Kendall,

I was so impressed with your book. It was really a pleasure to break into it. I read through chapter four, but I will definitely return to finish it up. You have captured my imagination... I hope you don't mind, I found a couple easy fixes that you might like to know about.

"His only vision was(,) like the tunnel which now…" I don’t think you need the comma

"And momentarily focussed (focused)…"

"The tears fell with ease and speed (sped) along their familiar path..."


"Yet Jacob had not the inclination to pay attention to the male presence felt opposite and sensed by the powerful pupils…." This reads a little awkward. And I don't think you intended it, but it almost sounds like the stranger is intimately attracted to Jacob.

I hope I didn't over-step my boundaries. I do truly love your book and will be back to read the rest!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood