Your story comes across as hurried, as if you want the reader to know everything you know within a sprint rather than a marathon. This would work with an action scene, but just getting to know characters and setting the scene it doesn't. There is however enough here to suggest that with time and injections of emotion that you could have something highly readable.

Excellent. Good dialogue, too. Characters that are easy to identify with.

Hi Karen - I've had these books on my watch list for months now and finally my life slowed down a titch so I could enjoy this one - I love your characters - have since reading the first book - and I KNOW you have a series that will go down in the memories of the readers as best loved books forever. Don't look at the ratings - you deserve stars and editors fighting to land your contract on their books. Hope you are doing well, L

Hi Karen, The outset was excellent, the event one that you could weave background around. And also, because it is a disconcerting dilemma, the very real material about the meaningful friendship, written in a true way for the age group, stands out more. I liked the details such as Greta's mother being so small, Katherine Anne's weight problems and her mother being undemonstrative. Sometimes the discussions seemed a little too controlled from the author's hand. This is real stuff, though, for adolescents, and there's much for identification. Strong narrator voice! Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

A pleasant afternoon read thanks very much. Melxx

This is brilliant, I love the title and the pitch intrigued me. The opening is brilliant, told from the perspective of the girl in question's best friend. You set the scene so well and stir up emotions in such a short space of time. Greta's mother turning up and threatening to completely disrupt her life. I especially liked the bit where you said that Katherine didn't belong in the kitchen but nothing was going to make her leave and leave her best friend. Absolutely brilliant. Shelved immediately. Sandie The Crown of Crysaldor