Pavese's messages

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Adam Richardson wrote 2 days ago   

Hi Pav,

Looking forward to your comments (in your own time).
I myself have to address the beginning of my book too.
Definately stick with it as the concept is great - the challenge now is to polish (keeping the reader in mind) what you have.

Revisit chapter one and once done I will have another look.

Speak soon.


yoann wrote 3 days ago   

Hi Pavese,

Thanks for adding my novel to your watchlist. I've done the same for yours and I'll comment on it when I get to it!

Looking forward to reading your novel!

Cariad wrote 3 days ago   

Message to all YALFers,

A big thank-you to everyone who reviewed over the last fortnight. I hope The Imagineer found it useful. Sorry for the delays over Easter, but I’m pleased to announce that the book-of-the-fortnight from today until the 5th May will be K.C’s ‘Bait’ (or see first page of thread.) K.C. will be giving us an idea of the sort of critique she’s after asap, so keep an eye on YALF.


Adam Richardson wrote 3 days ago   

Hi Pavese,

I'd really appreciate this as although I've set it in both children's and YA age groups I feel (from the feedback I've received thus far) that this book will be better placed as a YA piece.

All comments/feedback greatfully received.

Thanks for your time.

Kind regards,


karenpink01 wrote 4 days ago   

Thank you, I appreciate your time and it will be great to get some feedback.


karenpink01 wrote 4 days ago   

Thank you, I appreciate your time and it will be great to get some feedback.


Pippa Whitethorn wrote 9 days ago   

I'm glad I managed to write something helpful :-)

Thanks for your offer of a return read. Any comments on Shuffle would be helpful - maybe on the pitch which I've just rewritten (I am especially bad at pitches) and the first chapter, which I had a comment from Authonomy Editors on, which said 'the prologue in particular would work well if it was shorter and punchier, you don't need to give much away, in fact it's better if you don't.' I have cut it down now, but any thoughts would be appreciated.


norvs13 wrote 15 days ago   

Hi Pavese,
I just sat down to read yours as per the read swap and had a strong sense of deja Vu. It seems I already read and commented on it a while back, and from the comment it seems i really liked it. ha
I intend to dig in a bit further now, and read some subsequent chapters.

Neville wrote 16 days ago   

Hi there, friend.
At times we need to wind down a little and re-charge our batteries.
Authonomy can be a very testing time in that respect, the grey cells become tired and the mind functions at less than its true potential.
Fear not...there is, as always, an answer to the problem.
Spare yourself a little of the good things in life, spend a few moments re-visiting your childhood.
Turn the pages of my second book in the series, ‘The Secrets of the Forest –Cosmos 501’ and re-kindle that zest for life.
Oh, and by the way... I would appreciate any support afterwards… if you feel a little better.
‘I shall of course take a look at your own book with the interest that it deserves’.
This is what Authonomy is all about!

My name is Neville Kent...and I wish you well in your pursuit of happiness.

Kindest regards.

Roger Laurence wrote 16 days ago   

Thankyou so much for the excellent comments on Music Man. Exactly what I'm hoping for.

norvs13 wrote 17 days ago   

Hi Pavese,
Thanks so much for the backing. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I intend to get to yours today, but just on a short note, your short pitch is excellent.

Zoe Morgan wrote 17 days ago   

Hi, Lovely :-)

Thanks for reviewing, some really useful comments...I've been toying with a few things and I agree with pretty much everything you said. Cameron features later but now I think about it, there's no need to set him up in the first chapter, I could just introduce him them.

Just thinking aloud! Thanks again, much appreciated x

rikasworld wrote 18 days ago   

Hi Benedict has asked me to take over running CHIRG as he's not around much now.
Please post any comments on

Roger Laurence wrote 20 days ago   

Put up review comments on Champion's Change chapter one. I'll hopefully get to chapter two tomorrow. A lot of good stuff here to work with.

Cheers, Rog

NMott wrote 20 days ago   

For Childrens Fiction I'd recommend but it's a subscription site so it all depends on whether you're willing to pay a £20 annual fee (although they do offer one month free taster session to see if you like it first).
Otherwise, I'd recommend posting the question on the On Writing forum as I'm sure other members will know of some good free forums.

norvs13 wrote 21 days ago   

Hi ya,
I'd love to do a read swap.
I'll dig into your book soon.

Josephine O Brien wrote 21 days ago   

Hi pavese, thank you so much for having me back on your shelf . It means a lot, especially for the next few weeks. I' 'll be delighted to return to Campion's change during the week and give you an over view. I'm also very happy to receive any thoughts you may have on Shared Skies.

RJBrown wrote 21 days ago   

Hi Pavese,

I'm happy to take a look! It probably won't be until next week now but just start at the beginning of Helianthus and read as much as you fancy!


Panzer Steegle wrote 21 days ago   

Well firstly thank you very much!

Secondly I don't have specifics in mind per-say, but ideally I'd like to hear your take on Ubiquitous Digression. Personally I'm not sure where I'm being too critical or not critical enough in my edits.

Mainly I want it to be something that you pick up and read, then read again just to make sure you understood it right.

And I'll definitely check out Campions Change.

Roger Laurence wrote 22 days ago   

Would you consider a book review swap? I'm looking for constructive criticism of my book Music Man. I provide reviews in that vein, not fluff. Cheers, Roger