Book Jacket

 

rank 736
word count 29826
date submitted 19.05.2009
date updated 08.07.2009
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Fantasy, Young A...
classification: moderate
complete

THE SORCERER AND THE DREAMER

Tom Geyer

Sacrabeus the sorcerer is terrorizing Paris. He's stealing children, the most important ingredient in his hideous recipe for immortality.

 

"Sacrabeus wasn't collecting children for the fun of it. No, he wanted something from them. He had everything that he desired except one thing: more time. He was mortal and one day he would die. But the children offered him hope. What Sacrabeus wanted from them was THEIR time, the remaining years of their lives. The life of one child would add many years to his. But the lives of many children? When added together, THAT would be something. But could it be done? Maybe. Children would be wasted. But they were everywhere, like fruit on a tree. Could he squeeze the life out of them? That was the question."

Contact Info: twgeyer@comcast.net

 
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tags

fantasy, fiction, horror, suspense, thriller, young adult

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180 comments

 

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DMC wrote 1730 days ago

Tom

Fabulous opening chapter. How can anyone resist turning the next page?
And it just goes on and on.
I was 10 chapters in before I realized I’d better write some notes.
This is splendid. Such great voice putting over a highly original premise and story. I like it, a lot. The short chapters work extremely well too and you have got me hooked! Reading on…

Shelved with my best wishes,
David
Green Ore

Gailt wrote 1747 days ago

A great begining, certainly had me reading on. Scary and funny too. I love the Queen and you have so many hooks. I can see why it has a good rank and im sure it will make the ed's desk. Hopefully ive just given you a little shove in that direction..

Raya wrote 1755 days ago

Hi, Tom Geyer,

This book is absolutely marvelous - a wonderful mixture of scary, hilarious, gloomy, and drop-dead funny. Sacrabeus is the perfect villain because he is quirky and horrible. The scenes with the Queen and her ministers and then her mystics are side-splittingly funny. What a great blend of compelling reading. Shelved.

Looking forward to your reading of my book in exchange (we did agree to this, didn't we? I've forgotten :P)

Sandra Bell Kirchman
WITCHCANERY

MichelleRitz wrote 1758 days ago

Tom! This is creepy, freaky, and utterly fantastic! Muwahahahahaaaaa! i really enjoyed reading this. You've created a wonderfully dark story and injected snippets of black humor throughout....simply brilliant! On my shelf! :oD

rbettenc wrote 1121 days ago

Great concept: stealing children to add to his life. Scary. Has lots of potential. Best of luck to you!

Rick Bettencourt
Summerwind: Closed for the Season

Wild Mother Lightning wrote 1273 days ago

Ghoulishly gripping and tinged with humor, a really good read...I like the pace and the characters, and it's really well written. Adding to my list so I can read on...

Thanks,

Natalie.

Lockjaw Lipssealed wrote 1317 days ago

This should go over VERY well with your target audience. I'm a big fan of YA and this grabs you from the start, but even more, you keep the stotyline strong.

Happy to read this one.

Lockjaw

CarolinaAl wrote 1322 days ago

A well woven, brilliantly detailed tale. Clearly delineated, quirky characters. Rich descriptions. Lively dialogue. Great tension. Hilarious wit. Fascinating storyline. A remarkable read. Backed.

Barry Wenlock wrote 1438 days ago

Hi Tom, well done. This is well-written and deliciously dark and amusing, as well as being genuinely original.
Backed, of course, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

Jim Darcy wrote 1466 days ago

Why is this not doing better? I got straight into this and the short chapters work really well on screen. Characterisation, dialogue and the buils up menace are all done really well. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

T.L Tyson wrote 1603 days ago

Well. what you have here is an epic villain!
Who could resist Sacrabeaus... (which just on a side note I kept thinking sacre bleu!)
This is one bad baddie you have created. And what a horror, stealing children.
Oh my.
I was seriously lost in this. As I imagine a young adult would be. This is great.
I love the premise, the interactions, the narrative.
The idea, plot is really targeted towards older teens and yet the writing is still youthful and spry.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

RonParker wrote 1647 days ago

Hi Tom,
I've read the first few chapters of your book and only time constaints prevented me from reading more. I certainly intend to read the rest at some stage.
It's an interesting concept and very well-written, so far I haven't even found a typo let alone anything I would suggest needs changing. I particularly like the short chapters and the humour which makes what could have ben a very dark story into an amusing one.. I'm quite sure you will have success with this story. I shall definitely make room for this on my bookshelf.

Nicky Jones wrote 1679 days ago

Hi Tom,
the beginning of your book was terrifying! So that was good. The eating of the rodent was gruesome, so that was brill again. Super writing style. No nits at all, only shock and awe! Happy to back. Nicky (The Changeling Tree.)

Red20881 wrote 1717 days ago

This is an absolutely amazing story. The beginning captivated me immediately, and as I read on I never lost interest. I stopped to let you know that I am backing your book before I read on. I also want to let you know that your short chapters make it so much easier to read...for some odd reason. It works! Kudos to you for such an outstanding job. Lots of luck in your publishing endeavors!

Helene
A Time in Eternity

DMC wrote 1730 days ago

Tom

Fabulous opening chapter. How can anyone resist turning the next page?
And it just goes on and on.
I was 10 chapters in before I realized I’d better write some notes.
This is splendid. Such great voice putting over a highly original premise and story. I like it, a lot. The short chapters work extremely well too and you have got me hooked! Reading on…

Shelved with my best wishes,
David
Green Ore

Gotch wrote 1734 days ago

This is good stuff. You've got quite a tale here. That's why I say you really need to polish. Your book is definately worth it. I'm going to back it as I think you're going to turn it into a slick piece of work.

1. If your going to use colorful descriptions, try to limit yourself. I say this because I am guilty of the same sin. Think of a really powerful description as a lead bar you add to your boxing glove. One added to the glove and used in a well-placed punch can give you a knock-out. But each additional lead bar only serves to weight down your glove and slow down your swing. It reduces the effectiveness of each punch, if it lands at all.

2. Long sentences are a bain of mine also. Examples of yours: "Before she could grasp what was happening to her, she was in his clutches and out the window, where the night lay waiting." Great stuff but maybe..."Before she could think..." or "Before she could react..." Another: "With the speed of a mongoose, all in one motion, he snatched up the mouse and stuck it in his mouth." Omit "all in one motion".

Good luck with this. Shelved.

Patrick (Spitting Distance, The Last Clan Chief)

Jangle wrote 1736 days ago

Hello Tom Geyer,
Although I am still not on authonomy as much as before, I want to start keeping the promises to read books I made some weeks ago. Although the sorcerer has been on my bookshelf ever since I last wrote you, I have, finally, read the first four chapters. It is truly wonderful. So visual, among other virtues, that I can see this as being a hugely successful animated film as well as a successful book. The only reservation I have is that the opening is scary scary, wonderful but maybe not for a young child. Were it not for that I think even small children would love it--of course only by being read to. I think parents would find it pleasant duty and a good excuse to enjoy what is supposedly for children.

This book is funny with a host of well developed characters--you have the great talent of being to draw a pesonality, a character, with a few deft strokes. Excellent!

I will take it off to make room for some others. I don't know if you get "credit" if it goes on again. I'll try to find out.

Best,
Jan
THE COBRA AND THE MONGOOSE

Justinvs wrote 1741 days ago

Hi Tom,

Great opening. It's a real grabber! You might want to expand it's length a bit, though. Either that or roll several of the short chapters into longer ones and use scene braks to show a switch in time and place. I haven;t had a chance to read everything yet, but Sacrabeaus is certainly a memorable villain. My only advice so far, other than chapter length, might be to watch out for scenes heavy with exposition and try to weave the information in throughout the narrative. If you lengthened the chapters, this would probably happen anyway.

Hope this helps. You're off to a great start!

Justin

EJ Fechenda wrote 1745 days ago

Hi Tom,

Right from the beginning I was hooked. When Sacrabeus bit into the rodent, you described it so vividly, my stomach turned a bit - well done! The Queen and her court are hilarious. The part about the Queen's throne feeling tight and that it would need to be widened is great. Not only do we have an idea that the Queen (who is a nibbler) has been resting on her laurels too much, but only royalty could indulge in the widening of furniture.

You asked me to swap and I am glad that you did!

Shelved.

EJ

Sangay Glass wrote 1745 days ago

Lol...I'm reminded of the Queen of Hearts. This starts off scary which I rather liked, then it turns almost silly with the queen and her bumbling court. Although I'm sure you are trying to lighten the horrors awaiting the children, it might be too light. The grim situation is being lost in humor. Maybe strike a balance. A couple of nit picks:

A crooked wheel goes nowhere..."fast" is the saying:)
Watch your telling...she smiled, a kind of evil smile...I'm confident you can do better.

Anyway, I do like the bones of the story and shall give you a bit on my shelf for content.

Sangay Glass
Kate, Blue Jeans, and a Single Shot

Michael Croucher wrote 1746 days ago

Hi Tom, an enjoyable read with solid characters and and an engaging plot. I can see young people getting absorbed in this story very easily. As for me, I enjoyed your writing style and confident voice most of all. THis is very well done. I'm happy to give it a bit of time on my shelf.
Michael (Bravo's Veil)

Gailt wrote 1747 days ago

A great begining, certainly had me reading on. Scary and funny too. I love the Queen and you have so many hooks. I can see why it has a good rank and im sure it will make the ed's desk. Hopefully ive just given you a little shove in that direction..

Rayo Azul wrote 1748 days ago

Here you have the mix just right. Scary enough, funny and with well-drawn out characters. Just what your targetted audience would enjoy. Shelved.

Rayo

Melimoops wrote 1749 days ago

Hi Tom - this is a great fairytale! I love when the Queen thinks walking is obviously bad for her health...very cute. You've done a great job of building some interesting characters. I can picture this as an animated film as well. shelved.

All the best,

Melissa

Irmagarde wrote 1749 days ago

I think this is a great book! I love the queen, and the little personable things she does to remind us that queens are people too, lol. :) I think the sorcerer is extremely icky, but I can see that that is important. Your style reminds me a little of the Septimus Heap books, which my kids and I love. I'm happy to put your book on my shelf!

ErinMarion wrote 1749 days ago

Hi, Tom -
I'm responding to a long-ago summons you sent me to have a look at this - better late then never, eh? :)

I think you've got a strong handle on what kids like to hear, and I do quite think that kids will like this, when you've got it all polished. For that, I bestow Ze Backing. ;)

Have you considered switching chapters 2 and 3? I think you could build some suspense by switching those chapters - the reader will think "ooh! Where's he taking her?" And the question won't immediately be answered, though the thread won't be lost because you've got the Queen talking about the sorcerer. And then, after the first few chapters, it feels like each chapter is about something different, different children, with the sorcerer only getting sporadic attention. I would definitely consider getting him in there more, at the top of more chapters. Because kids love the bad guy ;)

That's my two cents! Good luck with this!
-Erin

M J Francis wrote 1749 days ago

Hi Tom,

To be honest, I was in two minds about this. The opening: seemed all too brief and lacking something - atmosphere, perhaps. A sense of dread. The writing, at times like this, reminds me of something aimed at a much younger reader than YA. In my opinion, I'd consider slowing down the pace of this opening. In a way, it's good that it's short, but it just needs a little more mystery and sense of creepiness before the reveal of the bad guy.

In chapter 2, I was put off by Sacrabeus climbing up the rafters to get some shut-eye, then waking up and going back to the child and getting on with the story as it should be. I didn't see the point of showing him going off to have a nap before his work. It didn't add to the story; and I know you were probably thinking it adds to the character - and his bat-like nature explaining how he got into the girl's bedroom through the open window in chapter 1 - but it seems more of an unnatural interruption. I would suggest cutting that out and just showing him getting straight to his work - get to the meat of the story. You can reveal details of his character in a more natural way. For example, if he's a bat-like creature, does he even need to climb eighty-nine cold steps to get to the top of his tower, or would he more sensibly leave a window open to fly through? Maybe that's how you can reveal his bat characteristics in a more natural way . . .

And on to chapter 3. Ah! I suddenly like this story a whole lot more. The sense of humour comes out. The quirky, somewhat hopeless court of characters. The narrative feels much better. It's making me chuckle in all the right places. And the same is true for the few more chapters I read afterwards. In fact, I want to keep reading, if only time would allow.

I really think with some tweaks this could be something special. When I felt more comfortable with it, it was reminiscent of animated movies like Corpse Bride, with a hint of Terry Pratchett. I would suggest conveying its sense of humour more in the blurb, too, so the reader understands the tone of the book from the start.

So, to shelve or not to shelve?

Despite my reservations at the start, I ended up with a smile on my face, so I'm shelving it.

All the best,

M J

Tammy Snyder wrote 1750 days ago

Ooh! Very good! Not something I would normally read but, I am persuaded to change my mind!! Very easy to follow along and you captured the mind of Sacrabeus well!! Shelved
Tammy
The Chimney Still Stands

StephenMc wrote 1750 days ago

Tom,

Thank you for bringing this book to my attention. I have now read chapters 1-4, then skipped to 12, had to read 13, then skipped again to 37 which made me read 38.

You write with an engaging unrepentent confidence in your characters, plot and descriptions that I have not found anywhere else on this site. Your narrative made me want to read on. I had been initially skeptical given the subject mattter of child abduction but you create an otherwordly atmosphere that makes it palatable and in context.

Your bad guy is really properly 'bad' and the good guys are suitably inept and well-meaning. There were a few odd things that you felt the need to explain (like whale blubber for lamps) which I felt were a little unnecessary but these are mere quibbles.

I can offer no further helpful comments as I think this is well accomplished writing which hints at potential for Disney cartoons or Potter-esque movies. Will pop it on my shelf as a leg up in this merry dance.

All the best
Stephen

JMS wrote 1750 days ago

Hi Tom,

This is really a fun read. I've read the first 4 chapters so far. The villain is interesting and creepy, and you sympathize with the protagonist almost immediately as she tries to grapple with the crisis and her own incompetent government. Great beginning...looking forward to reading more soon!

BexMcK wrote 1750 days ago

Oooh, I could see this on the big screen, directed by Tim Burton! Excellent.
BexMcK (The Devil's Box)

Shannon Lee wrote 1750 days ago

Wonderful! I've only read the first three chapters, normally if I don't get past the first chapter I don't bother :p LOL

This is a great book, it's going onto my shelf!

Clipso123 wrote 1751 days ago

Hi Tom,

This is an excellent piece of writing. I love the characters but have to admit Sacrabeus scares the life out of me. Then I am still frightened of the Wicked Witch of the West! Really enjoyed it. Backed.

Sara

Monique O'Connor James wrote 1751 days ago

OOOOH How freaky! I thought at first this was gonna be one for my twelve year old but he would surely not sleep for a month or so! Very nice! This is a nice twist on an age old tale and you pull it off in a marvelous way! I love it much!

Monique

DeniseJane wrote 1751 days ago

Most entertaining! I whipped through the first half a dozen chapters with glee. I LOVE the Queen!!! What a girl!!!
Your writing flows effortlessly, your use of language is simple and economical and this is a good mix of all the magic ingredients a book for children requires. The opening reminded me of The BFG, then a bit of Dracula mixed with the Hunchback of Notre Dame in Sacrabeus, then a hint of Alice in Wonderland's Queen of Hearts in the Queen.

Something here for everyone.
On my watchlist for further reading!

All the best
Denise (Indigo Antfarm, Violet and Blue)

John Ireland wrote 1752 days ago

Hi Tom

I seem to be encountering a lot of fantasy on this site and, while I am far from an expert in this genre, I do like to think I know an active imagination when I stumble across one. And that is certainly the case in the world you have created.

I detect a smidge of Oz here, and a snoutful of Wonderland there but, otherwise, it all appears original and enchanting and just a bit twisted. Pretty much what your intended audience appreciates, methinks.

Cheers
John
(Brown Girls)

tojo wrote 1752 days ago

Hello Tom This is excellent work. really well written. scared the daylights out of me. All that sqwelching stuff and urrg, The wry humour. and the queen my god.this is great stuff. only just changed my shelf a few hours ago. will go up on my shelf the next two days. should not have a red arrow on this.

Kitty Fantastic wrote 1753 days ago

Oh this is deliciously icky. I love it. Your turn of phrase is quirky and yucky and blunt and brilliant. And very funny. Scarabeus makes you want to laugh and scream all at the same time.
Backed backed backed!!!!!!
Rachael

ergi1120 wrote 1754 days ago

Chapter 5

A satire of Nancy Regan. Looking for astrology for guidance. I know this Queen. Tom, this is a keeper. I'm putting it on by bookshelf and this should be on the Editor's desk. The dark comedy, horror and satire is something I haven't read until now on this site. I give A+ for originality.

Julie

ergi1120 wrote 1754 days ago

Chapter 4

So far your novel reminds me of satire on a past politician in Jackson County, Missouri. Very good! The idiocy and incompetency of people who are politically appointed sometimes amazes me. This book has caught my attention. Your characters are well defined and there is terror, humor and satire. This gives it an original spin.

Julie

ergi1120 wrote 1754 days ago

Chapter 3

The politics of this Queen are Machivellian and her advisers she surrounds herself are mere fawning yes men. She has met her match with the Sorcerer. This is very well written and the pacing is quick and smooth.

Julie

ergi1120 wrote 1754 days ago

Chapter 2

Very scary and repulsive. The Sorcerer is evil incarnate and the physical description of the castle is menacing. Good chapter.

Julie

ergi1120 wrote 1754 days ago

Chapter 1

You leave the end of the chapter on a note of suspense. You have 44 chapters. I am presuming the majority of these chapters are short in length. It's a good idea to open the novel with action.

Julie

petrifiedtank wrote 1755 days ago

This is brilliant. Excellent writing. Wonderful.

And so on...

Craig, shelved.

Raya wrote 1755 days ago

Hi, Tom Geyer,

This book is absolutely marvelous - a wonderful mixture of scary, hilarious, gloomy, and drop-dead funny. Sacrabeus is the perfect villain because he is quirky and horrible. The scenes with the Queen and her ministers and then her mystics are side-splittingly funny. What a great blend of compelling reading. Shelved.

Looking forward to your reading of my book in exchange (we did agree to this, didn't we? I've forgotten :P)

Sandra Bell Kirchman
WITCHCANERY

happypetronella wrote 1755 days ago

I really enjoyed reading this fantasy with its great characters, and full of suspense. Shelved.

nancy mcdaniel wrote 1756 days ago

What a great image of Sacrabeus hanging upside down and blowing in the wind all cocooned up. Creepy to say the least. Great descriptions, especially him eating the rat. Yuk, I loved it. The queen is a great character and I liked the subtle humor. Nancy

jumes wrote 1757 days ago

Sounds fascinating....I'm going to WL this and hope to read it very soon
Jumes
(I don't have a book to swap...I'm here purely as a reader...but I'd appreciate it if you would take a peek at 'Never Again' by Terry O'Neill....his own story.....cheers )

amandalouise wrote 1757 days ago

I liked this - I like way you made the characters come alive by subtly giving the reader small details about them. I enjoyed reading it, very creepy and you have mastered the dialogue well.

One small niggle - on a personal note I dislike it when people use " marks to imply sarcasm - for example, "guest" at the beginning of chapt 2. I think it is obvious to the reader that the guest isn't really a guest, just from your writing - your words are strong enough for you not to need to draw attention to them with quotation marks, if you see what I mean, so this small criticism is really a compliment in disguise :)

shelved

FaithB wrote 1758 days ago

Oh this is marvellous. The pace, imaginative language and understated humour of your writing is perfect for this genre - I know my two now grown-up children would have just loved this (and probably still would), and I suspect I would have insisted on reading it to them - it's such fun, in a darkly comic way.

On my shelf without a backward glance.

Patricia wrote 1758 days ago

This is very well-written, and consistent. It reminds me of a descriptive fairy tale, which is a compliment. I'm putting this on my watchlist.

Thank you

Hilary Waters wrote 1758 days ago

This is brilliant. The dialogue is superb and witty. I love the touches of humour everywhere, so understated and yet so much a part of the whole. The idea is a good one as well and the fact that you dive straight into it. I am hooked and backing.
Hilary Waters (The Piazza)

Krista Darrach wrote 1758 days ago

Wow Tom, you can write...for sure.
What an interesting story you've conjured up in that brain of yours.
I wished there was more dialog (I love dialog - if you read my book - that will be obvious).
But the narration was brilliant - you're a great story teller (as everyone has said below)
I loved the Queen and the pictures you painted so well for the reader.
Creepy, Scary, Hillarious...and Shelved.
~Krista Darrach
-Riley's Gift

Stauna wrote 1758 days ago

Creepy, creepy...but in a good way. Great emotional pulls. Some of the prose could be tightened a bit to make it less passive but other than that good work. Up on my shelf for a bit.
Stauna