My impressions David, for what they are worth.
This is 'haute cuisine' writing that stimulates the reader in many ways, satisfying on an intellectual, emotional and sensual level. The problem with reading straight from the screen is the nakedness of the narrative; with a book in your hand, an illustrated cover, you accustom yourself to the prose in advance. Diving straight into your story feels like a sink or swim experience. You are bombarded with names and information I struggled to assimilate and I felt intellectually riled, if I'm honest. But the dancing lyricism of the prose, vivid details and the wonderful interlaced imagery worked at snaring my attention..'eyes wrinkle in the tides of light...'
Arthur(.) needs a full stop.
The early paragraphs hold much promise without giving away too much of the premise. Instead the experience of being a boy on the beach playing cricket with his mates, and the intensity that such games held, works very well. You are true to the way boys 'name' themselves, resisting the temptation to capitulate and call them by their real names earlier during the game.
The dialogue rings true and, like the prose, is that little bit taxing so that the reader still needs to mentally 'lean forward'.
It's a wonderful read, both intricate and dense. I wish you well with it in these tepid days of lightweight reads.
6 stars and on WL.
John
Dropping Babies view book

Very enjoyable read Benedict. It's seamless prose, well-polished presentation and above all else some very engaging, fresh characters. That's all about reading as a writer but I was swiftly enjoying this as a reader; the humour and immediacy of the MC drew me in and kept me engaged.
No mistakes spotted sadly as i'd love to correct an English teacher ;))
6 stars. On my WL for now and plan to give a spin on the shelf during May.
All the Best!
John
Dropping Babies. view book

How's the form Joseph. Glad i found this-via Chris Carr's shelf. Scanning the comments this is dividing people into the 'loved it' or 'left cold' groups. I'm more in the former as the subject matter is fascinating and the psychological depth of the narrative satisfies my interest. The writing is tight and contained, no high-faluting, which is just as the MC should sound.
What I'd change-maybe the intial meeting with the dowdy topped woman, the MC's eye, her body language, the MC's opening line etc could be emphasised more as you want to see 'how' he does it as well as the 'why'. The animal, hormonal meeting of it all. There is a lot of untapped taut mileage in that initial encounter which is hurried through.
Otherwise one of the better 'viseral' reads on this site and worthy of praise.
High stars and on WL.
Good Luck!
John
Dropping Babies. view book

One word and that is-Sweeping. This has a majestic feel to it, completely assured voice, and statesman-like authority. Clearly impeccably researched and pitched as authentically as it could be whilst underlaced with narrative charm, tension and oh-my romance. And all starting on St Patrick's Day!
Because the setting is so distracting-in a good way- and immersive you are thoroughly primed for the sweet anticipation of the Indian girl/white soldier tale. The reader can easily trust this writer early on not to fail when handling such a wrought topic.
I can see why it's so high up the rankings.
On WL and 6stars.
Thank you,
John
Dropping Babies view book

Chaps 1-2.
Engaging enough and plenty of depth under what at first glance seems quite a thin remit i.e the importance of taking part, not just winning.
Dialogue in the second chapter-between MC and Barry started to sound too long and perfect-as if it was written on a guidance pamphlet-too well-meaning adult, in my view. The dialogue in chap one much better.
''You're a tough competitor '' Jacob. You seem....'' Second speech marks misplaced.
Place and character work well, the exposition folded in seamlessly enough. My mind started to wander with the description of the trophies but I think I understand why it is emphasised at this point. No real 'obvious' characters, each seem real enough.
Tension-that's carried by the competition and whether they'll be allowed to compete. Is that enough? I genuinely don't know but I'm not in the target audience am I.
Good Luck with it Owen and I hope you get the constructive advice this site is good for.
All the Best!
John
Dropping Babies-would appreciated a return read. view book

Hello Toby,
A BHCG review for the weekend.
The first sentence sets the quintessentially English tone that remains consistent throughout. It reminds me of a duck, serene and unflustered above the water line with furious paddling underneath. That's how Michael Caine describes good acting and that led me on to remember how Richard Burton described Clint Eastwood's style as dynamic lethargy. The pace and content are slightly one speed, my mind was beginning to wander towards the end of the first third of chapter one untill I saw 'gun'. This happens again later, each time a hook is delivered as the writer recognises it is needed. The content follows the pattern of interesting first few paragraphs becoming a bit tedious towards the end of the first third of the chapter-eg repetitive description of carriages-then something 'exciting' needs to be ushered in. It's abit like meeting someone at a party, the initial interest in meeting someone new is sated then there is a lull when both of you try to think of something interesting whilst keeping the conversation going.
'I walked...I listened...I hurried' all appear in close proximity in one paragrapgh at the end of chapter two.
That said the writing is friction-free, personable and engaging. The dialogue worked excellently between the MC and the ticket inspector, suitably veiled with the solicitor. The intrigue quotient flares up with the killer's reappearance but i found it hard to separate it from the pattern I mentioned above. The existential aspects are dealt with economically without any sign of self-indulgence which suits the MC perfectly.
I enjoyed it. Would read more. The above are subjective responses so please disregard if you want, or better still tear into my own story.
5 stars, on WL.
John
Dropping Babies view book

Chapters 1-3 probably too early in the morning.
I really don't know what to say about this and I have a sneaking suspicion that that means it is very good. There's alot of everything here-stimulating and interesting ideas, plausible characters and a great 'hook'-as well as lovely crude swear-words to keep it from sounding too esoteric.
The noir feel is there in the middle rather than painted on for effect-a big plus eg the MCs internal thoughts are chipped in stone and never meandering. The imagery is sometimes entirely your own-difficult to penetrate-eg 1970's dementia but beguiling enough to keep the reader's interest. I found no typos and the presentation is polished, it feels technically ok re paragragh length, mix of dialogue and prose.
Very good Dave. 6 stars and WL for now. Maybe I'll have more concrete views after the 'necessary medicine' of the morning shift-3 cups of black coffee.
All the Best!
John
Dropping Babies
view book

Read the first 4 chapters then scanned down and began again with the last three.
It lives up to its premise-loud and obnoxious-with enough momentum in the narrative to engage and entertain. Overall it's literary GBH with alliterations and porno terminology all over the place-initially I found them enteratining but the effect did attenuate with the repetition.
This will clearly appeal to lads, ladettes and those, like myself, just cresting the hill into middle-age and looking back fondly on their wilder days.
'cock-work' )doesn't need clock work explanation), the heavy use of alliteration, and at times prolonged digressions eg Candy and the porno-mag, would be the weak points. Otherwise this delivers on its promise.
High stars and Good Luck,
John view book

Hello Sharda,
Chaps 1-3. I honestly didn't realise this was YA untill I scanned through the other reviews. I read it as adult fiction and had no problems enjoying it on that level.
Cracking read with a rich, fully formed narrative that really engages. The death scene at the start works, without too much sentimentality, in creating an empathy for the affected characters.
I wondered a liitle about the monkey 'sitting laconically' but in the end decided this is mostly about your sense of fun in the prose which comes through at various points. Overused phrase I know but the writing is very assured because you lead the reader seamlessly through an evolving narrative without ever pushing or pulling them along.
It's very good and Best of Luck with it.
6 stars, on WL.
John
Dropping Babies-would appreciate a return read. view book

Powerful, tense narration. The imagery comes across as monochrome in the way good gothic writing does. I think I understand the brooding, saturated weather scene atthe start that permeates the whole story but it is a little indulgent-two consecutive sentences with 'like' in them suggests this. There again effective imagery so any editing might be painful...
For my money the first chapter is too long. With the leaden atmosphere and density in the prose it's almost claustraphobic but that suits the genre very well. But I found myself feeling oppressed by the chapter length.
The sister's relationship is interesting from the start and clearly will develope.
I enjoyed the read, it's not my usual tipple but it's very entertaining.
6 stars from me.
Thank you.
John
Dropping Babies. view book

Hello Andrew,
Read Forged Steele.
When this gets going it really gets going. The reader is wanting and waiting for the action-all the components are in place-and it serves up the treats well. The pace is, if anything, too fast. Alot of exposition delievered early to appease the short story nature of the narrative. I reckon there is a lot more taut mileage in this idea-the ex-pat Ninja in the Wild West-and you have the skills to portray it. A ballsy, entertaining read nonetheless.
Thank you.
John
Dropping Babies view book

I read the first 3 chapters. My expectations before reading were-probably horrible abuse, maybe self-pitying with a dose of the vainity that can come with public 'confessionals'. What I read mainly concerned the institutional cruelty that kills the human spirit, a crime in any age group but especially evil with children, but none of the rest.
In my view this has a limited potential when it comes to mainstream publishing. Personal experience or a particular interest within this area would make this story very relevant. The writing is of a fine, nuanced quality that makes it accessible, wise and humourous. It almost feels like an old don recalling an academic career at times.
Best Wishes and Best of Luck with it.
John
Dropping Babies. view book

A pleasure to read-funny and enlightening-without ever being high-faluting. Easy to praise, even if one is wary about 'blowing smoke up the author's' rectum ;)
Thank you for a rewarding read. This is both familiar-in the English sense of urbane storytelling-and unique in that the voice is new and untarnished.
On my WL and 6 stars.
All the Best,
John view book

First 4 chapters.
Very entertaining and effective. Not my usual bag and not the usual sentimental, preachy bukaka that you can get in this genre. Slick writing with effective cliffhangers and plot hints to satisfy all.
'Lucky I was here' needs to be on new line.
Overall, very good. 6 stars and on WL.
And I'm desparate for some beans on toast!
John
Dropping Babies view book

First chapter.
This is completely absorbing writing. A feast for the senses and an immersive experience in other peoples lives, some much so, that you forget about your own for a while. If that isn't the essense of fine storytelling then I don't know what is.
I don't know why, as there is nothing in the narrative to suggest it directly, but I'm left with one overriding image-small waves breaking over wet sand, edging the tide further up each time, untill you realise with a shock you are ankle deep in the sea.
No subjective criticisms I'm afriad.
On WL, 6 stars.
Thank you for a superb read.
John
Dropping Babies. view book

Stiletto sharp writing delivering a flurry of cuts in the blink of an eye. As all good fast-paced satire should. You know what you will be getting from the pitches and it delivers in spades with accessible, cinematic scenery. I love the machiavellian baddy, as a good Catholic boy should, with an equal feeling of pity for the 'heros' that find themselves in the other corner of the ring.
The danger with this type of intelligent narrative, in my view, is that it becomes smug and self-satisfied. Not so here I'm glad to say.
Thanks for a great, entertaining read.
John
Dropping Babies view book

Return read chaps 1-3.
I'd half dismissed this, if I'm honest, before starting as the LP is of a 'type'. But within a few sentences this grips you by the throat and draws you in. Great start! Chap 2-slows down the pace, but works well at developing character interest and backstory. Dialogue driven-slightly over-wordy dialogue is places. Chap 3 brings in the action.
Pace is ok throughout.
Good read thank you. High stars.
John view book

Fantastic writing.
I start these reviews wondering how far I'll get before something upsets the flow with the narrative. But the smoothness to your writing is almost soapy. You glide through it.
The sentence 'I've taken the guided tour through Hell and have...' was the point where I felt a slight hiccup but only because it is such a huge statement-a big ask. You have set yourself a signicant task in justifying that statement. But I feel confident you wouldn't come up short.
Delicious humour.
I'll probably cheapen any meaning my words have now by mentioning Holden Caulfield but that is who I am reminded of here. Not because they are similar, more so how they are conveyed to the reader's imagination.
Thank you Gerald.
To be backed soon.
Like the blog btw, is that why don't you leave more comments here on Autho?
John
Dropping Babies view book

Hello Adam,
Read 1-6. Took about an hour last night which brings to me my overriding impression-this is slightly too indulgent.
Sorry to start with that, the bottom line is that one is interested, engaged and entertained along the way. Cajouled into continuing as the way the story unfolds is very well controlled and assured.
Generally very good writing. It has that something that good fantasy writers have-a poetic lassitude that sweeps all before it.
'indescribable colour' just sounds too empathic, bordering on silly to me. Typo 2nd parag chap 1- 'but if never come' .
My brutal advice would be to shear away 20% of the prose and a good bit of this could take place in the prologue which feels top-heavy. But I'm not a fantasy writer/reader generally so please dismiss if you think I'm talking tarmac.
All the best. High stars and on WL.
John
Dropping Babies-would appreciate a return read. view book

Hello Eric,
Chaps 1-5, stopped only due to my shift beginning in earnest.
From time to time you find these great stories relatively low in the ranks that really sparkle. And it's so invigorating!
Within the first few paragraphs I knew the emphasis would be on the MC and his urbane S.O.H to the slight cost of the secondary characters (eg the Irish writing tutor/the programmer) who would not be developed and arrive in the narrative 'finished' and 'of a type'.
So the MC has to engage quickly and effectively and this is definitely achieved-with knobs on!
Great flow, looks technically polished and slick with everything seamlessly interwoven-exposition, dialogue, setting and characterisation.
For my money it's a quintessentially English style and humour, with rich seams of wisdom, that would have made me think of Tom Sharpe, if I hadn't seen the reference already. I bought his books at Woolworths as a 12yr old after seeing some worldly backpackers discussing his merits. And the covers were like cartoons. Something very familiar and comforting, that being slighty mad and questioning of ones surroundings was OK, and your story evokes the same feeling.
Thank you for a great read! Best of Luck with the on-line sales.
6 stars and WL.
John
Dropping Babies view book