Book Jacket

 

rank 2089
word count 57958
date submitted 02.02.2009
date updated 14.02.2009
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Religious...
classification: universal
complete

Atlantis

Kevin Ronchetto

Atlantis has been discovered. This is a story that will take you on an aventure you could not possibly imagine! The real truth of Atlantis.

 

A team comprised of scientists and representatives from countries and interests from the global community has formed. Together, led by Dr. Saivioure, they embark on a journey of a lifetime and ultimately of life itself! Though briefed on the journey to Atlantis, none of them could have predicted what lay ahead of them.

After a dangerous trip through the ocean, a volcanic crater, and "the Maze," they finally lay eyes on the city. Unknown to them, the danger was just beginning. Dr. Savioure had been there before. What did he know? Who was he? And what was he not telling them?

The team entered the central building of Atlantis. A magnificent fountain fell upon itself and bubbled down its' many tiers.
The team beagan translating symbols and pictographs immediately. One by one, the riddles are unlocked, revealing more mysteries. Soon breakthhroughs are made and the mysteries of Atlantis are solved.

But time is running out. As they unlock the final clue they enter into a game of good versus evil with the stakes being the people of Earth. The destiny of the team is clear. They now know what they have to do. What they must do.

 
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tags

adventure, atlantis, cities, city, computers, cross, crosses, disks, drama, earth, easy, evil, fantasy, fiction, fun, galaxies, galaxy, god, good, isl...

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3 comments

 

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Jupiter Echoes wrote 1259 days ago

Look at 175 billion.... that sentence makes no sense with the double 'showing'.

You've got the makings of something here, though what, one cannot decide until you tighten up your writen.

It was cinematic, interesting, and, i must say your imagination and characterisation is great. I will back you for these points, because, with a tad bit more care, you have talent.

BACKED

Betty K wrote 1263 days ago

This looks like a fascinating read but you really must separate all your dialogue from your narrative. The dialogue of each person speaking must be in a separate paragraph such as:

With that the lights came back on.

"Now, don't forget to pick up your informational packet on your way out this evening," reminded Savioure.

The Disk had made its' way back to the front.....etc.

I wonder if you should redo it properly just in case some agent looks in here and likes it. Don't delete what you have. Just edit each section separately.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

Janet Marie wrote 1548 days ago

Hi Kevin. Intriguing! The synopsis and cover page are outstanding. You have a strong opening and present awakening concepts. It would be less strenuous on the eyes for reading if you separated dialogue from narrative. Your ideas are well thought out and fully expressed. The second chapter could be tighter, only include narrative and descriptions that are critical to the story. The third chapter is a nice twist by changing the atmosphere to the ocean. Great Job. Good luck. Janet Marie

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