leejohn recent comments

written 719 days ago
cherry

Interesting!!..Since I've been silenced on political propaganda. I think I might enjoy this book! ;)

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written 719 days ago
cherry

Interesting!...Since my mouth has been silenced by the boys in blue on political propaganda. I might enjoy this read!

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written 719 days ago
cherry

Hi Joe

Well, your story has survived what others have failed. 16 WL dropped..7 book shelves terminated.. My earlier quote of ‘Please don’t let me fall asleep’ has been eradicated.

Psalm 89-11: In the beginning you laid the foundation of the earth inside a box, and then the heavens opened in your hands.

Joe, you have a compelling story here, exhilarating characters, moving on to Beth. Well, Dirty Harry is moving in...I wonder what ‘Auntie’ will think of him ?..No don’t tell me up to Chapter 25!..lol

Also like the way you added all your biblical modifiers. The introduction of ‘Eve’ and the tree! ;)

Joe- tradesman to another. I take my hat off to you. Well Done!!!

Book self saved!! 6/6

Leejohn.
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written 722 days ago
cherry

Well done Scott. Wishing you all the best! ;)

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written 726 days ago
cherry

Hi Cara

I was expecting an older person behind the Goldthorpe. lol....You're so young...It seems having read to chapter 5, I'll have to read the whole story again. You do engage with the reader. A beautiful style of creativity, full of imagination. You do display enormous talent... But....like every writer, there is always room for improvement. I just can’t grasp the storyline. We keep moving and jumping to another place without implementing why?...The characters are awesome...The short chapters maybe too short. Maybe you need to fill in the storyline between Chapter 1&2...I will read the whole concept again Sunday,( when the kids are out..ARggggg) making it my mission!! ;)

Leejohn :) view book

written 726 days ago
cherry

Hi Donna

Just added you to my watchlist. Will give it a go Wednesday!

Thanks

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written 726 days ago
cherry

Hi Donna

Just added you to my watchlist. Will give it a go Wednesday!

Thanks

Leejohn view book

written 727 days ago
cherry

Thank you for your comments, Kenneth. Added you to my watchlist..I'll give it a whirl Monday ;)

Thanks

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written 727 days ago
cherry

Hi Scott

I will give your book a read. Love the pre face! ;)

Thanks

Leejohn view book

written 727 days ago
cherry

Well, I've just read the 2nd chapter. I was confused, so I decided to go back and read from the start. it seems you've moved on 3 years. Ok...I think I will read right through to chapter 5 before I comment again. The book had all but dropped into the shopping basket after reading the colourful start. Still a well crafted story. Beautiful character's. (Taalin dead?)...I hope not...There is a hole left between chapters. Maybe leaving the reader with too much to think about so early on...?

I've updated chapter 1. Hope it reads better. :)

Thanks

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written 727 days ago
cherry

Now we know what this creature looks like..Seems to be filled with Human DNA, since it can drive a car. I'm more interested in Reece Orchard at the moment..Can feel a twist in the air. Well done it's keeping me interested. I'll read another chapter Sunday. Hope you can repay the favour! ;)...Zzzzzzzzzzzz ;) lol

Thanks

leejohn view book

written 728 days ago
cherry

Chapter 1. Shadow on the Rainbow.

A streak of red.
Red.

Straight away I was thinking blood from a sword maybe?...Hell no... An unusual start, that left me fascinated how you engaged within my senses.

The colourful opening matched the field around the City of Linuina, as the army marched forth. I loved the portrayal of Taalin. I’m hoping the Dove will deliver the message to her love... I hope so!! Lol

A start that deserves to be on any book shelve!
I’ll read another chapter before the weekend.

Thanks

Leejohn.
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written 733 days ago
cherry

Your book is on my book shelve. I liked the intro. I will start the first chapter tonight! Will it fall, or will it stay!!!

Leejohn view book

written 733 days ago
cherry

Okay. I'll start tomorrow. I've just removed two books from my book shelve. Five book chapters to read first.

Thanks

Leejohn

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written 733 days ago
cherry

I randomly selected five books and placed those on my book shelve; the first two were removed after the first chapter. Now I'm ready to start: Isles End!

I will only carry on reading if I'm intrigued within the first five minutes; because that is all the time you've got before the book is dropped into the shopping trolley.

I started to read the first chapter and I thought 'Please don't let me fall asleep' Then came the lifesaver... He peered down into the dark cavity of the box..." Hello there!" came a voice.

I will read the second chapter tomorrow!

Leejohn. :) view book

written 1807 days ago
cherry

Hi Jeffrey. I have to agree with Elaina. Your pitch needs work, if you are to capture the audience pal. That should be your priority right now, because it would be mine.

Having read the first two chapters.WOW..Awesome characterization. It made me feel like some one had connected me to a set of jump leads, leaving me feeling electromagnetic. I just wanted to keep on reading beyond chapter two. You have succeeded where many fail Jeff, and that is, the book has already fell into the shopping basket. .......WELL DONE!

Now for keeping the writers happy on authonomy. Always a tall order to say the least. I carried on reading through to chapter five. Well, I have to say your strength is how you combated the narrative. A master stoke, from an extremely talented individual. I found the story smooth. However, the story started to drag, instead of Flourishing through the doorways. Some times too much characterization can swallow the main aspect of the story!

Once again only a suggestion. Will be back later in week. ( Shelved) Rank 1037? Come on people!!

Leejohn.
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