Your short pitch promise an interesting read. I'll turn the pages soon

Dear Andi, Thank-you, yes, I see you are right in your observations. Thank-you for taking the time to point these out. You have been very helpfull. Thanks again! Sandra [QUOTE] Hi Sandra, First, thank you SO MUCH for backing Animal Cracker. Your support means a lot to me right now, as I try to stay on the desk till the end of the month. Yours is a very unusual work. I'll confess it's not the sort of thing I read, but I was glad to have the opportunity to experience something so special. I don't feel qualified to address the content, so I'll stick to the writing, which is overall very good. You get a lot of momentum going right from the start. We can palpably feel her fear, although I did find the first paragraph overly long. I am a big believer in the writer's maxim "show, don't tell," and I found some "telling." for example, you don't need to say "I am petrified and running for my life," and in fact, I think that statement takes the reader out of the running in fear experience. You "showed" us her fear very powerfully - no need to "tell" us too. Another example of telling - describing the neighborhood as having an "upbeat atmosphere" really doesn't say much. How about "the neighborhood had a funky charm, with boutiques selling inexpensive jewelry, comfortable coffee shops, and mid-priced Italian restaurants." And I wanted to know about those phone calls! Were they sexual? Threatening bodily harm? If you want us to know why they're so afraid, you need to show us. Some of your imagery is terrific. I especially liked "legs like lead jelly." I also found some odd word choices and grammatical errors. These slow the reader down, and take her out of the story, and you don't want that. "selection" of languages isn't quite the right word "comprising" the red and white dress, and "placated" each other are two more. And I saw breath instead of breathe. I think you're a skilled writer, and I hope you can make this as strong possible. I wish I could be more helpful with other aspects of the book, but it's beyond my ken. Thanks for considering Animal Cracker. And of course I wish you tons of good luck with your work. Regards, Andi Brown [ENDQUOTE]

Hi Sandra, First, thank you SO MUCH for backing Animal Cracker. Your support means a lot to me right now, as I try to stay on the desk till the end of the month. Yours is a very unusual work. I'll confess it's not the sort of thing I read, but I was glad to have the opportunity to experience something so special. I don't feel qualified to address the content, so I'll stick to the writing, which is overall very good. You get a lot of momentum going right from the start. We can palpably feel her fear, although I did find the first paragraph overly long. I am a big believer in the writer's maxim "show, don't tell," and I found some "telling." for example, you don't need to say "I am petrified and running for my life," and in fact, I think that statement takes the reader out of the running in fear experience. You "showed" us her fear very powerfully - no need to "tell" us too. Another example of telling - describing the neighborhood as having an "upbeat atmosphere" really doesn't say much. How about "the neighborhood had a funky charm, with boutiques selling inexpensive jewelry, comfortable coffee shops, and mid-priced Italian restaurants." And I wanted to know about those phone calls! Were they sexual? Threatening bodily harm? If you want us to know why they're so afraid, you need to show us. Some of your imagery is terrific. I especially liked "legs like lead jelly." I also found some odd word choices and grammatical errors. These slow the reader down, and take her out of the story, and you don't want that. "selection" of languages isn't quite the right word "comprising" the red and white dress, and "placated" each other are two more. And I saw breath instead of breathe. I think you're a skilled writer, and I hope you can make this as strong possible. I wish I could be more helpful with other aspects of the book, but it's beyond my ken. Thanks for considering Animal Cracker. And of course I wish you tons of good luck with your work. Regards, Andi Brown

Hi Ariel, This..is so deep! To be honest, I find it almost too mind dazzling, but I dont think one is meant to read this lightly. To understand - and to benefit, I feel the need to stop and digest, process.. but at this stage all I can say is, wow, what an experience. I will eventually finish it - and once I have, Ill be able to review you better. Thanks for pushing it my way :) Anna

Hi Ariel I enjoyed your first chapter, but I feel it needs a re-write. Think of some of the things you've written: You have a "desolate" street. Does this make sense? You have a mannequin which stares "inanimatedly" How else could a mannequin stare? You have legs that are turned to "lead jelly" Does that make sense? You fail to put a capital letter on "God" You fail to put a hyphen in "adrenaline-rushed" These are all minor points but they would put a potential reader (and a potential editor) off your novel. Please share this first chapter with a friend. I'm sure he (or she) would agree with the points I have made. Hope this helps. Alexander French

MERKABAH AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. Fiction, 1st person. A remarkable piece of literature, very professional, polished and entertaining. Publish it! Raechel Echo

ch 1 this is a great opening to what promises to be a great book. but a few points on style. the opening is fast, dramatic, but the prose lets it down a bit. you need short sharp sentences, with few adjectives, and qualifiers. the manequin can only stare inanimately, so is irrelevant. oddly unable to shake off the dream? it's scary. I wold expect her to be shaken, for the memory to grab hold of her. How did craig react to the dream?was he scared, or try to tell you it was nothing? did you forget the dream or merely put it to the back of yoru minds? What happened to your friends? were they scared? did anything happen to them? Great hook to end the chapter with.

Sandra My thoughts on your book. Please take with a pinch of cliche, a dash of "sod off you unpublished writer!" and a smattering of "that's as much use as a turnip to a mechanic." Chapter 1 The dream I like, the amount of "i was doing this...I then did this...I then did something else...etc" was a little wearing. Try not starting so many of the opening sentences with "I..."? Anyway, liked the dream sequence, liked the waking, but try and separate the six months more convincingly....it just seems like you rushed it. Either use * * * as a break, or write it more into the telling...you decide.I would also do this for the dream awakening. Don't use the boldface...tell it more convincingly. I like the end of the dream, start the next sentence simply with the wakening? Timescale...you cannot use six months later, then two weeks later, then a week later. It confuses the reader as to what time reference they are using...I would use something like half a year passed and I ..., then follow with, two weeks after getting my job I...etc. The rapist story is well done. It adds the hook to the reader and the final hook has them for the next chapter. Chapter 2. The first thing that stands out is the change of font to Ariel...I actually prefer it to Times Roman...but then you change back in chapter 3? I would just use the same font...but italics. Serapis' message...hmmm. It's a bit longwinded for me. I would shorten considerably as it loses the reader, and then finish it the same way with the short lyrics...which was nice. Chapter 3 I would combine this with chapter 2 and have Seraphis opening with his statement, before then explaining who he was, who had been like him in the past etc. Then I would go into the dialogue of chapter 3. I think it would read better and make the reader flow easier from chapter to chapter. Summary so far: You have the ability of a story teller, that is obvious. What I would do now is read what others have put...then go to a trusted friend and ask their opinion. Then choose the way you want the book to read. It's your voice and only you can tell the story...so use these comments with the above disclaimer. Anyway...You're backed and starred(no I will not tell you how many!). If you want me to comment on further chapters send me a message...otherwise you are well within your right to tell me to sod off. DJ-The Lost Cactus

Hi Ariel, this is so well written I feel as though I could finish it in one sitting! I've backed and will read more later. Thought provoking, clever and I think we can all relate to that terrified feeling of waking from a nightmare when your body feels weak and your mind disorientated. Cracking stuff! Please take the time to read Curious Cooper and the Screaming Skulls if you can.Its a childrens fantasy story but adults seem to be enjoying. I'd be grateful of any comments and support. Very best wishes, Claire

Merkabah at the Centre of the Universe - A reader, not having read the pitch, might be excused for believing this book is a crime thriller. Chapter one begins with an extremely well written passage full of panicked, heart-thumping terror experienced by a young girl being chased it would seem, to ultimate and possibly final, harm. A nightmare of such intensity must surely have an impact that would be remembered but it would seem the dream is not just a premonition that appears to have been well founded, it is a vehicle that has had greater significance to the author. Fluently written throughout the three chapters read, I would put this in the category of a philosophical work on spirituality. Serapis does not provide answers to questions and why should he? To do so would take away the ability of an enquiring mind determined to search using clues that are given. The only criticism I have to make is that Serapis' appearance is rather stereotypical but this does not detract from the author's message, which many will find enlightening. Child - Atramentus Speaks

Dear Ariel, Honestly, no word or statement is enough to qualify your great immaginative but esoteric writing. What an excellent and articulate piece! I love esoteric writings and terminologies, and yours have measured the best I have ever seen here. You have a word vehicle and excellent way of transporting your readers into other planes of existence. The work is one in a million, and awesome indeed. Here esoteric science, philosophy, skill and talent commingled in strong parlance to produce a thunderbolt wisdom kit. Mmmh, I swallows all the delicacies without a twist on my face, a sumptuous appeal. My title to this stuff is: "Don't stop till you get enough. Wish you all the best:-) x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x Elijah E. Yamslaw (THE 419 CODE)

Dear Ariel, Honestly, no word or statement is enough to qualify your great immaginative but esoteric writing. What an excellent and articulate piece! I love esoteric writings and terminologies, and yours have measured the best I have ever seen here. You have a word vehicle and excellent way of transporting your readers into other planes of existence. The work is one in a million, and awesome indeed. Here esoteric science, philosophy, skill and talent commingled in strong parlance to produce a thunderbolt wisdom kit. Mmmh, I swallows all the delicacies without a twist on my face, a sumptuous appeal. My title to this stuff is: "Don't stop till you get enough. Wish you all the best:-) x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x Elijah E. Yamslaw (THE 419 CODE)

A awesome read. We are captured in your dream of realism whether fact or fiction The dream is real and speaks with a poetic voice of solitude and violence. Tarrant

MERKABAH AT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE-Arial de Plume hullo Sandra. Taking a second peek with the new system. it has been said before,the mind is a powerful thing. have a great day! LLL

I've taken another look at your book after a distended period of time and have come to the same conclusion. I really think this book should start at Chapter 2. Not that there is anything wrong with Chapter 1, but it just doesn't feel like a part of the whole. It feels like the beginnings of a novel rather than an introduction to this work of non-fiction, and perhaps should be put aside as the start of a completely different work. This is very much the kind of book I would read and shall be reading more of it when I get the time. It reminds me of the works by the founder of theosophy, Helena Petrovna Blavatski and the Qabalist, Dion Fortune. Hope this has been of some benefit, Laith

MERKABAH AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE ARIEL DU PLUME (SANDRA GARCIA) A lot of food for thought in your writing Ariel. You explore so much as you use your imagination to entertain some of the issues/ideas/concepts which have overwhelmed man throughout his existence - and I am sure will continue to do so. This is a piece which must be read in doses in order to savour and digest its value so it's on my shelf for now and star-rated but I will come back to it in due course. All the best with it.

I have read three chapters. Serapis speaks in an elliptical way, so this requires a fair amount of concentration to understand. I hall return to it later.

Rivetting as truth or as fiction. The standard of writing is high and the intrigue is complete Just a few nit-picks, "Gage" should be 'guage' and 'Shinning' should be 'shining'. You should do really well with this book. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

A lively philosophical discourse that should be read and debated. Engrossing. Convincing. Thought provoking. Confident writing. Backed.

Dear Ariel, Really nice dream sequence in the opening chapter. I feel the MC's panic and fear. It's a good ending to the chapter, with the transition to the voice. Nice job! BACKED Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Beautifull written. I had an encounter with Serapis Bey many years ago. I am happy to back your book. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Dear Ariel, Really nice dream sequence in the opening chapter. I feel the MC's panic and fear. It's a good ending to the chapter, with the transition to the voice. Nice job! BACKED Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY) Please excuse the following message if I’ve already sent it to you. Sometimes I get confused! Thanks. Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

Hi Ariel This is fascinating. I must say I find it hard to believe all this stuff, but you certainly make a convincing case. Backed. Nicole Chosen

Your first person narrative voice resonates with authenticity, as it should, since this is your true story. Your spiritual journey, as you descibe it, is facinating, compelling and informative. Your descriptive, straight forward writing makes your work a most pleasureable read. Backed. Andrew Burans The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Strong writing in this spiritual journey.

An impressive beginning, a solid character, who grows with the story and through his guides, the Serapis. Still reading, glad to have backed.

This is not my genre, but I can back it on the merit of its writing, which is superb. I wish you the very best with this. Kind regards, Jodi x-Evalesco-x

The writing here is polished and well-paced. I was intrigued with your pitch and like the idea in general. However, I wasn't really drawn in until the third chapter. I heard once that agents/editors hate to see a book that begins with a dream, or with someone waking up, and I always thought: what's the big deal? Until I started reading hundreds of opening chapters here. Now when I see a book that starts with a dream, I just want to skip over it. The same with the second chapter, where you get into historical background...I don't know, maybe I'm just lazy today but I just wanted to skip over. The third chapter, where I felt I was dealing with actual experience and a person...well, that's where I wanted to start. Obviously, you are a talented writer with a certainty of how you want this to be told. Just my impressions but I did enjoy it! ---Mary The Qualities of Wood

I thought the frantic pace of the journey through the dream in ch.1 was fantastic. A highly original story that had me totally gripped. I absolutely must return for more! Good luck and best wishes, Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

Oh, the dream was so creepy! Really nicely written. happily backed. all the best, carol

Hi Ariel - this isn't my genre but it's definitely an interesting read from a quick look at the synopsis and first chapter, i'll be back for some more, happy to back Sian Banks

The beginning completely captured me and I had to go back and check to see if this was non-fiction. Your pacing is wonderful and I kept reading on. Your write with simplicity and honesty and I often had to pause and think. This is a book with a wonderful discovery of life, and the reader does that discovery along with the protagonist, which makes it more powerful and believable. Backed earlier. Rakhi (Sir William...)

Ariel, this is an ambitious metaphysical exercise. Do you have a solid background in physics? (if you do it should appear in your bio...it would offer more credibility). If you don't , how were you able to understand the terminology? and consequently transcribe this channelled info without confusion? As a reader it would be interesting if that aspect of questioning, hesitation,doubt etc (outside the guiding sessions) was dealt with in more detail. Since your "spiritual mission is to relay the message to humanity" remember that most of humanity has a 5 minute attention span. Even if it means doubling the word count in an effort to vulgarize with more breathing space, the message deserves it. If it took you twenty years, the reader needs more than 2 hours of intense reading. The last chapter which is a summary needs "light". You have an inquisitive mind and an able pen. I backed "Merkabah..." because I enjoyed the read (though I didn't fully grasp everything) because spirituality as a phenomenon, not as belief / faith, fascinates me. Thanks, Miguel Absentee Bidder

Hi Ariel, firstly, thank you for backing LONDON. Secondly - wow! What a way to grab attention via your synopsis. You captured me, and I wanted to jump into your journey and follow your story path. Nice! Looking forward to reading it all. sincerely jim

Very impressive stuff. I can't imagine picking this up in a bookshop but I do believe that would have been my mistake. It reads so fluently. The dream sequence is almost poetic and chapter one maintains the same quality. It's a very hard book to define but it is written with such craft and sincerity I am delighted to back it. Carl The Time Hunters

Very impressive stuff. I can't imagine picking this up in a bookshop but I do believe that would have been my mistake. It reads so fluently. The dream sequence is almost poetic and chapter one maintains the same quality. It's a very hard book to define but it is written with such craft and sincerity I am delighted to back it. Carl The Time Hunters

I'm curious to find out what shape or form the structure might take in the end so for that reason ' Merkabah at the Centre of the Universe, has my backing. Powerfull stuff Daniel Manning No Compatibility.

This is just FANTASTIC! What a truly amazing read (and story)! Much love, Johanna

Your opening pitch, "The identity of the absolute being, is encoded with your", is magnificent, powerful and full of intrigue. I have backed this novel with the utmost pleasure, and look forward to reading. Helen

'Communications' originating from the art of the universe, the art of the mind (so often filtered and compartmentalised by 'science'), when they are transcribed with as little re-interpretation as can reasonably be expected, are remarkably consistent in essence. The use of language with its consensually agreed structures takes us to the heart of the matter: communication. Semantics. Semiotics. Syntax. Here we also have to interpret the transcendent/immanent (Aristotelian/Stoic) connotations. There is an existential and theological dialogue happening here, too. One thing: thought precedes emotion or emotion precedes thought? Or both as the possibility of 'either/or' processes? Or simultaneous occurrences? The imagery described is, I believe, part of what comprises and facilitates the semantic structure and has a cultural bias – no less useful for that, providing that this aspect is understood. The use of the name 'Serapis' is curious. The origin of this deity is obfuscated by various conflicting accounts in the writings of ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome. The name is possibly derived from a conflation of 'Osiris/Apis'. There is even some evidence that the worship of Serapis and Christ were interchangeable. Was this out of confusion, intent or some other, possibly political, urging? Of course, the use of the name in this instance could be derived from the writer's subconscious mind on a purely cultural level or as the nearest approximation to what is 'heard' in trance, as is often the case. Given the subject matter of this writing it is, perhaps, inevitable that readers will compare it with Coelho, Castaneda, (even Capra), Monroe etc. What individual readers can gain from studying this account depends upon how much effort they are willing to put into it. It offers an opportunity to examine one's own inner systems of understanding: logic, perception, awareness, cognizance, conceptualisation, communication etc. In short, to evaluate (or re-evaluate) the big question(s) of existence and meaning. While solipsists will believe this to be 'nothing but' the outpourings of the author's unconscious, ontologists and epistemologists will, at least, find some grist for their collective mill. To apply rationalism to these writings would hardly be appropriate unless it is used in the internal sense or in the process of interpretation. Ariel de Plume (Sandra Garcia) writes, 'The manner in which Serapis spoke always made me feel dizzy.' She adds, 'Transposing his dialogue would mean that the reader can't experience him by the way he intimately expresses himself. By attempting to transpose his communications to a contemporary and reader-friendly format, I run the risk of misinterpreting what he intends to say.' Unfortunately, Serapis' oblique statements are equally open to (mis)interpretation. A couple of examples of Serapis' teachings serves to illustrate this (with apologies to the author for using these quotations out of their fuller context). The first is Serapis' somewhat flippant answer to her question 'Where am I?' 'Where you are, is at the engine of the lost paradigm. A paradigm infiltrated by statistics that consent to the human nature as the statistic of an operable design. A paradigm lost is a world in which the free will is lost. Yet the human unaware of his condition, is unaware that this paradigm performs at his request, under a consolidated notion that is not yours, but of statistic that replaces the free will?' The second appears to be a comment on his 'logism game' – see just three of the statements (below). Ms Garcia is asked to 'aim to see the logic behind the statement'. 'Any salient probability is to invent the probability of statistic. The continuity of thought, for instance, reflects the onomastic (naming) representative, thus allowing you to concede thought. The influence on design structures your capability to put influence to thought. Thought as subjective beginning, acquires the notion of consent, to which you apply rationality. Before you inquire further, let us reflect together on the precipice of the inflatory design to which you hold cue.' Three statements, below, from the 'logism game' with the author's interpretations. 'Reluctance is a sign of deceit.' 'I translated this one to read: unwillingness is a sure sign of deception, and the logical interpretation would be: if you are reluctant to do something, it is because you fear deception. So if you feel reluctant, it's a sure sign you are going to be deceived.' 'The thread of interpretation miscarry's [sic] judgement.' 'I would have to make this one more manageable, so I chose to re-evaluate it as: The continuation of thinking loses verdict. I could not find the logic in this statement, so I elected to say “pass”, like in the game shows on television.' 'The indemnity of rationale carries the sense.' 'Simplified: The guarantee of justification carries the sense, meaning that if you are guaranteed a justification then you are sure to make sense'. In conclusion: a unique account containing much food for thought (not withstanding interpretation). Backed. William J Booker, Trippers.

Epic, awesome, breathtaking, thought provoking, true, heaven breaking, wonderful

Fiction or non-fiction, does anyone care? Well-written and an enjoyable read into the human condition. Backed with best wishes. A.P. Constantin The Crystal Butterfly Club

HI Ariel. Absolutely not the sort of book I would normally go for so I appraise the writing alone which is superb. Disregarding the context, your prose is beautifully structured and your painting of imagery is gorgeous. I am very interested in cultural beliefs and the values that each individual herald at their centre. Having a degree that involves psychology and sociology has led to the understanding of difference. I can accept all of that. Regardless. This, as a piece of writing, is fantastic and deserves the BACKING. Good luck. Cheers.

Ariel, Thanks for backing my DESTA. All the best to you with your book! Getty

Very thought provokong, i will continue but so far, I like what I have read.

Your depth blew my mind

Ariel 'MERKABAH AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE' as Simon says "boody hell" - fabulous writing, philosophy and deep thinking. Backed with delight. Well done! Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

Ariel 'MERKABAH AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE' as Simon says "boody hell" - fabulous writing, philosophy and deep thinking. Backed with delight. Well done! Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

This is an incredibly gripping beginning, breath-taking and awe-inspiring. Backed with pleasure. Abi xxx

It is very easy to become immersed in Merkabah at the Centre of the Universe.. the reading just read so.. well.. real, in some way.. I guess every sentence is speaking your truth, which is absolutely magical.. I'm so glad I came across your novel quite by accident, Backed and best wishes! Diane Good Blood

Enjoyed the spiritual journey in the opening chapters and backed this book with pleasure. Cheers, M - Weekend Chimney Sweep - Sarajevo Walls of Fate

THIS IS BRILLIANT IN SO MANY WAYS!!!! How you have structured this, it's content the theory, everything screems BRILLIANT

THIS IS BRILLIANT IN SO MANY WAYS!!!! How you have structured this, it's content the theory, everything screems BRILLIANT

I have swallowed 'MERKABAH AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE' ('the active potential producing the glow of electrons') at one go. The contents appeals to me a lot. Absolutely. Your concepts of truth, memory, recollection, idea, feeling, experience, true projection, relativity, probability of statistics, and paradigms (including the one where the free will is lost) are just brilliant. I admire the description of Your attempts to achieve equilibration and Your 'Matrix'-like trips to the astral reality, especially the one with the platform/plain with the panel of six judges (probably representing the alternative bodies of Your present being, other than the physical body). Your logic is flawless. Feelings lead to thoughts.Sense equals truth. Reluctance is the sign of the fear of deception. Interpretation twists judgement (You pretend to fail to figure out this one initially). Guarantee of justification gives us reassurance in our making sense. Our intuition encourages us to make ('subjetive and unreliable'!) statements (You pretend not to get that one either). I couldn't agree more with Your definitions of the mind, which is 'a circumstantial parameter - source of illusion - the paradigmatic association to truth - a form of static electricity (with the placement value of this ingenuity: 111) - the capacity for the intention'. And the 'true source of projection' IS 'a dynamic interference - conclusion'. The only notion that does not fit in the line of Your thought is 'chaos'. But it is Order and not chaos that is the predecessor of change. Implementation of Your 'Manifestation Protocol' would not make any sense if it was subject to any accidental and unjustified interruptions. Although comparing the course of life (of humans, other beings, planets, suns, etc., as I presume) to a game of Scrabble may sound intriguing at first, a more thorough consideration of this issue must evoke serious doubts and many questions, such as: Are we the lettered tiles or do we arrange them? Or both? If we are the lettered tiles, then who 'forms words from us? In my opinion, Order does not need any opposite. It only needs our cognition. Order is not just one of the forces and energies forming and undergoing the relativity of the physical dimension, like yin and yang. Order is beyond the relativity. And when we say that chaos is necessary to balance Order, just like evil to make good more appreciated, our words eventually come true. As always. But only for our minds and bodies. Not for the Universe. Not for the Truth in which 'we are ONE (Omnipotent Never-ending Experience)'.

I have swallowed 'MERKABAH AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE' ('the active potential producing the glow of electrons') at one go. The contents appeals to me a lot. Absolutely. Your concepts of truth, memory, recollection, idea, feeling, experience, true projection, relativity, probability of statistics, and paradigms (including the one where the free will is lost) are just brilliant. I admire the description of Your attempts to achieve equilibration and Your 'Matrix'-like trips to the astral reality, especially the one with the platform/plain with the panel of six judges (probably representing the alternative bodies of Your present being, other than the physical body). Your logic is flawless. Feelings lead to thoughts.Sense equals truth. Reluctance is the sign of the fear of deception. Interpretation twists judgement (You pretend to fail to figure out this one initially). Guarantee of justification gives us reassurance in our making sense. Our intuition encourages us to make ('subjetive and unreliable'!) statements (You pretend not to get that one either). I couldn't agree more with Your definitions of the mind, which is 'a circumstantial parameter - source of illusion - the paradigmatic association to truth - a form of static electricity (with the placement value of this ingenuity: 111) - the capacity for the intention'. And the 'true source of projection' IS 'a dynamic interference - conclusion'. The only notion that does not fit in the line of Your thought is 'chaos'. But it is Order and not chaos that is the predecessor of change. Implementation of Your 'Manifestation Protocol' would not make any sense if it was subject to any accidental and unjustified interruptions. Although comparing the course of life (of humans, other beings, planets, suns, etc., as I presume) to a game of Scrabble may sound intriguing at first, a more thorough consideration of this issue must evoke serious doubts and many questions, such as: Are we the lettered tiles or do we arrange them? Or both? If we are the lettered tiles, then who 'forms words from us? In my opinion, Order does not need any opposite. It only needs our cognition. Order is not just one of the forces and energies forming and undergoing the relativity of the physical dimension, like yin and yang. Order is beyond the relativity. And when we say that chaos is necessary to balance Order, just like evil to make good more appreciated, our words eventually come true. As always. But only for our minds and bodies. Not for the Universe. Not for the Truth in which 'we are ONE (Omnipotent Never-ending Experience)'.

Wow - what I don't understand is why this has a red arrow and not green next to it! I am so glad I gave this a click! You are a gifted writer with an incredible imagination! The entire book is uploaded and so I will finish it tonight - bless you. My daughter who is 21 is sucked into the story as well! PAY ATTENTION AUTHONOMY - this should be published! Very polished and intelligent and your name (Ariel DuPLume sounds like a bestselling author's name! You've got it all so keep going - you are in your correct calling - promise to comment again when I am done reading and my daughter will giver her 2 cents as well i am sure! BACKED with pleasure!! Liz The Cheech Room

Okay...I've read sevearl chapters of this and then jumped about later on. There seems to a stranges wisdom here...strange in the sense that it is strange, almost alien, to me but undoubtedly wisdom. I like the mystic version of science. I like the idea that we work perfectly well, if we but knew how to operate ourselves. I think there will be a market for this. Nick "Mirror in The Sky"

very deep spiritual journey, I think that has the making of the lives of many people.. Well done..

very deep spiritual journey, I think that has the making of the lives of many people.. Well done..

very deep spiritual journey, I think that has the making of the lives of many people.. Well done..

This is a great way to kick off your book. I like the atmosphere you create and the sense of urgency really comes through. The ending to the first chapter is perfect. I also think this is a great idea for a book, and I think there is a certain immediate tension that, if you handle it right, can permeate the entire thing. This is good stuff. Backed!

Ariel, I don't know why Serapis' words to you should mean so much to me but they do. I think you have a great brain and great talent. backed. Lynn

A fascinting read, different from anything I've ever encountered. It's well written and an experience that could cause anyone to question their own sanity, or level of possession. To be a vehicle of transformation is amazing. Best of luck with it.

Hi Ariel, I am both intrigued and engaged by what you have written. I'm not sure why, but I keep thinking James Redfield. Your dream is vivid, and when the scene starts to materialise, it feels eerie. But you immediately move from dark to light in the shape of Serapis, who I interpret to be the embodiment of the collective wisdom of the universe (is that correct?). I must admit I was a little confused by Serapis's message to the world in Ch 2, but then Ariel is confused in turn in Ch 3. It looks like a fascinating journey is ahead, and I'm looking forward to reading more about it. Backed with confidence. Mark (Stand up and live!)

Ariel, An extremely interesting read. Has moments of creepiness and downright fear. I was hoping I would see more dialogue and more tension build up, but I imagine most of tis first chapter and prologue are just a set up for what’s to come? Either way, a great foundation for your story. Shelved! Below are my nits and thoughts as I read: Nice start. Draws me in. “…on the black plastic banister, careening down…’ This seemed wonky to me. I’m not sure if it’s the tense change or that something maybe is missing between ‘banister,’ and ‘careening.’ It could just be me, though. “…about six steps…” six is a very specific number for the word ‘about. “…wooden post boxes line the wall … leading onto the street.” Makes it seem like the post boxes lead to the street. Like the mannequin. Nice touch. “...please god…” typically ‘god’ is capitalized. Unless you are doing this on purpose? I like the intensity of this scene. “I suddenly realized what I was looking at form the balcony…” Got a bit confused here. Realized after reading it a couple time that it was the same place as her dreams? Creepy once I realized it. “…comprising the red and black…” Comprising seems the wrong word here. “one of them had persuaded the police to organize an ambush…” This is interesting. I was surprised you blazed past it like this. Nice ending. Keeps me interested. Cheers! Roberto Calas The Beast of Maug Maurai

Very interesting! What an outstanding and fascinating concept. I have no critique. :) Just... great job! Already backed. Tracy The Guardians

two things, firstly, it's well written, but secondly, I just don't get it. i'm missing the boat, but as non-fiction, it doesn't work for me. i read precisely zero non-fiction, though, so please don't mind me. good luck, craig

Ariel, I like how you begin your book with the dream I think that you could use more details to convey feelings of your words to readers instead of just telling. Backed with pleasure. Lisa

Ariel, I like how you begin your book with the dream I think that you could use more details to convey feelings of your words to readers instead of just telling. Looks like a good read. Backed with pleasure. Lisa

Ariel, I like how you begin your book with the dream I think that you could use more details to convey feelings of your words to readers instead of just telling. Backed with pleasure. Lisa

I knew I would like this from the moment I saw it, and I'm not just saying that, since if I didn't feel that way I wouldn even bother asking for a swap :D. I love the face paced-iness, the creepy atmosphere when she and Craig find out that the dreams weren't just dreams, and I seem to have thing for baritone voices that speak to people in their heads hehe. People might say, just like some have to me, that starting a book or beginning it with people waking up or anything or an event/dream and then waking up is not good, but when its exceptionaly writen and flows in to a good story I start to wonder "why the hell not?"...we all wake up every day, and besides shiting and pissing its one of the most relatable things you can place into a book if you ask me hahah Excelent! You should definetly finish this :) I dont have time right now to read beyond the first chapter, but I promise I will and comment again, and until then, this will rest on my shelf so I dont forget about it.

Hullo Ariel/Sandra, as one of your other readers has commented, I was also unable to follow The Matrix and my college class of philosophy was the only class I have ever dropped. However, your ability of keen perception is ver enlightening. You have been shelved and backed. Please consider my work. Linda Lou Long Southern dis-Comfort http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Ariel/Sandra, Having read 3 chapters of MERKABAH AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE, I'm fairly certain that I am not in your target audience. I could easily accept your story in sci-fi or fantasy fiction, but I take it more skeptically in a non-fiction context. That said, I will do my best to comment fairly. Chapter 1 opens with a wonderfully detailed description of the inciting dream. It feels real, but has that other-worldly creepiness of vivid dreams. Anyone who has ever dreamed of being chased (that's probably all of us) will relate. After the move, when the obscene phone calls had begun, you say that you began having visions "of a spiritual nature." Show the reader what you mean by that. Were they dreams? Were they waking visions? What made them more "of a spiritual nature" than other dreams? Even though this is non-fiction, you are telling a story, so show rather than tell whenever you can. Draw the reader into your experience. Chapter 2 is a long message from Serapis. This comes across as a nearly indigestible chunk, like one might find in academic or other specialized writing. It's probably important to share this message, but chapter two seems early -- it will put many readers off. Would it be possible to break it up somehow? Or give it more context? Did Serapis dump this entire message on you all at once, or dole it out a bit at a time? Chapter 3 came as a relief because it was, once again, descriptive and detailed, with a point of view and context: you, in your room, meditating and having a pretty trippy experience. (It sounded a little like descriptions I've heard of migraines, seizures, and strokes, though without pain: some wild brain activity going on. Serapis flipped a new switch in there). And not understanding it right away! Now that, I can believe. Revelations should provoke an initial, "Huh?", followed by searching. A few nitpicks in chapter 1: You glance back to "gage" the distance. You want "gauge", as in measure. adrenaline-rushed wants a hyphen. You use "comprising" when you want "including." Comprising means nearly the same, but is used for several elements. Alibi is not the right word for the role Craig played. He was able to corroborate your story. "shinning" should be "shining." Even though this is non-fiction, you are still telling a story. Most of the time, active constructions will be stronger than passive. For example: "Elaborate descriptions were being offered of the degenerate's violent intentions with us" could be recast as "The degenerate offered us elaborate descriptions of his violent intentions." It's shorter and punchier. I'm sorry I can't back this. It's just not my thing, but good luck to you in getting your story out there. Karen Eisenbrey (Crane's Way, Time Squared)

What an exciting read. Not a big commenter but I wanted you to know I really liked this! You have a great skill in your writing and couldn't understand why you have a red arrow! Best Wishes Missy

Hello Ariel, This is a fine piece of writing. Quickly involving, original and leaving one keen to read on. I would buy it (always my subjective acid test). I am more than happy to back this. Good luck with it. Rheagan Greene - Unwelcome Reflections

I enjoyed Merkabah very much, though would have to read all of it to get a better feel from what is being said. A strange tale indeed. That said, I feel there is worth in this. Good luck promoting this book. BACKED

Hi Ariel, I am on the case, I will get back with coments soon. Cheers and respect from Chief. By the way, good luck south africa with the world cup, even though I expect Ghana to do better!

A very thrilling opening (the dream sequence ). A very good read. Fast-paced; has momentum...somewhat thrilling... Your book is well written, clear cut and easy to read. There's an important factor: that we become familiar with the MC's problem immediately and how she intends to go about solving it . Your choice is very inspiring too. Backed with pleasure Emma Philips The Dark Intruder

I love the cover, simple but effective and very eye catching. The idea is a very interesting one and I like the idea of waking from a nigtmare to escape a death. The writing is excellent and very descriptive. Backed with pleasure. Sandie The Crown of Crysaldor

Ariel, Your book is absolutely breathtaking and soul searching, much like I imagine you must be. Tatum

Hello Sandra, Just one sentence to sum up your MS. "Extremely well written". My best wishes. Backed. Lalit Navani ( Femme Fatale )

Hi Ariel, I'm not much of an inspirational reader, but I found your book to be very interesting. It is written very well, which is clear evidence of your writing skill. Your recollection of the nightmare chase is amazingly vivid and clear. I feel you will get far on the ED with this work. Good Luck! Backed 100%! Patrick Armstead Dark Lands

Dear Jennifer, My book does speak of some unusual occurences, but it is a non-fictional compilation. It seems you have mistaken it for sci fi? Either way, I'm glad you appreciated it enough to back it. Regards Ariel [QUOTE] Ariel You seem to have attracted a few readers who do not normally do sci fi and here is another. It proves the point that if the writing is of sufficient quality then you will read the book. Do I need to say more. Happy to shelve (earlier). Jennifer [ENDQUOTE]

That should have read "I had a dream". Never try and type fast on the laptop when you are still in bed! P x

When i was about 19 P jad a dream that changed my life too. I dreamt I was being chased around the country by a Chinaman with a Machete. The dream (and weird notion) still comes back to haunt me sometimes and it is not ones that I can explain other than to say - the bastard has yet to catch me! As vivid as it is, it does not compare with your startlingly descriptive and fascinating imagination. I am three chapters in and i feel like I have breezed through them in no time. A sign of a good writer. Happy to back. Happy Christmas. Pete

Ariel, Read the first three chapters. Interesting concept, definite hook with the dream sequence. I understand the first chapter is more introductory than anything, but perhaps some thought is due towards the layout. It all came about rather fast, and jumped forward in time very abruptly. Looks promising! Connor

Ariel I skipped around a few chapters because the first chapter confused me and I was hoping for clarification via the others. What I found was even more confusing. Your initial chapter: the dream, the story with the flatmates and the eventual crime was told quite matter-of-fact, with very little elaboration on emotion or personal comfort level. It is written for the most part with very simple words (with a few over-the-top words thrown in - like "whilst") and structure. The point where you move from dream to reality is done with so little ceremony that I thought I had misunderstood. Then you launch into metaphysical preaching and I lost all interest. Not that I have a problem with the idea. I also believe entirely that dreams and mind communication exist and play a major role in our personalities and lives. But your words seemed patronizing ... and I got bored. Sorry! I'm sure there are those who will find this to their taste (obviously there are, considering your position on here), but try as I might, I'm not one of those. Best of luck - Genevieve Under The Same Sky

It strikes me that this is a personal piece of writing. A wonderful tale written and crafted well. I have found reading it fascinating and thoughtful.

Definitely my kind of book! Read the first two chapters. Love the premise and intrigue. I love that this is written in the first person, brillinat idea, brings the reader straight into the action. My story The Emissary has similarities to this but is set in India. I would love to see this as a movie one day. All the best with this and backed with pleasure. Milan (The Emissary & Flicker)

MERKABAH AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE: Ariel, This is beautifully written and the dream is so exciting it could almost be the start of a thriller. But of course the book is a work of literary philosophy. And you capture the reader with the sincerity of your writing, and the vividness of your prose. How amazing that a once-in-a-lifetime dream could be the tool that would change your life so radically, and so significantly. The book rings with truth and integrity. Backed. With best wishes, and good luck with the book. Sheila (Pinpoint)

I am sure you will find a market for this type of work. I live in a town full of new age converts. We even have a woman who channels a two thousand year old prophet called Mafu. Myself, I am too much of a skeptic to take any of this too seriously. But I was intrigued by what you wrote.

Very interesting read. There are many ways to view and write about our innate spirituality. I tend to be very skeptical when meaning becomes literal, but metaphorically, one description is as valid as another. Bottom line, though, and I admit this was kind of a surprise, this kept me reading through a few chapters, when, to be honest, I expected to read a chapter or two. Part ancient philosophy, part Castaneda, and part something I don't recognize from past reading, this makes for interesting reading. Whether strictly, literally "true" (whatever that means) or not, your book supplies much food for thought in an entertaining manner, and that makes it valuable.

So what am I, the Sikh Scottish comedy writer to make of this? The first instinct is to mock, because mockery is always the comfort food of the sceptic. But then it occurred that I despised organised religions, and their imposition of man-made rules in the name of God, much more than I hated any individual's search for spiritual enlightenment. I am gifted with comedy and feel that to make my fellow humans laugh is a joy. But I am wise enough to know there are other paths. So I made space in my head and read this with an open mind. Is there truth here? I do not know. But there is genuine search and that is always laudable. For that, this book is backed. It is worth reading. On a technical level, it could do with a thorough edit as I picked up a few typos. Other than that it is written with clarity and a down to earth style which belies its content. A hard juggling act, performed well. Good luck with it.

Ariel - This is obviously an intensely personal book, your passion clearly jumps off the page. My only concern is perhaps it is too personal for those searching for truth to relate to. You need to give those people a way into the experience for themselves rather than just a, possibly frustrating, glimpse at what you have found. Still an intriguing tale of your personal journey, I will continue to read more. Sessha

This is very well written, interesting exciting stuff, I back this with pleasure. BADD

Hello Ariel, Interesting title, it was rather intriguing. Your plot also left me wondering about what it hints about your book. The content was very clever and entertaining. You held my attention throughout. Sadly, I did not get as far as I wanted in this book so I may have to come back and read more. Best regards, Victoria (Revulsion in Light of Devotion)

Ariel, your book is unusual and not something I would normally have read, therefore it is difficult for me to comment. I am taken by the writing though, it sounds so very personal. I wish you the best with this book. On my SHELF. Julio Eyewall

This is a very well written piece and I was quickly pulled into the world you have created. The reading was smooth and flowed well and the characters are compelling. The descriptive writing about the dream was also very convincing. I honestly felt the sense of urgency and fear in the tone of the narration and the Characters voice. I loved it and I wish you all the best. This is my kind of book Scott The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Okay, had the chills up my spine moment there ... clear, clear description of someone's perception narrowed to a pinpoint by dawning terror. The only way this opening could be improved is if you converted some of the narrative into dialogue and action ... but that's a stylistic choice. On to Astrobiology, a fascinating concept. The experience with Serapis is very sensory, but enlightenment is slower in coming. I would have liked one revelation or truth introduced early, then the path to it traced back in the account of Serapis. That's just me, however. Many readers will drink this up just as it is. For that reason, I shall back this. (Possible nits: 'someone had been shinning [shining] a very bright torch'. Also 'bright light ... very bright torch ... very bright light ... blinding white light'.)

Dear Gallaghan, the truth is depicted in the later chapters. I tend to agree with you, although I gradually incorporated how I got there at the insistence of readers on the site. I guess it's difficult to please all of the people of of the time. Ariel [QUOTE] Hiya, Well, I read two chapters and skimmed the third. Give us truth, not the data that got you to the truth. The data will put people to sleep if you give it all to them. People don't necessarily need to know every detail of how you arrived at the understandings you have found. Show them, using metaphore or parable, or story, etc, the understandings you have gained. Let the understandings speak for themselves. People will be moved by them according to the integrity and validity of those understandings. You cannot create credibility enough with data. It only puts your targets to sleep. Keep at it! Loving regards! [ENDQUOTE]

Hiya, Well, I read two chapters and skimmed the third. Give us truth, not the data that got you to the truth. The data will put people to sleep if you give it all to them. People don't necessarily need to know every detail of how you arrived at the understandings you have found. Show them, using metaphore or parable, or story, etc, the understandings you have gained. Let the understandings speak for themselves. People will be moved by them according to the integrity and validity of those understandings. You cannot create credibility enough with data. It only puts your targets to sleep. Keep at it! Loving regards!

Ariel The dream sequence is quite intense, good fast pace. Maybe the odd word could be shaved here or there to speed it up even more? The rest of chapter one sets up the situation of dream meeting reality. The writing itself is good. It flows well and I found it easy to read. The third chapter needs a lot of concentration to read and digest. I don't normally read this sort of book, so I have to admit I struggled. I'm sure, though, that there is a good well established market for this, and with the right publisher it would do well. Backed Charlie

This is certainly interesting, unlike any other book I've come across here so far. I admit that I am confused, as it seems others have been. You acknowledge that you were confused and lost when these conversations began, but I assume you later came to an understanding - it all clicked together. For that reason, you may want to restructure this story to apply your later understanding as a filter for your readers, guiding them through the principles you discuss. Otherwise, I'm afraid most readers will simply be lost and look for something else. Just a thought, and I wish you luck.

There is a lot in here, but I found it very confusing. I liked the beginning with the dream and the chase. When you moved to Johanesbourg, and recognised the places in your dream it would have been better if you could have described the places in the same order as they occurred in the dream. I would replace the word urinate with something else, as it's a thought you don't normally think the word 'urinate' you think the word 'pee' As for the rest of the book, I think you need to take a step back and try and read it as someone coming in fresh, it's difficult I know, but I found it very very difficult to read.

I’m afraid this is way above my head, and I would be unable to comment fairly on the subject matter. I found myself confused, intrigued and enthralled in fairly equal doses, as I attempted to stay in touch with the narrative. It does, however, read very well and flows without hitch or stitch; the 1st-person approach is ideal for your book. I’m sorry I can’t offer more, and I do feel rather mute, but I’m happy to back this as I’m sure that fans of this genre will find this a fascinating read. For me it was certainly different, that’s for sure. All the best with it, Tony (If Only I Could Talk – a Canine Adventure)

Merkabah is a tour-de-force of spiritual assertion that is written in an idiom and style that will probably appeal to followers of this belief system. I can respect the author's sincerity, and I'm backing it in the belief that there are many ways to look at the world, and they should not be discouraged. However, it is presented here as non-fiction, and in this context it falls short of the standards I have applied during my professional life in a number of ways. It presents few verifiable facts. It draws conclusions without demonstrating the chain of logic and evidence on which they are based. It makes important assertions about the nature of life and experience in words and phrases that seem deliberately obscure. IMHO if you want to promote serious consideration of the philosophy and beliefs you propound, you will need to strip away much of the flowery and dramatic language and dreams, simplify the words and phrases to inject precision into their meanings and present your propositions based on a well-argued thesis with some factual base. It seems to me that a higher being of the power of Serapis should be well able to express himself clearly through you in these terms. Good luck.

Great story Ariel! I like the telling of the dream right as the opening, however, after that, I would suggest developing the story into the immediate present. In other words, because you go right away into... 6 months later I graduated, took a job, moved, -- I, as the reader, knew exactly where this was going. Though you tell it superbly well, and your writing skills are top notch, the narration took away from me the surprise of discovering the dream was a vision. Of course, as a reader, I can simply take your word that it's a vision, but it's much more convincing (and I am more invested in your MC) when I am led to that conclusion on my own. Does this make any sense? That aside, this is awesome stuff and I am happy to have it on my shelf. I definitely think there is a large market for a-typical spiritual material :) Best of luck David :)

Ariel, Your “Merkabah at the Center of the Universe” documents spiritual believes that are far outside the Big Three mainstream religions. I’m curious. Right away I’m going to suggest that you move the poem from the end of Chapter Two to upfront as the opening to Chapter One (or a Prologue). The message seems to clearly state your goals in an eloquent voice. Many authors begin books with inspirational poetry (maybe you’re avoiding that cliché) and for me this would ease me into your story. Chapter One opens with a nightmare as you flee an assailant down a street. (Interesting that you mention only the colors red and black, so the image appears in my minds eye as a comic book style drawing with flashes of red.) Six months later, after graduating high school, a new job takes you to a new apartment. From the balcony, you recognize the streetscape. Details of a red staircase and a mannequin in a red-and-black dress are identical. Paranoid, boyfriend Craig escorts you and your flat-mates everywhere for a couple of weeks. Harassing phone calls begin and all three girls are terrified. You begin to hear an inner voice telling you to leave – move back to your parents’ home. The others refuse to move but you do. The Norwood Rapist makes the news and is eventually caught, after perpetrating violence similar to that described in earlier phone calls. (This is pretty creepy and I think a bit of editing could make it even more tense and creepier.) Later, while meditating in the hope of hearing this voice again, you are temporarily blinded by a brilliant light and a message from Serapis, who asserts that he teaches the truth. In Chapter Two you briefly describe Serapis and his teachings, as he and his fellow beings are “devoted to assisting planet earth.” You’ve listened for twenty years to his dissertations on various scientific topics, some of which are very timely: global warming and new resources. Chapter Three returns to that first moment of contact with Serapis, wherein your senses are overwhelmed with bizarre sensations, not unlike those described by people who tripped on acid in the 1970s. (Sorry-that’s my gut reaction to what I’m reading. I’m not implying that you did so.) At last you see Serapis sitting before you and the conversation begins. He instructs you on the meaning of experience, memory and recollection as you attempt to write down what’s happening lest you forget. The session ends, you dream and the following day you meditate, hoping to find answers amidst his bewildering questions. He teaches you how to find your center of gravity – palms down to feel the vibration of the planet – magnetic resolution of Pi – to enter the “engine of the lost paradigm.” I admit I’m totally lost. You write well, with an interesting blend of narrative and dialog, and the description is vivid. I’m sure you’ve already been told to rework paragraphs so they’re shorter, so they stick to one topic rather than combining several ideas. I’ll move this to my bookshelf as I’m sure you have an audience in a world that’s tired of religious generated wars and weary from hopelessness, an audience seeking other answers. Mary

Interesting read. I agree with the Carlos Casteneda comment below, and I want to suggest you check out Jane Roberts and her communications with Seth - written in the '70s. As far as this goes - I enjoy what I've read so far. Curious to see what else Serapis has to say...

Hi, No I am not SA although my husband is. I come from Zim. You write from a different world & with great authority. There must be specialist publishers who would jump at this. I am ploughing on because a medium told me that my book would do well; very well. She sounded surprised! So far she is pretty far off course, but as everything else she said was spot-on, I carry on trying. Generally Africa is considered depressing, unless you are indigenous, when it becomes the true voice of the people! Good luck. Kop of 'The Lucky Bean Tree'

The timing for this book is perfect. Things are moving very fast in terms of once off-beat research areas such as noetics, alternative universes (Prof. Michio Kaku, a founder of 'string theory', explained to me that there are 10 according to present thinking) and understanding of shamanism. In addition, it is rumoured that the discovery of actual dark matter is shortly about to be announced. Serapis' teachings thro' Ariel are superbly related. A dramatic description of the dream hooks the reader and then the nice balance between 'am I mad?' and 'this is very real' as Ariel relates her story makes for gripping reading. Backed.

Dear Ariel Du Plume, Thank you for sharing your story with us. You have a great start, with the dream. I actually think it’s intriguing how your long paragraph mimics the continuity of a dream and how it blurs together, and I suggest you even extend this to the end of the dream by absorbing the other paragraph. I like the idea well enough that I hope to use it myself someday. I skipped to chapter seven and found a very different narrative but very interesting theories. In my fallible opinion, you could make your story even more exciting by integrating your first two sentences into “The dream is dark.” This small matter aside, I enjoyed your story. Love a good nightmare. Bravo! Backed. Best wishes, Alan Marling

I keep catching echoes of Carlos Castaneda in there and I can't for the life of me put my finger on the reason why; the subject matter is substantively different and stylistically there are few if any comparisons. But this is by the by and it will no doubt come to me in some moment about six months hence.:) This is not really my cup of tea, being a somewhat atheistical atheist on the wrong side of atheism, but I can't deny that you write exceptionally well and coherently and that there is undoubtedly a larger and altogether less sceptical market than myself out there for writing in this subject area.

This is so thoroughly outside my experience and comfort zone that it would be presumptuous of me to comment on the content. But the writing is well-crafted and effectively conveys a sense of immediacy and emotional involvement. I think this would have strong appeal to readers who are drawn to this subject. On to my shelf it goes.

After re-reading Merkabah. I find just the same difficulty. When you write as a natural person and not as `Serapis' (and of course it is often valuable to invent a character as a sort of mask) you write directly, strongly and with a degree of passion. Your comment on my book was a beauty which made me feel humbled - no kidding. But have you tried reading your Serapis material out loud! It is almost unspeakable except in a hectoring voice. All those abstract latinisms and jumbled parts of speech. Jargon has its place in the world ( as a practised academic author I should know!), but there is a fixed rule in most languages ( and in English in particular) that deep insight is marked by brevity, simplicity of wording, and limpidity of style. These are lacking. Now either you or Serapis is a bullying pedant. I can't believe it is you, so it must be him. Then the question is, is Serapis a `real' figure or a mask. If you take him to be `real'(that is to say, independent of yourself for his existence), then there is really nothing to say. But if he is a mask, then it might be important to let the mask slip every now and again. William Blake somewhere (Marriage of Heaven and Hell, I think) described his conversations with Isaiah or one of the other prophets. He introduces a note of sly irony which is wonderfully funny. He is deliberately convincing and unconvincing at the same moment. Where is your sense of humour? Best wishes DB. I have put this as a public comment because the point we seem to be discussing (use of special language) is a general issue; and because AUTHONOMY is full of seers, sages and wizards from exotic locations.... I note what PIA wrote 12 days ago, and concur.

This is so fascinating, that if you get this finished and published I would dearly love a copy of it. Some of it is so way over my head that I had to read it two to three times to actually understand it. This is perfection. Kess

Hi Ariel This is such a facinating read. I love how you jump from your experiences that have inspired you to write this to your explanations, as you attempt to help us understand. This reads well and flows along. Enjoyed and backed. All the very best of luck with it. Leigh Fallon The Carrier of the Mark

Funny, I was going to comment this book reminded me of The Celestine Prophecy (which I entirely enjoyed) then I saw the comments below mine say the same thing. Guess it's true. Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this. It's very heavy.... but that's it's appeal. Thought provoking and enchanting. My only suggestion is on your first chapter, perhaps separate your very first paragraph into separate paragraphs. It would be more reader friendly. Otherwise, this is a unique piece of work on this site. I'm impressed. Food for the brain! Best of luck with it! PK Hrezo (The 49th Parallel)

This is a complex world, filled with reflections and lessons on the spiritual. I needed to read slowly to give this the attention it deserved. I don't read books of this nature, but I have read the Celestine Prophecy - and it some ways this reminded me of that book. I enjoyed the unfolding of this story, with the teachings from Serapis and the beautiful writing. I did find some of the sentences inpenetrable, even when lingering over them. It is fully explained why Serapis' speech needs to be recounted exactly as he speaks it but I still felt that I was missing out on understanding his words. I loved the concept - the main character has a spiritual message to relay to the world. That immediately gives the words of Serapis immense importance. I had no idea of the dictionary meaning of anecdotal - that really made me stop and think. There's a lot here to enjoy, reflect upon and linger over.

I am fascinated by this subject and I have heard of someone else having a similar experience. I haven't finished reading all of this, for it is midnight, and past my bedtime. I will finish reading it tomorrow. What I have read, I will be putting this up on my shelf.

I love how you bring in the many sciences and spirituality into your writing! I agree with the person below, first person is difficult to write. My only suggestion is that you use "I" too often. Might want to take it out where you can just a little bit. Especially in the first chapter. Other than that I think it's on a good track!

First person is very hard to write. Your writing is quite interesting as it reads like your character is telling us this story. You still seem to go from present tense to past tense which is why writing in first person is so difficult.

David, You beg to be excused since you say you can neither back nor comment. Yet I find your comment to be exact replica of your condescending nature. You aim to disposition truth by activating intention to source. Your clandestine motion neither reforms nor pragmatically restores your notion of truth as a subjective inquisition. The preparatory parlance instigates a view to contentious behaviour. Your style has a defacing premise, and is neither proactive nor pertinent to comment. Sincerely Ariel [QUOTE] Ariel du Plume wrote a very kind and thoughtful comment on my book (All These Are Memories of My Voyage) and asked me if I would care to read `Merkabah'. So of course I have done so and I think I am in honour bound to respond. Since the basic premise of the book is so foreign and indeed repugnant to me, this is not easy. Neo-occult fantasias ( always and in every case building on the previous examples in a tower of cliche) are a way of avoiding truth and beauty, which I always and in every case assume to be rooted in the particular and the concrete. The question then was to find a way to respond that was not merely negative. The way, I concluded was to look at the stuff from which it was made - the quality of the language employed. This gives a very different picture. The first chapter was rivetting; strange but highly convincing. We were reading about something that was real experience, in whatever guise it was dressed. Then we are introduced to a spiritual guide called (of course) Serapis (what else!), and the rest of the book (a further 10 short chapters) constitute a kind of dictation or precis of his teachings..... transcribed in a highly contrived and ingenious jargon (I hope I can use that word without any perjorative sense, because that it what is - a pseudo-recondite language whose meaning is available to only to those who already know what it is. )There is an ingenious defence of this writing position in Ch.3. There were also some rather beautiful and visionary accounts of gardens and dream-landscapes. the only serious question is - what does the author really mean by all this? As a linguistic invention this is a peculiar and partly original flight-of-fancy, which mingles several kinds of specialist language most ingeniously. In fact, it is very good at doing that. In that sense it is what the original rosicrucians would have called a `ludibrium' - a learned jest. (See Frances Yates writings for explanation). If however the book is intended as a veridical account then we must conclude it is balderdash of a specially mendacious kind - mendacious and vicious, because it deflects hearts and minds from real experience which always and everywhere manages with plain language. It is hard enough to cope with life without having to wear fancy dress every day. It may well, of course, be a funny mixture of the two. Ariel writes well, when she writes real language; so I conclude she has real virtues; and these do indeed appear in this text. But since I cannot determine the status of the text - what it is and what it is for - I can neither back nor comment. I must beg to be excused. Sorry, Ariel! DB [ENDQUOTE]

I rather enjoy your sparse style of writing - you are not too wordy, which is refreshing. Agree with the below however, lose the exclamation marks - try it without and you will see that you text is a strong or stronger without. Sometimes, putting a phrase in italics can work as an alternative. You say 'messages of a spiritual nature plead with you to return to your parents home'. I would have liked it if you had elaborated on this. I'm very interested in this, as I've had some pretty strange experiences myself. Anyway, best of luck with this, backed, Cx

Ariel du Plume wrote a very kind and thoughtful comment on my book (All These Are Memories of My Voyage) and asked me if I would care to read `Merkabah'. So of course I have done so and I think I am in honour bound to respond. Since the basic premise of the book is so foreign and indeed repugnant to me, this is not easy. Neo-occult fantasias ( always and in every case building on the previous examples in a tower of cliche) are a way of avoiding truth and beauty, which I always and in every case assume to be rooted in the particular and the concrete. The question then was to find a way to respond that was not merely negative. The way, I concluded was to look at the stuff from which it was made - the quality of the language employed. This gives a very different picture. The first chapter was rivetting; strange but highly convincing. We were reading about something that was real experience, in whatever guise it was dressed. Then we are introduced to a spiritual guide called (of course) Serapis (what else!), and the rest of the book (a further 10 short chapters) constitute a kind of dictation or precis of his teachings..... transcribed in a highly contrived and ingenious jargon (I hope I can use that word without any perjorative sense, because that it what is - a pseudo-recondite language whose meaning is available to only to those who already know what it is. )There is an ingenious defence of this writing position in Ch.3. There were also some rather beautiful and visionary accounts of gardens and dream-landscapes. the only serious question is - what does the author really mean by all this? As a linguistic invention this is a peculiar and partly original flight-of-fancy, which mingles several kinds of specialist language most ingeniously. In fact, it is very good at doing that. In that sense it is what the original rosicrucians would have called a `ludibrium' - a learned jest. (See Frances Yates writings for explanation). If however the book is intended as a veridical account then we must conclude it is balderdash of a specially mendacious kind - mendacious and vicious, because it deflects hearts and minds from real experience which always and everywhere manages with plain language. It is hard enough to cope with life without having to wear fancy dress every day. It may well, of course, be a funny mixture of the two. Ariel writes well, when she writes real language; so I conclude she has real virtues; and these do indeed appear in this text. But since I cannot determine the status of the text - what it is and what it is for - I can neither back nor comment. I must beg to be excused. Sorry, Ariel! DB

Really tight writing. Just two small pieces of advice: lose the exclamation marks in the first few paragraphs - you don't need them and they look silly. And later you talk about relating something to your 'boyfriend at the time.' Make that 'boyfriend of the time.' Just tiny things, but overall a great read. And the subject matter is endlessly fascinating. I like the mad/enlightened angle, because really, it is a question that all of us spiritual beings must face living in this materialistic, ultra-real world. Nice!

Just read chapter one (I will read the others) But putting it up on my shelf, as it is strange and ethereal and I'm fascinated to see where this is going. Is this based on real experiences? Because I had three 'earth shattering' experiences in my life that shaped the book I wrote and found there way in there. Maybe I'll reveal more once I've read more. But I love the unusual...and this is just that.......

Hi Ariel, I'm reading this on my phone on a long road trip. And what a trip you've had! Lovely writing and very personal - nice to read first person. I also believe that great thinkers in history teach us universal truths. However, by chap 3 I was starting to lose the thread. 2 thoughts with my 2 cents worth - maybe get your messages across in a third person parable type way (chicken soup for soul, or the alchamist etc) - keep it in first person but make it more of a quest with danger, challenges to conquer etc etc keeps the reader involved, because you have some awesome messages to convey here. I've backed it. Best! Benjamin

Hi Ariel This book has an ethereal feel to it. You have obviously experienced things that most of us haven't and we are lucky that you are choosing to share your experiences in this book. This was extremely interesting and I enjoyed it. Sarah. T-cup and The Dream Team Fairies

Sandra, I liked the dream sequence enough to back this. It was fast paced and kept me fully engaged. There is room for improvement, but nothing an editor can't help you with. Things like Craig, my boyfriend at the time(you tell us this twice) You careen down stairs not career. good luck. MickR - The Nightcrawler

Hello Sandra, I have to agree with most of what Danial A. Smith said (2 days ago). Your experiences challenge normal thinking and it takes a while to adjust. The first chapter was really gripping. I would like to read more when I have time, but in the meantime, I am SHELVING this. Good luck. Phyllis Burton A Passing Storm (Would you care to take a look at my story)

Hi Sandra, I thought the first chapter was excellent. It really drew me and made me have to know what was coming. I had to backtrack a little in chapter 3 because I got confused, but that's likely my fault. I'm definitely interested in reading more. I want to know more about Serapis. On my shelf!

Ciao, love the topic you have been chosen to explore and bring to light. Backing the book and want ot know more and see how it progresses. I think the tone is a bit inconsistent in the first 3 chapters (with the first one being my favourite one. But I am waiting to see how things evolve...pleasure in backing you. Francesca

Sorry it took me a while to get back to you, but I made it. We write on similar subjects, so it was a pleasure to read your take. I had some minor nitpicks, but overall I felt happy. That's good for me! Good luck. Backed. Philip (Death: The Guidebook / Poland, Why Poland)

Hi Sandra, The opening chapter drew me in and the second offers an interesting introduction to Serapis … but then the third chapter burst open the prose and the ideas in diverse and interesting directions that grabbed me. Not convinced by some of the theories Serapis is espousing, but it does read well and it will be interesting to see how it develops. Enjoyed and backed. Best wishes, Dave

Hello Sandra, Wow, what a life, you have experienced. What an experience, you have been chosen to writing about. What a challenge, you have accepted to find the appropriate words to replace a memory with a book that anyone can experience. The opening chapters are well written and paced, but in Chapter 3, I became lost in a flurry of words. The pace of images and concepts picks up so quickly that I felt like I was going to miss something important. Suggestion, break up this chapter and some of the longer paragraphs, give the reader time to absorb the depth of your writing. Keep experiencing, keep growing and above all keep writing. Daniel “Storykeeper”

Sandra / Ariel: I think you've got something here, but it does need work. Your short pitch: I don't think you need that comma. Long pitch: cue's -> cues | ...death. spiritual... -> capitalize 'Spiritual' (new sentence, you see). Sorry to nag on your pitches, but they are your shop window and they MUST be perfect. The story itself, I felt you were doing a lot of telling, and not enough showing. For example, the sentence or two about the flatmate's ambush of the rapist comes across as a totally thrown-away and insignificant event, one the reader could easily miss. If you re-wrote this to actually show us what happened, it would have serious impact, and help us to get involved in the story. Sorry to sound like a lecturer. Great potential here though, so I'll stick it on my shelf.

hiya Ariel, you've created a convincing world, whether knowable as "truth" or not. and, oh yeah, the prose is clean and accessible. on my shelf. best, andy

Ariel I think it's excellent that you have created this 'teacher' character Serapis, to guide you into the relaxed state in order to be open to taking a journey through the passages of the mind. Mysterious and well written. One of its kind, I think. Well done. Backed Rosali Fieldtrip to Mars

The opening chapter is spooky and gripping and would make an excellent start to a fictional story. Although I'm a total sceptic about Serapis and his talking to you and am not receptive to your message, I can accept others will be receptive and, as I can't find much fault with the writing, I am happy to shelve your book for a while, Carolyn.

Merkabah- This is really well written. Thought provoking. And way above my feeble brain but then I don't think I'm your target reader. However, in reading it, one can't help but admire the depth of thought displayed here. Pretty incredible really. You're an extremely talented author. -Brad

You are either a gifted medium or completely crazy! lol, either way, this is spellbinding. What an imagination! I loved the poetry in chapter 7. I am very sceptical by nature, but you do not try to convince me, you simply narrate a story. Backed with pleasure!

Hi, Ariel. What a strange tale. Nightmares and premonitions, mysticism, philosophy. You have quite a bit going on here. I read 4 chapter and skimmed into the middle. She is on a uniquely personal journey here, Your writing is really nice, flowing style, easy to read and you develop the story and character very well. I do think a little more dialog here and there to break up the narration would put a little more feeling into it. Still, you've done a very good job on this and I think it will do well here. I'll give it time on my shelf. Best of luck with it, Ariel. John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Chapter 7. Wow, it certainly tickled the old brain cells into action! I enjoy philosophy (see my profile) and I enjoyed this but I'm not sure I could take it in too large a dose. It needs music and a soothing voice to narrate it. However, it is certainly interesting. Jim D Serpent's Blood

What a great premise. Some good writing in here. I personally don't like the last line of the pitch, but everything else is interesting!

Hi Ariel. I'm normally a big advocate of a fast moving first chapter with a lot of action, but I'm afraid this first chapter moves a little too quickly for me. A lot of what happens sounds interesting and could be a chapter in itself. Or you could simply start from one point and have the character remember all of what happened here. One thing I'm not clear on: Why do you call this non-fiction and use the first person? Is it auto-biographical?

Hi Ariel, This is incredible but at the beginning, the dream about the rapist and the first meditations, I wanted to believe the chronicle. You stated that you were trying to present Serapis' words and that seems to be the great challenge of this since his language is so abstract. When I concentrated, I could begin to make sense of it. But of course I was attracted to the experiences you described, the garden and the tubes. They were so concrete and detailed by comparison. I wondered what was happening with the narrator's position or body at the point in earth reality? The odd part of it is that Serapis says that these visions actually stem from the narrator's interior and then that leads to make me wonder how much comes from inside her? It's fascinating and, as I said, before, is a chronicle that I wanted to follow as paranormal experience. I've read of such experiences in eastern meditation. Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Ariel, This is certainly creepy. It reminded me in an abstract sort of way of The Mothman Prophecies, not so much in terms of the content but in terms of the real life experience aspect of it. This has all the hallmarks to chill all the way through. I'd agree with some of the other comments about the tagging of its genre, and I did wonder whether the first chapter covers too much too quickly. Otherwise, really exciting. Backed. Miles.

Merkabah looks promising and I will give it some shelf time, but you should think about getting away from the decidedly passive voice in the first chapter where there is an excellent chance to bring your book to life. It begins with the opening sentence and doesn't let up much. Even the descriptions used in what could be an exciting chase are written in a passive manner. Why? Maybe the narrative should be broken by dialogue. An excellent chance comes early with Craig's appearance. ['It was during this time that'-'During my meditation one day'-'Two weeks later'-'The following week end' -etc. I would consider doing an edit and getting rid of all of this stuff that slows the reader and only distracts from your message.] Just a couple of thoughts-Good luck G. Einstein's Road Trip

Ariel, This is very well written. The subject matter is obivously something you have a very keen interest in and know a hell of a lot about. But, I'm nowhere near smart enough to understand it all!! You know what you're talking about, and as it's clear a lot of study and effort has been put into this, I'll back it as I'm sure there are plenty of other readers who'll lap this up as it's very specialised. I just wish I was one of them... Damn my feeble brain...

Okay this is my honest opinion. The first chapter had the hairs standing up and a chill down my spine. The following chapter, I have to admit lost me with the technical jargon. I didn't really understand it at all and that's where I wondered, hmm, maybe this will be the point that people will stop reading. I'm sure you could simplify it just enough to keep it interesting enough to make the reader want more. This is an amazing story but may need a little help to make it commercially viable. Happy to give it a spin on the shelf, and I'll try and come back to read some more sometime. Best wishes Sue

Hey Ariel! As you already know, I'm not big on the supernatural (haha), but I still think big parts of this are highly readable to any lover of good prose. From a lyrical point of view, I very much enjoy the way you drape elements of evolutionary psychology in mysticism. It's like Steven Pinker lost in a poetic jungle. I do feel this will primarily be for the spiritually minded, but I must say it's very well written. Backed, of course! Cheers! Frode

Hi Ariel, Chilling deja vu in the first chapter. One line where better grammar would be: to stop the paranoia that had taken over our lives '...verbalizing that I needed...' - in the second chap (3 on here) - seems a bit clumsy, maybe just 'asking' Apart from this, you have a fascinating story to tell. Backed. Cheers, Simon

Dear Ariel, This looks promising. There is a Sufi saying: Everything matters - nothing matters ... it can be used as a mantra (wazifa). Say that a thousand times every day for a week and see what happens. Socrates cracked it, O.K.. A thought comes here, if nothing matters, you can make everything matter. Serapis message: try and honour it with less complicated language or the people who might benefit switch off. A wonderul challenge, which you accepted. I'd take every advice from those dear writers here who care enough to offer it. My own suggestions for improvement: deeply respect language, use simple accuracy of words and make this message chime. Backed for promise and wishing you the best of success Pia - Thank you for supporting Course of Mirrors.

HI Ariel i have read up to chapter 4 and my comments concern only that portion. this is odd and may be too deep for some people but you are undoubtedly onto a good thing with this. i think it still needs an edit, there is a lot of telling that could be ironed out. i wasnt sure if the intro was part of the novel or not - if not some people m ay dismiss it. being more open minded than some i have backed it. good luck and thanks for sharing it. Judith (Peaceweaver) (The Forest Dwellers)

Chapters 1 & 2 read; I will read on and comment as I go, but so far... Ch2, para 6: Wrong use of the word 'passed', should be 'past'. Thought I'd point that out to you, whilst I remember it. I don't think you need the introduction. The story is grabbing right from the word go, so it would be a shame to alienate some people by explaining the truth. Let them believe it or disbelieve it; let them decide what is truth, without judging you as a freak, which some will surely do. (I don't, by the way!).

Dear Dave, I am telling the reader that modalities used to interpret form(relativity) in the book are sciences such as: Geometry, mathematics etc...and that it is difficult for me to simplify these, 1.) without getting into scientific theories etc... and 2.) without the risk that my interpretation may be incorrect. What about my intro do you find ostentatious? If you read further into the book, which admittedly needs restructuring, you will find the "showing." Are you aware that save for my intro and personal story, the book is mostly a channeled work? regards Ariel [QUOTE] I find the contrast of your opening chapters that is the introduction and your first chapter far too removed from each other to make any real sense to me. Your intro is both confusing and ostentatious you are telling the reader instead of showing - "the modalities used to interpret form are often based on scientific notion - geometry, mathematics, trigonometry etc" - really I would like you to show me how your writing can incorporate such notions - if your first chapter is anything to go by I will stand the top of York if you succeed - Dave [ENDQUOTE]

Okay, I have to admit that I wasn't sure what to expect from this, but the overall is very compelling. Your story is fascinating and you tell it in a way that draws the reader in. I did note a couple places where I felt the writing could have been a bit stronger, but those places were limited and didn't detract from your story. Good Read, Lockjaw

Sandra, I took a look at your chapters this afternoon, and I'm happy to back you. Rodney

This is really neat, and so interesting. I really like it and will keep reading. Backed with pleasure. Mallory (Bolters: The Quest for the Natural One)

Sandra, I must admit to being a little unsure of what to expect when I read your pitch/synopsis and the explanatory note (under heading chapter one), but you write so wonderfully well here, I was drawn into your story in the first few sentences. You have a flowing, highly readable style and a truely original tale to tell. I've always found it strange how some things resonate from our dreams - images, smells - into our everyday, waking lives. Shelved NA 'A Red Sky in Morning' & 'A Passageway with No Exit'

Wow! You have quite a story. You must be so in tune to what is around you. To have such connections would change everything, as your story plainly shows. Good luck. Connie

Hi Sandra, What an interesting life you’ve had!. Your experiences are incredible and how they affect you is not to be underestimated. Normally I would not read such a book as this but I found your writing engaging. I have been criticised about grammar and typo's in my book and often it is a case of not seeing the wood for the trees! Try going back over your writing over, and over again is boring but does pay off. You build with tension and interest, although your story is dramatic anyway. A good premis and deserves a chance. Good luck with this, Regards, Bruce Lockerbie's Deception

I'm not sure I believe any of this, but this is a writing site and what I am judging is the writing - shelved. John

Ariel, I enjoyed reading about your experiences. I am not heavily into marketing and others commented on this. One glaring problem is the translation of your experiences into a form more meaningful and understandable to the average, unexposed reader. Paramahansa does this beautifully. It is the only book I've read that caused my consciousness to shift after each reading. He is exposed to higher experiences and Beings but is somehow able to relate this as an understandable, personal communication. You face a challenge: Master Serapis' concepts are complicated and not easily grasped in words. But then again, neither were those of Jesus: he used parables. Although I made it through 1 & 2, CH 3 was a struggle. I wish I could give you some guideline, but the friends or relatives who read your manuscript should honestly identify where they get lost. I am backing this for its potential. Alan-Time of the Avatar

You've obviously put a great deal of time and thought into this. Not being altogether familiar with this type of writing, I simply sat back and allowed myself to experience what you were offering. This is intriguing, courageous and deeply personal. I'm happy to back this. Jonathan MARTUK ... THE HOLY

Hi Ariel, I enjoy reading books like yours, and yours is better written than many already published. Chapter 2 was as much as I had time to read, but I would like to read more of it as I get more time. There was only one thing on Chapter 2 that I found to comment on: Paragraph beginning with: “ Two weeks later…” The next sentence ‘consistently’ ought to be ‘constantly’, unless you mean the calls came consistently at a certain time of day or on a certain day consistently. But if you mean it happened all the time, or very often, then constantly would be the word. Thanks for an enjoyable read. Madison Woods - Retribution

When it comes to true life works I tend to hesitate in my commentary. But I will say that I read your uploaded chapter 4, and found the text engaging and thought provoking. Best of luck to you.

Dear Lorraine, Thank you for taking the time to read my book, and for your comment. I must be honest with you Lorraine, I didn't get very far in reading your book because I came across a stipulation that I do not believe is in line the spiritual protocol. You say in your book that it is not true that everyone can be a medium. Whilst there are different levels of mediumship for different levels of comprehension among people, the overall message is the same. . .that of human equality. Every human being has the ability to connect and communicate with the spiritual world. Some people are afraid, or entrenched in religious dogma. Most simply do not believe they are worthy of this connection. They don't believe they are 'special' enough. It is our duty Lorraine, to relay to them that they have this potential within them and then teach them to reach it. We all have the potential because we all have the same spiritual identity in essence. Some of us have a spiritual contract to teach this identity...and that is an honour not an advantage. Granted, there are those that claim to be messengers when they have not yet reached their potential to do so. These are refered to as Charlatans. They too need to be guided through love and acceptance, and not exclusion and rejection. We need to teach people how to form their own connections, not to depend on us for every choice they need to make, because we too are just human and can easily err. Equality with double standards is the very reason democracy fails our modern world. With much respect, Ariel [QUOTE] I'm afraid it is all a bit dramatic for me, but then, people like drama and so this book will do very well. My Guides/Helpers are luckily far more gentle and calming and go about their work quietly. I had many experiences whilst being taught by those in the world of spirit and some quite extraordinary. None though were as exotic or dramatic as yours appear to have been as mine stay firmly in the present and the future whilst yours seem to go into the past also. I am given predictions of future events in our country and abroad. Many of which have been documented and dated. The most recent being the London underground bombings. The predictions were so accurate, even down to the people concerned. I too have been given much writing and teachings from them for people of this world and in time shall have them shown for others to read. With your book and mine, it seems as though they are now determined to get their views across to the people of our world. I wish you luck with your book - it appears to be flying up the charts. Well done. Lorraine. x A Guide's Guide to Mediumship and Healing [ENDQUOTE]

Ariel/Sandra - this is utterly amazing. I had to check my Masters and their Retreats book by the Prophets to remember who Serapis Bey is. There's more pages devoted to him than just about any other ascended master. Heavily involved in the great pyramids, the Parthenon, master painter, sculptor, builder, so many things. Truly amazing work you're doing, and I wish you all the success that is surely coming. It does get heavy on the brain at times, and I can imagine how you must feel in his presence, trying to get the brain around the concepts and teachings. As a reader, I appreciated the mind-breaks when you spoke about how you were feeling or what you were doing. For you as an author, this might be one of your main challenges, to present these teachings in a way that as many people can absorb as possible without the masses saying, "too heavy for me," and picking up some light reading. Hah, a pun. But truly this is a monumental work and so I applaud you. I also would recommend a bit more in the beginning scenes with Serapis as to what you were going through. It seemed his fantastic appearance put you at ease to some degree, yet I wanted to read a bit more about what that must have felt like. How jarring to suddenly have an "entity" with you. After 3 chapters, I found a couple of tiny typos or things that looked like typos to me, so I wanted to mention them. See what you think... curious and nervous (at) the same time. one (needs) to refer or one's need is to refer? I worked at it (til) noon. an (idea," he) said. Come with me," he said. All in all, this is truly amazing and on my shelf and I will need to get back into this. Thank you, Ariel. If you want to talk more, please feel free to connect with me either here or through my direct email or websites. Best, Jason

I want to see this published. Chapter three ends rather oddly/abruptly, as though it was just a random choice to end it "here". There is a lot to take in here and fiction or non-fiction, it's well written. The imagery is wonderful. Dena Gray - Crescendo Oronis

Bloody hell Ariel! Bloody hell!!!!! Fascinating read, you clever clever lady! Backed! Simon x

Arial, For me, this novel (or at least the first few chpaters) reflects two things. First, you are exceptially smart, almost frighteningly so (or is it perhaps Sarapis who is the genious and you are merely the vessel?). Second, as indicative by your prose and descriptions, your wiriting is facscinating and amazingly original. I should note here, that the dreams in this first chaper possess a quality that makes me think of something between Alice and Wonderland and, as you compared it yourself, Charlie and the Choloate Factory. While the third chaper in particular makes me think (and I say this in thr most respectful fashion, so please do not take offence) of someone on an extremely high dose of some halucinogenic drug, it is also powerful and oddly gripping for it's sheer originionality and brilliance. If I had skipped to chapter 3, would probably have thought of calling in the white coats, Except the near-perfection and obvious level-headedness with which you decribe your surroundings and alomst-attack in the earlier chapters, tells me you are wholley and completey sane. I must therefore either conclude that Sarapis and your deams that involve him are metaphorical for something realitty-based, or, come to a far more startling conclusion. That the supernatiural, metophisical and spiritual world of which i so often tentatively beleive and often have considered delving into, are in fact real. For this reason, your novel evokes something between fascination and fear, curiosity and respect. Finally, I must applaude your bravery. Very few people (perhaps including myself) would so openly admit to seeing and speaking to, and indeed fully intacting with, a spiritual entity. Largely for the very reason I mentioned earier. You should know, I understand fully that this is a reflection of a unique system of spiritual beleif that you carry within you, one which i respect and admire you for following. You have opened my eyes to a whole new level of belief, while also teaching me something valuable. I always thought I was open-minded and accpeting of all things and systems of beliefs, however, you have made me realize how narrow-minded myself and much of the world is. That for a moment, I considered you might be simply mad, tells me how very much I have to learn about openness and aceptence. For this lesson, I thank you. For your powerful wiriting and orgionality, I applaud you, for your bravery in expressing your experience, I respect you. And for evreything all rolled nealty into one, I back you. -Raven The Shadowsword Saga

Dear Isabel, It is with interest that I speculate your concern. The initial support is restructured as antithesis. The resulting structure frequents the notion of truth as re-combining factors in isolation. The fact remains that truth is a conditioning factor that allows us to consolidate matters into non-descript forms. The relation is made between fact and non-fact as a discriminate notion. The theory ascertains to commandeering prejudice. If by fault, your theory is conclusive, then the theory advocates intent to administer practice as the consolidating notion of truth. Kind Regards Ariel [QUOTE] I am wondering whether your book should be classifed as fiction rather than non-fiction. I understand that you are relaying the messages / philosophy of Serapis, but maybe structured a little differently? There is a stark contrast between Chapter 1 and the following Chapters. You should work on this transition. Travelling through the spheres of being and the descriptions make me wonder whether you actually experienced travelling through apparent space into your inner spiritual being to arrive at a space which is a description of a very human garden - maybe one created by you on earth - your description of utopia / perfection internalised? What I also find interesting in commenting on the management of very complex theories and philosophical statements is that the world narrated seems to comprise of the male figure as containing wisdom and knowledge. A perfect world surely is the complete fusion, integration, of all that is male and female in our known world. When a spirit returns to earth for the next part of its journey to perfection it surely chooses whether to appear in a male or female form to complete a learning process. When does one achieve perfection - which is ultimately imperfection in our world as Serapis so eloquently explains - will you be addressing that further in your narrative? Editing is definitely necessary, clothing each message more succinctly, allowing clusters of concepts to emerge. You have a deep and thought provoking message but easier presentation could take all of us along with you in order to comprehend and internalise Serapis' message through your words. Have you read a book by Echo Bodine - Echoes of the Soul. Might provide you with additional insights without allowing her message to impinge on yours. Much to read and understand On my shelf - and good luck grappling with what you are grappling with Isabel [ENDQUOTE]

I am wondering whether your book should be classifed as fiction rather than non-fiction. I understand that you are relaying the messages / philosophy of Serapis, but maybe structured a little differently? There is a stark contrast between Chapter 1 and the following Chapters. You should work on this transition. Travelling through the spheres of being and the descriptions make me wonder whether you actually experienced travelling through apparent space into your inner spiritual being to arrive at a space which is a description of a very human garden - maybe one created by you on earth - your description of utopia / perfection internalised? What I also find interesting in commenting on the management of very complex theories and philosophical statements is that the world narrated seems to comprise of the male figure as containing wisdom and knowledge. A perfect world surely is the complete fusion, integration, of all that is male and female in our known world. When a spirit returns to earth for the next part of its journey to perfection it surely chooses whether to appear in a male or female form to complete a learning process. When does one achieve perfection - which is ultimately imperfection in our world as Serapis so eloquently explains - will you be addressing that further in your narrative? Editing is definitely necessary, clothing each message more succinctly, allowing clusters of concepts to emerge. You have a deep and thought provoking message but easier presentation could take all of us along with you in order to comprehend and internalise Serapis' message through your words. Have you read a book by Echo Bodine - Echoes of the Soul. Might provide you with additional insights without allowing her message to impinge on yours. Much to read and understand On my shelf - and good luck grappling with what you are grappling with Isabel

hi ariel, lots of information. Are you sure the average reader is able to take in dozens of philosophical theories in just a couple of chapters and make sense of the reading? But then, I suppose the medium is the message and that is what you want to achieve. Myself, I would have a couple of arguments with the elders, but then they are merely of the lower caste, or am I mistaken? The theories are,by Serapis' own definition,not written in stone but floating and I wonder if you can deliver new material out of the chaos of the (so far) raw creation. I am interested how you will reconcile escape from rape with the aetheric body- attraction towards Serapis who is definitely a bright and luring spirit. (Granny's advice : Make sure you get something out of this relationship, other than getting burned.) The writing is attractive, the intro without boundaries, the thoughts thoughtprovoking. On WL to be shelved and good luck.

fascinating read which must go on my shelf. Carole

Merkebah At The Centre of the Universe Hi Sandria, Wow, what a life you’ve had so far. Making sense of it, dressing with words has hopefully been helpful. Your experiences are chilling and your response to them understandable. I don’t do supernatural, only write about it (ha, ha) so I reviewed your book on the writing alone. You build tension and interest, I know your story is dramatic anyway, but telling it that way is an art form in itself. And being that all these things are so terribly real, you have done a great job of presenting them to us to explore and to try to understand. You have made a deep and purposeful sense of your experience that has enabled you to carry on and you have written this book with a warm-hearted spirit which shines through your words. I will shelve this to help it out, the writing was engaging and even if I don’t do otherworldly, a mere mortal human, I can acknowledge the beliefs and experiences of others and respect the profound importance they have. This book will bring many hope, a courageous act in writing it. Well done. Best wishes and good luck Andrew W (Sanctuary’s Loss)

Sandra, based on the quality of the writing and the originality alone, I would back the your book. The story sends chills up the reader’s spine. For example, when you and Craig stood on the balcony of the new apartment the imagery is very real. The fact you are taking about the infamous Jacobus Geldenhuys (the Norwood rapist) adds a more troubling dimension. Had the police taken the matter more seriously, they could have saved five lives and prevented a score of violent rapes. Anyway, I will continue reading more of this latter. It’s a little unsettling right now.

This is an intriguing book. I was thankful for the explanation about the language at the beginning. Then, I was so drawn into your story, perhaps because of the way in which you narrated it, perhaps because of the experience you were recounting. I must admit, that when reading the dialogue of Serapis, I cannot say that I really understood the meaning behind his words, just as you explain you felt confused. And yet, I am equally fascinated and full of wonder. As a yoga student, I practise meditation and think it commendable that you have been able to each a state where by your visions give you insight and clarity. Kendall Craig, The Halo (of Delight)

Ariel, this is very unique and such an eye opening read. I was completly wrapped up in your writting - so curious to learn more. I'm a huge fan of Paulo Coelho and this has a similiar feel to his writtings - while still being very different. This is very interesting and I'd love to read more. Happy to shelve. Melissa

This will be an interesting read in its entirety. I am at odds with the Serapis. Twisitng a young girl's brain. Serapis can talk his way into and out of anything using spurious logic that entangles the donar whilst entrenching him more deeply into their mind. A parasite? Perhaps. On writing, you are skilful, and know what you want to say and say it. Curious structure, exemplerary of writing from the heart, and with this one, of course, you are a bit out on your own. I back you on this one. I think there is a sense of freedom in your writing. BACKED.

Hi Ariel I decided to read your book tonight instead of tomorrow. The first few chapters are well written, short and ordinary enough. Ordinary in the sense that there are plenty of people, more that most realise, who have gifts such as yours. Your last chapter is too big and needs to be organised into appropriate messages to enable the reader to digest and appreciate. I read it in one go and found my brain was on overload. The writing is good the concepts are excellent. Take some time to organise. I will back your book since I can see plenty of exciting ideas here. Adrian

I backed this previously, Jared informed me you lost your backings. Will back this again! T

As good now as the first time. Backed.

Sandra, this is very cleverly written. I'm out of my depth with much of the content, but I applaud the quality of the writing. I enoyed chapter 4 containing the poems and the discourse between Plato and Socrates but couldn't make the kink between this chapter and those that preceded it, probably a deficiency on my part. The pitches are good and the cover too. I'm very far removed from your target audience, but I see distinct possibilities here. Backed to encourage fine writing. Jared.

I've put this back on my shelf again! Good luck and best wishes David Green Ore

This is an incredible read. I thoroughly recommend it. Best, Sana

The dream becoming reality is very compelling. I think many of us have had this happen, where a dream we once had starts playing out in real life. Frightening, really. But also showing the potential for something more, or else how could it be? Clearly, if in a dream we can glimpse the reality of the future, then the world as we know it is not all that is. What I like about your book is that you have the courage to explore and talk about this world, to help us see other possibilities. Making it easier is the fact that your book is not just a collection of facts and descriptions. You have a good story here that stands on its own merits, with your main character and Craig. Quite suspenseful, really. I will read more. But for your concept, courage of topic, and writing skill, I am shleving it now.

Intriguing. Norwood chimed instantly - I know that part of the world! The opening is an incredibly strong and real tingle down the spine stuff (I have had dreams that have come true so I know that feeling of Oh My God! as you recognise a place you've never been to before, in the conscious world). I really enjoy the way you write about life in the real world. What I think I needed to know upfront was whether everything from midway through Chapter Two to the end of Four is channelled? Maybe it's t here and I missed it. I was confused as to why we were suddenly with Plato and Socrates for instance. It feels as if there is some ordering to do here. I also think your own 'voice' is so strong that you do yourself a disservice if you don't include more of it. It would earth the difficult esoteric information you're giving and make this far more accessible (IMHO!). Fascinating though and I'd love to know where this goes as you continue. Backed Jane WALKER

Hello Ariel, I'm just a simple shaman; therefore the thoughts of Serapis Bey, el Morya, Hilarion, Meitreya etc....are probably out of my league at least for the most part. But I think you and the entity working through you have something important say. The thing is how do you strip it back and morph it into a form of words that can be readily accessed by guys like me. If you can do that I think 'Best Seller' is not out of reach. I've been attempting to bend my brain around Alice Bailey's work for years; it's all straight forward to my wife but to me it's classical Greek. Anyway I've shelved your work because my instincts tell me it's important. I'm going to read it again, and again. Oh, and your use of verse is spot on. Don't feel obliged to look at my authonomy stuff it just a spiritual adventure that came to me in day dream one day. You know what I mean, 'What if it happened this way instead of that, how would it turn out then.' Well done and shelved! J

Hi Sandra! Dreams are fascinating things, aren't they? I'm not sure what I can say about this piece, there's really no advice I can give you on structure or content. I would suggest that you section your pitch into multiple paragraphs to make it easier on the eye. Also, if this is YOUR personal journey (I see you've got this classified as non-fiction), you might want to mention that in your pitch - it will instantly connect potential readers with the author, compell them to read the story. Inside, I found nothing out of place. Your delivery is filled with tension, which made me want to keep reading - great touch on that! Love the hook at the end of chapter one, forcing me to turn the page. All in all, this is really very good! Happy to back this! Kim Invisible Justice

Hi there. Shelved to read some more. I love the poems and reflections on life at the end. To be read with calm and time. Lots of luck with it.. maybe you need to make it a bit more 'Reader Friendly'. Cheers.......Mikey

Others are better suited in giving you advice about the structure and mechanics of your English. I have simply an opinion about whether I like something or not. I enjoyed this; now I don't know if that has to do with my world view or yours but it struck a chord deep in my soul. Backed.

Dear Pierre, Thank you for your comment. I will reply to that after I give you the latest news from the Cape flats. "Maandag Kom Pikkewyn Adams vroeg van die werk af. Hy vang sy vrou Meraai en die buur Gatiep, oppie jop! Pikkewyn gryp vir Gatiep en moer hom sommer uit die derde vloer se venster uit en skreeu agter hom: "UIT JOU INSEK! AS JY KAN STEEK KAN JY VLIEG!" Regards, Ariel [QUOTE] Dear Ariel, Kringe in ’n bos. Nice work. I read the work as Circles in the Forest. My sentiment is that the best novels have yet to be written and many of them will come out of South Africa. I suspect we have our own Grapes of Wrath among the Afrikaans people early last century. The burning of the farms by the British, they way they treated the Dutch (as in Kringe), lack of higher education, nepotism among the English regarding jobs, gold shipped to the UK and USA at $28 an ounce, Britain’s monopoly on mining, industry and banking in SA. The Afrikaners, homeless and jobless, roaming the country. Lots of research there. OK, enough waffling. Your cliff-face of a para disclosing your synopsis is a little difficult to surmount. A more inviting visual presentation would be to divide your synopsis into three or four paragraphs, separated by a line-space. That will make it lekker and snazzy. The editor will love you. Non-fiction outsells fiction two-to-one. But agents and publishers will want to know who you are and what your authority is. I think it’s a bit corny to list your name after your non de plume. Perhaps use one or the other. A bit unhappy with the repetition of words in Sea of Life. Leave it. Don’t mess around with small things like this until you have the whole before you. They often solve themselves via synchronicity. Usually at thee a.m. and one has to jump out of bed and write them down. ‘You’ might be presumptuous. ‘We are unprepared …’ etc might be more acceptable to the reader. I think you go overboard on the words you use. Tee-hee. I have only read the first three lines. You must realise I was educated at Potchefstroom Proefplaas … so I do know how to plough a field. It would read smoother if you chucked superfluous words, especially adverbs and adjectives. I would tighten the writing by deleting words like … haunting, exactly, immediately … OK, not much tightening. I got down to Norwood. We lived just across the road in Orange Grove. The past participle ‘had’ seems to encumber our writing. Some people use it once and then don’t repeat it. ‘… had disturbed me. I (had) insisted…’ I just take the second had out. I think you could pare this writing quite a bit. Take out superfluous words. Make it flow easier for the reader. Don’t like exclamation marks, tee-hee. I think they spoil our writing. Craig chaperoned us everywhere … is how I would tighten this and wave goodbye to ‘had’. I do think you overwrite and should take words out of sentences and sentences out of paragraphs. I am so ruthless, I will even chuck a whole para. Obviously … chuck all words ending ‘ly’. Obviously, exactly, clearly, similarly, seemingly, lately, and all the rest. I have read chapter two. It comes across as a first draft and in my opinion really needs to be smoothed out for the reader. I have been through this before many times with my own stuff. Taking words out is the secret to editing and rewriting is the secret to writing. OK, lets moan and groan about chapter three. The words rang through my body, echoing in my mind … is how I would smooth that first sentence. The next one should be pared too. Cliff-face paras lower down. Can probably by thinned and divided in two. I would go after ‘had’ with the castration knife. The spinning (had) stopped … You should simplify this writing. I feel strongly about this. What is a closed lipped smile? A smirk? Are you using Roget’s Thesaurus? It’s fantastic. I just about take it to bed with me. Seek the appropriate noun or verb. It soon becomes a habit and smooths the writing. Chapter four is different to two and three. I was going to say the first part is narrative driven and narrative might be converted to dialogue to make this character driven. But chapter four doesn’t readily connect with what happens before. To me, it comes across as preaching. You will have to see what everybody else thinks. Again, I thought it overwritten and should be pared. However, finish the work. Much easier to judge the whole. I find the finished work isn’t what I intended when I set out. I change chapters around. A later chapter becomes appropriate for a new first chapter, I mould other areas. After the first draft, I usually rewrite three times. And what I end up with isn’t anything like I started with. Also, the act of writing hones the mind. Go well with your stuff. I am struggling and have just been turned down by a New York agency who requested the full manuscript on a six week exclusive read basis. Very hard to accept being jilted like that. I’d rather be writing. Kind regards, Pierre. [ENDQUOTE]

Dear Ariel, Kringe in ’n bos. Nice work. I read the work as Circles in the Forest. My sentiment is that the best novels have yet to be written and many of them will come out of South Africa. I suspect we have our own Grapes of Wrath among the Afrikaans people early last century. The burning of the farms by the British, they way they treated the Dutch (as in Kringe), lack of higher education, nepotism among the English regarding jobs, gold shipped to the UK and USA at $28 an ounce, Britain’s monopoly on mining, industry and banking in SA. The Afrikaners, homeless and jobless, roaming the country. Lots of research there. OK, enough waffling. Your cliff-face of a para disclosing your synopsis is a little difficult to surmount. A more inviting visual presentation would be to divide your synopsis into three or four paragraphs, separated by a line-space. That will make it lekker and snazzy. The editor will love you. Non-fiction outsells fiction two-to-one. But agents and publishers will want to know who you are and what your authority is. I think it’s a bit corny to list your name after your non de plume. Perhaps use one or the other. A bit unhappy with the repetition of words in Sea of Life. Leave it. Don’t mess around with small things like this until you have the whole before you. They often solve themselves via synchronicity. Usually at thee a.m. and one has to jump out of bed and write them down. ‘You’ might be presumptuous. ‘We are unprepared …’ etc might be more acceptable to the reader. I think you go overboard on the words you use. Tee-hee. I have only read the first three lines. You must realise I was educated at Potchefstroom Proefplaas … so I do know how to plough a field. It would read smoother if you chucked superfluous words, especially adverbs and adjectives. I would tighten the writing by deleting words like … haunting, exactly, immediately … OK, not much tightening. I got down to Norwood. We lived just across the road in Orange Grove. The past participle ‘had’ seems to encumber our writing. Some people use it once and then don’t repeat it. ‘… had disturbed me. I (had) insisted…’ I just take the second had out. I think you could pare this writing quite a bit. Take out superfluous words. Make it flow easier for the reader. Don’t like exclamation marks, tee-hee. I think they spoil our writing. Craig chaperoned us everywhere … is how I would tighten this and wave goodbye to ‘had’. I do think you overwrite and should take words out of sentences and sentences out of paragraphs. I am so ruthless, I will even chuck a whole para. Obviously … chuck all words ending ‘ly’. Obviously, exactly, clearly, similarly, seemingly, lately, and all the rest. I have read chapter two. It comes across as a first draft and in my opinion really needs to be smoothed out for the reader. I have been through this before many times with my own stuff. Taking words out is the secret to editing and rewriting is the secret to writing. OK, lets moan and groan about chapter three. The words rang through my body, echoing in my mind … is how I would smooth that first sentence. The next one should be pared too. Cliff-face paras lower down. Can probably by thinned and divided in two. I would go after ‘had’ with the castration knife. The spinning (had) stopped … You should simplify this writing. I feel strongly about this. What is a closed lipped smile? A smirk? Are you using Roget’s Thesaurus? It’s fantastic. I just about take it to bed with me. Seek the appropriate noun or verb. It soon becomes a habit and smooths the writing. Chapter four is different to two and three. I was going to say the first part is narrative driven and narrative might be converted to dialogue to make this character driven. But chapter four doesn’t readily connect with what happens before. To me, it comes across as preaching. You will have to see what everybody else thinks. Again, I thought it overwritten and should be pared. However, finish the work. Much easier to judge the whole. I find the finished work isn’t what I intended when I set out. I change chapters around. A later chapter becomes appropriate for a new first chapter, I mould other areas. After the first draft, I usually rewrite three times. And what I end up with isn’t anything like I started with. Also, the act of writing hones the mind. Go well with your stuff. I am struggling and have just been turned down by a New York agency who requested the full manuscript on a six week exclusive read basis. Very hard to accept being jilted like that. I’d rather be writing. Kind regards, Pierre.

I read your bio and thought I'm happy reading this person's book, then i read the pitch and thought, forget even looking at the book I'd buy it already from the pitch. That's partly because I'm a shamanic healer and very interested in spiritualism because we heal through using spirits. I am backing this book and really wish it was out there to buy. Good luck with it, I'll be reading it all.

Hi Steve, Thank you very much. I will google holy enigma...and I promise to read your book soon. What I am trying to say will be apparent in the next half of the book. How I came by this writing is through my ability to communicate with beings from other dimensions. This is where I get it from. I am what is refered to as a 'medium'. The point of my book is that everybody can learn to tune into the expanded consciousness, a place not subject to the parametric parameters of the senses. To a certain extent, fiction writers already do this! But I think I need to add an extra chapter in the beginning of my book to explain all this. So thank you for your assistance Steve. p.s. How did a redneck land up in a hindu temple? Regards Ariel QUOTE] Ariel, Brilliant! And to sum all that up in just a few words your are saying??? I can't believe it read every word, and my head is very tired. I had an idea but I think I lost it along the way. My brain hasn't worked that hard in a long time. I did catch a few things like the translation issue. I wrote an entire book on that subject. Just Google Holy Enigma! if you would like to take a look. I was just wondering how you came by this piece of excellent writing? And what are you trying to achieve, exactly? My brother is writing his memoir about consciousness called How a Redneck Ended Up in a Hindu Temple. I am going tell him to get on Authonomy and read your book. Are you done or is there more coming? Fascinating! Steve Ward Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge [ENDQUOTE]

Ariel, Brilliant! And to sum all that up in just a few words your are saying??? I can't believe it read every word, and my head is very tired. I had an idea but I think I lost it along the way. My brain hasn't worked that hard in a long time. I did catch a few things like the translation issue. I wrote an entire book on that subject. Just Google Holy Enigma! if you would like to take a look. I was just wondering how you came by this piece of excellent writing? And what are you trying to achieve, exactly? My brother is writing his memoir about consciousness called How a Redneck Ended Up in a Hindu Temple. I am going tell him to get on Authonomy and read your book. Are you done or is there more coming? Fascinating! Steve Ward Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

Dear Paxie, Thank you for backing my book. I am not familiar with Doris Stokes, but will certainly read up on her. Do you think I should change my pitch? Thank you for pointing out my grammatical errors. You are right! I think my errors are the result of directly translating from the language I was thinking in, to English. For example, in Italian we say "with heart in throat," to describe fear. Is there a way to correct these on the site without having to repost? I will read your book soon as I have a moment. Kind regards, Ariel [QUOTE] Ariel Have you read Voices in my Ear by Doris Stokes. She was likely the most respected medium ever..... Your pitch doesn't compliment the friendly simplistic writing voice of your manuscript....But still it drew me in.... I made some notes:- I'd delete the words in commas thinking 'that' it would probably problem was 'that' I lived sixty left 'my' home seemed 'that' the colour had drained. i 'had' insisted parents 'had' left flat mates 'had' refused all that 'had' happened. I had had........better to say....I'd had Also ....I had seen, I had been, I had fled.....I found this repetitive..... seen, been & fled, are all past tense on their own..... heart pounding in my throat,,,, do you mean, heart pounding in my chest..... I read your first two chapters,,,,,spooky but a great read....Would like your view on mine... [ENDQUOTE]

Ariel Have you read Voices in my Ear by Doris Stokes. She was likely the most respected medium ever..... Your pitch doesn't compliment the friendly simplistic writing voice of your manuscript....But still it drew me in.... I made some notes:- I'd delete the words in commas thinking 'that' it would probably problem was 'that' I lived sixty left 'my' home seemed 'that' the colour had drained. i 'had' insisted parents 'had' left flat mates 'had' refused all that 'had' happened. I had had........better to say....I'd had Also ....I had seen, I had been, I had fled.....I found this repetitive..... seen, been & fled, are all past tense on their own..... heart pounding in my throat,,,, do you mean, heart pounding in my chest..... I read your first two chapters,,,,,spooky but a great read....Would like your view on mine...

Dear Ariel, This is writng that demands to be read slowly, to be chewed over word for word. Greater minds than mine will no doubt be able to savour the deep philosophy of it, but I'm afraid I was quite out of my depth. For that reason alone I don't feel able to give any meaningful comment. It may be that you have experienced this supernatural visitation yourself, in which case I understand the difficulty of trying to explain and describe something that is beyond words. Even so, I think you should have a spell on the shelf because I am always drawn to the mysterious and also because Serapis (Though often unintelligible to me!) is strangely attractive. Good luck on your way to the ed's desk. J&M Jensen (Graemor)

Hi Tony, thank you for your comment and run on your shelf. Although, I do think that what differentiates my book from other spiritual books, is that mine challenges scientists to engage in the scientific theories and evaluate what is being proposed on the basis of the theorems already given. If they can prove that what I am proposing is incorrect, then I urge them to come forward....How's that? kind regards, Ariel [QUOTE] I'm sure this will have great appeal to people in search of spiritual enlightment, but if you are to attract the more discerning and questioning reader, I think you should try to justify your premise by triangulating it against know scientific fact. You may have convinced youself that you have spiritual connections which provide you with answers to some of life's mysteries, but no intelligent person will accept that at face value. I'm sure you would want to appeal to eaders others than the gullible and deluded, so each statement of 'factual outcome' must be balanced with scientifically proven cause, rather than spiritual supposition. Despite my reservations, I can see a lot of people buying this book, so it deserves a run on my shelf. Best wishes, Tony. [ENDQUOTE]

Great pitch, and the opening is full of darkness and intrigue, more than enough to keep me interested. Your writing style is haunting. I can't suggest anything to improve. It all works for me. Backed. Jonathan Watts Jenvilno

Different. Not sure I can say much more than that. i think this is a book my mom would read, she is always looking to the bigger picture and is uber spiritual. That said, I had a little difficulty getting into it. This is no a reflection of your writing as it is up to par but with me as it is something I wouldn't read. From your short pitch I thought were were going to have a roaring fiction book, but I see it is marked Non-fiction and this is very different from any non-fic I have read. Backed for the idea and the newness for I can confidently say I have never seen something like this on here before. T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

I'm sure this will have great appeal to people in search of spiritual enlightment, but if you are to attract the more discerning and questioning reader, I think you should try to justify your premise by triangulating it against know scientific fact. You may have convinced youself that you have spiritual connections which provide you with answers to some of life's mysteries, but no intelligent person will accept that at face value. I'm sure you would want to appeal to eaders others than the gullible and deluded, so each statement of 'factual outcome' must be balanced with scientifically proven cause, rather than spiritual supposition. Despite my reservations, I can see a lot of people buying this book, so it deserves a run on my shelf. Best wishes, Tony.

This was very intriguing and enlightening. I enjoy this type of work, only I have to admit half way through chapter four my eyes were bugging at all the big words. I had to read pretty slowly to comprehend after a while. You must have a brilliant mind. Good luck with this.

Personally, I found this a joy to read. It was most thought provoking and I found myself questioning your rationale sometiimes, which I believe to be a healthy recourse. However, and I'm afraid it's a big 'however' I do have two burning questions for you and they are as follows... 1. Who is your target audience? I have studied most of the mainstream religions in the world for the past eight years. I knew for example that a 'Merkabah' was the Hebrew word for a chariot and that a 'tabernacle' was a Jewish term for 'dwelling place or home'. Another Jewish reference in your book is to the 'Elohim' meaning those that came from the sky, i.e. deities, angels and God himself. You mention 'Magnus Opus' or rather 'Opus Magnus' meaning 'Great work' in Latin. Your MC thus far in your book, apart from yourself is 'Serapis' the Hellenistic/Egyptian god. OK, so there's me showing off knowing those things... 2. How many other readers would have known half of those facts? If I were to answer my own questions it would be... 1. Not too sure apart from intellectual highbrows or Jews. 2. A small fraction of the world's population. I think you need to dumb it down a little. Keep the superb writing and the thought provoking prose. But give your readers the benefit of your no doubt exceptional education and explain one or two things for them along the way. Those that knew the facts already will forgive you that. By doing so you capture a greater audience. And Sandra, one last thought, beware those who would line the streets (or in your case agree with every word you say just to get a recipropcation) and marvel at the 'Emperor's new clothes. Kindest Regards Cato Sulla (Backing your book for all the right reasons)

Ariel MERKABAH – ‘chariot of God’ if I’m not mistaken. I see from your favourite books that we have been spending time in the same library. Very interesting. Your use of fictionalised demonstration marks this out from other books of its kind. You write clear and well. I love the evocative imagery in ch3 and I particularly enjoyed the Identity chapter (Ch4). Good work! I’ll be interested to see how this does. Shelved with pleasure David Green Ore

Compelling stuff. Loved it. Best, Sana