault of feminism that women are now more empowered to get what they need. I do agree with you that men need more empowerment to get the support they clearly need. I'd also agree that men are being failed by 'the system', 'the experts', whatever else. So, what's your proposed solution and how can you get it out there?

I'm not certain that your approach of 'outside the establishment and non-feminist' is quite the right tack. And I apologise if my quick summary of your position offends you – I was just looking for a shorthand. What you need to do is get into the establishment, the traditional media, the national consciousness. The book is one way of doing that, but not if you shoot yourself in the foot by immediately offending all the people whose minds you need to change. Of course to do that you'd have to tone down some of your righteous passion, which is one of your strengths. But successful influencing doesn't start with upsetting the people you need to negotiate with. Your writing has an overtone of 'feminism is bad' when a more successful approach might be: feminism was good – it succeeded. Now we need equality. It's just an idea. You are far better informed about the situation, and Irish culture than I am to know whether it's a daft one.

I don't think you should change this book. And I am going to shelve it on here because it is well written and that's what authonomy is about – good writing. I do think you should move on to a strategy of how to get your ideas heard and the problem exposed and tackled, from a positive, humanist viewpoint. Good luck.

Just a couple of 'proofing' type things. Is there something up with the punctuation in chapter two after 'misinterpret his quiet smile'? You don't need the repetition of the Drs names & opinions in chapter three. Same for the repetition of 'it needs a famous suicide' in the start of chapter four. And you need to make it clear who Garry is to Cait, Mary and John – it's a little confused. 'They picked me up on in the village…' – not sure which word you don't need, but it's one of them.

K

Phil, I've just read through what you have uploaded. It's very well written, but perhaps you have a particular angle. I used to take calls from the UK suicidal, through the wee hours of the morning. By far the majority of the callers (not suicides) were women. Therein lies the problem. Men aren't inclined to discuss their feelings, whether they are merely upset or desperately suicidal. It's not a modern society trend - it was the same in the 50s and 60s. Women would get into the most terrible scrapes but somehow they usually found a way to stay alive. It was mostly men to be found with their heads in the oven. On the other hand, I have witnessed (in the voluntary sector) the dispassionate ending of Samaritans calls from male callers because they used a swear word, because they had been drinking, or simply because the call had extended beyond 15 minutes. It is known that women are chemically protected from suicidal feelings during pregnancy - my suggestion is that women have a certain level of protection 'all the year round'. Just physiological. By the way, if you want some irreverent accounts of hillwalking in Scotland, you could do worse than 'Non-stick Hillwalking'. Good luck in the Old Firm Game.

I've read the excerpt, and there is so much to say about this. My first thought is that in the States, when the PC crowd 'took over' large parts of academia, the problem wasn't feminism per se but a much wider spectrum of different manifestations of political correctness: a kind of intellectual fascism that began to percolate through the whole culture. The ramifications of this are still being felt. For example (you're going to love this one!) a few years ago at Pomona College (a fancy university here in Southern California) a visiting female psychology professor's car was spray-painted with anti-Semitic slurs and misogynist hate speech. It later transpired that witnesses had seen the professor HERSELF vandalizing her OWN CAR. There was a terrible brouhaha over this; indeed there's been backlash after backlash against the chill of political correctness, but it's with us still, for sure. And part of it is this weird 'feminism' that really shouldn't be called that at all, because it doesn't seek equality for women, but rather, the *elevation* of women over men. Or, some kind of revenge against men. But there are also feminists who seek equality for all (not just for women ha ha) and many of them call themselves feminists, too. So with the way you've structured your book, it's like you're tarring all feminists with the same brush, so that it weakens your argument, or kind of mis-focuses it.

The other problem with calling this 'feminism' alone I think is that all the other -isms are left out; the -ism that says this or that minority group has needs to be seen to first. Not just women but every small group you can think of. And this I think is the problem, in the States at least, that we lost the focus on equality, which everyone ought to have been fighting for for ALL people, and instead it came down to trying to get *more* for this or that group.

Who gets the shaft, then? Young white males, especially young white males with few prospects.

But at least there's a fight on. There have been some powerful books written against political correctness, my favorite I think being Robert Hughes's 'The Culture of Complaint' which I strongly, strongly recommend to you.

I will shelf this because I think you're onto something. But again, it will be much stronger if you can define your terms VERY clearly, more so than they are now. All the best, Maria.

p.s. for many years now whenever anyone has asked me, are you a feminist? I have always replied no, I'm a humanist--!!

Phil, I got about halfway through chapter 4 and then had to stop, because I wanted to say something.

Well done.

I won't comment on your writing - you're a pro, after all, so it would be inappropriate of me to do so. I will comment on your theme and its treatment. First of all, 'establishments' come and go, and it takes guts and grit to raise a voice against their domineering ideologies. Secondly, I'm inclined to agree with you. I have a media background. I was proud of working for the BBC. Then it became a citadel of feminism, which at first I thought was not a bad thing. I was wrong.

You write about tragedy (the chapter with the mountain rescue team was most illuminating, but also extremely poignant), and a tragedy which seems to be largely avoidable. The conclusions you draw are controversial, but then, the truth is often the last thing people want to hear. It's certainly a point worth considering and debating. Society has changed. There are new victims. Some commit suicide; others suffer in different ways. Like all the best journalists (how many of them are there, I wonder) you are drawn to illuminate the victims' plight and to pose the difficult questions. I admire and respect that, and I am happy to lend my vote to the cause in the form of an enthusiastic backing.

Well written, clear, pacy, a nice blend of description and argument, the appropriate level of moral outrage and a book about people. I support this wholeheartedly.

Simon

So far, this is very interesting and I will shelf it. I grew up in Ireland and at that time feminism was not a defining ethos - very far from it. I will read on before commenting further; but this is definitely a subject which needs exploring.

Thanks for reading what is uploaded here and for the feedback.
I will not be uploading any more chapters of the book.
The book is available from Amazon.com

So far, this is very interesting and I will shelf it. I grew up in Ireland and at that time feminism was not a defining ethos - very far from it. I will read on before commenting further; but this is definitely a subject which needs exploring.

Phil, I am a peace officer in California, and have personally witnessed more than five young men who commited suicide. There is nothing more horrible. I have seen murders and drug overdoses, but nothing compares to the open-eyed stare of a young man who has hanged himself. This is an important book. It is now on my shelf.

This is an important subject and I applaud you for writing about it and bringing to the attention of the general public. I live in Australia and it's a major problem out here two. Keep up the great work.

I just read your final chapter (5), and again - a tough subject treated in a thoughtful manner. I hope that in our lifetime we will see the balance of men's and women's equality will be just that - balanced. Good luck with the good fight. You have a very accessible narrative style and I hope to see more writing from you in the future.

Phil, I just read all four chapters in one sitting. You've taken two very difficult subjects - suicide and politics - and combined them in a very thought-provoking way. I can see why this book is selling well, and I look forward to seeing other pieces by you.

Thanks for the feedback.
The formal reviews when published were-in the main-very positive.

I have uploaded the final chapter to this site-I will not be uploading any more.
Regards
Phil

Phil, I just read all four chapters in one sitting. You've taken two very difficult subjects - suicide and politics - and combined them in a very thought-provoking way. I can see why this book is selling well, and I look forward to seeing other pieces by you.

This book deals with an important subject, and I look forward to reading more as it is uploaded.

Thanks
I may upload another couple of chapters, but as the book is available for sale I wont-for obvious reasons be putting alll of it up on here:0)

This book deals with an important subject, and I look forward to reading more as it is uploaded.

Well-written and a very worthy subject. You put forward interesting theories on post-feminism. Although I do not always agree, I think the book is worthy a place on my shelf. One hack supporting another.
Anli