a very natural writting style makes this book flow. you use dialogue very well too to complete your skills as a writer... backed... read SEASONS...

Mesmerized. Good narrative flow, tantalizing dialogue and twists in the plot ensure a mesmerizing read. Backed. Azam Gill “Blasphemy!”

I agree with Laurie's comments. Your title is brilliant and you've got a great lead character in Madeline Steele. Enjoyed it and will come back for more. Frank

I think this is an interesting story and you have nice description. A couple suggestions for the first paragraph: Rain had begun to beat down.. - try: Rain began to beat down... ...and large dark sunglasses which definitely hid.... - try: ...and large dark sunglasses, hiding my eyes from the world. Where you mention all the black clothing, I think you need to find a way to say this without using the word "black" so much. You could start off put the sentence "I wore all black, dressed for death." ahead of the description of what she is wearing, then possibly cut out all the "black" words, since the reader will already know that her blouse, skirt, etc are black. Overall, it's just important to watch for redundant words and using "had" too much. Its always suggested to break up your pitch into 2 or 3 paragraphs. Nice work. shelved.