Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 56858
date submitted 22.05.2008
date updated 16.04.2014
genres: Fiction, Historical Fiction
classification: moderate
incomplete

The Fortune of Annacara

Kay Christine Fenton

A servant girl and a soldier chase the dream of a fortune in gold, in a time of pioneering grit and sheer, glittering greed.

 

Annacara is an Apache servant, given fanciful dreams through piano lessons by an officer’s lady at a fort in 1896. Her obsessive love for Cavalryman Larne sees her following him, through Los Angeles where she longs to stay, to San Francisco’s Chinatown.

A steamboat full of men caked in gold arrives from the mighty Yukon's Klondike, and Larne seizes the chance. That rip-roaring hell of a stampede, and a goldmine, test their courage and love when faced by those whose sole aim in life is to dance on the grave of anyone more blessed. Annacara's warrior instincts are inflamed to devastating effect. A man lies dead, a child kidnapped, the gold gone, and Larne lost.

Searching for answers back in Chinatown, the 1906 earthquake forces Annacara and a troupe of showgirls to trek down the Camino Real mission trail to Los Angeles.

The keys to the child and to Larne are found there, as Hollywood’s notoriety grows.

And the gold? When Annacara performs with the famed Chautauqua-circuit players for a political convention in 1920, Franklin Delano Roosevelt asks her what happened to all that gold. Her answer is simple.

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Kevin Bergeron wrote 539 days ago

Dear Kay,

I wish there was more here to read, as Anna and Lance head off down the river to find their fortune, their share of God’s mother lode seen in the Northern Lights. I’ve got a feeling that, as far as actually finding literal gold, they’re chasing an illusion. Yet the hostile environment of the Yukon may be more hospitable to them than any alternative, and they may be strong and resourceful enough to thrive in it. Now that they are married in both Apache and Christian ceremonies, we might look forward to their starting a family. I’m thinking about the scene in the last chapter, with the Gypsy violins playing outside the tent. Very romantic, and beautifully written. I hesitate to point out any one particular scene, because there are so many good ones, a mother lode of shining nuggets. I wish I had taken more notes, and since I can’t have the full text in front of me, I’ll have to rely mostly on memory.

Up to about ch. 10 is somewhat fuzzy in my memory. As I remember, you established the relationship between two very good, realistic, believable, and sympathetic characters. I particularly like Anna’s reactions when she confronts things she hasn’t seen before, and that long knife she carries, the way she instinctively reaches for it when threatened. The characters of the soldiers and their wives, and also the members of Anna’s family, are portrayed with skill, all very well researched and believable. They are for the most part likable people, but we see their prejudices displayed in subtle ways. As much as I enjoyed reading this story throughout, I have an unclear sense that something is impinging on the story in these early chapters. There are a lot of characters, and I couldn’t keep them all straight. Also, there was a lot of coming and going, and I didn’t have a clear picture of the settings, including the fort and its various living quarters, and Anna’s family home. There were a number of small things that confused me. For instance, I didn’t know whether Anna was going to travel with Lance to visit his parents, or if she was going to stay behind. Rather than reread, I just kept on reading until they set off on their trip. I had to keep going back and rereading things. Perhaps I wanted more sense of where the story was headed, that I didn’t feel it building as much thrust as I wanted, or not enough focus. I’d have to read the first nine chapters again to know for sure, and it may well be that if I read them again, I’d come away with an entirely different impression.

There certainly was enough in the early chapters to engage and hold my interest. Anna’s appealing character, and your talent for description, backed with well researched historical details, carried me along. But then, when Anna and Lance arrived in Los Angeles, I was swept away. The people and scenes they encountered between Los Angeles and the Yukon(?) River are fascinating, especially when seen through Anna’s eyes. She hasn’t seen any of these things before, and her speculative interpretations, her joy and her trepidation, all makes for wonderful reading. I loved the description of the fiesta in LA with its crowd of Mexicans whom Anna feared might be enemies of the Apace, the colors and sounds, the Irishman who ran the café, and the waitress. Then there was the luxury boat trip where they met the showgirls, whom I think from reading your pitch they may meet up with again. Also, I think we have not seen the last of the politician’s family, who perhaps will have a score to settle with Lance. I really don’t think he should have punched the guy. I suppose he was defending Anna’s honor, but I thought Lance was too much of a hothead.

The people and places are so colorful and vibrant, just as Anna sees them. Their room in San Francisco’s Chinatown, above the opium den, mysterious and grungy, yet so homey, is memorable. I hated to see them leave that apartment. If not for the gold rush, they might have stayed a while in the company of Lady Yanmei and MuWu the cat.

The Yukon and Alaskan gold rush was a fascinating historical event, and there’s just so much that could be told about it, but you had to be selective. You captured a good bit of the frenzy, squalor, danger, agony, hope, courage and cowardice, and some of the characters who either died, went crazy, turned back, or persevered.

It was unclear to me what was going on with the Golden Stairs. I’ve seen pictures of the long line of pack-laden people trudging up in the snow, but I it took me a while to figure out what the deal was with the Mounties and why everybody had to go up and down carrying other peoples’ stuff. How far is it they have to climb? How many feet distance and altitude gain? Are they neat steps carved into the ice, and are they the size of regular steps? I wanted a clearer picture, to understand it better. Also, I didn’t understand why everybody was so mad at the guy who shot the bear. All I can think of is that maybe there’s some frontier code that says you’re not supposed to shoot a bear when it’s hibernating, or maybe everybody had already eaten so many fish from when the preacher shot the hole in the ice, and they weren’t hungry for bear meat. Nobody’d had any problem when Anna shot the poor moose. It just didn’t seem fair to me. I’m glad the bear recovered, though.

Anna’s baptism was a fun scene with the preacher shooting a hole in the ice, though I suspect that might not quite work with one bullet against four feet of ice. I’ve done some shooting and also some ice fishing, and I’m skeptical. I’ve never combined the two, so I don’t know for sure, and I want to believe it, because of the characters and the way you’ve written it. Lovely scene. Normally I don't care too much for preachers, but I liked that guy.

So much to like here, and I could go on, but the bottom line is, once I got into the story I couldn’t put it down. I’m left wanting to read on to find out what happens next, and I’m wishing the best for Lance and Anna. Your writing skills are top notch, and you have an affinity for characters and scenes, such that I sense you really like people and places. My best wishes to you and also your story. I’d like to read more, and hope to see it in its published form. I think it might make a good movie.

Kevin



Joshua Jacobs wrote 864 days ago

While it's rare I open a piece of historical fiction, I found this to be a well-told, polished story. The writing is phenomenal and without fault. The prose carries the reader along and is never far from Annacara's thoughts, giving us a good sense of who she is early, which is no easy task considering the separation in time and culture. The tension between Lance and Annacara as he watches her is written perfectly, and her thoughts thereafter are genuine and well thought out.

When we shift to Lance's perspective in chapter two, the transition is smooth, and I actually found myself excited to see the conflicting perspectives come into play. A white soldier and a Native American woman placed into close quarters? A possible romance? The possibilities with a story like this are endless. I can't wait to see where this takes us.

Usually I take notes as I read, but I was too caught up in your beautiful writing and the well-weaved story to stop and write anything down. Besides, I didn't find a single thing I would change. This is an outstanding book.

Dianna Lanser wrote 908 days ago

Kaychristina,

I’m finally made it back to revisit Annacara. I was once again swept away into southwest America in the fast changing late nineteenth century where mixed marriages were not quickly accepted. It is authors like you, who make history so very interesting and relevant. Annacara’s story is like dream that I can’t help fear may turn into something less than that.

The first paragraph in chapter nine only serves to build the anxiety in me. You wrote so beautifully, “To Annacara, her own country was becoming a stranger to her, just as she felt she was becoming a stranger to her people.” Then the face to face meeting with the yellow-faced woman seems to widen the chasm and accentuate the changes taking place within Annacara.

I was so relieved when Annacara was finally free from the threatening presence of Nathan Star and the Mexicali whiskey men. When she reached the safety of Fort Hauchuca where her husband was assigned, I was hoping to see a more emotional and joyful reunion. I wanted to see how strong their love for one another was.

But now here they are together at last, traveling to San Francisco. On the way, we experience a lively Mexican fiesta and dance to the tune of a Mexican hat dance. The scene you portray is like a sense-around movie. Amazing. I wish I could give Annacara six more stars. But I’ll keep it on my shelf to the top! I’ll be back to read more.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Stark Silvercoin wrote 1339 days ago

There are two types of historical fiction. There is the type that simply takes a setting, say The American Civil War, and crafts a tale set in that era. Something like The Guns of the South would be an example. While sometimes enjoyable, a better type is one where vivid characters are painted out, given real life and then brought through actual historical events. Love in the Time of Cholera is an example. This requires a lot of research by the author, almost as much as when penning a non-fiction story. It’s clear that author KC Fenton has taken the latter approach with Waystation to Prosperity Street, and I couldn’t stop reading it.

The character of Annacarra isn’t a cardboard cutout. She’s a real girl with real concerns, and we as readers can’t help but follow her along and root for her. The dialog is exact and true to period, and the events that Annacarra and the other characters face are real and true. Held up to the light, you would be hard pressed not to believe that Waystation to Prosperity Street is a true story, which makes it a masterpiece of historical fiction.

Of all the novels I've read on Authonomy, and I've gone over many, many of them, Waystation to Prosperity Street is the most deserving for consideration by the desk editors. When published, it will be successful and treat its readers to an engaging story. It could even become a literary classic. It's that good.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Bill B. wrote 74 days ago

Congratulation for reaching the ED and good luck with the review. Well deserved!

Kestrelraptorial wrote 87 days ago

Hi Kay,


Blackrosidhe suggested I read "Annacara", and I love it. The first chapter establishes so much: Annacara, a young Apache servant, struggles to hold on to her identity as Mrs. Carman controls her every move with the slap of a saber. She and Larne catch each other's eyes, and cannot get the other out of their minds. To Larne, she is a painting all too real. He right away asks her to dance, though servants usually cannot.

I was surprised when Annacara attacked Estrella with a knife. When Riordan asked Annacara to war dance on the piano, I really thought she would. I guiltily admit I'd have liked to have seen that . . .

The suppression of Native Americans, yet the ways they hold onto their culture, especially in their legends, and the cultures of the time, are all amazingly woven into the character stories. I love legends, and have recently become very interested in historical fiction. Although the chapters are a bit long, I enjoyed this story very much.

Blackrosidhe wrote 107 days ago

Hi there Kay,


I just finished reading "Annacara"! It's a wonderful love story, and I didn't expect the romance to begin so soon. Annacara, a young Apache servant, struggles to hold on to a silver of her own identity while being controlled by her 'masters', and especially by Mrs. Carman's saber. Yet when Larne appears, the two are instantly drawn together, and he is ready to defy the rules of the army to be with her. This leaves so many openings for adventure.

I really like Annacara's stories as they travel. The legends of the ancient warriors and golden cities. I'm impressed that you crafted this story as an imagination of your ancestors' lives. I too wish more of their stories were still with us.

Emily Lives wrote 108 days ago

Go, KC, go! This will be your month, dear.
Love,
Lil' Em

Nigel Fields wrote 108 days ago

I am eager to get this book in print. Wishing you all the best!
John

Shiloh Yazdani wrote 112 days ago

Very well written. You have a gift for writing and are able to write a story that makes your characters come alive. They jump off the page. Again, well written!
Shiloh
Courage Through Faith

NuclearCarrot wrote 120 days ago

Cowboys and Indians. I enjoyed the first chapters. would pay to watch this in a cinema.

soutexmex wrote 124 days ago

A little bump to help ya out for January's ranking. Good luck. Cheers! JC

Steve Clark wrote 137 days ago

Excellent writing. Catches the spirit of the southwest. Two chapters in and I want to continue to follow Annacara and Larne. Fenton has a talent for putting the reader in the middle of the scene. I want more and am happy to back this book.

blonde appeal wrote 142 days ago

needs work but i think it has good potential

sensual elle wrote 146 days ago

While loaded with colourful characters, the intricate plot makes this story. Backed!

Izmir49 wrote 149 days ago

Hi i have been reading your book. Your job must be a good starting point for writing a book. It is a genre that i dont tend to read but this is what is great about this site, you get to try a bit of everything! I like the way you write, you are concise and almost economical with words. You dont over state anything and i like that style. I read a comment that said your writing is very visual and i agree with that. I could picture your characters and the surroundings. Thank you for sharing it and all the best with it. Lucy s (Reconstruction)

Emily Lives wrote 154 days ago

KC,
I read chapters 10 and 11 today and thoroughly enjoyed them. Cheering you on to the finish.
Em

Bamboo Promise wrote 155 days ago

I read a few chapters only but I know this is a good book. I highly recommended.-Bamboo Promise

Otter wrote 165 days ago

Acres of Diamonds.

Three chapters is all I could fit in for now and that is unfortunate, I would easily read many many more.

I like the way the story switches from the train back to Annacara's (lovely enticing name) life at the fort. Two journeys sitting side by side.

Great historical fiction requires strong, interesting and well developed characters to guide us through a period in history. In Larne and Annacarra, you seem to have acheived that. The despiction of the fort, life within it, the landscape and the other characters seems accurate, lively and easy to picture.

I do not know what lies ahead for these erstwhile lovers, no doubt racial bigotry will deal some cruel hands and many adventures will take the reader on a journey.

Your writing is visually superb, easy to read and flows in a manner that does not interrupt the readers enjoyment.

Quality work deserves high stars and shelf space. For now I give high stars. I hope I will be able to provide the shelf space this deserves.

Well Done.

Norman Morrow
The Con-Quest of Father Brennan.

Lara wrote 179 days ago

Another boost, hoping that this engaging novel can reach the desk next months. High stars.
Rosalind Minett
A RELATIVE INVASION
SPEECHLESS

Sheena Macleod wrote 185 days ago

Reread following edits. The fortunes of Annacara continues to improve with every polish- gleaming and flawless in its pace and depths. Every word draws the reader deeper into Annacara and Larnes world.

High starred already and no wonder.
Shelved and high starred.

Sheena

jennifer rushton wrote 196 days ago

As a reader, I thoroughly enjoyed your novel. So much depth to your characters and scenes, that I could easily visualise it as I read. Seamless and heartfelt. This is a good book.

Jen

threepenny wrote 205 days ago

Kay,

Congratulations on this excellent first chapter. The authority and precision of your historical details pull me quickly into the fictive dream, and hold me there.

Here are some general observations, in case they're helpful to you in getting a sense of how your work reads to someone with fresh eyes. First, the detail and precise choreography of your scenes (such as the drama on the train platform) forces the reader to slow down and savor the line. I'm a detail-lover in my own writing, as you noticed in Room 100, so I appreciated your care with language. If I have any suggestions here, I'd say watch out for inserting subordinate clauses in the middle of sentences; usually it's fine, but ones like this one can be smoothed out: ". . . an elder's two-string, painted agave violin, and, he said, made it sing." It could be simplified to read, ". . . an elder's two-string agave violin. He said she made it sing," or whatever. This is just minor line-editing stuff, though.

I am only passingly familiar with the Western genre, but your command of the time period seems flawless. Beyond the quality of your writing and authoritative details, I found myself growing more and more interested in the nuances of status in this time and place. As Larne is speaking with Judd (which is an effective world-building scene, by the way), I got the sense that out here on the frontier, even the smallest differences in status matter: beyond the crude division of white versus Indian, there is then enlisted versus officer, laborer versus gentleman, colonel's wife versus captain's wife, etc. You keep track of Judd's shifting perception of Larne well; the business card is a turning point. Also, I like your images--the malevolent orange cat, the piano tutor with a saber.

I note all this just an an example of why I end up feeling so comfortable in your narrative hands. In short, the writing works on a number of levels, and I would very gladly read on. In fact I do hope to return and read more; right now, I have a lot of Authonomy karma to repay and I want to get through some more first chapters :) I'm adding this one to my WL and will be filling up my shelf in a few weeks--THE FORTUNE OF ANNACARA is a really promising manuscript.

Best,
Sarah Cypher

Shiloh Yazdani wrote 207 days ago

You have written an interesting and insightful novel. It has a thorough and well thought-out storyline. The characters are deep and well-written.
You've done a nice job!
Shiloh
"Courage Through Faith"

Sue Harries wrote 209 days ago

I love this book, it is so very well written. Rated highly and added to WL, will back as soon as space. Sue ''It's a Dog's Life''

Lara wrote 215 days ago

A really captivating read. The strong start, the strong MC, gave confidence that the novel would remain a totally satisfying read. I had to stop after 7, but didnT want to! In the brutality of the Mexican camp, Annacara bests an aggressor and saves herself from the fate of the captive women. How long will it take for her to resolve all problems to be with Larne happily? I particularly liked the cultural descriptions and insights. Recommended.
Rosalind Minett
A RELATIVE INVASION

t23please wrote 218 days ago

Hi

Your story reads really well. Its a strong idea that should appeal to a lot of people. As a Brit its interesting to read about California from a historical perspective. I've added the novel to my bookshelf and I hope it does really well.

All the best

Tim - The Latter Day Church of Tiny Tim

JennyWren wrote 242 days ago

Quite simply, Acres of Diamonds ranks among the best stories I have read – and I am a voracious reader and read many bestsellers. I love this story – and this review cannot do justice to the writer’s powerful and remarkable style as she introduces the main characters from the very first page. They are strong, interesting and very human; the conflicts and realities of that era keep the pace of the novel moving forward. Even minor characters are well developed. There is gentle humor, emotional turmoil and deep life lessons carefully presented for the reader to contemplate.

Kay Christine has an authentic voice, bringing back history, and the American Indian culture for those of us who haven’t experienced it. There is so much in the story from details of battles, government policies to legends, religious beliefs, medicines, food and the heritage of various groups.

This is one of the most outstanding books I have been privileged to read. Kay is a skilled writer and draws her readers into the book immediately. The story has been painstakingly researched and told in a humble and eloquent voice.

Well done Kay. High stars.

P Clifford Mills wrote 243 days ago

Very well done. Usually, with an unfamiliar writer, I start fast and keep up the pace - unless the prose demands an attentive read. This story soon slowed me down. It's so involving. I loved the period effects, details piled upon detail. The dialogue crackles along too, full of energy.

Chinatown, gold rush, earthquake, Hollywood! So much still to come. I read just six chapters at my first sitting, but congratulations on a strong start to an ambitious novel. It's old fashioned in the best possible sense, deserving to be made into an epic historical movie of the likes of Giant, Gone with the Wind, Spartacus - its adventures all tied together by the enduring, obstacle-strewn love of the two main characters.

P Clifford Mills
"Working Men"

Kate Steele wrote 260 days ago

I have been reading Chapter 10 and love the way you depict the cinco de mayo celebrations. Some lively descriptions and I particularly like the one of the hat dance. Perhaps search for another word for strumming - for variety?
Re culinary terminology
- Tapa is usually the term employed in Spain for appetizers, while taco is used in Mexico (it may be that in the past the Spanish colonialists used the word tapa, but it doesn't feel right to me).
- chicharrón singular, chicharrones plural (no accent in plural)
- La Cantina de El Dorado (no contraction as 'El' is part of the name, El Dorado; otherwise, de + el contracts to 'del' eg cerca del mar, near the sea.
I adore chile en nogada, a real delicacy, slow cooked for many, many hours and subtle in flavour.
Good luck now that you nearing the final straight.
Kate Steele

Kate Steele wrote 263 days ago

I have dipped into chapter one and have decided to read this, very soon. On the watch list. You have a tremendous palette and apply your brush with skill to evoke atmosphere and mood - your story-telling skills are apparent from the opening chapter, and we are intrigued to know where you will take us next.
High stars and good luck!
Kate Steele,
Is that All there Is

Jack Waters wrote 272 days ago

Hi Kay, just read a couple of chapters of your book and I like it. Beautifully written and evocative of the era. The backlash of the western that created a myth of the American Cowboy that truly did not exist. The closest you got to a cowboy was the Spanish Ranch Hands or Rancheros (I think). America then (and now) was a melting pot of immigrant labour from many European countries and beyond. This was a time of change and opportunity for those willing to knuckle down and focus on the future. You give us a view into this opening world. Your characters are well drawn and believable in as much as they do things many authors forget. Little human touches that lift a character out of the mundane. Prose is controlled and tightly written but opens like the petals of a flower to the rays of the morning sun when it is needed. There is still gold in those hills and I think after reading this, you have just struck the mother-load. Many twinkling stars beaming your way. Good luck with your novel and I will put you on my watchlist and continue to read it.

Regards
Jack Waters
Reuben Falls, Dark Legacy.

Jamed wrote 273 days ago

“Acres of Diamonds”
Kay Christine Fenton

I PROTEST! Kay Christine Fenton is UNFAIR to readers. With a watchlist bulging at the seams, I picked “Acres of Diamonds.” I intended to read possibly five chapters before passing judgment and moving on. However, I met two incredible characters, Annacara and Larne, so well-drawn and captivating that I immediately identified with them. It would have taken nerves of steel and a heart of stone to desert them in chapter 5 just when military indifference has banished Larne to distant Fort Huachuca. Bigotry, banditos, a jealous spurned admirer, parental doubts, and racial restrictions on the railroad all conspire to make the separation permanent. It’s a daunting challenge even for the self-sufficient, knife armed Annacara, and Larne, the model cavalry trooper.

Not having nerves of steel, or a heart of stone, I had to read on to learn that Larne did send for her, and after a perilous journey they were reunited. I still couldn’t stop there because now they’re going to meet Larne’s parents in San Francisco taking Annacara into an alien world that is unlikely to welcome her. Because the author had made them so alive, I had to know whether they overcome their challenges, and so, I read on. Finally, after chapter 12, I stopped, but not without skimming ahead to the end.

The author created two flesh and blood people and placed them in the world of the rapidly changing West at the turn-of-the-century. Annacara had to make the change from having less freedom than her ancestors in a primitive, impoverished life to a thriving, gas lit San Francisco. Unfortunately the luxuries of the world of white settlers were denied to her as a member of the subjugated native Americans. This book is about racial bigotry towards native Americans, made all the stronger by being told through two individuals. It also is a work celebrating a strong female character. Annacarna is the heart and soul, and, in fact, dominates the entire story. Fortunately, these themes are shown, not told, avoiding the self-righteous preaching that has caused so many works to fail.

This story is surprisingly visual. I could see the characters, I could hear the characters, and I could see their surroundings as easily and clearly as if watching a superb movie. I can’t help wondering if the author’s cinema background has something to do with the ability to bring a story so alive in our heads.

Few authors are able to create two diverse characters so convincingly and few authors are able to recreate a lost world so authentically. Fewer still are able to do both. My highest praise goes to Ms. Fenton for an outstanding work of historical fiction with a strong love story. The film industry’s loss is certainly the literary world’s gain.

James

Elizabeth Kathleen wrote 291 days ago

This is a very nice story, well written and deep. I've enjoyed seeing your characters portrayed and know you've put a lot of time and thought into their development.
I'm impressed!
God bless you!!!
Elizabeth Kathleen
"The Sticks and Stones of Hannah Jones"
"If Children are Cheaper by the Dozen, Can I Get a Discount on Six?"

Butler_Edits wrote 293 days ago

Extremely well written over all - my only crit - a tad complicated at times. I only mention this as it might put off some readers.

Love the plot, characters, and descriptions... and very few grammar problems. Best of luck with this. AJB

ps 'a little before a year the lady became a lady ' - Consider changing to ... 'a little before a year the lady received her title' or something along those lines???

Jennie6092 wrote 322 days ago

This is very well written and there were few annoying grammar niggles to pick at either. I liked the feeling of mystery that resulted from not revealing the character's names immediately at the opening. I did not read the entire uploaded portion (because I knew I would want to finish it and I can't) but the only things I could think of by way of constructive criticism are that the words "Godliness" and "Reservation" should not be capitalized. While "God" would be, godliness, is simply a general word, not a proper noun, hence, no capitalization. The same is true for "Reservation" - if the word reservation were part of the actual name of a particular reservation, then it would be capitalized but as simply a word in a sentence, as is the case here, it would not be capitalized.

I know I'm splitting hairs here, but I kind of think that if this got tightened up a bit it could really get somewhere. If I'd come across anything more substantial, I'd comment on it, but the writing that I read was really very good. I especially like the character sketch of Annacara.

Let's see, just one more thing - and this is really just a personal opinion - I would change the names in your description, taking away the all caps that I know you've used to draw attention to the characters' names but I just think it would flow better without the all caps. Just my two cents.

Sheena Macleod wrote 325 days ago

Acres of diamonds by Kay Christine Fenton
Comments based on first three chapters.
Wow, you can feel the passion building between Annacara and Lance. The detail iincluded in the book appears very well researched- I have limited knowledge of the time and area. The narrative also stays in keeping with the time. The Apache position in the hierarchy is well presented. It is very easy when reading this to forget the vast amount of detail given. All the ranks, titles, addresses all excellenly executed
High stars
I enjoyed this
Sheena
The Popish Plot

emoo125 wrote 326 days ago

Kay - this look like a great read. I read/write historical fiction too - have added to my watchlist!

Wussyboy wrote 333 days ago

I'm not a big fan of historical fiction, but this really is a great read. The story of musically talented Annacara, whose deadly Apache gaze can make people faint (!) and her handsome trooper lover Larne, is one that leaps off the pages and into our hearts. I don't know why, but this reminds me of some of those classic John Ford movies like 'She Wore a Yellow Ribbon' and 'My Darling Clementine'. Such Wild West romances ARE something I am a big fan of, and this is right up there with the best. Six stars, will be reading on.

Joe Kovacs
A Marriage made in Chemical Heaven

p.s. this is edited to a very high standard, dear Kay, I couldn't find one typo. My only suggest, for what it's worth, would be to head up each chapter with a 'title'. Might give the reader a bit of a 'hook' as to what's to come?

Brian Chambers wrote 344 days ago

So far so good. I'll be reading more.

hot lips wrote 353 days ago

I only read chapter 1 but thought it very well written with a distictive 'voice'. The sentences are packed with information but it is never difficult to follow the meaning. I very soon wished for a happy outcome for the talented Apache girl but at the same time I feared for her and that gave the story considerable tension. I wish this book sucess and am happy to back it.
David

Jane Catherine wrote 359 days ago

After three chapters, I'm impressed with the authenticity of your details, at least they seem so to me! You've captured the undercurrents of this particular time in history quite well. The dialogue with all its character differences and nuances flows nicely too. Well done! And I'm still reading!
Jane Catherine - The Celestial Proposal

celticwriter wrote 359 days ago

Hey Kay! Revisiting your work. Still fresh, fun to read. :-)

Hope and pray this note finds you well!
jim

Brian G Chambers wrote 362 days ago

Hi Kay
Your book was recommended to me by Jenny Wren. I'm glad she pointed it out to me as I like historical fiction very much. Your writing flows beautifully there is nothing I could critique at all. Though I wouldn't say I'm a fan of romance it fits in really well with your story and has not put me off at all, far from it. I want to discover if they fall for each other or not, as I didn't read your pitch. I prefer to march right into the story to see what unfolds and to see whether it holds my interest. I'm happy to say it does. So high stars from me and on my WL.
Brian.

Max China wrote 369 days ago

Kay, This has to be one of the most enticing premises I have come across, it really does read like the publicity for a movie. I've read four chapters and this is clearly an epic story unfolding before my eyes, very well told indeed. Starting a little over a year after the lady became a lady your back story begins. Highly evocative, your descriptive powers place me firmly in the Old West of those days, certainly, as I would imagine them to be, and against that, a developing attraction, which seems destined to be ill fated. I was impressed with how you concluded the conflict and the prejudices of chapter four, the ending leaving me in no doubt that I want to read more…and I will as soon as I have the time. Well deserving of your high ranking I endorse your story, and star it highly.

Max China
The Sister

Kathy K G wrote 385 days ago

Kay,
It's books like yours that remind me why I love historical fiction. For me, there is nothing better than to be transported to a time and a place where people once lived and loved and given a little glimpse into their lives and the world surrounding them. And I really appreciate a strong female MC. Annacara is wonderful. I'm only 7 chapters in and I am really enjoying her story. And I love all the details about her life at the fort. My one complaint is that there wasn't more about the lives and customs of Annacara and her family as they struggled, not only to hide her mother's secret, but continue to maintain their traditional way of life despite the bigotry of their suppressors. But that's just my inner research nerd rearing its bespectacled head. Your story is wonderful and deserves and will be given highest stars. I'll be back to read the rest and will eagerly await the day when it's published. Great work!
Kathy

Seringapatam wrote 391 days ago

Superb writing. It felt so crisp, sharp and correct, if that makes sense. It left me not having to work anything out which allowed me to go onto the next paragraph. I would never ever read anything like this until now. If it is written as good as this I wouldnt hesitate to read it. There is a flow to it that I dont see much of as it melts into the words of the story I dont even think about it. I cant stress how good this is. Well done. I loved this so much.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

djchorus wrote 407 days ago

Kay,
You've touched a special place in my heart with your book. It is the place where seeds were sown nearly fifty years ago by James Fenimore Cooper and Louis l'Amour. Stories of Native Americans and stories of the old west.
You quickly create tension in your story by using juxtaposition: the woman on the train vs the begger woman; Annacara and Larne.
Your use of descriptive language is flawless and your book is so well edited that it's almost impossible to find any mistakes.
I hope the remainder of your book is done as well as what you have posted here. I'm placing you on my WL and will move you to my bookshelf in a week or so.
Of course I would appreciate a return read when you have the time.
- David Johnson, "Tucker's Way"

ShirleyGrace wrote 410 days ago

Kay:
I just finished all you have uploaded. I really don't know where to begin. This is a beautiful story and the time you must have spent researching this staggers me. From the beginning to the end you take the reader on a wonderful, emotional adventure. We love your MC from the start and cry with her when she is hurt and laugh with her when she is happy. I learned much from reading this and you take the reader all the way with details and imagery in the settings. The shock when Annie is picked up so to speak and taken into an alien world and the pain of Larnes parents refusal to accept her into the family. She is a brave girl to leave her home and scared I am sure but nothing can keep her from her Larne. Everything is new to her, yet she adapts. I was struck at the constant harshness that never seemed to let up. I was appalled at the scene on the boat and elated when she played the piano.When they get to the "stairs", she is so used to deprivation that she can bear it better than Larne really. I absolutely love the beauty of your writing and the knowledge of the times you share with the reader. Only one typo jumped out at me in chapter nine, I think when Larne is called Lance.(about halfway through the chapter) and he is called Lance in a comment or two. Congratulations on a lovely story. I had already read some of it and gave you six stars and I promise you I will back this soon. A wonderful read!
Shirley Grace

ShirleyGrace wrote 423 days ago

Kay:
This is beautiful writing. The cover is as well and although I have just started reading it I wanted to give you some feedback. I saw few errors and love your descriptions. You have researched well and there is a lot of character to this work. It is obvious where this is going for now but I suspect the plot will throw us some curves. Larne is in awe of Annacara and it promises a great love story. I continue to read.
ShirleyGrace
The Devil's Stepchild

Olive Field wrote 448 days ago

I have come back to this several times, I love your descriptive writing. You have a gift of painting pictures with words. eg. In the last chapter "ribbon string of humanity," when describing the "golden stairs," so sad yet beautifully written. I wish you the very best with your work, high stars and on my watch list, Olive.

FrancesK wrote 461 days ago

Kay, I've read the first three chapters and will come back for more. It is absolutely absorbing and enchanting. You have an ability to bring the reader inside Annacara's head, share her thoughts and what she sees. Your attention to fine detail brings this world alive. I am sure this will make the desk and HC will be mad if they don't snap it up. If they don't want it I can suggest publishers who would read a submission direct from an author. Your careful research has been transformed into living, breathing, rounded characters. Six stars and a shelving soon. Frances K

sound phreak wrote 461 days ago

It's interesting watching the author weave the story and then pull the threads together. Backed.

Red2u wrote 466 days ago

This is truly well thought out and written book. My brother lives in the Yukon and has told me stories about the gold rush. I could relate to the book with colorful pictures in my mind. Well done. I have given it well deserved rating.
Cheers, Red
Illusions of Comfort