EVENSONG

I have read the first three chapters of this book and found it to be very interesting indeed. The story has a very cool flow to it and is told with a good narrative. Your descriptive voice is very astute and I think is going to serve you well. I dont know how much writing you have done in the past but it felt that you had been writing for an age. I can only see good things for this book, but you need to get on here and push it for all you are worth,
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Evensong
I read the first seven chapters.
I have strong mixed feelings about this book.
The first six were pretty good and had me going. There is very good description and character development, the plot was engaging and, although there are a few suggestions I can make, I was enjoying it. 
And then chapter seven came along and it was like picking up a completely different book, one that I really was not very interested in. The effect was strong enough to make me stop reading, which is too bad, because you may have more gems later on. I would recommend that you consider sticking to your original storyline and either avoid the POV change altogether or refine it.
I will deal with my feelings about the first six chapters and the seventh separately.
On the positive, you have very good character development, particularly of Christina, and very good descriptions. You have a few very clever moments that show real skill. Your descriptions in general are sometimes surprisingly moving, for instance,the amber insect, her hands, the shed, the translucent plates at the hotel, the petty ladies drinking ... Also, your characters are well thought out. Nicolette is very endearing in her vulnerability. The mother's viciousness as a person whose life has been ruined by circumstance is very compelling, and her inhumane brother with his nasty vindictiveness is effective and does not go over the top, although it comes close at times (the cat massacre was borderline for me, but, again I felt you kept him believable). These are great character, a wonderfully dysfunctional family thrust into the the wilderness of America during the depression. 
On the plot side I have more qualms. In general, I felt plot development was a good rendition of classic mechanisms, and plot at the synopsis level is very compelling up to chapter six. These are good bones on which you could build a really strong novel. You have the fine, delicate but wilful widow, the vindictive and insecure brother, the vulnerable little sister who is ransom, and a main character who is torn between her love for her family and her hopes for a better future.  
There are two issues that jared  me. One, most significant, are your transitions. They are often very sudden. An example is the river scene. You lunge us into it without transitioning. Another is the death of the father and yet another is the attempted rape scene. We are reading along and all of the sudden this man is all over her. 
These are issues that are relatively easy to fix, as a few transitional paragraphs is all you need, but their absence is very noticeable to me.
The second issue has to do with the auspicious circumstances of Christine's father, who happened to witness the assessination of the Archduke of Serbia. This made me a bit skeptical  and, in fact, is unnecessary for your storyline. He could just have heard of the historic incident. Another, relatively small issue, is the invitation for her to come sing in New York, which appears to have come quickly after her first public recital. Possible, but perhaps a bit of explanation (a delegation from the state of Missouri for the foreign delegation, which was missinng an artistic component? A few more concerts, perhaps?)
I also felt a bit surprised at the sudden mention of the senator, who appears to be the owner of the hotel. Perhaps a bit of background here would be helpful.
The burgeoning romance with him was made more subtle by C's confusion as to whether he thought  of her as a daughter figure or as a love interest. This is a good idea, and I think you should expand on it, as  it creates good tension.
Again, I was generally positive about this section, and with some changes to the transitions, and with toning down some of the backgrounds and filling in others, I think it cold be much stronger.
As regards chapter seven, I have more substantial issues. This chapter had a lot of summarising, I found the characters were caricaturesque, the descriptions wanting, the plot a bit (please don't hate me for saying it) trite, and the writing much less inspired. It was like someone else was writing it. With the first chapters it seemed you could go with historical fiction. Chapter seven seemed like a run of the mill romance novel. Now, I have nothing against a good romance novel. It is just that there are very many, so if you are going to go that way, I tend to be very demanding.
Again, I think that you have so much going with your original POV that I would much rather you stay with her. I understand that you want to show that M Saint Cyr (!) is a heartbreaker and that you wanted to have a wee sex scene. But I think this way of doing it does not add to your narrative.
As I have said, if you decided to go for historical fiction rather than romance you have good bones. There can still be a love story, but you don't have to go the route of romance. But even if you decide you will go for romance, I humbly recommend that you stick with the POV that you are developing.
As with all negative reviews, this is just my opinion, so stick to your guns.
Best of luck with it,
Maeve

Just from reading the first chapter I can tell this has the makings of a beautiful and meaningful story. You capture the mood of Christina and her relationship to her father along with her ideals of the world he was forced to leave behind. You have brought new meaning to the words --- remember. Thank you for sharing this story. I have placed on my watch list and will continue to read. I give you high stars for your trememdous undertaking.
Blessings, Joy "God's Gracious Gift" & "Cursed"

Dear Mary,

‘Evensong’ is a very well written story.
A curious girl trying to find pleasure in the simple adventures on a farm.
A hard-working father refusing to give up hope as he tends to his infertile land.
Memories of home refusing to fade away in the face of unimaginable horrors of war.

A story of the indomitable spirit of people fighting to regain their happiness and peace even after suffering irreplaceable loss and setbacks. The voice is exceptionally clear and strong and the narrative is effortless. The vivid description and authentic dialogue made it very easy to visualise the settings and understand the father – daughter relationship and the crisis and emptiness that have become part of their everyday lives. Their innermost feelings and aspirations were real and heart warming.

For a person who normally avoids historical fiction, the fine writing and the simplicity of the narrative easily drew me in. The pitch and opening chapter promise an engaging and poignant tale that’s much, much more than just historical fiction. I’ll keep coming back to it for more as time permits. Meanwhile, SIX bright stars and my very best wishes to ‘Evensong’.

Sincere regards,
AGC

Hi Mary,
I don't read a lot of historical fiction, so my comments may or may not be helpful. Feel free to ditch them if they aren't!
You start with a lot of description. It's evocative and nicely detailed but it doesn't draw me in - by contrast, chapter 2 really does. The voice, the shorter and well written description, and the prospect dialogue all help me want to read, to at least see if I like the first page (which is how I decide if I like a book). If the first chapter is backstory, maybe you can weave that in later? Hope that helps - if not, as I said, ignore me!

Hello Mary,

I have read through the first two chapters of your book and it seems to me like you have an amazing book at hand. It is a very compelling read with the war background and the characterizations of Joesph and his daughter Christina are done really well. At the moment, I have added your book to my watchlist with the idea of reading it as far as it has been uploaded and have showered it with stars. Good Luck.

Venkatarama

Only two done so far, but this is great. So rich with the human condition. Envy.
Grey

I've come back to this engaging read after a busy summer and picked up at chapter 4 where I left off. Christina is leaving her family to pursue her dream a path that we know will not be easy. The first step is to wrench herself from her little sister who she knows will not fare well at the hands of her increasingly drunken mother and brother. The reader is able to feel the difficulty and guilt Christina feels at leaving her little sister, a guilt she tries to assuage by giving her keypie doll to her sister and clipping Marcel around the ear and telling him to behave.

Later, as a waitress we can see immediately that Christina will face more obstacles not only from the lecherous Mr. Meyer but also from the class prejudice evident in the customers she serves. Will her poor background and presumably her accent serve as future stumbling blocks to her career?

In the first section of the chapter you ably establish Christina's concerns about her sister and her disgust with her mother and brother's behaviour. In some ways you even perhaps overemphasize it by telling as well as showing us. The growing number of empty mason jars are great touches and speak volumes so you don't need to repeat it by actually saying in a few different places that her mother's drinking had increased. You also showed us in the dialogue when Marcel states it's the only way the mother can stay sane. Leave the physical descriptions to tell the reader-- it works so much more effectively-- the sink filled with dishes, the cluttered and dirty rooms, shutters sagging, mother banging pots to show her anger or snide remarks to the daughter-- all show the reader much more effectively than to tell them directly-- she was angry since father died and she was drinking heavily. The first way we can picture everything-- the second way is too vague and flat.

In the second section in the restaurant scenes you might explore the same concept here. Instead of telling us the customers ignored her or looked down on her and they talked about silly things, etc in a later narrative passage you can combine it all into one scene where she begins her waitressing. This is a key scene because we see how she's going to cope with change in her life, her new step towards her dream. We need to see her nerves as she drops plates, speaks to the customers, interacts with Mr. Meyers, avoids groping hands and her emotions as she reacts to it all. Nervous, angry, tearful, whatever it is. (A little nit-- in the scene when she meets Mr. Meyers your viewpoint drifts to him for one brief sentence or two.)

Then finally you should set the scene with the rape a bit more because it too of course is key. It really is all narrative and has no strong sense of suspense and then horror of it-- it's all telling. You might want to have him knock on the door-- a bit of drunken dialogue, her reaction, etc. Have dialogue after he bursts in-- surely she would say no- try to reason with him, then maybe shriek. Then he would certainly have something to say to her. This will make more impact on the reader and set her up for her next action which I presume will be to leave. We will have a full understanding of why she's left. These are just a few ideas to enrich even more what is a strong story line. Kristin

I was really intrigued by the plot of this novel, but I have to admit the first chapter threw me off. I didn't expect it to start out in the USA, but perhaps that's a good thing - to catch your readers off-guard.

I like the use of amber, I hope this becomes a theme of some sort - I have always been intrigued by that rock and the secrets it holds within. Not sure if that was your intention, but that is the way it seemed to me - an omen or foreshadowing of something to come.

In terms of language - there were definitely some places where I felt the text could be tightened up. Just as an example - the last paragraph of chapter 1 - "Christina was familiar with his reaction." Might be enough - you don't need "became all too..." and "the look on his face" seems redundant.

Perhaps this is what pioneed life if like but it seemed to me that this was set in the 1800s not in the mid-1900s which it must be if they are referring to "the war" as World War 2. Perhaps a date would help set this better for the reader?

You've got a great hook at the end of chapter 2 - definitely made me want to keep reading!

I read through chapter 4 - and though the story is keeping my interest - I keep wondering when we are going to get to France since it was such a big part of your pitch. Anyhow I will try to return and read more of this when I get a chance.

An intriguing and unusual read. Thank you.

- Rena (Bunderful)

I've now read chapters 2 & 3 of the novel and found it continues to be interesting and engaging. The detail and description of the region and the time period really contribute to the richness of the tale and help to underpin the reader's understanding of the dillemma and struggles of Christina and her family. I particularly liked the manner in which you built the tension in the second chapter. Starting off at a quiet pace the reader gets a growing sense of danger that climaxes at the end of the chapter. The closing sentence is very dramatic and is a great counterpoint to the opening one.

In the second chapter the reader finds Christina still desperate to find out what happened to her father during the war not only to find out what causes him his nightmares but also to presumably understand better why they are toiling away thanklessly on a remote American farm. The conversation she has with him is a very crucial point in the story so far and in view of that you might consider going over it very carefully for the most effective manner to convey the important points so that it sounds natural but also has strong impact. Just before that section you write "'I've got a right to know.' He listened intently." What was he listening intently to? Perhaps you mean he considered her words? Then he begins his explanation. You might want to begin with "I was 26 when the Archduke was shot" (we already know it was in Austria and the other details from the previous chapter.) Wouldn't she have more questions afterwards? Was he angry over the assasination? The details are vague and if she's angry enough to demand she has a right to know she would be pressing him for more information I would think.

You might also consider a few little nits in that chapter tha I noticed. You write that "No feeling Christine had every felt was as fierce as this time." It would work better if you named the feeling and just stated directly that Christine had never felt so -----(awful, numb, devastated) as she did now. Also at the end of the chapter I wasn't clear exactly where Joseph was at the time of the tree falling. Was he in the wagon and then he fell out with the horse bolting? Was Christina still in the wagon? It could be me, but I read back over and still wasn't that clear. In the last two lines also you have the wagon taking passengers away and then the next very dramatic sentence you have taking again, this time the tree taking Joseph. You might consider rewording it to have it crashing over or toppling over, felling Joseph. As it stands the tree is split by lightening and then taking Joseph down, you don't mention the tree itself comes down-- it kind of impies that it actually still stands, it just whacks Joseph down.

In chapter three we examine the impact of Joseph's death on Christine during the funeral. There is a lot of emotion swirling around here and this too is an important scene because we sense it is the catalyst for changes in her life. Her mother blames her for Joseph's death and thinks her upbringing to this point is too frivolous. In the chapter the various family members are reacting to each other in the throes of their grief. You might consider reviewing this carefully for the language you use to convey the emotion to ensure that it is not to overwrought and detracting from the depiction of the intense grief. words like "enraged impulse" seem almost contradictory and other phrases like "words slashed Christina" "the sight of it pricked Christina" for me detracted rather than enhanced the real sense of grief of the scene. For instance the "pricked Christina" conjures up images of it actually pricking her physically. You might try more simple statements like. "She turned away, unable to bear the sight of it and its meaning there in her sister's hands."

These are such important chapters in a story that I enjoyed that I felt compelled to read so carefully and make suggestions for you, but it is your story and only my own views. Kristin

I was intrigued by the premise as a historian and a lover of music and was really glad about my choice when I read your first chapter. I wanted to comment on it while it was still fresh in my mind but I will read on tomorrow and comment further. You have a lovely almost quiet style that reflects the work you put in at Iowa. The detail is vivid but not to showy and you create a strong sense of each of your characters. The dust bowl time period is conveyed through nice subtle details that almost makes the reader feel dusty too. You are led to wonder what brought an opera singer to such a barren land-- can music survive in such an emotionally and physically dessicated place? Christina has unearthed an object her father feels can dispel such dessication.

With all this good stuff here you might consider a few things that would tighten sections that stand out against the other sections that are so well done (well at least to me). In the opening you use "thing" for the bit of amber and you might try "object" instead since it comes across more graceful and substantial (thing could mean more than an object and so the reader might get confused). The other bit you might consider looking at is the conversation when her father is remembering . It comes across more like a read history than how someone would say it. I'm not sure why he would say it excitedly if it was something he hadn't talked about. It would seem to me it would be painful. And that he might start with "I was supposed to sing opera for the Archduke, you know." Then he would probably say that "In Sarajevo. I was there with my parents." Then when he continues you might consider tightening that up to a more natural speech too. Maybe something along the lines like "So we were there when they tried to kill the Archduke." Leave the hospital until afterwards. He would probably think in sequence (I've done lots of oral history interviews). "We saw it happen. The car turned down a sidestreet when the assasin jumped out" etc. That aside it's a very well written story and I'm more than interested to continue. Kristin

Hello Mary:

I read through all eleven of the chapters yesterday in one sitting. In the course of the dialogue, the novel does a good job of orienting the reader to the prevailing mood of the collaborating French government and the French people at large.

The novel is well-structured, but the only complaint that I have is that, as noted by one of the other comments below, it has a very slow buildup. The primary reason I read the novel in one sitting is that I was drawn in by the pitch, which was very effective in grabbing my attention; but I found myself growing increasingly impatient with wanting to get to the heart of the plot; The protagonist does not leave for Europe until Chapter ten, which was way too long for me; even then, by the end of Chapter eleven, the German occupation of France has not even yet begun.

I will step out on a limb and make a broad generalization that this highlights a fundamental difference between the expectations of your female and male readers. On the one hand, the female reader, having more of a relationship-oriented mindset, may be more content with spending more time on character development; while the male reader is more likely to want to jump into the danger and heroism. I think you have to choose your audience and try to gauge their expectations. If you want to balance both expectations, one way of doing so might be to jump into the action more quickly and fill in the details of character development through flashbacks, instead of building the story on a straight chronological structure.

I realize that, given the fact that only about half the book is uploaded, this may be a premature assessment, so you can take it or leave it.

I truly hope your novel is a huge success!

Blessings to you.

James

Hi,

I'm really intrigued by your story. World War I isn't much written about these days. Your writing is quite lovely, lyrical and graceful. I feel transported back in time.

I'm giving you many stars, and putting on my watchlist (my shelf has just been updated, so I'm afraid I'm committed there for a while).

I hope you'll take a look at Animal Cracker, and star and back as you see fit.

In any case, best of luck with your work.
Regards,
Andi Brown
Animal Cracker

Hello M.L.St.Sure
'Evensong'
At last i have got around to reading your historical book, Love every line and short chapter of it, as Christine enters into this adventure. It's written with a lovely touch, and very tender in a certain way,
Its also very descriptive as the story unfolds, putting the picture into the minds eye at every turn. i have read as far as chapter eight and enjoyed it , in particular the said chapter . with Christina on stage to sing in the key; of c. i usually play in h !.joke,
I can also relate to the premise to come . Hitler and the Germans in the 40s , the child growing up in mine has a fear of that lot, in chapter 12 and some more, when they bombed Dublin in the 40s, however back to your brilliant book.It grabbed my attention from the beginning and it makes for a page turner, in fact it's powerful writing - well done and i wish you every success with it
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'

Hello M.L.St.Sure
'Evensong'
At last i have got around to reading your historical book, Love every line and short chapter of it, as Christine enters into this adventure. It's written with a lovely touch, and very tender in a certain way,
Its also very descriptive as the story unfolds, putting the picture into the minds eye at every turn. i have read as far as chapter eight and enjoyed it , in particular the said chapter . with Christina on stage to sing in the key; of c. i usually play in h !.joke,
I can also relate to the premise to come . Hitler and the Germans in the 40s , the child growing up in mine has a fear of that lot, in chapter 12 and some more, when they bombed Dublin in the 40s, however back to your brilliant book.It grabbed my attention from the beginning and it makes for a page turner, in fact it's powerful writing - well done and i wish you every success with it
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'

A slow build up. You've chosen an interesting subject, America's neutrality and France's unpreparedness.
The plot is certainly original but I have noted a few points that have nagged me, however. You mention the girls father leaving Austria for the "resistance" in France during WW1. What resistance? That term is always used in regards to the Second World War not the first and is confusing. Does this mean he swapped sides? In chapter seven you mention the "Duke of Montrose" as a serving SS officer. The Duke's or Marquisses of Montrose are Scottish nobility, not German. Also, in chapter 11 you state that Marshall Petain lost an arm at Verdun. Are you sure of this?
If you are writing historical fiction it is absolutely vital that the basic facts are correct. Of course you can "create" a fictitious grandaughter and that is acceptable but for me if I note these types of error it makes me wonder about the authors research.
The writing is fine and flows well and the pitch informs me of an excting denouement later on but the good story telling cannot disguise historical factual errors. Starred, regards, Mark

‘Evensong’ starts off with a measured pace, but that does not mean there is anything lacking in the ingredients to make an exciting read. The main character, Christina, experiences the sad chaos of war, but she also finds her love. A particular strength of this book is its descriptions. This is a quality book.

Wow! What a great read and I'm only the first chapter in!

You have some fantastic comments and I can see why. Stellar story-telling at its best. Fluid writing, terrific characterisation and well-paced. Wonderful read.

I have heavily starred and will back when space becomes available.

I hope you have time to look at my children's novel, Nab.

Best of luck,

Claire

Wow! What a great read and I'm only the first chapter in!

You have some fantastic comments and I can see why. Stellar story-telling at its best. Fluid writing, terrific characterisation and well-paced. Wonderful read.

I have heavily starred and will back when space becomes available.

I hope you have time to look at my children's novel, Nab.

Best of luck,

Claire

Your pitch drew me in and i'm glad it did. It was a great read and I hope it goes far.
Leslie
"Love has no borders"

Fabulous first paragraph – it’s captivating as a scene, it characterises Christina and it sparks the book into momentum: does everything therefore that, structurally, a first paragraph should do.
Then, it’s all about character – you give us the character of the characters and the character of the landscape, always with deftly chosen and admirably described detail. I like too its almost languid full-blooded pace - with the anticipation of excitement and conflict scratching behind the surface. After the first three chapters I jumped ahead, eager to see how you’d managed Paris in wartime of which we only get a foreshadowing in chapter 11. The writing is great. Highly polished and terrifically well focused. Brilliant characterisation. This promises to be a thoroughly compelling story.

I'm so happy to have come across this masterpiece! 'Evensong' enchants from the very first line with vivid imagery, with the beautiful language, and a memorable character drawn into a terrible ordeal.

This book is outstanding, no doubt here! The best of luck with it, Mary!

Ivan
The Beholder

EVENSONG is an historical account with the inspirational value of the Sound of Music. It's a pleasure to back it.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

i've finished several chapters...your descriptive writing paints a vivid picture! I also really enjoy your dialogue (for example, the conversation between Marcel and Christine in chapter 1 is really quite witty.) I especially appreciate the juxtaposition between the rough terrain of the fields and the fine european sensibilities of those who tend it. This is a fine balance and keeps me interested, unsettled, and yearning to know more. Beautiful so far!

I usually go for books written about cowboys or characters that are too real to actually exist but I found your character very impressive. I will back your book and put it on my shelf.

Read up to chapter six so far. The plot hasn't moved terribly much, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. One gripe I have is exemplified in chapter one. Seven paragraphs into your story, we see an intimate moment between Christina and Joseph where they have "finally become comrades." This happens more than once where we are given what appears to be a deep conflict resolution -- but the resolution comes before we know there is a conflict. It also feels at times like you take character developments from other stories that you like and arbitrarily apply them to your characters. For instance, Christina's line to Nicolette after Joseph's death that "you can't trust nobody but yourself." I did not feel like we were shown enough to understand why Christina would come to this perspective, but rather you put it in because it sounds kind of good and adds tension. The best advice I guess I can give is don't put anything in your narrative that the story doesn't actually provide.

Your pitch is absolutely terrific; but nothing in the first six chapters lives up to it. Hopefully the rest of the book does.

D. Donovich

This is beautiful, though sad at the same time. The cost of war and what it had meant for everyone who was involved. I felt I was there during the chaos and always will since my visit to Germany. I will star rate this and when room opens up I will back it.

Penny
The Glass serpent

Evensong is a beautifully told story with a well measured pace and well defined characters whose emotions are so real that I feel that I am there. I've star-rated this and backed it.
Gill

I am looking to get feedback and would appreciate if you would look at "Just Out of Sight". I will read your book and let you know my thoughts.
Bandof1 (Craig)

Evensong by M.L. St. Sure - The author transports the reader almost effortlessly back to the early part of WWII Paris. The author captures the challenges that artists, musicians and vocalists experienced while trying to sort out the changes and to somehow survive. Excellent weave of historical fact and fiction. Bookshelf!

this is one of those books that makes you feel real emotion, and while its sad, its also very uplifting.

nice premise. backed!

HI ML,
I reread your first chapter tonight, and I'm wondering what you would think about a suggestion to change the second sentence. The situation could be complemented by short sentences, lending tension, like quick, shallow breaths. Perhaps end the second sentence after hard earth. Third sentence: Winking light made her gasp, a quick flash, amber like the sun, Well, Just an idea. It flowed well after that. Very nice writing.
My compliments,
JOhn B Campbell

I am drawn to your book for several reasons, the least of which being that my wife and I are operabuffs. Your pitch is quite good. I have honestly only read the beginning, but I like your style and am interested in reading more. I am spread thin at the moment, and I need to be loyal to the worthy ones on my shelf for a bit longer. I have starred this and put it on my WL.
Regards,
John B Campbell . . . Walk to Paradise Garden

Dear Mary, I started reading your Opus, and I thought I would give you my comments as I go, otherwise I forget. What is strikes me the most is the wonderful lyrical style of the piece, I always think of a writer's prose as the closest thing to the mind of the author, and what you have here is a mind at ease, moving along with a steady phase.

To me all historical pieces are like science fiction on reverse, that is they live through the ability of the writer to create an alternative universe. The specificity of language, specially in description, is what does it

here are some of my favorites:

"on a crude prism of amber"

"coursing over the old shanty"

"the clattering wagon"

"climbed up onto the bluff"

"the clouds muted into dull gray"

Mary, the only comment I would make then is that of a greedy baby: with such wonderful ability create a language of the time and place, why not more?

I am giving you 5 stars, as a start

david

I don’t know why, but I can honestly say Chapter 5 is my favorite. I know this is a random comment to make when the whole posting is good, but the scene is charming. Great job on your entire work.

Starred and Watched.

-Judith B. Shields
[Twice Reborn]

Nice, wonderful read. I'm not a critic, just a scriptwriter who appreciates a good structure, a good story telling. Happily backed.

sincerely,
jim

Good voice, good, intriguing hooky first chapter. Watchlisted you while I read on and will comment after.
Cariad
STONES.

Hi ML. Loved your synopsis. Placing your work on my watch list. Found you on Bill Carrigan's shelf.

blessings!
jim
jack & charmian london

Dear Mary, Yours is a novel that compels attention on two levels. We identify with Christina and wish her well in her desire to make something of her life, but our knowledge of the times--the compromises that France had to make--cast a menacing cloud over the young woman's hopes for herself and Nicolette. It's a strange and moving theme, evoking a sense of tragedy a little like Remarque's "All Quiet on the Western Front," where we view World War I from the German side. Ten chapters into the novel, I'm eager to read more--to see how you meet the challenge you've posed. But I believe your excellent writing can pull it off, and I'll place "Evensong" on my shelf tonight.

Bill Carrigan
"The Doctor of Summitville"

i really liked it...got to read a bit about it. Also i loved the title, that's what attracted me and the cover no doubt. I've put it on my watchlist. best wishes. :)

This is expertly 'penned for want of a better word. Mary is a very adept story teller and managers to tell us a vast amount of information in just a few lines, accomplised indeed. The story itself builds intregue and pulls at the heartstrings on many levels. The time and settings feel acurately described. Reading you long pitch alone is enough of a reason to back it with out opening a single page. But I was glad I did. Even at this second reading I still found pleanty to sustain my interest.

Sue

Knowing Liam Riley

A magnificently written novel of real class and panache. Sensitive, evocative and very moving, a superb story.

Backed as soon as I can find a space, best of luck.

Jack

Chère Mary, [j'espère que vous ne faites pas le mien, moi vous appelant Mary]. Je crois que votre Papa serait très fier, [si vous ne me surveillez pas le dicton]. Votre livre est aussi passionné que les pages suggèrent. Écrit avec le sang-froid et le but. Cette histoire d'amants perdus devrait avoir été ramassée à ce moment-là. Bonne chance et félicitations. Cicuta, [Carl, Arcane].

You have a way with your words that paints a mental picture. Your descriptive way of writing is admirable. Such fine a talent!!

A very confident and assured pitch, Mary. This is the kind of subject that will always be popular with readers, and I'm pleased to back it. Best wishes, Pete.

HI M L This sounds like a great book to make a movie out of. Your writing is fluid and the plot is certainly intriguing. The courage of individuals in WWII is always a winning topic. Backed, if you can please review You Turn, thanks, Lynne

I was hooked after the closing line of the long pitch. Christina's song was clarion proof of the fact that she was not the real captive! Backed with anticipatory enthusiasm.

Michael Bethune "Unto the Least of These"

The pitch drew me in straight away and the beautiful writing more than whetted my appetite further. The story is a fascinating one and I am sure that the completed work will be highly successful. Well done!

Philip John

You are a first-rate writer. What an amazing story. I have a real affinity for this period in history. Not only is this
a terrific book that deserves publication, but it would also make a very fine movie. I look forward to its publication and a prominent place on my bookshelf. Keep writing. You are going to have a long and successful career.