Love the first line. 'Know' should be 'knew' - next thing I knew... - otherwise carries on well as as well. I don't back unless I can read the end - ending is so much harder than beginning - but lots of luck and I'm sure you'll make it. view book

I think you've pitched this pretty much dead right. If you want suggestions, some form of bibliography where all books etc mentioned are brought together in one chunk might help, but it's by no means necessary. view book

This promises to be really good. There are quite a few glitches which you will no doubt spot on a rigorous edit, but you need to bash on and finish it then do the boring bit later.Good luck! view book

The ending didn't disappoint. Backed. view book

You write really well, and I am quite incapable of reading it. This will either be the next On The Road or Jonathan Livingstone Seagull type cult book, or it will sink without trace. I suspect not Harper Collins material, though.... view book

I agree with 'promising' and also that it needs tidying up. I advise bashing on and finishing, then doing a thorough rewrite later on. Clever idea to upload five times; now time for some serious writing... view book

So far so stupendous....I don't back incomplete (endings are so much harder than beginnings) but 6 stars and watching... view book

There's some really good writing here. but I think I would agree with Paul House - don't try so hard! Keep it simple and just tell the story. Let it speak for itself...Good luck! view book

Not quite sure what's happening here - no sign of life for 18 months, then suddenly you update... so obviously you think, rightly, that you have something worth working on. Great idea to write from the angle of the bad guys, but I think it still needs some work. Some of the dialogue is excellent, but some feels unnatural. A load of apostrophes would help. 'Couldn't', 'we're', that sort of thing. A few typos, but you'll pick them up eventually. Tighten it up and it will be terrific. Good luck. view book

Your legal background makes you ideally placed to deal with your subject matter, but I think you need to bring the same attention to detail to your writing that you presumably bring to your work. In places it's excellent, but let down by occasional clunky sentences and odd choice of words - eg 'he exited from the carriage forthrightly...'
Maybe if you tried reading it aloud to yourself you would get a better feel for the flow. Don't give up, though. You've definitely found a gap in the market. view book

Some great ideas and excellent names, but I think it misses out on 'fast-paced' by having too much description. Personally, I would cut some adjectives and tighten it up a bit, but then perhaps I'm an ass... view book

I guess what you are doing is testing the water to see if you can make it as a writer. My answer would be yes, but there's a way to go yet. What you have here is fine, bar the odd glitch that an editor could deal with. However it seems a shame that you are going down the science fiction/fantasy route when as a Chinese person with a great command of English you are in a unique position to offer us something contemporary and truthful. I'm not suggesting non-fiction, just something more grounded in reality. There's a lot of Indian stuff about, but I'm not aware of a lot of Chinese.You could corner the market... view book

Terrific idea and spot on for the age group you're aiming at. I would tighten the writing up - fewer adjectives, shorter sentences - after which I think you'll have a winner. view book

I was having trouble working out what to say then read cooee's review... which more or less says it all. Basically, Where She Lies is excellent, but I think a fairly vigorous prune would make it better still. The padding is well written, but it's still padding. Good luck! view book

I'm soooo depressed... If you, a self-confessed smartarse, haven't got a publisher for this what hope is there for the rest of us? Just off to rearrange my shelf... view book

Good ending, and endings aren't easy...and it's nearly good all the way through. You have some slack to play with, so I would suggest a drastic prune. Just go through and cut out some unnecessary padding. When you've done that you will have a really great book here. Good luck ( and cheer up!) view book

Still going well, still getting better. I think there are places where you could make it a bit snappier - shorten sentences, leave bits out - eg do you actually need 'whoever that might turn out to be' at the end of Chapter 13?
And I love the idea of Teaco's carp park, but I guess you'll spot that and change it! Have now uploaded my Canarian walk and am mulling over alternative formats... view book

This is really well written - I love the disclaimer at the beginning - and anyone who can make a misery memoir funny has to do well. I don't back incomplete - endings are so much harder to do well than beginnings - but I wish you lots of luck with it. Authonomy seems fairly heavily weighted towards fiction, particularly fantasy,so I doubt you'll do as well as you deserve, but if it goes on as well as it begins I'm sure a more specialist publisher will snap it up. view book

There is some really good writing here and it's well worth continuing with. My advice would be: 1. Finish it 2: Tidy up a few bits of sloppy punctuation and the odd chunk that doesn't flow as well as the rest. 3: Submit to a specialist publisher who just deals with Westerns. I'm fairly sure there is one, but don't know the name, sorry. Good luck! view book

This is doomed as a chat session - I don't do friends (see my profile) and you only do them. However...
if I knew the answers I'd be the successful writer we all aspire to be, but I'll try. It's a really long book. The dialogue is punchy and crisp. The narrative (is that the right word?) is more leisurely and descriptive. It's good, but it's a different type of read. I would do a drastic prune of the narrative and bring the style into line with the - stunning - dialogue. But hey, what do I know? A return read would be appreciated, obviously! view book