Book Jacket

 

rank 5855
word count 13209
date submitted 02.04.2009
date updated 28.04.2009
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Thriller...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Stormlash

John Elliott

Fleeing from childhood traumas, Robert sees Brazil as paradise. But when his wife returns home, he stays, defiant but in doing so endangers his life.

 

Robert’s executive job in Rio de Janeiro is his escape from a troubled childhood which has left him distrustful of men and uncertain about women. He adores the expatriate lifestyle and is certain he can find security and recognition. But his wife, Ros, fears the dictatorship. When he refuses to return, she takes their children back to England. Shocked and feeling betrayed, he stays, convinced that he can he find success and win back his family. He is made a Director, but even with this success he cannot avoid having to cope with corruption and injustice that challenge his own very British habits. He struggles with loneliness and his difficulties in forming relationships. A rich businessman introduces him to his daughter, a divorced socialite. Robert becomes infatuated with her but she plays him off against a jealous and violent suitor. Then he meets an Army officer whose disaffection with the military regime leads him into opposition and threatens not just Robert’s stay in Brazil but also his life. Only one man offers the stable male relationship that he seeks but will he save Robert when his life is in danger, before Robert risks everything to atone his father's death?

 
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tags

brazil, corruption, dictatorship, impossible love, loneliness, persecution, personal courage, rebellion, torture

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5 comments

 

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Tom Balderston wrote 993 days ago

Travel to Rio, a new experieince with a wealth of knowledge and information. All tied into a proper story line. Reading.
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

Barry Wenlock wrote 1182 days ago

There is the need to edit here, but it's an interesting tale and generally well-written with good descriptive passages and realistic dialogue. Enjoyed and backed, Barry (Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

Richard Hensley wrote 1465 days ago

I like the detailed descriptions of the place and characters. I find them useful as I have never experienced Rio (or Brazil). My impression of the place and time is one of excitement and foreboding. I'm looking forward to more chapters.

Tarquinia wrote 1495 days ago

The descriptions of Brazil and Brazilian life are superb. The characterisation and style becomes more confident in the later chapters.
The story-line can be confusing, perhaps when the motivation of the characters is unclear. There are distracting typos, and occasional inconsistencies, probably as a result of re-writing.
Stormlash is an unusual and exciting story and a marvellous portrait of Rio and the area round the city. Anybody visiting Brazil after reading this will have had a great introduction.
Claire

emap wrote 1507 days ago

Hi John,

I've read the first two chapters now and enjoyed your beautiful descriptions of chapter one contrasted with the tension of chapter two and the images of poverty and helplessness. Your protagonist's conflict is excellent, engaging. Grown up poor he won't allow himself to commiserate with the poor in Brazil. For fear of the military police but it seems also because we wants to stay well above them.

I had some problems the structure of chapter one and clarity issues in chapter two. In detail:

Chapter one

I wasn't too fond of the opening. We learn that he'll always be an outsider in Brazil. Is that the impression you want your readers to keep in the back of their minds while reading the first chapters? It's only one paragraph before you take us to England. Felt a bit jarring.

I'd start with the section up on Cristo Redentor and only insert the England section after he remembers his tenth birthday. It would feel less jarring, I think, as it would give us more time to 'settle' in Brazil before you take us back to England and the past.

Typos:

England 1940

"arriving policeman" -> policemen

"They must be still be out in the cold ..." -> drop first "be"

Chapter Two

You write the night passed without violence but then there are shots. Seems contradictory.

Who is Tom? What about this grandmother mentioned? Is it still part of the dream or reality. Tom's cry wakes him but then he doesn't act on it. Reading on I know that Tom is his son and gone. Still the scene is rather confusing.

You write: "...young man in jeans and black T-shirt, whose unkempt blonde hair and drooping moustache made Robert wonder if he was criminal or policeman until he saw the bulge of the holstered gun."

I wonder why Robert thinks at all that he might be a policeman? Also, how did the gun resolve the puzzle for him. Both, police and criminal would carry a gun, right? I thought he was a criminal either bribing or threatening the police officer.

Who is "Her man"?

So the guy in jeans and t-shirt is a cop? Who then gets arrested? The policeman who looks like an officer? All a bit unclear.

"As he stooped to enter..." Who is he?

"... - black, white, mulatto, though mostly black - a stark reminder of Brazil's colonial past." Rather of it's slavery past? The white faces are those of the colonists.

There's still a policeman waiting outside? You gave the impression they all left. Or is that rather metaphorically speaking?

Anyway, I really enjoyed the read and will put your book on my shelf.

Cheers,
Edith

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