My sex scenes tend to be fairly short. It depends on the tone of your narrative. The edited version gives a comical feel to it. So I would hope the rest of the story matches the comical feel.
This is from one of my short stories.
And then they did it.
I decided to edit it back from the original which was a bit too extended.
And then they... you know... did it.
I always think when writing sex scenes that a lot of the allure is in what you don't describe and leave to the reader's imagination, so the edited version is, in its way, more graphic.