Saving Detroit

John DeSimone

Judy North has to save her brilliant scientist boyfriend from his own lack of imagination.

Judy North is in love with a genius, Chance Delaney Detroit. He’s a young Caltech engineer who has invented a new kind of fuel cell he has dubbed the JUDY cell in devotion to his beautiful girlfriend. Chance Detroit believes the JUDY cell is the answer to Ford Motor’s profit problems. In a daring demonstration he works to convince the company’s honchos, which includes a skeptical Henry Ford III of the JUDY cell’s ability to revolutionize the automotive industry. After Judy and her boyfriend return triumphantly to LA from the demo in the Motor City, Chance mysteriously disappears.

Judy is compelled to search for him. Though she is an intelligent young woman, she is naïve regarding the economic complexity of oil production and consumption. She soon realizes she is caught in the middle of forces far larger than she ever imagined existed. All she wants is Chance Detroit’s safe return. But to accomplish that, she must understand and outsmart the enemies arrayed against his quest to change the way cars are fueled. Will Judy find her boyfriend in time? Will she save Detroit? The book is complete at 114,000 words

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tags

caltech, comedy, commercial fiction, detroit, electric cars, fiction, ford motor company, fuel cell, fuel efficiency, gasoline price conspiracy, hedge...

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6 comments

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Wilma1 wrote 1143 days ago

Had a good read and decided you have made a good job of this. Nice charachterisation and a steady pitch. Wish you luck with it .
Knowing Liam Riley
Wilma1

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Kidd1 wrote 1162 days ago

On my watchlist...sounds fun.

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MLowry wrote 1535 days ago

I'm watch listing this to come back to it when I'm done with another book I'm reading! Look's really interesting!

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TheresaMC wrote 1569 days ago

I'm definitely going to watchlist this and check it out when I get a chance! Gotta love fuel cells and disappearances!

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Keefieboy wrote 1570 days ago

An interesting premise. I'll watchlist it and read more later.

Some nitpicking:
champaign -> champagne
...just plan...just the two... -> one 'just' too many
...careful whom... -> who
...hundreds times -> hundreds of times

Good luck!

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Lexi wrote 1570 days ago

A topical subject for a thriller, feeding on all those stories of amazing inventions that were strangled at birth for the greater profit of big business. I like the idea of a scientist whose ability perhaps makes him a worse boyfriend. I didn’t quite get a feel for what Detroit was like, and as we were in Judy’s POV this made me feel she did not know him well either.

Interesting first chapter. One can see both why Judy has stuck with Detroit for four years, and why she is a little dissatisfied. Detroit’s invention is so amazing I think Judy would talk about it more; not the incomprehensible science, but its implications.

In chapter two her doubts are gone – one bunch of flowers and he’s such a romantic. Hmm. Huh; why is Judy friendly with the dreadful Cindy? I wasn’t sure why Judy was working for Detroit that week, when she has a job and the people he works for presumably have secretaries.

I’ll flip this on my shelf to get it heading in the right direction.

[Nitpicky points: it may not matter if this is for the American market, but over here the IRA is a terrorist organization. ‘Forcing a brave smile’ – do you need ‘brave’? Word echo: just. You mention twice that Judy has black hair, ditto black dress. I work with metal, and I wanted to know how the letters JUDY were made on the side of the box – done in felt pen, or cast? How permanent? Would anyone say ‘It’s potable’? ‘Son’s and daughter’s’ – unnecessary apostrophes. ‘Complement’ – should be ‘compliment’.]

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