The Gimpy Guido, whom most of you know as Dean Lombardo, has challenged me to a special grudge match in the Authonomy Arena. So sit back and watch me tear him to pieces.

THE CONTENDERS:

JANE WINTERREISE COLT from Astral Sea: The Pandora Project (no longer on Autho)
A 5'6",120 lb 22-year-old with long, wavy, dark brown hair and large, dark brown eyes. She has a fair complexion and is wearing a sleeveless, knee-length white dress with a loose flowy skirt. She's ditched her spiky heels so it'll be easier to climb trees. Her hair is hanging loose, but she has an elastic on her wrist in case she needs to tie it up.

"BIG" JOE O'DONNELL from Space Games
A six-foot-and-change, 225 lb hulk with dyed blond hair that is closely cropped. He is wearing a pink T-shirt (apparently to raise awareness for breast cancer), black Everlast shorts, and is barefoot.

THE REFEREE:

ARIANA THE KNIGHT from a work-in-progress by Lisa Toohey
A 5'6" 25-year-old who is all muscle. She has auburn locks cut fairly short and has been training as a knight since the age of 8. She has an olfactory condition.

THE ENVIRONMENT:

A jungle that has sprung up at the center of the very large Arena. There are tall trees with lots of twisting branches and strong vines hanging off of them, as well as mud pits and large boulders. In a clearing at the center of the jungle is a pile of non-lethal weapons: paintball guns, horse whips, bamboo sticks, wooden daggers.

THE RULES:

Since The Gimpy Guido has issues paying attention, every time one of us makes a mistake in continuity, Ariana will swoop in and punish the erroneous writer's character. She will also punish characters for anything she deems lazy writing.

Posted: 12/06/2012 18:17:41
Last Edit: 12/06/2012 20:53:06 by liberscriptus

"All right you two lets have a clean fight!"

Posted: 12/06/2012 18:22:45

Jane approached the edge of the clearing in the jungle, eyeing the pile of weapons as she waited for the ref to ring the starting bell. In the distance, the Arena crowd buzzed with excitement.

She smirked. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but she was certain that they were cheering for her over that empty-headed jock the Arena people had pitted her against.

A breeze blew through the Arena, causing her white, knee-length skirt to whip around her knees and her long, dark hair to blow across her face. She shook her head, milking her image for the cameras.

"C'mon Joe. You wanted this match, didn't you?"

Posted: 12/06/2012 18:41:40

Joe glared at Jane Colt, then with a scowl he turned to Ariana who was busy tidying up the place.

"Hey, Ariana--because Janie here cheats so much, would you mind showing her which moves are legal and which are not?"

Posted: 12/06/2012 18:45:43

Joe chuckled at Jane's impatience. He shot her a defiant look, then walked over to the food table and grabbed a sandwich. Returning to the foot of the jungle, he took a bite. "Chicken, umm," he said, licking his lips. "You know all about chicken, don't you, Janie? Like last night when you failed to show after I challenged you."

Posted: 12/06/2012 19:01:54

[Hm... on second thought, maybe Dean LAMEbardo is a better nickname...]

Jane had no idea what the brains-in-his-biceps lout was talking about, so she just gave him a bored look.

"Oh quit your bellowing. Didn't your mom ever tell you not to speak with your mouth full?"

Posted: 12/06/2012 19:08:46
Last Edit: 12/06/2012 19:14:52 by liberscriptus

Okay folks here we go. Dean i want you to read carefully before you post! Liber I want you to suck it up! No rewriting his posts. If either of you have ano issue call for a 'replay' and i will hand down the verdict.
"Joe, Jane. Go kill eachother... But nicely please."

Posted: 12/06/2012 19:17:11

(May I take a turn now?)

Posted: 12/06/2012 19:28:15

Jane rushed into the clearing, grabbed a paintball gun and a three foot long bamboo stick, then ducked behind a tree. She peered around its thick trunk, wondering whether Joe had gone for the weapons or if he was going to rely on his lumbering brute strength again.

Posted: 12/06/2012 19:39:50

Joe bolted through the jungle after Jane, then dove to the ground, getting low. He knew she'd grabbed the paintball gun and a stick so he'd have to keep his head down for a while. He crawled behind the cover of some rocks and reached for the cat-o-nine tails.

It infuriated him that since coming into The Arena, he'd had to play by their rules, mostly Jane Colt's double-standard rules. They could kick him anywhere, touch him anywhere, dump rotten tomatoes on him, walk all over him, even spit on him, and he couldn't even slap them in certain areas, couldn't reach for the weapons or remote control devices they'd tucked under their clothing. And what really got under his collar was Jane's popularity--she'd be cashing in on a small fortune with the production of "Astral Sea," while his own show "Space Games" was still in audition mode, a precarious state at best. This latter fact grated at him no less than Jane Colt's singing voice, which he'd heard when she'd taken center stage to belt out that bogus song of hers. At first, Joe had thought someone in the crowd had stepped on a cat's tail. Then, of course, there were all the hijackings in which Jane had interrupted Joe during promotional TV and radio spots, or insulted him in the mainstream press.

Seething with anger, but remaining low, Joe circled the clearing, stopping when he was several feet away from her, behind the cover of the giant fronds of a glass plant. He stood and brought the whip back. When he saw Jane turn to survey the plant cover behind which he hid, Joe brought the whip forward and struck at the only spot he felt the unfair rules would allow him.

Crack.

And the prickly lashes struck the top of Jane Colt's foot and she did a clumsy little dance. Joe charged her, delighted by his opening strike.

Posted: 12/06/2012 19:56:20