Having just finished chapter 7, this can truly be described as gruesomely fascinating. I have to admit to not really wanting to go past chapter 1 as depictions of violence against children really repel me, but, self evidently, I have been drawn in by the plot and razor-sharp quality of your writing. I can't really add anything more than what's already been said about this fine piece of writing, and that is from someone who doesn't normally stray into this genre. view book

This is skilfully written in an easy-reading style, which I think is pitched just right for a youthful audience. The pace is well moderated and how could anybody not have some empathy with the four-legged protagonists!
I'm happy to back this. view book

I'm not familiar with this genre, so I can only offer you my overall impression, but I hope it is of some value. Having read to the end of ch 2, I feel your narrative could be pared down somewhat, and a fair few adjectives dispensed with. The nature of a thriller suggests a sparser approach to me - less explanation, let the main character's thinking unfold more subtley through the story.

I can see that a high-rolling story like this would have immense appeal in the thriller market and I really do wish you all success with it. view book

This is razor-sharp writing and a piercing insight into Gerard's struggle with his inner demons and his efforts to keep them at bay. The way you build Ruth's character is totally convincing, and your writing style is faultless. What has stayed in my mind is your reference to the 'parboiled skin' on her bony old elbows - true verbal artistry. You weave inchoate menace into what would in book form be 'unputdownable'. When I've rested my eyes awhile I intend to return to this - it is utterly absorbing. Backed, of course. view book

I congratulate you on polished writing which is very easy to read. You conjure up engaging characters which doesn't always happen with fantasy tales, in my fairly limited experience, and your opening is paced sufficiently to draw the reader in and provide sufficient information to intrigue without overloading. Your powers of description are pretty impressive too, so in all, how could I not back this book? view book

Dear lord, this is dark and I have to admit to almost not venturing past the first chapter, but I'm awfully glad I did. Your black humour is sublime and I've sat here reading this without pause. How deliciously outside the good taste loop (as opposed to the froot loop) it is. The way you build your characters is masterful and your dialogue convincing even when it's weird. (As an aside, I'm not quite sure what the underscoring indicates.). The quality of your writing is awesome and makes even such bizarre subject matter a joy to read about: if it were in book form, I certainly wouldn't be able to put it down. Backed. view book

Cor, does this fit into the post-modern stream of consciousness irony box? It is a sort of verbal impressionist painting of disaffection and all its corollaries, with dark splats of coarse humour. You are the Jackson Pollock of the literary world dear boy. Backed for sheer originality and mastery of the vernacular, and you deserve to succeed with your artistry and insight, far more than the aforementioned whose point has always rather escaped me, if truth be told. view book

Ana - I am astounded that English is not your first language: this is superbly well written and the plot so very deftly woven. I've read all three chapters in one sitting and if it were a book, I'd find it hard to put down. This has such promise, it really does deserve to be published. My only suggestion on presentation would be that you perhaps trim some of your adverbs - a slightly crisper style would suit the story and maintain the tension even better.

Shelved, of course. view book

I've finished chapter 3 and you've certainly got a lively style which gives the story great characterisation. I have to admit to not really being a great reader of this sort of action story, and in the spirit of constructive observation, I did find your delivery perhaps a little too ornate on occasion. Not that I'm qualified to say, but I think if your delivery were shorter, sharper and lingered less on descriptive passages in places, it would be more fitting to the story and give it a bit more 'punch'. A complete pedantic nit-pick here, but the act of stepping into the final shoe sounded weird to me - sounds like she had a huge choice!
Good luck with this, happy to give it a spell on the shelf. view book

After rather more than a couple of days, here I am at last. Your opening chapter skilfully paints a vivid and entrancing picture, managing to avoid any 'twee' pitfalls into which this genre can so easily lapse (not that I am expert, as I didn't even manage to finish the Hobbit...). Your character development is convincing and the story well paced, thus deserving of a spell on my shelf. Good luck! view book

As someone guilty of over-egging my adverbs and therefore probably not the best judge, I think this would present a more 'polished' read if you removed some of your descriptive passages which aren't essential to building the story. For instance, I felt my attention begin to wander when you described Sheila's hairstyle and outfit, although I can see that it provides a fitting contrast to the harsh events which follow.

How easily we forget the dreadful times endured in Belfast, and hats off to you for incorporating romance into what at times looks like a pretty depressing mix! view book

Hello Bob, I'm here at Jasper331's suggestion. I don't know whether it's my rather prolonged absence from the site, but I found my attention wandering a bit during the first chapter. I just feel you could make this a bit 'crisper' in places so that it sort of keeps pace with the action. It's a really intriguing storyline however, so I'm happy to give it a spin on the old shelf.
Best wishes
Faith view book

I believe this will appeal enormously to children, who have the ability to absorb such fine story telling without bringing any preconceived judgement to bear. I found the juxtaposition of magic and modernity a bit difficult to assimilate, and in places I found the dialogue perhaps a little stilted, but I am well and truly into jaded adulthood; I can however see that the overall effect achieved weaves a splendidly spooky backdrop to what promises to be a pretty bracing adventure. This is really imaginative stuff and therefore, backed. view book

Bob at last - here I am. I have to say this is not a genre to which I'm naturally drawn, partly I suspect because of my rather short attention span, but I must congratulate you on accomplished writing and a pretty mind-bending plot. I think that in places a slightly more 'spare' style would suit the subject matter better, but an author's style, if half decent, which yours is, is what gives a book its own unique 'flavour', which I am happy to back on this occasion.
Best wishes, Faith view book

Stuart, I've just read right through to chapter 6. This is fine writing and I can offer no humble pointers as to what could possibly improve it. Your characters, scene-setting and dialogue are faultless, and the plot promising (although being wet and left leaning or whatever I am, I'm desperate for an equitable outcome). This could so easily be turned into a film and is definitely of a calibre to justify publication.

This probably qualifies as pedantry, but in chapter 4, you say that gardenias filled his nose - I would suggest the addition of the words 'scent of' . Yeah, that is being pedantic, but, hey... Anyhow, a superb piece of writing and on my shelf without hesitation. Thank you for bringing your superb work to my attention. view book

I think your first chapter needs just a bit of tightening up with the prose, making it a bit more 'punchy' in style, as after that it improves hugely with excellent dialogue and a well paced plot-line with plenty of medical intrigue and convincing characters. Without doing the nit-picking thing, the first chapter struck me as a tad melodramatic in parts, which is inappropriate for the subject, I would suggest, and it belies the quality of the writing which follows.

Apart from this minor aspect which is easily addressed, I think you have an excellent thriller here with an inventive twist and I certainly intend to read on - medical stuff fascinates me. Shelved. view book

Hello Kim, I think you have pitched this perfectly for YA, even though it's not my area of expertise (actually, that sounds pompous - I have no literary expertise at all - what I meant was, my children have now grown up!). Your opening is a good hook and in Sam you've created a really likeable character with whom readers can empathise, with a very convincing line in the sort of dialogue lads of his age would use. The pace of the story is well measured, and it was a sort of relief when Leesha entered the fray to offer some comfort to Sam. You can't help but want to read on and see what transpires. Very inventive. So - on my shelf. view book

Iva, I'm so glad you brought yourself to my attention. Your opening conjures up a refreshingly different and humorous scene and an immediately likeable heroine. The pace of events is well measured and I find your historical detail fascinating.

Your dialogue sounds authentic and your general writing style is a joy to read. It has real polish. This is one I would definitely want to read to the end - the plot is intriguing - and I am thus happy to give it a space on my shelf. view book

Your style of writing really appeals to me and I've just read straight through to the end of chapter 4, so carried along with your narrator am I. The texture of your prose is rich and your subject matter contemporaneous - a mix that works really well, with the bonus of splendid deadpan humour. I need to stop for a little digesting time before continuing (that and the necessity to do some work), but that to me is an indication of your well-honed but exuberant use of language. Which neatly brings me to a typo-pick: towards the end of chapter 4 you make reference to Rory who honed into sight - I think that should be hoved. Other than that, in places I would use a full stop where you have commas, but that is so minor that it really doesn't detract from what to me is a really appealing piece of writing.

This needs to be in book form. Meanwhile, on my shelf, obviously! view book

I really like the way you've structured this - a cunning device to give a hint of the plot simultaneously providing sufficient backstory, all in an easily flowing, chatty style which contains a subtle undercurrent of humour. Your MC is instantly likeable and entirely credible, and I love the slight 'twist' that she's also a Wiccan. Add to that the convoluted relationships with which she becomes surrounded and you've got a book that I'd certainly read avidly to the end. I've just read all five chapters straight through and would love to read more. A prime candidate for my shelf. view book