Diary of a Bad Housewife

I trawled through the comments on this and I wasn’t sure whether it was me or your many reviewers who have missed the point. Since I’m in a minority of one, I guess it may be me. Just about all your comments are of the “Wow, steamy!” variety, with a bit of additional information about the reviewer’s personal like/ dislike of erotica.

To me, however, this was first and foremost a very moral book: not in the old-fashioned sense of defending traditional values, obviously, but in the sense that the author has a very clear idea of right and wrong, and the reader gets a very clear idea that the author’s on the side of right.

Julia reminded me a little of Emma Bovary:

“She buried herself in the ‘Corbeille’, a woman’s paper, and the ‘Sylphe de Salons’. She devoured, without skipping a word, all the accounts of first nights, race meeting and fashionable ‘at homes’ … She gloated over the descriptions of furniture of furniture in the novels of Eugene Sue; she read Balzac and George Sand, seeking some imaginary balm for the longings of her heart. She would even bring her book with her to the table and go on turning the pages while Charles ate and talked”.

Diary of a Bad Housewife is moral in a modern sense, of course. Right in the first chapter, we’re introduced to all Julia’s shortcomings: she’s selfish, she’s living in a make-believe world, she couldn’t care less about her kids, and – crucially, because I think this is where her journey of self-discovery towards becoming a better person is going to happen – she’s selfish in bed. Her selfishness in bed seems to be a function of her selfishness more generally – or maybe it’s the other way round?

In chapter 2, we see a different side of her entirely, when she’s on the phone to her parents. This is quite psychologically astute, apart from anything else: most of us are one thing with one set of people, another with another. Julia’s no different. In front of her parents, she’s defends Colin, and it’s obvious she likes and loves him. Then her parents get off the phone and she’s back to hating him again.

And then there’s the enigmatic Aunt Sadie, about whom we don’t hear too much. But it’s obvious she’s a kind of conscience-in-waiting. I’m guessing she’s going to become more central as the novel progresses.

Anyway, I may be wrong about everything I’ve just said. But I don’t think so. Bookshelved.

Ah, I see what the fuss is about.

A new kind of 'cumming of age' story! But it's much more than that, isn't it?

Oh! Delicious!

this book was recommended to me when i asked for erotica. it took me a while to get to it, based on the overwheming number of people who ask for reads - you never did... now i ask why not? sheesh - this book is excellent.

from what i've read so far, i've been nothing but impressed. i expected crap. i expect all erotica to be crap, and enjoy it when it is. i like smut, i like trashy writing when it pertains to sex, but i also enjoy a good thorough read - and this is that. a great story with steamy sex and developed characters - this is rare.
for me, sex for the sake of sex is excellent even when written poorly - but that's just what i like and it's often complained about in the general public.

Diary of a Bad Housewife is not meaningless misplaced trash with no back story... in fact, it's the opposite

well done, i hope this goes as far as you want it to!

Jaclyn x
My Life Without Me

Mmmmmmmm, I returned to read some more.

oh, elle, this is so good! I love it.

Talk about guilty pleasures! This novel is the ultimate. Not only we feast upon a titillating sexual smorgasbord, but we experience Julia's delightful comeuppance. (I had to look up how to spell titillating-- I don't think I ever wrote the word before.) But I feel sorry for her too because she is a product of awful parents. (And I thought my mom was crazy!) I came to love her, but she has to grow up. Best of all, the story shows a woman living life (and adventure) after marriage. I love it.

I love the scenes others have described elsewhere. Let's just say they are "satisfying." I back it!

Oh! I love this! Teasing, tantalizing, tasty, sexy!

sizzling!

Diary of a Bad Housewife - interestingly Julia your main Character isn't very likable. Instead I found myself understanding and pretty much pulling for her poor spouse. As your pitch tells, she is very spoiled and with antagonizing parents, it sets the stage for some relational problems. The story is well written. Good job
Cindy
Key Atkinson - The Shifters

Wow again. I've read every single chapter and I'm dying for more.

I picked up on the same thing Eileen did in an earlier review only I think the trick is more subtile. The author (or authors?) obviously lived in the US and UK. Notice how the wording and spelling gradually change from one side of the ocean to the other.... an ex-pat? You know Elle is sensual by the way she caresses every word.

Okay, okay, I confess I've reread some of the chapters, enough so I began to notice. Lets face it, we came here not for cleverness but for the sumptuous sex and Elle delivers! In handfuls and mouthfuls and bucketfuls. Sorry, hope that's not crude, but what sets this apart from wild porn is the persistent undercurrent of romance throughout. My problem with Anne Roquelaure is the coldness, the lack of love and romance in spite of words to the contrary. She was great when it was the only thing we had, but this story shows how erotica should be done.

This might not be popular to say, but there's a little Julia in all of us. She's is so obnoxious and yet so human, we can't help but hate-love this spoilt brat and we long so see her get her comeuppance. The 40 chapters here deliver on that and I suspect more's to come. I fear this ending.... I mean I don't want it to end but also I want it to end along my selfish whims, that Colin collars her and finally makes her his own. Toward that end I'm glad to see he's getting manly trained too.

Here's to a successful launch.

Well this is a very funny idea right from the start. Yes, she's a very naughty girl and she needs both discipline and more sex. Excellent. What better recipe, I ask you? The pitch puts all this across very well.

That last phrase, "everything she holds dear" - the obvious thought is that she wants her marriage and family to be happy, but on the other hand you've made it clear that what she really holds dear is pure materialism and selishness... so somehow I need that phrase to really spell out what you mean: is she going to lose her money, her husband, her children, or what?

To me, the phrase "British Isles" sounds like it's from an American who doesn't realise Brits never use this phrase. I lived in the UK for 30 years, but have only ever heard Americans use this (I'm USA-born). If you want the book to do well in the UK, and it obviously could, then please tell us whether this retreat is in England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland?

chapter one. She forgot her kids altogether? Wow, am I going to have difficulty liking this person? She's on wine and crappy smut at 5 in the afternoon? Hmmmm. But then, when she thinks she actually does not need to like sex, ah, here we see her vulnerable self-delusion. She doesn't know she's about to be sent to a sex clinic, but we readers know all right, and that is very pleasing. We know she is getting her come-uppance, and we now she'll have a few bodices ripped off, and she will learn some home truthes too.

I wish you luck with this.
Eileen Kay
The Noodle Trail

I was hooked from the very start. You bring your character Julia to life. She's a spoiled brat! She couldn't care less about the kids, dinner or her husband. The dislogue works wonderfully. Well done! I'm planning on returning to read more.
MC
Exposed

I have only read chapter 1 but I'm beyond hooked. All I can say is, thank god I have two hours off from teaching today because I'll be reading this. LOVE.

Another highly stimulating book! I love the characters and the astonishing but realistic complications. And the sex is first class-- and classy. So well done!

elle, we miss you!

This is a really great read! I love the slight bits of humor that are put into this. I'm kind of over the erotica thing, but this book was really well written. Very good job.

I agree with BBB Smile. I came for the sex and stayed for the story-- and vice versa.

I enjoy the sly intelligence behind this. And what an education! Nigerian scams, modeling, bodice rippers, American real estate, English history, and luscious, dripping sex! Well done!

I like how you have drawn the charactors and the sex is realistic, not fantasy. I have all new books on my shwelf so I can't put you kin it now, but you are on my watchlist and will shelve it in a couple od weeks. Five Stars.

This is the sort of novel certainly appeals to me.

What great characters you have created.

Just read the first two chapters and definitely want to read more and I am backing it.

Good Luck with it,

Carol Jefferies
Love for Lilian)
(A Prince Unboyed)
(A KInsman's Chattel)

The sex wouldn't be the same without the story and the story wouldn't be the same without sex. Somehow you maintain a level of sexual tension throughout, even through the disastrous parts like Julia's humiliation at the hands of the Nigerians.

That part about the punishing bath (chapter 16 or 17 I think) was stunning. I don't think a man could understand masturbation as punishment and purge. I also love the medieval parts, two stories for the price of one.

It dawns on me that part of what makes the story work so well are the boundaries. In porn, there are no boundaries–indiscriminate, anything goes and that diminishes the way I identify with characters. Here, you develop a trust with characters that they will behave a certain way without violating a, well, code. You've created kind of moral erotica and it really works.

I started reading this yesterday and am still at it, no longer rushing. The characters are drawn close to the edge and it feels like we know Julia and her mad mother. The story's very poignant with wonderful insight and it's exciting, very exciting.

I like the concept and have added your book to my watchlist and will give it a read. Hope you do the same with one of my books.
Frank

Elle, I thought this a good read. Not what I would normally go for and thats the reason why I went for it. i am looking at other books that I dont normally read. This is a good example. I look for certain things and this has got it. A good story, well presented. How the characters interact with the reader and of course if the writer has written it with the reader in mind. I think this will go a long way in the future and you should now push it. well done with this.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you. Happy New Year. Sean

Saw your book on the weekly chart. As the title sounded interesting and the pitch even more so, I gave it a go. Your story flows with realistic dialogue, lively characters and an unusual plot. I'd planned to read the first three chapters, but ended up reading all you have uploaded here. Good work! I really enjoyed it.(And I admire your sex scenes...I am just hopeless at them, so I was very impressed!)
I've given Diary of a Bad Housewife a high star rating and wish you luck with getting it published.
Cherry
The Girl from Ithaca

Much prefer gay action but it's hotly done for straight lit.

I might have something to say when I'm not so breathless!

Dear Elle
Happy New Year from a fellow authonomist!
Having published non-fiction books for twenty years, I’ve just written my debut novel, ‘The Prodigal Father’ - a tale about a runaway dad’.
Its genesis lay in a question I asked on a walk with my black Labrador a few years ago: ‘if the story of the prodigal son were to be told today, what would be different?’
Straight away, what came into my head was this: that it would be the father not the son who left home for the ‘far country’.
From there I began to write a short story about that morphed into a novel.
My short pitch is that it’s a gritty and redemptive tale of survival with hints of heaven and rumors of angels.
Link: http://authonomy.com/books/49927/the-prodigal-father/
I hope you’ll find time to read it. If you’d like to comment on it or place it on your shelf, I’d be delighted.
Happy reading…
Happy writing…
Mark Stibbe

Wow, smart erotic lit! This smokes right past one-dimensional pornography. I love this. Now back to reading...

Hey, Elle! Glad you're back and I'm back to read too...things have been crazy but I have a few books that have been on my WL that I'm dying to return to and see what happens next. I'm enjoying this immensely..and always curious to see how other writers handle sex scenes as I have a few of those in my books. I'm sure I'll learn to love her as she (hopefully) grows and changes, but right now I have to agree with auntie. Julie is a spoiled brat. Colin and Sadie are the only likeable characters at this point. You are truly masterful with dialogue...so smooth, natural and flowing. If I had any minor criticism in these early chapters it's that the mother and father are a bit overdone in their shallowness. If that was done for comic effect, then it works but if there supposed to be realistic, for me anyway, they were a bit over the top cartoonish. Looking forward to coming back and reading more. All the best to you.
Sheri Emery / Crazy Quilt

I loved the opening, so funny! As it was italics and I'd read the blurb I knew exactly where you were going and it was fab-u-lous! My only gripe? While I don't dislike books written in the first person, this might work better if it wasn't. High stars, WL and bookshelf in next shuffle.
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

Absolutely loved this book. You paint the picture of all the charters so well and make this not just erotica but a dam good story behind it to back it up. You give the reader a great insight into the mind of a spoil brat and her life, or the changes in her life since she got married. I have read everything you have put up and I can honestly say each chapter is better than the last. 6 star rating from me, when I have room I will be backing it on my book shelf. Very best of luck with it.

OMG, chapter 8-- oh, I'm sure neighbors heard me moan. It's so sexual and yet sometimes poetic and lyrical. This is only the third book I've read here but I've never read any book anywhere that comes this close. (ha, pun!)

please please come back to authonomy - i vow to read the entire novel posted, put it before all other reads, and give a proper comment... if you please please come back to authonomy...

it needs more erotica and people pumping their erotica... haha i like that play on words ;-)

come back. please.

Hey,
I intended on reading the first chapter and now I am on 16 lol. I can't believe what an idiot she is, I hate her but like her at the same time.
Anyways, I will try to find room on my shelf for this at the end of the month because I really like this.
Leesha - Becoming Aware.

Just finished, wow wow wow, where do I get the rest?!

what an interesting twist in the story

Good morning! I'm in the middle of NaNoWriMo (trying to write 50,000 words by month's end) but also trying to stop in the site here as much as I can. My book is also in the chick lit category so I'm perusing my fellow chickliters and reading/commenting.
I'm going to put this on my watchlist (for when my 50,000 words are done!) as I've enjoyed it immensely thusfar. I think your characters are sharply drawn and you have a natural way with dialogue and humor. I look forward to reading more and seeing what happens at the retreat. If you find yourself with any extra time I'd be humbled if you'd give my book a look as well. I feared without my "nurturing" this month it might begin to slide (down to 271 from 245) so I'm trying to stem the tide. Hope this finds you well, and again, I enjoyed visiting and reading. Will return soon.
All the best
Sheri Emery / Crazy Quilt

Spot on. To paraphrase an earlier comment, "What's a nice Christian girl doing here reading erotica? And enjoying it?"

Who wouldn't enjoy is the obvious response. It's well-written and, well, titillating, a word I don't think I've used before. I enjoy the fact the story is well-grounded so we don't have to suspend our morals to enjoy the action. The writer also skewers bodice rippers but in a way that makes us long for their return.

It's in fact lovely.

This book is so much more than Erotica. The story is captivating, the plot is well developed and the characters are believable and faceted. You hook the reader from the first paragraph. The sex is not gratuitous but deliciously written. High stars and the best of luck with this book.
Yours Bea

What a hot, hot book. I love it.

I absolutely loved your opening. its wonderful.. I am going to put this on my watchlist as i dont have time to read it all tonight... Its excelllent, made me roar with laughter....

Kate off the rails

Hi John,
I found your book when I had a quick search for 'erotica', and read the first five chapters. I must admit that you have your own style when it comes to voice and boldness. It's easy to follow and unpretentiously structured. I often find myself wondering why most erotica authors don't develop unique POVs on sex and other worldly matters...It can be a story like yours which is successfully objective and not blindly subjective. I liked the Mother. You've managed to blow in a realistic voice within her. You seem like you're full of diverse dimensions and obviously you've observed thousands of different types of people. I liked your spirit and generosity for dialogue. Thanks for sharing what you've found out on intimacy...and men&women interactions.
You may also find my book Ten Deep Footprints interesting, as one of my characters is a nymphomaniac who can't stop thinking of sex. I've only submitted the first 2 chapters of my book yet, and I'll be very glad if you could spare a little place on your bookshelf or add my book to your watch list...and make a comment. First impressions do matter, you know. I'll definitely come back to read more and share my thoughts.
Best wishes,
LCF QUARTET, Lucette
Ten Deep Footprints

Hi Elle,
I found your book when I had a quick search for 'erotica', and read the first five chapters. I must admit that you have your own style when it comes to voice and boldness. It's easy to follow and unpretentiously structured. You sound positively objective, in other words, I can easily say that you're not blindly subjective. I liked the Mother character, she sounds cool. You've managed to blow in a realistic voice within her. It seems like your novel is full of diverse dimensions and obviously you've observed thousands of different types of people. I liked your spirit and generosity for dialogue. Thanks for sharing what you've found out on intimacy...and men&women interactions.
You may also find my book Ten Deep Footprints interesting, as one of my characters is a nymphomaniac who can't stop thinking of sex. I've only submitted the first 2 chapters of my book yet, and I'll be very glad if you could spare a little place on your bookshelf or add my book to your watch list...and make a comment. First impressions do matter, you know. I'll definitely come back to read more and share my thoughts.
Best wishes,
LCF QUARTET, Lucette
Ten Deep Footprints

I read a large part of this backwards, initially intending to skip around. As I finished each chapter, I wondered what became before and skipped back, and back, and back again. I guess that's quite a compliment.

I love the castle and the idea of the St. Hillis Academy. Wouldn't it be marvelous if such a place really existed?

WOW WOW WOW,

You're quite the phenom! I read pages of comments and forum posts, and I have to say I agree. Backed.

HI wondered if you fancied swapping books?

Kate Off the rails

so nice!

so naughty!

What hasn't already been said? Except I really admire this story.