Book Jacket

 

rank 177
word count 85228
date submitted 13.06.2009
date updated 06.02.2011
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Thriller...
classification: moderate
complete

Conscience

Peter Scholes

Twenty people, twenty lives, thousands of thoughts with every genre crashing together. Always let your conscience be your guide. It may save your life.

 

Things are not always as they seem. We hide our secrets by what we don't say. We often think what we can't bring ourselves to say. Every action has a consequence and so does every thought.

A child has died. Was she killed or was she really saved?

Do we decide our own guilt? Only your conscience can answer that.

An angry housewife, a disorientated groom, a distraught Mum, an impatient shopkeeper, a randy husband, a lazy but caring priest, a fiesty invalid and a couple of bickering pensioners. These are just a few of the characters in this tight knit thriller that bring this intricate, roller coaster of a novel alive.

'Conscience' is the story of how thoughts can trigger a chain of disturbing, funny and outrageous events. And when twenty very different people are involved the consequences are frightening. As we get to know the varied and complex characters we are sucked into a tale of mishap and murder. Always let your conscience be your guide.


After a considered, patient start, the links between the characters overlap to produce a thriller that will leave you wondering just what on earth goes on in the mind of others.

 
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tags

conscience, crime, fear, guilt, intrigue, love, panic, tension

on 172 watchlists

602 comments

 

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Brian G Chambers wrote 36 days ago

Hi Peter
What I can't understand about your book is WHY has it not been published yet? I must admit I've only read the first two chapters so far but it is captivating. It is creative stuff indeed showing what each character's thoughts are, before culminating them all near the end. And with 600 comments and on so many shelves I can't understand why you haven't made it to the ED yet. Be patient and you will be rewarded, I am sure of that. I will be buying this one when it gets published, that's for sure. Six stars from me, on my WL for now until I get my shelf sorted out.
Brian.

CATHERINE SHAW wrote 116 days ago

This is brilliant, especially for me because I am lazy and love short, crisp stories. It is extremely funny and should be up there, hurtling towards the desk. I love the bit about the keys and the lazy shit - everyone has one of them in their lives, mine is my son, but you've just got to love him and it's my fault for running around after him!. And the hum drum sex :) brilliant. This is very original and your writing is fabulous - such a wonderfully fluent read.

Cathy

Andrea Taylor wrote 117 days ago

What a lovely idea, and so simple I wonder no-one else has ever thought of it! It is funny because it is simply our thoughts and surprise, surprise, our thoughts are exactly like everyone else's....thats a bit sad isnt it?
Why arent you published yet? Why are you still languishing here after 600 odd comments? With such a gem you are crazy to just sit on it!
Andrea
the de Amerley Affair

Mark Cain wrote 130 days ago

A modern, shorthanded Canterbury Tales. Each little episode has its own flavor.

I snickered five times in the first nine paragraphs. You have to work hard to get me to laugh at print. You did it. Since I write comedy, I know how difficult an accomplishment that is. In fact, I think your first chapter (I read the first 5) is a mini-masterpiece.

The writing is fun and fresh. I like what I've read. I'll drop you a short note in email with some private thoughts.

Nice job!

Best,

Mark
HELL'S SUPER

Janet/Helen wrote 144 days ago

Conscience. Chapters 1 - 12 inc.

I think with nearly 600 comments already, there is nothing I can add other than to say this is a different and extremely enjoyable way of introducing your characters and how they come to life in the initial chapters. I can picture each and every one of them and my desire to find out how they all come together in this book builds with every chapter and each new character. Excellent writing. 6 stars and onto my watchlist. Janet

Janet/Helen
The Stranger In My Life

maretha wrote 28 days ago

Conscience by Peter Scholes
I've read the first four chapters. My sympathy definitely lies with the housewife-looking-for-keys-being-late scenario. :-0 The Shopkeeper has my sympathy, because life tends to have these turns where one can't really blame him for the way he thinks, but he's human after all. Positives for me in the first four chapters are: Thoughts are clear, when dialogue is used it comes naturally, (even cursing to oneself) and writing is smooth. Yours is the first book I've read on authonomy which introduces the characters in this way. I'm not sure if I perhaps missed the hook, but I would like to be reminded of it somehow, during each chapter, because these characters are all moving to the same point later in the story. But I'm intrigued by what I've read thus far, so please accepte many stars from me! :-)
Maretha
African Adventures of Flame, Family, Furry and Feathered Friends

Brian G Chambers wrote 36 days ago

Hi Peter
What I can't understand about your book is WHY has it not been published yet? I must admit I've only read the first two chapters so far but it is captivating. It is creative stuff indeed showing what each character's thoughts are, before culminating them all near the end. And with 600 comments and on so many shelves I can't understand why you haven't made it to the ED yet. Be patient and you will be rewarded, I am sure of that. I will be buying this one when it gets published, that's for sure. Six stars from me, on my WL for now until I get my shelf sorted out.
Brian.

Seringapatam wrote 113 days ago

Peter, A good book. good flow, good pace, great characters and the story told so well. I thing you have a good narrative voice that the reader want to hear so I am thinking this is going to do well. You use the characters to pace the book for you and I see this as a clever ploy. Well done.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me fro a read or watch list wont you??
Many thanks. Sean

CATHERINE SHAW wrote 116 days ago

This is brilliant, especially for me because I am lazy and love short, crisp stories. It is extremely funny and should be up there, hurtling towards the desk. I love the bit about the keys and the lazy shit - everyone has one of them in their lives, mine is my son, but you've just got to love him and it's my fault for running around after him!. And the hum drum sex :) brilliant. This is very original and your writing is fabulous - such a wonderfully fluent read.

Cathy

Andrea Taylor wrote 117 days ago

What a lovely idea, and so simple I wonder no-one else has ever thought of it! It is funny because it is simply our thoughts and surprise, surprise, our thoughts are exactly like everyone else's....thats a bit sad isnt it?
Why arent you published yet? Why are you still languishing here after 600 odd comments? With such a gem you are crazy to just sit on it!
Andrea
the de Amerley Affair

Mark Cain wrote 130 days ago

A modern, shorthanded Canterbury Tales. Each little episode has its own flavor.

I snickered five times in the first nine paragraphs. You have to work hard to get me to laugh at print. You did it. Since I write comedy, I know how difficult an accomplishment that is. In fact, I think your first chapter (I read the first 5) is a mini-masterpiece.

The writing is fun and fresh. I like what I've read. I'll drop you a short note in email with some private thoughts.

Nice job!

Best,

Mark
HELL'S SUPER

Janet/Helen wrote 144 days ago

Conscience. Chapters 1 - 12 inc.

I think with nearly 600 comments already, there is nothing I can add other than to say this is a different and extremely enjoyable way of introducing your characters and how they come to life in the initial chapters. I can picture each and every one of them and my desire to find out how they all come together in this book builds with every chapter and each new character. Excellent writing. 6 stars and onto my watchlist. Janet

Janet/Helen
The Stranger In My Life

LittleDevil wrote 154 days ago

I didn't realise you were back. I'll make some room on the shelf for you!

Jaclyn Aurore wrote 168 days ago

Hello Peter!

Ok so i've read a few chapters now and i really like this concept. it's short story-esque and gives us the chance to get into other people's heads instead of just one MC.

my only small piece of advice, and it's really only an opinion, is that i think the person whose POV you're sharing, needs to be a love or hate. take chapter one for example... I sympathize with the housewife, she's got a lazy husband who snores... totally relatable. however, she's very angry, makes scary threats of ball chopping... talks of starting a fight in the hopes to get beaten just so she has a reason to leave. these things make me not like her so much. i can't connect with that. i feel like you should have two choices with her... either make me love her and sympathize because her husband is a douche... or make me hate her, because her husband is actually kind and she's just really angry.
sitting halfway in between makes me feel disconnected and unconcerned. perhaps later we'll learn why she is so volatile, but as it is it seems a bit overly dramatic responses to a man's laziness, snoring, and gross-ness

having said that, i really enjoyed reading this... it was light and easy... and all things intertwine... awesome :)
well written, high stars

Jaclyn x
It Never Happened

Patricia Laster wrote 185 days ago

It's late and I've about an hour to do some leisure reading. I wanted to read more of your story because it's like reading one of my favorite published novels. I've still not finished the whole book (my "pleasure" reading time is so limited until I can finish out this month) and will be back to continue reading as long as you leave your chapters up here.

I feel like I need to share something with you - I've had feedback from a few publishers who've told me that they wouldn't consider a book if it were "given away free on the internet" as they want people to have to buy your book in order to read all of it - the only way they can sell books, I guess. Other writers on here, however, have had different feedback, so mine may only reflect the specific publishers, but I thought I should let you know.

Personally, I hope you leave your whole book up here so I can read it all. I will buy it once its published whether I read it all on here or not. :)

Patricia Laster wrote 189 days ago

Reached chapter 22, but have to stop to do house chores. I will be back to finish! This is awesome - some of the best writing on this site - very professionally written. The only glitch I encountered was the font in chapter 14 (and it reappeared in ch. 22) was impossible to read! You must change that - and chapter 20 was difficult also.

Fantastic book! Brilliant characters. Of course I'm partial to character-driven novels especially one with an assortment of characters who have some common tie not seen at first. If the author is able to catch you up as a reader in each character, then to see how they all tie in together makes an amazing story, and you have the magic touch of being able to catch the reader up in the life of each of your characters although some are likeable and some not. At first your book reads like a very entertaining series of short stories (one of them reminded me of O'Henry's "Gift of the Magi") but the fun of your book is seeing how they are all inter-related. Not having gone beyond chapter 20, I'm not able to see the full picture yet but have already had a few "ah ha" moments with Darren especially.

Your stories touch almost all of the emotions. The sweet/sad story is Janet and her loss of Violet, the shopkeeper and the wife are stories with humor, the company car driver and the beauty are heavy sarcasm, and the apt dweller who was the customer in the shopkeeper's store is, once you see him in his apartment, creepy, and Greg's story is scary.

One thing about it, no reader will get bored reading your story. Some readers may be frustrated by the number of characters in the vignettes but, as I said, I love this sort of puzzle-story where the pieces all come together in the end. I think it's also make a great movie although the film director would cut it down to about 5 characters and, certainly, no more than 6 or 7. Wouldn't it be fun to choose the actress/actor for each character?

Your writing is totally professional. I've no suggestions. I only look forward to having the time to read the rest of your book. Do you have it all uploaded here? If not, I'd like to buy a copy when its published. You certainly have a high rating from me, a place on my shelf when there's a space, and my best wishes for publication! Great book!

Patricia Laster
Free to be Me

Lenny Banks wrote 195 days ago

Hi peter, I took a look at chapter 4, thanks for supporting my book. The pitch got me interested and the writing was easy to follow. The characters seem very real and you have obviously put a lot of work into this. My only critisism is it seems to wander a lot ! If I was in that role, I am not sure I would be all over the place ( maybe its me) I wonder if that damages the credibility of the character. I loved the humor that was written into it, I think you should have fun what ever you do. This is a good piece of work and I am surprised it hasn't reached the top 5 by now. Good Luck

Kindest Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks - Tide and Time: At The Rock
I will try and find some space on my shelf sometime soon but will give you high stars

Chester wrote 204 days ago

Very funny. (You sure you didn't interview my ex-wife for the 1st chapter?) Enjoyed this and wish you the best with it.

Chester

Di Manzara wrote 213 days ago


Hi Peter,

You've promised a great compilation in the pitches and you certainly executed each one well. My favorite thing about Conscience is the personal approach, having all the characters well-introduced to us, each one of them. I feel like I know them personally because you allowed me to and you did it in a beautiful manner. They are all different from each other and so I didn't have any problem of identifying one from the rest. That is a very difficult task but you managed to do it. Congratulations!

Despite having many characters, I thought the theme is cohesive and this is still something I'd read and be happy after doing so. I really liked it and for that I'll give it high stars. You're a talented writer and I wish you all the best with this.

May I invite you to read and rate my book as well? Thank you in advance for your help!

D
LEO & ROVER: THE PURPLE MARBLE ADVENTURES


Lucy Middlemass wrote 254 days ago

Conscience

There’s really nothing to not like about this. It’s very funny and your ability to inhabit the minds of others is an absolute joy. Reading this is a treat. I’ve just noted below some bits I liked in the first four chapters but I’d happily have sat and read the rest. It’s an entirely error-free manuscript too, as far as I can tell which makes for lovely smooth reading.


Chapter One
This is a great start. The voice reminds me of something Alan Bennett would write. Really funny and nice characterisation.

Chapter Two
“when she reads it in bed tonight” is particularly nicely observed. “Go mad, get a DVD as well” is also very funny.

Chapter Three
“Isn’t it funny how quickly the wedding ring can slide off with practice.” is great - really sums Mike up. I am convinced by the traffic jam in just the same way as I was the shop front and the missing keys. You even have the radio on.

Chapter Four
Dave’s advice to himself right at the end of the chapter to “Put the hat on.” is brilliant.

This is an exceptional read and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it. Presumably, (and from your pitch) the characters are brought together at some point - which makes for an original idea as well as a skilful technical execution. Six stars and it’ll stay on my watch list. Just brilliant.

Lucy

whoster wrote 268 days ago

Hi Pete,

I've read the first two chapters, and you've done a great job showing the polarisation of the sexes. You've mentioned so many things men and women get annoyed about with each other, and both narratives sounded authentic. You've got a nice comic touch too, and your descriptiveness has a pleasing down-to-earth feel. Impressive stuff, and worthy of a high star rating.

Pete

Shelby Z. wrote 280 days ago

The opener is quite funny. There is just something about the whole keys situation that makes the reader like it.
There is a lot of creativity to this book that draws the reader in.
The pitch seems a bit long, but it tells a lot to draw the reader to the plot line.
Good work with all of this.
Nice job!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Stark Silvercoin wrote 286 days ago

This is my second read-through of Conscience. I enjoyed it even more the second time. It was good before, but now from a technical and grammatical standpoint, is just about perfect. It could be picked up and published right now with no extra work.

The story itself is told in a rather ingenious way, with twenty different characters all going through life and only marginally linked at first. There is a lot of humor involved, especially with some characters, but even the more serious chapters are sprinkled with amusing thoughts and subtle little jokes.

Because the tale is told from the view of so many different people, author Peter Scholes is able to change the feel of the book quite a bit so that it never gets stale. It also helps readers to differentiate the various people in the story. Reading chapters one and then six really shows this. Each chapter in the book can almost stand alone as its own short story, which is good with so many characters to follow. In fact, the only other authors I know of who can juggle so many main characters are Dostoyevsky and Steven King. Scholes could join those ranks once Conscience is published. His unique storytelling style is interesting, easily readable and enjoyable.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

TDonna wrote 292 days ago

Ch 1 - Impeccable. Funny. I loved the part where she talked about her mom having warned her. Don't we all do that to some extent? It's fluid. I liked the writing voice. It perfectly captured her frustration and disatisfaction, and yet you made it funny (don't know if you intended it, but I chuckled a few times, i.e., cutting his toe nails in the sink and thinking he'd played a practical joke on her). It's the contradictory pairing that gives it such appeal, i.e., He is a kind and decent man at heart -- just a lazy shit who has me running around..." Although first person, her thoughts provided a visual image of setting, "Look at me, on my hands and knees..." Lively and vivid and fast paced -- while she's looking for her keys! Brilliant.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

Wussyboy wrote 297 days ago

Well, you had me with your first line, Peter, my wife is ALWAYS losing her keys! Just the other day, I accused her of this and she stamped her little foot and said affronted: "What IS it about you and my keys?"

I read the first few and last few chapters of your book, and have one thing to say - have you ever thought of adapting this to the stage? It would I think work brilliantly well as a stage-play a la Pinter monologues. As a novel, it is a very brave experiment - orchestrating 20 "think piece" characters into a multi-layered, complex thriller - but it may prove too challenging for the reader. You've got some wonderful characters here (my favourite is Mr Iqbal and his Hancock-like commentaries on porn and corn chips) but rather too many of them. The final resolution - with Margaret being stabbed and the little girl being run over - is VERY well-handled but again, this would I feel work much better in the spoken word (radio play?) than on the printed page. The killer's 'voice' is particularly chilling.

6 stars from me. Shows a lot of promise.

Joe Kovacs
Ginger the Buddha Cat

Stephanie Mortimer wrote 350 days ago

Hi Peter,

Firstly, I thought your pitch was great, enticed me to read on. I have to say, I wasn't expecting it to be so humorous, but what a pleasant surprise. I thought the Housewife chapter was hilarious, you seem to have a real insight in to a woman's mind. We've all been there with the keys and wanting to ram an alarm clock into a snoring husbands mouth! That really made me chuckle.

You have such a unique style of writing. I haven't seen anything like this on here. It wasn't until the third chapter that I realised there wasn't any dialogue. (I was too engrossed in the story). I don't think this matters though, as you still let the reader into the characters minds, hearing their thoughts etc.

I think you have a great story here, that fits into so many genres and would have a wide appeal.

I've put you on my watch list and will back it when I have a little reshuffle of my bookshelf.

Thanks for the entertaining read.

Stephanie - Feathers

Cariad wrote 354 days ago

Am five chapters in at the moment. Think the idea is original and different. I think most wives will identify with the first chapter - both funny and very telling. Spot on. I liked the head hopping and the running dialogue of their thoughts, so what do I think by chapter 5? If I were to make a constructive comment, it might be that at this point, I'm beginning to look for a unifying theme, and hoping it won't go on with just the different heads, but that they will coincide somewhere soon. I might have liked alternating chapters of narrative, with the 'head voice' chapters in between somehow - sort of unifying thread in the narrative chapters so that the pace and theme is varied. Although all the different chapters are by turns funny, sad, interesting etc, the pace is similar.

That's all I have to say on the 'down' side, but they are only observations. The writing itself is very well done, and flowed so well I was at the end of chapter 5 before I thought to stop for a minute. I'm also engaged enough to read on now, so will comment again when I've read some more. Nice to read something a little different.

Sharda D wrote 402 days ago

Hi Peter,
Here for our reading swap.
I like this, it's original, fun and quirky. I read the first two chapters and felt that you'd really got into the characters heads. Could identify with the thoughts of both the housewife (I am one) and the Asian shopkeeper (I'm Asian!) Some parts were laugh out loud funny. Marvellous.
In fact, for the housewife it was sadly uncanny how accurate your stream-of-consciousness was!
I like the ideas for the novel presented in the long pitch, the sort of thing I'd pick up at a book shop and be intrigued by.
Niggles?
I felt the voices at times didn't always flow as smoothly as they could. Things like "He has knocked the fun out of me" could be changed to "He's knocked the fun out of me". I think you can get away with more short-hand and a more conversational tone as it is internal dialogue. Or "That'd be a reason to leave him" instead of "That would be a reason to leave him". I think what I'm gettting at is that sometimes the language seemed a little stiff for internal voice. Not sure, maybe that's just the way I talk to mysefl!! I guess that you have to make them all sound different verbally which must be hard.
Anyway best of luck with this, edit it up and send it out to agents & publishers, don't languish here in Authonomy!!
Very happy to give you five stars.
Sharda.
http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/

fayha wrote 405 days ago

I have read only chapter one its a very different kind of book. you write brilliantly and I enjoyed the humour.
I didn't get into the story straight away but once I did I loved it. On my watchlist highly starred.

Kim Padgett-Clarke wrote 417 days ago

I wasn't sure quite what to expect when I began reading Conscience. I thought reading something that had no dialogue would be difficult and quite boring but I was pleasantly suprised. You held my attention throughout all three chapters I read so that speaks for itself. The concept is highly original and it works very well. Your style of writing suits the stories. I will go back and read more chapters soon. Well done.

Kim Padgett-Clarke wrote 417 days ago

I wasn't sure quite what to expect when I began reading Conscience. I thought reading something that had no dialogue would be difficult and quite boring but I was pleasantly suprised. You held my attention throughout all three chapters I read so that speaks for itself. The concept is highly original and it works very well. Your style of writing suits the stories very well. I will go back and read more chapters soon. Well done.

Neville wrote 454 days ago

Concience.
By Peter Scholes.


A super book, hilarious, witty, very funny throughout...really enjoyed what I’ve read so far (to chapter fifteen).
Most of the male characters remind me of Tony Hancock who used to be on the radio, that’s some time ago, but occasionally some of his past shows crop up on t.v.
You must have had a great time writing this. I hope so... I'm enjoying reading it.
It’s hard to comment on your book because humour is the main theme and it’s done brilliantly.
This is my type of humour as well, can’t describe it...but it’s there alright.
I intend to read to the end of this, but felt I should say what I thought of it so far.
Many stars and backed-until I get back again, Peter.

Best regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest – The Time Zone.

CGHarris wrote 460 days ago

You have a very original style of writing. It took me a bit to get used to it but once I did I enjoyed it. This is a stand out book for sure. Thanks for the read.

A G Chaudhuri wrote 468 days ago

Dear Peter,

My apologies for the late review.
‘Conscience’ is certainly a very unique idea for a novel.
An entire story told for the most part as a stream of thoughts.

I read the first four chapters and enjoyed them immensely – the disgruntled housewife, the bored and irritable shopkeeper, the horny executive and the malcontent cop. You have shown great depth and range in expressing a variety of emotions in a diverse group of characters. Your writing is clean and professional, and peppered with a healthy dose of humour throughout.

Thereafter, I glanced through a few chapters at random in order to make a proper assessment of your work. It’s not hard to see what you’ve tried to achieve here. I’ve found this approach working very well in some films. But I’ll be a little careful while using it as a literary device, especially in a thriller. The only concern is that twenty chapters introducing twenty different characters only through narrative, no matter how brilliantly done, can get a bit tiresome for readers. Genre fans in particular will be keen to skip the introductions and get straight to the action.

I’d suggest that you intersperse the character intros with snippets of the core plot in order to hold the readers’ attention.
Thereafter, when things finally come together, the climax will be even more enjoyable.

That’s it for now. I hope you find my observations relevant and useful, and look forward to reading the full story later.
My rating: 6 stars (for style). All the very best to you.

Warm regards,
AGC


bunderful wrote 482 days ago

I'm really torn about your novel - I read the first three chapters (so it could be that I would need to read more to be a fair judge) - one the one hand - your characters are raw and real. I think that the voices you create for them are accurate and realistic and sound very similar to our own thoughts / thoughts we may have experienced at some point in our lives. Therein lies the empathy and universality of what you've written. On the other hand, there's a fine line between something that comes across as reality/realistic and something that comes across as full of angst. Sometimes I thought your characters were brilliant and real and human, other times I just found them a bit cranky and bitchy - especially when all three were unhappy with their lot in life. Perhaps everyone is unhappy with their lot in life to some degree and that is what you are trying to say, but if not, I think that your novel could use a bit of tweaking in terms of trying to make the characters seem more well-rounded and human (as in they have moments of happiness and joy along with the angst an pathetic-ness that they exude...)

But I really did enjoy what I read. Your characters are well-formed and believable - they are "everyman" to a certain degree - and that certainly takes skill to be able to write like that...

Sorry it took me a while to return this read. Thanks for supporting "Master of the Miracles" last month.

- Rena

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 491 days ago

Dear Peter

I have read the first five chapters of "Conscience" - a very interesting idea, which works surprisingly well. There are flashes of humour everywhere, as well as all your really accurate observations of life. The uncharitable housewife, the confused shop owner, the skiving company executive. I am always wanting to read the next slice. Very well done! Your empathy and observational talents are an education. Rated.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

Wanttobeawriter wrote 525 days ago
QuinnYA wrote 538 days ago

This is so unique and so different. It shouldn't work as well as it does but I love the concept of writing directly from the conscience. With this many characters, it should feel confusing but it didn't. Each one that I read was individual and varied from the others. it's fun and made me chuckle in a few parts. It gives the reader something to think about which is good but in a light way. A great job on something I've never seen before. A sure winner and will end up on my shelf eventually!

Missy

Philthy wrote 555 days ago

Hi Peter,

So sorry it’s taken so long to get to your book. I’m here now, though. Below are my findings and comments. They are, of course, my humblest opinions, so take them for whatever they’re worth.

Short pitch: Love it.

Long pitch:

My only gripe is that I’m having to read a whole lot of your pitch before I get to the point. Seems to kind of ramble. Be careful not to lose the reader while trying to build the mystery.

Chapter one

“ninety nine” should be hyphenated

Cannot is one word

“just so he can have a bulge” lol great humor

I love the approach of this. Just conscious thought. Very unique, and written very effectively. I would have thought it’d be tough to pull off, but you make it look easy. A credit to your talent.
Great voice, good storytelling. This should do well here. High stars! I will give this some shelf time when I get a spot. It's definitely worthy of a backing.

Best of luck.
Phil
(Deshay of the Woods)


Bill Scott wrote 570 days ago

An entire book written in stream of conscience? Highly original. The housewife has a great voice, however I'm glad it's not in my house. The shop keeper made me laugh. I'm not going to be able to go into the quickmart without wondering what the person behind the counter is thinking. I only had time for four. It's a very ambitous project, I hope you're able to tie all these characters/stories together and I hope you succeed because it's a lot of fun to read.

Best
Bill
HAKTAW HEART

MrKarats wrote 596 days ago

Peter,

I read 24 of your stories. I liked four the most: The Priest, The Husband, The significant other (personal favorite), The cahier.
To be honest, in most of them I felt being unrelated to the monologue, even when there were several people thinking in one story... I don't know what to tell you, you seem to be having your audience on here. Plus, I can see many of them being staged as parts of plays (just my opinion this one), but others I did not get...
I don't want to discourage you, cause your choice to do what you did is admirable on its own merit.

And can't imagine how I can be objecive here... I keep the good stories of yours in mind. They were really enjoyable.

Yannis

Sue50 wrote 596 days ago

Conscience was recommended by CC Brown author of Dark Side. Loved the first 3 chapters! Happy to put you on my shelf. Good Luck!
Sue50

a.morrison712 wrote 608 days ago

I agree with some of the below comments about the pitch. If you want to learn how to craft a good one go no farther. You have an excellent way of drawing in the reader. I just loved it. The pace was perfect for your intended age group. I'd love to know how your students responded to the story! I'll be reading more as time permits. Good luck with this. 6 stars!

Ashley
'Maddy Hatfield and the Magic Locket'

Ivan Amberlake wrote 621 days ago

Conscience

Peter,

The pitches are excellent – I’m highly intrigued.

I’ve read The Housewife - Wow! I love this chapter!

The Shopkeeper is awesome!

Now I see how you planned to make it :) The Husband – superb! I’ve never enjoyed a stream of consciousness so much before!

Thoughts – you are so good at them. You show us all from the inside! This is amazing! I’ve read 6 chapters and will return to read more because this book really stands out. What I can add – I'm eager to know what happens next. There are 20 people here – I’d love to get to know each and every one of them.

Six-star rated with genuine pleasure!
Ivan Amberlake

Dancing Man wrote 624 days ago

A remarkable piece of work with an assured command of voices and comic talent and an original structure. I don't think I can fault the technical side of the interior dialogue except that here and there an abbreviation could usefully replace the longer form ("can't" for "cannot") - copy-editing stuff and barely worth mentioning.

Like other readers I'm curious whether this structure will work as a commercial novel: in some respects it feels as if written for radio. But it deserves to be professionally considered, and I'm happy to back it.

Stopper wrote 632 days ago

Ex LF 40, or is that dormant, or restarted. Review

The first chapter is a gem, and right of the bat it shows the complete hypocrisy that underlies human relationships. The other chapters do similar but none are quite as effective as this, in a way the other chapters kind of reinforce the idea, but the repetition becomes a bit, well repetitive.

There's nothing wrong with the ambition but I do feel that maybe this would be better structured with just two or three vignettes followed by a narrative drive to link them, then repeat if still necessary.
The way it is structured the promise of that narrative drive fades, gets lost amongst the vignettes.

As for the writing, well I wouldn't suggest a change of structure if I didn't like the writing to begin with, the capture of individual voices, the constant questions of consciousness, all this I really like but I do feel it lacks the narrative drive to pull this reader through.

Jim Barrass

AunaJune wrote 641 days ago

Interesting pitch. Not something I would normal look at, but it has a very fascinating way of drawing the reader in. Your writing technique is what I would say elegant, and I really enjoyed reading through your chapters. The dialogue works well, the characters are likeable, and the reader needs more with the end of every page. I really wish this book the best of wishes. I know it would be something I would have on my bookshelf to read over and over again.

Auna June
Catalaysia: The Curse of Five

J.S.Watts wrote 651 days ago

LF40 Review

Chapter 1

Strong characterization. I liked the realistic voice, but by the end I was starting to wonder where it was going.

You might want to think about a punctuation audit, particularly commas.

Chapter 2

Another strong and entertaining voice. I wondered whether it was a little too close in tone to The Housewife – both disgruntled, annoyed with their partners, dissatisfied with their lot.

Chapter 3

A clearly different voice this time – strong and authentic. I am enjoying reading each well crafted vignette, but I am starting to wonder, collectively, where this is headed.

Chapter 4

I like the dual voice approach.

Chapter 5

Another nice vignette, but I’m going to have to come clean. As well written as they are, theses talking heads are starting to get a little samey in my head and the thought of having to read another 14 or 15 is not appealing. I’m going to skim the next few chapters to see where that leaves me.

Chapter 6 – 20

I like The Priest, amongst others, but I am flagging: too many vignettes, not enough conspicuous story line to hold my interest. This may, of course, be something of a self-fulfilling prophecy - I get bored with not having a clear linear story to follow, start skim-reading and therefore miss out on any story that is being tracked through the talking heads – in which case, sorry.

In conclusion, this is well written and individually the talking heads are strong and clear, but collectively they became a bit too overwhelming for me and made for too considered and patient a start. I really wanted to see a stronger story line, but others may not feel the need for a narrative up front as much as I do.

I realise that a more joined-up narrative does kick in after chapter 20, but, as you will have gathered, I was flagging before then.

J.S.Watts
A Darker Moon

Tom Bye wrote 674 days ago

Hello Peter
Book- Conscience-

This book of yours turning out to be a very fast read, all so matter of fact,
At time i thought i was looking at a 'Woody Allen' film.
Everything so modern, sharp and witty, only himself cornered this market.
People brooding, their thoughts flowing, regarding everything that blinks, as they say.
Of course, everyone has an opinion on how the other person should think- i leave my case there!!
The book itself is a very interesting, it's different . it's original, it's very good
Enjoyed reading the first five chapters and then some five or so more further down the line..

good luck with it, and it deserves its high ranking.
tom bye
book- from hugs to kisses'
oblige please and glance at mine and comment or back if you like it .thanks

Joshua Jacobs wrote 674 days ago

The greatest strength in Conscience is the voice. Right away, you capture a stream-of-consciousness writing style that accurately depicts the thoughts of your characters.

Right off the bat, I love the rebellious house wife. “I should maybe keep them on the same key ring but I refuse to because that is what he wants me to do.” Her voice is humorous and her frustrations realistic. While I sure hope my wife doesn’t want to cut off my… well… you know, I do know she’s stubborn like this woman and has probably had some of these same thoughts. I like that you start with her because I feel her perspective is one of the easiest to connect with (so far) and it’s well-crafted.

I also really enjoyed The Husband’s perspective, especially the last two sentences of the chapter. Nice touch.

This is well-edited and polished. Usually I keep track of typos and suggestions, but for the most part, I read this one for enjoyment.

My one and only concern with this is though the pitch promises to tie all of these stories together, it’s difficult to see how they’re going to tie together and what relation they have with one another in the opening chapters. As more perspectives are introduced, it may also become tedious keeping track of all of the characters. From the comments, it sounds like you do a good job of this and tie everything together in the end, but I wonder if the casual reader needs more of a linear, coherent plotline to drive them forward? Just a thought.

This is an ambitious novel with something for everyone. It’s unlike anything I’ve read before. You successfully capture an array of voices that are realistically depicted through their thoughts. The writing is addicting. If you only have time to read the first chapter because you’re running late, then sorry, but you’re going to be late. I found myself reading far beyond my usual first chapter or two. I did eventually pull myself away after Ellen and David’s chapter because I’m on vacation and my wife probably thinks I’m neglecting her, and as I established earlier, I don’t want to upset her too much. I’ll definitely be back for more.

Is there a market for this type of novel? Honestly, I don’t know. But I do know it was entertaining. Check out this novel. It’s a good one. Highly rated and recommended!

Stark Silvercoin wrote 675 days ago

Conscience is a well-crafted tale with a lot of characters. I always admire novels where overlapping characters come together in unexpected ways. Quite a few novels do this to some extent, though normally only with a handful of characters. Very few can handle it with too many beyond four. Stephen King’s Under The Bubble comes to mind as a successful modern tale with lots and lots of characters. Peter Scholes’ Conscience is another.

With so many characters, there are I think twenty main ones here, it would be so easy for the story to slip aside and readers to fall into confusion, but that does not happen. The reason is the very strong characterization and the many differences between the characters. You won’t get a priest mixed up with an introspective invalid. Each character is introduced with their own chapter, and we get to see insights into their thoughts, which really helps us to identify with them.

When the story starts to come together, you will be treated to a lot of a-ha moments. Seemingly miniscule actions of one character will have dramatic affects on another. I’m not sure how author Peter Scholes kept track of everything. Images of his writing desk littered with flow-charts comes to mind. The end result is a unique and well-written novel that is as enjoyable as it is original.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

ChristinaN55 wrote 690 days ago

The first chapter really feels like it has been written by a woman. Lines like "he keeps them (his car keys) in his pocket just so that he can have a bulge" sounds like something a woman would say. In fact the whole first chapter sounds like how a woman would think. But you're a male author, so well done in getting in touch with your feminine side, however bitchy it may be... !
Will be reading more but have starred it already as I already like what I've read.
:)

TheEyesHaveIt wrote 692 days ago

Brilliant and backed.
R

katjay wrote 696 days ago

Unique. Some inspired characterisation. Like a lot of readers, i guess, I had tears in my eyes reading Ch 6. Heartbreaking. I've read up to ch 8 so far and seen some of the characters coming together. Hooked now and will be reading to the end. Kind Regards Kat xx

NCGunner wrote 707 days ago

OK - only have the time to read the 1st page but I am hooked!
Me all over - losing my keys - not the rest - be back when I have the time - in the meantime popped this one on my shelf - thank you