The Guide

I love stories about animals in the fantasy genre and this awesome tale titled The Guide shines from the author's brilliant imagination. Backed with enthusiasm.

Dear T.J.H., I love that everyone lived happlily ever after - unlike my memoir - maybe some day. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

This is awesome - what an incredible imagination and a real talent for putting it into words! You make the idea of a talking wolf acceptable and the characters are very down to earth even though they are also fantastical! BACKED with pleasure - thi sneeds a green arrow next to it so PAY ATTENTION AUTHONOMITES!

Liz
The Cheech Room

I think this is well executed and I shall continue to read more. An interesting premise that drew my attention in the first place. I shall continue to read but in the meantime happy to back

Hi Tom

Books with wolves and dragons- one can say they are a dime a dozen. And YET, isn't it strange how EVERY time a book with a wolf or a dragon in is picked off a shelf? I believe we love the fantasy of it and the legends surrounding them, the mystery. Guide doesn't disappoint! I already love your Kai and I'm certain the younger generation will as well!

This is well written. Of course (like me) you can lose some of the adverbs, but overall the tale is fresh, particularly as, for once, the wolf is a good soul. You have sufficient hooks in chapter 1, 2, and 3 to keep the reader wanting more. Well done.

The only suggestion I might make is to submit a cover. You deserve support and that will draw more readers.

I'm happy to shelve for a while.

All the best
Elaina

Hi Tom,
This is highly enjoyable writing and its nice to see the wolf cast as a hero for once - Shelved.

I read straight through the first four chapter. You write descriptive passages really well.

Not that its important in a fantasy, but the last wolf was killed in Britain in 1743 ( see http://www.wolftrust.org.uk/a-lastwolves.html ). I enjoyed the relationship you built up between Clara and Kai and the way you send them off into the night and make it very difficult for the two of them.

My only comment of note is that I think you need to put a little more light into the first three chapters. Inject some humour that will make the darker passages seem darker by comparison. I like your writing style and can't offer any advice is that area.

I note that this novel hasn't been commented on for awhile, and I'm very pleased to break that long gap. It's a good story.

John

Just finished reading chapter one. The idea you presented in your summary sounds very promising. A girl trying to save her mother's life by traveling to a different world. One suggestion: You got me hooked when Clare points out to herself that wolves are non-native to the area. That is when my interest spiked. Until then I felt it was mostly, "So what? There's a wolf. I wouldn't go out and say hi, myself personally."

I would suggest cutting the part where you're in third person omniescent and go directly to third person limited. It's definitely more exciting when you've got her thoughts alone without authorial input.

Favorite part of chapter one was definitely the end, Kai's description of the tree. I'll watch this book.

I am enjoying this. You create a convincing setting, full of menace and dark forces. I look forward to the final chapters.

Alex

Thank you very much for the comments, you have no idea how happy they made me :D I'm glad that you're enjoying The Guide but if you stopped reading after Kai's apparent death don't fret! Sorry to spoil it for anyone else but he's not actually dead so you can carry on reading safe in the knowledge. There is a lot more of this that I've written but haven't got round to posting yet. I only have another 4 chapters left to write but I will post up the rest of the chapters up to chapter 16 if you are interested in finding out what happens next.
I will definitely try and get round to reading more of Sim (it's been on my bookshelf for a while) but I don't have the internet at my flat yet so I literally have to snatch a few moments each day at work to check Authonomy. But I'll try and read some more this weekend.
Anyway, thanks again for the comments :)

I came to this via the pitch me section and was immediately interested in your description of The Guide. I've now read, and very much enjoyed, the first five chapters. What has struck me most is the dream-like logic of the structure. Though much of the desfcription is very intense, it remains very evident that Clara is not in her real world and that her family concerns matter a great deal.
This contrasts with the very strong drawing of the parallel world - i liked the entry via the tunnel a lot- it's clear that this world exists for you in minute, well-researched detail so that you have a huge amount to draw upon as you are writing. This certainly enhances the text as i believe in it completely.
The other thing that is completely clear is that you have a deep love of language and the skill to put the words together so that they flare out your meanings. There's a great deal of powerful, balanced wordplay here and I revelled in its exuberence.!
My only slight worryu is that Clara seems very accepting of Kai ( I stopped reading because I cope with human deaths rather better than animal ones) and doesn't seem to find a talking wolf in Northern England either strange or frightening. Perhaps this is the dreamlike tone of the first couple of chapters- where everything seems logical.
Anyhow this is a really interesting YA book and it really shouldn't be languishing so it can have the guest spot on my bookshelf to get it moving.
Best of luck with this and your others.

I only read the first chapter because I am not really a fan of the fantasy genre but you write well and I could picture what you were describing which is always a plus. Looks good.

Hi Lorrie,

Thanks for taking the time to have a look at my book and thanks for the comments. A common theme I'm getting from the comments on my books is my overuse of adverbs so I guess I'd better address that as soon as I have time. I'm about to start work on chapter 8 of The Guide so before I do i'll go back and strip it down a bit. Hope you have time to take a look at the next few chapters once I upload them and I plan to take a look at Fury asap :)

Woken by a wolf howl, a girl sneeks out of her father's house to investigate, an action which leads her into an adventure.

I particularly liked the line 'the draft that blew through the house ruffled the hem of her nightdress.' It was very visual and evocative.

One point I would mention is your use of adverbs. You use sleepily, sharply, longingly, tentatively, slowly, falteringly, eerily - to name but a few. I always find a highlighter pen useful for marking adverbs so I can see if I need to cut any.

All the best.

Lorrie

Only read the first chapter but looking good. I like the mystery to it but then I'm a bit of a mystery junkie. Just one suggestion: maby a few more comas to lighten it up a bit?
I'll get back to reading more soon, hate leaving a book half read:)

Thank you very much for your wonderful comments and thanks for being the first person to comment on this book. There is still a lot of work to do on it (I am currently only half way through chapter 5) but I am progressing quite quickly and any comments I receive can only make the piece stronger. I hope you feel compelled to read on and see what you think of the other 3 chapters I have posted up :)

good first chapter. you are able to paint spectre and fright, create an atmosphere of suspense that holds attention. enthralling use of language here and there, delightful description of emotions.... i am not a great fan of fantasy but i like what you have done here, you are a beautiful creator.