this picture made me think of prospective covers for your book

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/q85/998142_538973872804539_723939553_n.jpg

Ah Maurice. You're too quick for me!! :) I shall supply the rest forthwith.

What an interesting point about author intervention. Certainly not intentional but I can understand what you mean. The challenge I have (as most author's have) is enticing the reader with things that they don't know but want to find out. But clearly I've stepped too far over the mark. What will become clear very quickly in the next instalment is why (it was hinted at the end of the last section) but maybe some of the information needs to come a bit earlier.

Funnily enough I've been having a similar conversation with Rachel about The Divers Brilliant Bow. There is a long mid-period - nicely written but where you're not sure where you're heading - and then BAM a great revelation that ties it all together. It's how to drip feed some of that without deflating the turning point.

Much to muse on. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

Bruce

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HI CAN WE BE FRIEND?S

My Name is Jennifer am a beautiful young girl looking for true love relationship and protection, i Have gone through your profile authonomy.com site today, and I was very happy to contact you for us to know ourselves more. You know that distance, age and indeed color cannot stop true love or friendship, So I will appreciate it much, if you

reply me back ( jenniferteamh@yahoo.com ) To enable me send my

pictures and more information about my self to you and to tell you the more reason why i contacted you. I wait for your positive reply, take care and

have a nice day.
Jennifer

here is my mail just drop me a line will reply jenniferteamh@yahoo.com

Great. Thanks Maurice. I'll get the last parts put together for you as well.

Cheers
Bruce

Hey Maurice,

I'm starting the process of composing a decent query letter, and I was wondering: If you could pick an established author or two whose readers would like my story, who would they be? If you can't think of anyone, no worries.

I know you'd initially likened the first chapter to an American Ian Banks... would you stand by that after reading the whole thing?

Just read through the critique, Maurice. There's lots of great info in there, which I'll digest and feed back thoughts on.

Chapter 1 has been an area that I've debated and mused on for ages - I kind of want it to be a bit vague, of characters and images forming, but I take your point entirely that the reader wants some kind of clue of what is relevant and what is background noise. I'll take a look at that.

Thanks for all your efforts!

Bruce :)

Hi Maurice,

Yes, will do that. Might take me a few days to get all the chapters into one file. Really pleased you're enjoying it. Will look at your comments now.

Bruce :)

Maurice, give me some pain.

Thanks a lot Maurice and thanks so much for the backing - really appreciated!

Bruce :)

Dear Maurice, thank you for taking time reading Fame and Infamy. It is nice to meet someone familiar with Henry James.
Iva

You do realise I only backed it because it matches my current green colour scheme!

LOL LOL

Thank you, M. Glad to be of good luck to you - hope it lasts.

x

my dear Maurice, you wrote: " from the way you told it, I could tell it wasn’t all right on the inside (that’s what I meant by the corruption). It was this feeling that came through clearly, even before the boils.
So even though I didn’t pick up consciously on the idea that the doll is to her what she is to them - the subconscious impression was already there.
I hope all this makes sense. I was trying to capture my immediate reaction rather than my thinking-about-it-later reaction - It can be a bit hard to explain.
It's night time here so I'll see you tomorrow - hopefully I'll have a story by then. :)
this is one of the very best and clearest explanations that makes me trust the text and how it is written. I had no idea it was even possible to read it as clearly as you do, so now i am swimming,no floating in a sea of gratitude. Endless thanks that you wrote this, and that you REALLY read with the heart.
I am saving this:)
warmest hug
leelah

Hi maurice, that was nice of you to answer. Can you answer this too? what do you mean with corruption - tell me as if i were a child please:) - and if you did not need to hear those things about her and a doll because it was clear...how was it clear, please? and if this feels very irritating, please just forget it:)
looking forward to your story, as always
Leelah

Hello. How are you? I would appreciate to switch comments and feedback with you! Would you be able to do the same? If you want to read the rest of the book....it is finished and on Kindle and paperback on Amazon.com. Proceeds are going to mental health facilities and burn survivors. Would you support? I am so blessed to be able to help others with my story. I hope I will be able to stop even just one person from doing something drastic like I did. I will put your book on my wl and comment:) and even back your book. Hope for it in return? God bless:)! Bethany

Hi Maurice, Wow thank you for a great review. I am especially pleased that you "got" the Tyler character. (Thank you for not feeling compelled to "out me" for the too obvious device of Dr. Mann being his father not to mention the clumsy Darth Vader reference;) )
I agree it is dismaying to see readers/audiences continually fed the "if he shows emotion he must be okay bullshit." The commercial producers of books and entertainment seem to assume that consumers are unintelligent and uninterested in exploring new or different internal realities, but you and I both know that is not so. Thank heavens for Epub.
I look forward to reading more of your work as it is intelligent and compelling and frankly, there is too little good new writing being produced as most of today’s writers simply continue to reproduce the books they read yesterday.
Thank you, Laurie Mains

Hello Maurice
Thanks a lot for taking another look.
Yes, I think I will keep the bullying part, it just helps to persuade Shimaku to leave.

Great. Thanks!

emailed over as discussed.

Cheers
Bruce

Interested in a read swap?