You take us right into the story on the first line; brilliant! This is well written, tense and believable. Its hard to say so much without actually telling us, but you have succeeded admirably. This is mature writing and an excellent story. Andrea The de Amerley Affair

I have been to Ethiopia several times and studied its history. But, your book brings to life more on this period of iEthiopia's history than any non-fiction account I have read about Italy's invasion of Ethiopia. This is indeed a great accomplishment and in my opinion your book should be highly rated and already published. I love your writing style and I hope you benefit us with more books like this one.

Harvey, I wanted to tell you that I find your synopsis for Lion At Bay very intriguing and my hope and expectation is to read your material very soon. With a limited amount of shelf space and the implementation of the new guidelines, you've no doubt discovered, as I have, that each decision to back a book is more challenging than ever. I do hope your work gets all the attention it deserves. Good luck and best wishes. D. K. WILLIS THE THIEF ON THE CROSS

written well. this is very interesting about a fascinating figure,= on my watchlist... read SEASONS...

An interesting yarn, well constructed with first rate dialogue. I could quibble over some of the detail, including one or two points in the pitch. But I shall not bother. The whole story is too good for minor criticism. ( I do , incidentally, agree with your comments on the way some people are exploiting the Authonomy site. A pity that it is being used in this way.) Best wishes Philip John

This is a captivating historical thriller. Vital message. Pleasingly visual. Crisp dialogue. Vivid characters. Realistic emotional frisction. Riveting pacing. Tension mounts relentlessly. Well thought out, intriguing storyline. Spellbinding writing. A highly enjoyable read. Backed.

Lion at Bay. The writing is as attractive as the cover and title: the strength of the narration ducks and weaves in response to the unraveling of the enviable plot and multi-faceted characters who reveal their depth without clashing with the other components of this polished work. Literary conventions have been maintained to high standards of craftsmanship without compromising contemporary expectations. The recent BBC series on Ethiopia presented by Joanna Lumley should reopen interest in Ethiopia, making Lion at Bay timely, further enhanced by the presence of Roosevelt, his secret agent and the geo-political situation of Ethiopia spanning the Second World War. From ‘Prester John’ to the famine and secession, humanity’s debt to Ethiopa as a repository of tradition, myth and legend has been obscured under layers of received ideas. It is my belief that while enthralling readers, this work will contribute significantly to reducing ignorance on this subject. In the final reading, some typos like “behind attended to” will no doubt ask you for a good dusting – as usual, I suppose, thoughts outracing fingers, the telephone, the doorbell …! Backed with salutations. Azam Gill “Blasphemy!”

Excellent! Top notch and ready to print! Backing! Camille Curse of the Golden Fly

Demanding topic you’ve picked. You’ve got a good narrator’s voice and I enjoyed it (though at time a little lengthy). Your dialogue’s crisp, easy to follow and advances the story. Maybe you could spread out some of the backstory, it would help pick up the pace, get the reader more involved and build up your characters. Just my 0.02 worth. You’ve got my vote. Maybe you could take a look at TO KILL A DEAD MAN. Backing and comments will be appreciated.

Very readable and fascinating content...I do agree about the speech impediment whish seriously detracts from the accomplishment of your dialogue...otherwise backed 100% Stewart

FDR has been written about at length, and I believe you do him justice in your narrative. I also think you do well with his dialog, where he does not allow himself to be rushed into revealing the reason for the meeting. The historical background, however, I think gets in the way of the story. I should preface the comment by saying that this may well be an entirely subjective opinion, due to the fact that I am familiar with events of that era. Nonetheless, I like the premise and your style of writing, and I will read the rest of your story with great interest (I just finished reading the diary of Galeazzo Ciano, and his references to the African adventures of Mussolini are interesting in a self-serving way). A couple of typos: Last para, Prologue, behind should be being. “It’s actually makes sense,” chapter 1, should be “It actually makes sense.” Chapter 2A, millions of Lira, should be Lire. All the best, Pollux

nice opening paragraph, made me want to read on. I'm always leery about prologues for anything but fantasy but this was a good one. I think you made the villain credible in the prologue, he has reason for his hatred, and not necessarily the right target, but he also has his own behaviours to deal with. Nathan comes across credibly too. Backed.

You have balanced the facets of writing with incredible accuracy to produce a believable, detailed and engaging historical fiction. Nathan makes for a fantastic character, and you describe an area of the world with which I am unfamiliar in such detail that I feel as if I'm walking in your protagonist's footsteps. Fabulous, there is nothing more I can say. Not only is this entertaining. It's educational and eye-opening. Backed with pleasure. Abi xxx

This is a good story. I know so little about Africa's history I didn't know Mussolini ever invaded Ethiopia (my bad). So reading this was not only enjoying a good story but was like a history lesson for me. You've obviously done a lot of research to be able to write this and it shows through.You have good characters. Good descriptions. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I like the story a lot as I have had a close relsationship with the Lion of Judah. As a photo journalist I spent ten days with Haile Selassie when he was here on a Royal Visit for the Foreign Office. One of my favourite pics is Selassie with Churchill at No. 10. Funny how ones past suddenley catches up. I am backing the story and hope you will look at mine, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story which I hope you will like. Reagrds JohnJ

Hi Harvey. I have a rule that I only read three chapters of each book that I back or don't back. This is partly because I'm either at work or trying to look after my baby daughter. However, I have just finished your sixth chapter (and my daughter is crying.ha). I found this enthralling and thoroughly engaging. It is beautifully written and I have no nits to pick. Congratulations, I hope you can see that I've thoroughly enjoyed this. Good luck. carl. The Time hUnters.

Can't offer any comment on historical accuracy, but this strikes me as pretty good in all other respects. I'm surprised it's not higher up the lists. I've only read the first two chapters at this time but the writing comes across as snappy, succinct, engaging and entertaining - as far as I'm concerned you have a very strong grasp of the whole Boys' Own Adventure meets period piece thing (which clumsy description is hopefully something close to what you were actually aiming for). The only possible significant criticisms I could give from a first impression would be occasionally your metaphors and such get a little too florid, and when you break up long passages of dialogue it can seem a tad clumsy. There are two places in the first two chapters where you end up repeating '...(so-and-so) said' unneccessarily because of this (once with Nathan, once with FDR). Regardless, a lot of fun. I'll definitely give more of this a read. Backed.

Seriously. Hull's speech impediment has got to go. But Selassie's relationship with his wife Menem is charming. Firmly establishes him as a sympathetic character. Wendy Bertsch

I'm always attracted to good historical fiction, and this is an area I've read little about, so I was intrigued. A lot of significant historical detail is imparted clearly and smoothly, much in believable dialogue. The homey President stuff was well done. it makes the reader comfortable with the time period, and is a realistic depiction of a politician being folksy...often a calculated ploy to disarm potential opposition.to presidential wishes. Nathan is a likable protagonist, and I'm eager to learn more about this conflict which had such an impact on WWII. However, I have to say that Hull's speech impediment is distracting. The Tennessee accent...fine. But a distinction that could be overlooked in verbal speech is intrusive on paper. He starts to 'sound' like Elmer Fudd after a bit...and it doesn't enhance the mood of the moment. Wendy Bertsch (Once More...From The Beginning)

I think this stands with the best prose on this site. I’m sorry to say that I don’t think it’s commercial. I don’t think mainstream society has the attention span for it. And I’m saddened by that. Years ago the Modern Library produced a list of the 100 greatest novels of the 20th century and I perused the list and realized that I had overlooked or had been oblivious to almost half of them. And so I went to the local university (the public library didn’t stock most of the novels) and I read the ones I’d missed. They were stunning achievements. Each novel was exquisite. The majority of my friends are literate, educated, and voracious readers. I recommended some of the obscure books - and no one was interested. “Dance To The Music of Time” is an astonishing achievement. Lawrence Durell’s "Alexandria Quartet" should not be missed. Go look at the NYT bestsellers list. It’s heartbreaking. I think you’ve written something amazing and praiseworthy. I hope you find an audience. You’ve earned one. You’ve added me. I’ll sit and listen to your stories. Good luck. “Mark R. Trost” “Post Marked.”

This is powerful writing that takes me on a journey back to 1936 and the events of that time. Your writing is rich with detail, but not hindered by them. This flows well, with plenty of intrigue to keep me reading. It's also brings up events not known to me previously in regard to Facism and Ethiopia. With writing this good, I honestly don't know why this novel is not sitting on the Top 5 at this time. It deserves the number one spot. Hopefully other authors and readers will read my comments and realize this. Patricia

Lion At Bay Harvey Ardman Harvey, I backed this some weeks ago based on your interesting storyline gathered from your pitches. It has been on my WL for a while and I only had time today to read some of it. I haven't seen that many books here on Authonomy with an African setting and this was one of the things which appealed to me. The short pitch in particular I liked - "Africa, 1935. Mussolini's army attacks the barefoot Ethiopians. Can Emperor Haile Selassie thwart Il Duce? Can FDR's agent, David Nathan, save the African leader?" The reference to Haile Selassie to me was quite meaningful because in my part of the world in the Caribbean the Rastafarians worship him as God, starting as you might know several years ago with the Jamaicans when he visited that country and was surprised to find people thinking of him as a God, going so far as to worship him, so naturally the historical details to your story piqued my curiosity, and also because I wanted to know more about the Emperor himself, and of course what happens following Mussolini's attack. After reading your first chapter upload here I thought you had skillfully hooked the reader to keep turning the pages. I found this exciting, well written, good dialogue, with believable characters. From the poiltical and historical viewpoint, I think your storyline provides much food for thought - to me it's not only good fiction, but an education in itself. I look forward to reading more and truly wish that Authonomy was designed in a way which enabled one to read more books at length. I hope this is published so that one can comfortably read it without having to squint at an electronic screen, which does little justice to books like yours. I feel this will be picked up - it has to be. Best wishes, Zan

Hello harveya, I really like this. Nothing ever changes - self important pushy people are still around. Your descriptive prose is perfect. Good first chapter with a fantastic hook at the end. The reader is forced to go on. The history behind the difficult years before WWII was complicated in the extreme and your writing brings it to life. This has all the ingredients for an exciting, enticing read with strong characters and dialogue. One little niggle however: I did find Hull's dialogue a little tiresome - all the 'w's instead of 'r's, but what is one little niggle in such well written prose. Would make a fantastic TV drama or film. Well done and SHELVED with great pleasure. Phyllis A Passing Storm

This is an amazing book about something of which I had only the most passing knowledge. Italian ambitions are part of any history of the 1930s, all the names are so familiar I thought I knew what happened, but its not until I read this that I realise the depth of me ignorance. You have me hooked, I've read the first five chapters and I've cherry picked others, but now I must go and do some background reading. This is a fantastic book, obviously well researched and highly readable and I know that I will get even more out of it when I have done a tiny bit of the research you've done. I very much admire the way you captured the real people in this. The only one whose normal voice I know is FDR, but I could hear him speaking in your dialogue, but the tone of the others seemed perfect for their newsreel images. Great book. Backed

Harvey, your prologue and first chapter read well. One thing I noticed is that you switched POVs between the immigrant and Nathan in the prologue This works fine with me but might not work for someone who is a stickler for the POV rules. Then again, there are no hard and fast rules in writing. Happy to back this book. Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Great story telling. But shouldn't the immigrant have a name. Dialogue? Backed

LION AT BAY: Harvey, This is historical fiction at its thriller best. Not my normal genre but the prologue mesmerised me into reading more. The writing is so immediate, so close to something happening right next to you that you can't escape being part of it. Sucked in so that you hold your breath and can't wait for the next adrenaline rush. A bit of a switch of P.O.V. at the beginning of Chapter 1. But apart from that I found the writing to be just right for the genre, immediate and crisp and flowing. Backed, with my best wishes for its success. Sheila (Pinpoint)

Effective scene setting: the park, the crowds, the immigrant and his hunger, David Nathan and who he is. Then the arrival of the president-elect and a mounting tension as we realise what is about to happen. Nathan makes sure it doesn't and we share his and FDR's relief. On the train we get lots more pointers to the mood and concerns of that period in American history, plus further insights into Nathan's character. In the oval office, you exemplify description with the vivid account of the furnishings ... this is exactly the type of situation that demands such detail. The president's mother provides one of the moments of humour that vary the pace. Then, 'We want you to go to Abyssinia...' could have knocked me over with a feather too. Your writing is supremely professional, Harvey, and has some memorable phrases: 'Huckleberry Fin in uniform', 'He could have been a mortician', 'Nathan felt harpooned'. The research / historical knowledge strike me as extremely detailed and accurate, and I suspect Roosevelt would not object to your portrayal of him. David Nathan is more of an enigma, a quiet but dangerous man who is about to be stretched to his limits by the job handed him. Anyone with this book in their hands would be obliged to keep reading, as would I while continue to try in vain to distinguish fact from fiction ... backed. (Possible nits: '"Pa" Watson greeted Nathan cordially' the word Pa baffles me here. 'threw back his head ... threw up his hands'. '"Plus travel," Hull said' twavel, and then thwee, and a bit later he says Mr. President.)

Very nice writing and a fascinating melange of fiction and fact. As a historian, photographer and archivist, I have a number of questions, comments and minor corrections for you. Please email me directly and I'll be glad to share the typos with you that way. I'm curious where you got the idea that Foreign Minister Herouy didn't want Emperor Haile Selassie I to go to Europe to ask for help from Britain and the League of Nations. You say the vote of the advisory council was 21-3 in favor of going to Europe, so was Herouy one of the three? I've read a lot about the May 2-May 5th, 1936 period in Addis Ababa (and even had one of the rare and valuable silver medals awarded to the 150 Indian Sikh soldiers who defended the British Legation and 1700 other foreigners who took refuge there), and this is the first time I've read that Gallas invaded Addis. You mention that all of the legations were safe, but the fact is that many from other legations took refuge with the British and even then, some were injured. May I assume that the bombing of the Ethiopian Embassy at 17 Princess Gate, London was purely fiction? Herouy said to Selassie while in England: "Retire here in peace?" I need to know more about that or if that's writer's prerogative. Heroy's grandson is a good friend of mine, and I'd like to know of any reference sources on him that I don't already have or know about. Did Colson attend Geneva with the Emperor? Any good references to mention for this chapter in their lives? I've always wondered if this American adviser Colson was related to Nixon's adviser Colson. Do you know? I can't imagine anyone (including Herouy) saying "You can't say that" to the Emperor. My favorite line is "A half hour later, they were standing in the dark, heavily draped lobby of the Carlton Park Hotel, checking in, to the disbelief, if not the horror of (here's my favorite part) a dozen overfed, cigar smoking European bankers, each of them a different artist's caricature of Alfred Hitchcock." Well done. Jah bless.

Very nice writing and a fascinating melange of fiction and fact. As a historian, photographer and archivist, I have a number of questions, comments and minor corrections for you. Please email me directly and I'll be glad to share the typos with you that way. I'm curious where you got the idea that Foreign Minister Herouy didn't want Emperor Haile Selassie I to go to Europe to ask for help from Britain and the League of Nations. You say the vote of the advisory council was 21-3 in favor of going to Europe, so was Herouy one of the three? I've read a lot about the May 2-May 5th, 1936 period in Addis Ababa (and even had one of the rare and valuable silver medals awarded to the 150 Indian Sikh soldiers who defended the British Legation and 1700 other foreigners who took refuge there), and this is the first time I've read that Gallas invaded Addis. You mention that all of the legations were safe, but the fact is that many from other legations took refuge with the British and even then, some were injured. May I assume that the bombing of the Ethiopian Embassy at 17 Princess Gate, London was purely fiction? Herouy said to Selassie while in England: "Retire here in peace?" I need to know more about that or if that's writer's prerogative. Heroy's grandson is a good friend of mine, and I'd like to know of any reference sources on him that I don't already have or know about. Did Colson attend Geneva with the Emperor? Any good references to mention for this chapter in their lives? I've always wondered if this American adviser Colson was related to Nixon's adviser Colson. Do you know? I can't imagine anyone (including Herouy) saying "You can't say that" to the Emperor. My favorite line is "A half hour later, they were standing in the dark, heavily draped lobby of the Carlton Park Hotel, checking in, to the disbelief, if not the horror of (here's my favorite part) a dozen overfed, cigar smoking European bankers, each of them a different artist's caricature of Alfred Hitchcock." Well done. Jah bless.

Lion at Bay is a fascinating story set in a turbulent but little known period of Ethiopian history. Your pitch is first class and drew me in. Your opening chapters live up to the promise - you have a clean and economical writing style that I enjoyed, which is something that I aspire to but for me needs lots of editing to weed out surplus words - if you've hit it first time, you've got exceptional talent! The prologue is gripping, your characters are vivid and I can easily buy into your story of trying to rescue Haile Selassi - this seems well researched and hits the right buttons for your chosen genres. I'll be happy to back this.

I read several chapters of your book because I've always found this period in history fascinating (from a sociological point of view). Overall the writing is accomplished, and this was a polished. The dialogue was clear and moved things forward - take your chapter 13 (uploaded as chapter 15) for example. You have them in conversation (rather than telling me too much), and the lines of dialogue are well labled with tone (e.g. he said it with certainty, but even he didn't konw exactly what he felt) with touches of body language (e.g. she put on a pout) that paint a complete picture for the reader. Nice work.

There is much to like here; your research is impeccable and I love the narrative style. And it's a very good premise. However, I did find your prologue confusing with jumping between the two points of view. Sometimes that works but to me is was confusing. It totally slowed me down for awhile as I couldn't figure out how the NYPD guy would be so poor. Didn't realize you were now in the POV of the immigrant. Maybe you could do scenes breaks although not sure how. Nevertheless, I thought your writing was excellent and this has been on my shelf over my vacation period away. Are you interested in my book? I've dropped down quite a lot because of being out-of-town for two weeks. Need help. Betty K "Destiny's Weave"

Hi Harvey, You make history into compelling story material, finding the scenes and conjuring the conversation. Nathan's assignment, while it seemed incredible to him, was well portrayed as being a natural consequence of his saving FDR from the assassin. The conversation at lunch showed the way a President might feel out a personality and prepare him for his opinions and command. I really enjoyed the scenes with Haile and the Empress and it was so well interwoven with his hearing the foul news. This historical account can gather you many readers! A pleasure to shelve. Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Harvey, Lion At Bay - engaging, well paced, informative and enlightening. Much enjoyed the read. Best success, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Dear Harvey Ardman, Thank you for sharing your story with us. You have an amazing premise; you’ve found a slice of history where I want the underdogs to win against impossible odds. Comparing Selassie warriors to King Arthur’s knights is a great way to depict their noble character and prowess within their limited technology. I can see how this would be important because victory against Africans would give credence to Hitler’s theories of white supremacy. I skipped to chapter five to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by a ride in a blimp, which I guess is like riding in a boat in terms of peacefulness but in the air. Next he has to ride in a real ship, a rust bucket. You do an excellent job thwarting Nathan’s desires and creating tension by placing doubt on the seaworthiness of the ship, or that it’ll be too slow. Ah, I see there’s even more tension because he fears he may be discovered and perhaps assassinated. Love the phrase “stability of a #2 pencil”. An extra quotation mark slipped in before “Perhaps a passenger ship”. I am rooting for Nathan to build a relationship with Guinivieve, but you’re right on not making it easy for him. Gretel sounds like an interesting character, and I hope she won’t assassinate him. Bravo! Backed. Best wishes, Alan Marling

[QUOTE] BACKED I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work. Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters. So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk. There you are. BACKED Hope you reciprocate. [ENDQUOTE] Now that is the most sensible comment I've had on Authonomy and one with which I fully agree. As it happens, my book is pretty damn good and it deserves backing, but it's my judgment about it that really counts. I read the other comments, most of which are of the copy editing variety, and I say "oops, missed that," or "I've now heard your opinion," or "you didn't understand what I was doing, did you," and I realize that no author can write otherwise than with his or her own instincts. Writing according to somebody else's instincts is a waste of time, not to mention impossible. When I comment on a book, I leave the criticism for a message, not the comment section. And if I don't like something, I won't comment, back or even read--which includes very much that appears here. The main reason that there is so much unworthy stuff is that the people who've written it are poor judges of their own work. This is a particularly devastating flaw for a writer, who, after all, must be a superb judge of the effect on the reader of each of his words. Anyhow, your honesty and insight gets my vote and your book gets my backing. I'll even take a look at it. Best, Harvey Ardman

BACKED I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work. Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters. So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk. There you are. BACKED Hope you reciprocate.

Hi Harvey, Had a few moments to spare and I played with chapter five of your prologue. Here is what I came up with. I was a bit confused here about who he is (He was nobody now -----) are you referring to the high school lad or the immigrant? Also I’m told any number up to 999 should be spelled out. Great Man - capitalized or italicized, or both? I’m not sure. Maybe a way out would be - All in all, about one hundred and fifty had assembled to glimpse the Great Man, the last to arrive was the grim-faced immigrant. He slipped unobtrusively into the third row, tucked in behind two fat ladies, their heads jammed close together like fishwives reveling in the latest bit of gossip. From here he had a clear view of the stage and its hastily assembled podium. He was a nobody now, but in a few moments the world would know his name. Ray

Harvey, Wow, this is nice. I'll start with a few nits that you can probably avoid: Might take a look at the overuse of the word "here" in those first couple of paragraphs. and slightly wish there were some dialog to add variation/texture to this opening chapter. Oh and I see you use a Prologue...hope I didn't offend with my response to you. I do think your prologue is slightly long and although broken into multiple smaller paragraphs it felt a bit dense. Do you need the in red explanation of where the quote is from? Takes me out of the story a bit...especially as I don't know who he is. Smedley Bulter Business...was this the guy who shot at the Pres in the Prologue? I'm a bit lost here as to the timeframe. I'm thinking this is taking place after he saved FDR in the prologue but...it could be that that happened after he met FDR for visit and was asked to go to Miami to watch out for him. "alright but it will take me at least week" = I think you need an "a" in that sentence? Charming conversation = FDR and his mother. I hate to say it but you may be hitting us over the head a bit much with all the time period references. I do respect the amount of research that must've went into it to be able to responsibly use them. I think it a great fun premise to have a "commoner" working as one of the President's men. Get knocking on those editors doors with this, Harvey. Best of luck! -=Bradley

Harvey, the history is extremely interesting and lends itself to fiction. You've certainly done it proud. It seemed to me well-informed, though I know nothing about it, but you convinced me you do,which is the important thing.There's not a single dull sentence in the chapters I read. On the contrary, it's a gripping book.No need to mention character, dialogue etc.- you're such a good writer,we'll take them as read. Shelved. Lynn

Hello Harvey, I'm a sucker for historical fiction; espescially when its written with authority and style. This engaged from the start and set the hooks often and well. Shelved. Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

In chapter one you change POV from Nathan to the conductor and back to Nathan quite quickly. I have been advised to not to do this. The background to Nathan and his lunch with the President where he is given his assignment are well constructed with good description. I like the narratives and especially the lisp. Jumping straight to Ethiopia in the next chapter keeps the story moving at a good pace. This is an interesting plot and is moves at a good pace. I am happy to back you book. Tony Life Bringer

Hi Harvey. I found this professionally written, polished work and an enjoyable read. The opener with Nathan thwarting the assassin of FDR establishes the groundwork. Then in chapter two Nathan is given an opportunity to rescue Selassie. The interaction between FDR and Nathan was dynamic and realistic. I could see FDR sitting there wearing his green tie and eating that trout. I had the feeling that the oval office was a very busy place and FDR a very busy man. I liked the way the casual conversation interwined with the serious discussion about the mission. Hull and his speech patterns provided some spice to the scene. You've visualized this scene well and the pacing was perfect. This is an excellent work, one which I would certainly purchase. Good luck. Shelved. Randy Buttermilk Moon

One of the strange pleasures of authonomy, for me, is being out of my genre - pretty much all the time. So here I sit before an historical thriller - and I may not be well enough versed in either the Italo-Abyssinian war or the conventions of the thriller to make really astute comments. What I can say, as a tourist in your genre, is that your book looks like a fine place to spend some quality time! Your writing is strong, inobtrusive, speaks honestly, allows your characters - and your readers - to see and feel. A clean, well-lighted place. Your characterization of Selassie (and his marriage) has both power and charm; and this lends David's mission great urgency on a human (as well as historical) level. I do have a couple of questions about PoV in chapter one, and see that JD Revene has beaten me to this. I found the cut from David to the shooter slightly jarring; I also see it as perhaps necessary. How can you finesse the segue? A similar thing happens (on a much smaller scale) in chapter two - the conductor on the train. Were it not for the more extended PoV shift in ch 1, I might not have noticed it - but again I felt manually 'shifted', if only slightly. I agree with JD on the issue of David's clear focus on the immigrant - his ability to fully size up an objective in the blink of an eye - while 'barely noticing' him. What happened on a cognitive level: something alerted David that this man was important; his seeming ubiquity as a type led David to discount him. So -something seemed fishy: what was it? That said - fine work! Shelved, Andrea Levin (Last Days of the Transitional Objects Institute)

Hi Harvey, First thank you for your backing my book. I truly appreciate it. Now onto your novel. Fifth paragraph. ------ fat lady in a blue flowered dress and a bespectacled high school boy who held a canvas book bag on his lap. I was a bit confused here about who he is (He was nobody now -----) the high school lad or the immigrant? Maybe a way out would be - He took a seat to the rear of two fat ladies, one in a flowered dress. Unless the HS Lad and the canvas book bag is to play a part later I would drop him. Paragraph six ----- The immigrant is complaining about “the old Jew charging $8 for a pistol (a fair price) then drops $200 at the track with seemly no problem. I would lessen the amount loss at the track to $15-20 and what’s left in his pocket to three, maybe four dollars. A bit more realistic in my view. Paragraph seven ---- since he was six years old, when his father had forced him to leave school and go to work. I know times were tough but I don’t think his father took him out of school at age six (first grade) and put him to work. You might want to reword that. I assume he was ill at 6 and it only got worse later when he quit school (maybe at 15 or so). Thanks again, Ray

I almost read this when it first appeared since I've been interested about the charisma of Haile Selassie, but for some reason got distracted. David Nathan is rather unlikely hero, but that is what helps make your book very appealing. Not only do you have Selassie, but a short hero, a President obsessed with small talk, a Secretary of State with a twang, and great descriptive powers. In short, you have everything necessary for an exciting read. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that your blending of historical elements into your realistic dialogue sets the time frame and carries the story along very well. I will be back to read more when I get a little time.

Harvey, I'm returning your read of Appetites. Thank you again for your support of my work. Starting with the pitch. This is good, with the key elements all present. I have a couple of observations you might like to take into acount: --the line with FDR's dialogue I would give its own paragraph, breaking up a long paragraph and gives the words import. --then the sentence following, for me a lot of this is the sort of value judgement I'd leave to the reader, perhaps you can focus it on the question of whether or not David will succeed. Into the work proper. The prologue is a good scene, however, I had a few thoughts you might consider: --in the opening paragraph David provides a lot of detail of someone he's barely notices . . . I think you might need some reason for David to take notice of him. --the switch of PoV, from David to the nameless assassin, is effective in playing out the drama and extending the time, but also gives the game away and deprives us of insight to David. --finally, we're told that the shooter is in the third row, some 25 feet from the bandstand; that's a hell of a leap . . . Into chapter one, and a brief observation passage from the conductor's PoV makes it's apparent that you're using an omniscient PoV. By the way, you have a note in red-text in this chapter, that I suspect was a reminder to yourself that you never got round to acting on . . . Reading on I'm finding little to comment on, but there is reference to 'a plot against the US Government by a retired general' that is obscure to me. (Unless it relates to the assassination.) Otherwise this is already a cracking thriller. Not the Ludlum type, with a gun fight on every page, more in the style of say Robert Harris where historical fiction is intelligently mixed with thriller conventions. With chapter three the opening exposition feels, to me a little forced, but once news arrives the askari have entered Ethiopa the pace picks up. This is one of those works that educates at the same time it entertains. Your Haile Selassie is an engaging character, and that's obviously key to this work. Happy to give this a spin on my shelf.

Don't need to read much to see we are in the hands of a professional. I have no doubt you will write further novels, as good as, and better than, this masterpiece. Fantastic. Shelved Frank

Excellent historical fiction. For me this is one of those semi-modern times that is largely slipping away from the national consciousness and needs continual revival by any and all means. Dialogue and action carry the story along nicely, without the excessive exposition that is a sure mark of the person who has not yet made the leap from writing essays and memos to fiction. Backed with pleasure. Bill

This is really accomplished. I was drawn straight in from the first chapter. The second dealing with Nathan's interview with the president was extremely well done. There are a lot of complicated political matters in that dialogue but not once did I feel confused, drowning in information or like I was being given a lecture. You handled this material brillantly and what a good plot. Nathan must rescue Haile Salaisse. I expected to be taken straight back to Nathan but you threw me a left hook and took me to the Emperor's Palace in Abyssinia. I don't know what else I can offer apart from a well done. This has the makings of an enthralling read. Backed!

This is really accomplished. I was drawn straight in from the first chapter. The second dealing with Nathan's interview with the president was extremely well done. There are a lot of complicated political matters in that dialogue but not once did I feel confused, drowning in information or like I was being given a lecture. You handled this material brillantly and what a good plot. Nathan must rescue Haile Salaisse. I expected to be taken straight back to Nathan but you threw me a left hook and took me to the Emperor's Palace in Abyssinia. I don't know what else I can offer apart from a well done. This has the makings of an enthralling read. Backed!

Hi Harvey, Must admit I'm not fond of prologues. They are a cheap way to introduce the flavour of a book. In yours, it is more of a first chapter so maybe the real book starts there. I didn't like the head hopping in the prologue, starting with your MC's feelings and thoughts then next those of the would-be assassin. Just my view that's all. Chapter one does the perfect set-up job and introduces the MC and the plot with great skill. The narrative and descriptive prose are nicely balanced and the MC is well characterised through a fluent and well-crafted dialogue. This is excellent, professional writing. Backed without hesitation. Good luck with this one, not that you'll need it! 8/10

Hi Harvey A strong beginning to what promises to be a great story set in a comparitively unknown period. More than happy to Shelve this for a period! anthony ('Houses of Sand'|)

Well done! I like historical novels and this fits the mold quite nicely. Good, spare writing as well. Some comments... In the prologue, you have POV shifts between Nathan and the would-be assassin. This could work, however, if you add spaces between what Nathan sees and what the assassin is thinking. Also, the assassin moves to New Jersey but does not want to go to DC to kill Hoover because it's cold -- but it gets cold in NJ, too, right? Minor quibble, that one. In Chapter 1, Nathan is told he can have lunch with the President "any time between 12 and 12:30." I would think that with FDR's busy schedule, he's want him there at a certain time. Also, I found Hull's speech impediment distracting; all I could think was Elmer Fudd. I know you want it in there for a reason, but if you simply describe it, as you did, before he speaks, that would suffice as well. Anyway, this is exceedingly good writing and a terrific story. Thank you for the opportunity and I hope this book goes far!

First off, fabulous subject matter. Clean meticulous writing and a captivating story. I liked the introduction of the letters which gave the story a new depth of personal pathos after the detached polished tone of the third person narrative. This a book one senses that needs to be read in its entirety to be fully appreciated as it’s clearly predominantly plot driven and in it’s in the plot that its cleverness and excitement are stored.

This is set in a time and place that I don't know a heck of a lot about. I was pleased when I started reading to find that it was accessible, even for me, with a fluid plot and just enough information to let me in and not enough to make me feel overwhelmed. The way you weave this story together is impressive. Without a doubt it must have taken a lot of maping and figuring out. There is a lot more to this than standard novels. Though it is technically fiction, it takes place in a a real era with real events. It impresses me when people write Historical Fiction for they have to research like mad. It is evident this book is no exception. A different read for me but an informative piece and a highly entertainingn one. I like David Nathan, I feel he is a strong character, one that will go far. I was pleased to read Roosevelt, he is actually an intersting person that I read a minibiography on. THis is in depth and a strong piece. Backed T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Very enjoyable read, full of realism and interesting characters. I even liked that little detail of FDR mouthing Thank You at the end. Subtle, yet powerful. I didn't read too far, but I did notice you have a typo in the paragraph about the politician who was being tended - I think you mean "behind" but used a different word - you'll know when you see it. Anyway ... easy to back. Great book. - Genevieve Under the Same Sky p.s. I'd love to know what you think of my book sometime

An exciting plot, with an unusual setting. You plunge straight into the action with your first scene, where David rescues President Roosevelt from an assassin. Your style is perfect for these action scenes, brisk and quick moving. David makes a good hero, brave and smart. When he manages to get hold of the taxi so quickly, he demonstrates again that he is a determined man, likely to succeed in whatever he sets out to do. The colourful background to the planned rescue of Haile Selassie is well drawn, with references to De Maggio and Babe Ruth placing us in the Thirties, and a taxi ride costing fifty cents. You do this well. The plot leads us to expect a very enjoyable and exciting book, and the skill of your writing tells us you'll be able to carry it off easily. Backed. Gerry McCullough, Belfast Girls.

A terrific read, I can see this a series of books. Very well written prose. Happy to back it. Melxx When you have the time would love to hear your thoughts on Impeding Justice.

Lion At Bay: Harvey, as the night is late, I’ve only just read the Prologue, and was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked, not just your writing, but this little bit of US history. Through your well-written prose, you brought me up close to where Zangara sat (I Googled him…). I must admit, though, I did feel a little for him, with the childhood he apparently had, but of course, that's no excuse for murder. I’m so not qualified to critique this very fine historical thriller. However, I do have a suggestion or two if you’d like them but I’ll message them to you if that’s okay. I’m going to back this soon, then hit the sack. All the very best. I see this going far. Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Tacitus suggested that I take a look at your book given that we are both history students of a kind, boy am I glad for the recomendation. I knew of Selassie of course, but only bits and pieces. You my friend have immortalised the man so much so that I'm going to research him further, what a hero! Fantastic writing, edge of the seat stuff and will convert to the silver screen in the same way the 'King of Scotland' did. Superb writing, I cannot praise this book enough. Backed with pleasure and thanks to Tacitus for the heads up! Bob (Auctoratus)

Fascinating idea for a story. The Italian conquest if Abyssinia is one of those areas of history that most people know happened, but very few people know any real details of. Very well written too. The characters really come to life, especialy Haile Selassie himself, whose optimism and humanity shines through here. Chapter 4 (your 2b) is an excellent and tragic account of the Ethiopians' desperate resistance against vastly technologically superior forces. Although I am a historian, I had very little knowledge of the events you describe here, so I was fascinated and I would love to read some more of this when I've got the time. Just one small niggle - Cordell Hull's inability to pronounce the letter r. Mention it for sure, but I found the way you kept spelling it whenever he spoke to be a bit distracting. It was as if you were trying to inject an unnecessary touch of humour where humour did not fit and was not needed. However, backed with great pleasure, Bob Garrod (Domesday)

Progressing, and still very much enjoying this.

"Comfort" is what I feel when I read a book that's really clicking with me. Comfort in knowing I'm interested in the story, comfort with the author's style and execution, and comfort with the genre - in this case, historical fiction. I would read this book in its entirety, purchase it, and, if it were a movie, I'd definitely watch it. Shelved.

I loved the historical reconstruction through well-chosen period details in the prologue and first chapter. Some sugestions: I found the introductory small talk at the White Hose a bit long--we could have gotten a good glimpse of this aspect of FDR's personality with fewer words. Replacing Rs with Ws in the Secretary's speech was funny on the first occasion. Using it throughout the dialogue begins to get irritating. A common (and very effective) practice would be to show the accent only once, the first time the person speaks. You may wish to check how I handled the German accent of one of my characters in my book, The Crystal Butterfly Club, at the very beginning of the Chapter 1. Well worth backing! All the best A.P. Constantin

I'm interested in this. Backed.

Lion at Bay mixes true history with fiction, with well-penned thriller aspects included, in a unique and interesting fashion, with very high-quality prose. A remarkable book, the reader will be pulled into Lion at Bay from its opening chapter. Backed and Today's Pick I Like for 1/4/10: http://newandgoodreading.blogspot.com/2010/01/todays-pick-i-like-1410.html L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Dear Harvey Carrying neither tin cup nor begging letter, I stand at your door merely to compliment you on the quality of your work. Lion At Bay is a work which one can take pride in – Oh dear, what a terrible pun! Backed without hesitation. All the best, Steve.

Clean ... gripping... authoritative. Instantly backable.

Harvey A brilliant read,,,,,system kicked me out and wouldn't let me back to your page......Flawless, literary champagne.... Shelved with pleasure and envy.......

I absolutely love the topic of this book. i have always felt a strong pull and interest in the plight of Haile Selassie and the Ethiopians in the face of the Italian hordes. This writing is doing the period justice as its so well delivered, the setting authentically drawn, the characters fascinating, the thriller given a wonderful background. Sincerely glad to back this book, I'd buy it happily. Good luck with it Chris (inside Out)

Very good so far from the first 3 chapters, I shall come back and read it more as I get the time. Jack

Harvey, I backed this book already on the strength of the pitches and the opening two chapters. I've now read eight chapters and would have read more but for time constraints. This is a remarkable book, I'd buy this book. You understand the specific demands of a thriller, your research is prodigious and this is a remarkable story very well told. I loved the settings and the opportunity to experience your version of life in this tumultuous era. Backed with admiration. This will do very well here. Jared.

Harvey, I backed this book already on the strength of the pitches and the opening two chapters. I've now read eight chapters and would have read more but for time constraints. This is a remarkable book, I'd buy this book. You understand the specific demands of a thriller, your research is prodigious and this is a remarkable story very well told. I loved the settings and the opportunity to experience your version of life in this tumultuous era. Backed with admiration. This will do very well here. Jared.

[QUOTE] I was drawn to this by the pitch as it's a topic that interested me. But then I started reading and felt I was in the hands of a master. I looked back at your profile - perhaps I should have started there. This is very, very good. So far, I've dipped in and out of various chapters but will get back to read the whole one day though, having read chapter 20, I won't have too many surprises. This is superbly and tensely written. Masterful. Backed with enthusiasm and expecting to see you race up the charts here ! John / Tacitus 'Where Truth Lies' [ENDQUOTE] Thanks, Tacitus. Started at the end, eh? Well, one man's end is another's beginning. I appreciate your kind and generous comments and you can be sure I'll take a look at Where Truth Lies, which is quite an intriguing title.

[QUOTE] Excellent plot. Terrific pitch. Sharp dialogue. Backed with pleasure! Barbara Silkstone The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters [ENDQUOTE] Thanks Barbara. From your mouth to an editor's ear, I hope. I'll be looking at the Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland shortly. Great title--and it sounds like a great idea.

[QUOTE] Gripping - masterful writing, and a fascinating story in a fascinating setting! It's a real pleasure to read this. All best wishes, AlleJo [ENDQUOTE] Thanks, AlleJo. I read your comment to my wife, who, I am pleased to say, looked at me with new respect.

[QUOTE] The pitch lured me in...I'm so very delighted it did. This is a powerful--fast paced--and highly visual reading experience. I want to read all of it. I have BACKED this with great pleasure. If gut instinct is anything to go by...this is heading for the editors desk....FAST. Wonderful writing. BRAVO. Suzannah Burke Dudes Down Under [ENDQUOTE] Thanks for the generous comments, Suzannah. I'm going to take a look at Dudes Down Under very shortly. I have a feeling we're on the same wavelength.

[QUOTE] The pitch lured me in...I'm so very delighted it did. This is a powerful--fast paced--and highly visual reading experience. I want to read all of it. I have BACKED this with great pleasure. If gut instinct is anything to go by...this is heading for the editors desk....FAST. Wonderful writing. BRAVO. Suzannah Burke Dudes Down Under [ENDQUOTE] Thanks for the generous comments, Suzannah. I'm going to take a look at Dudes Down Under very shortly. I have a feeling we're on the same wavelength.

I was drawn to this by the pitch as it's a topic that interested me. But then I started reading and felt I was in the hands of a master. I looked back at your profile - perhaps I should have started there. This is very, very good. So far, I've dipped in and out of various chapters but will get back to read the whole one day though, having read chapter 20, I won't have too many surprises. This is superbly and tensely written. Masterful. Backed with enthusiasm and expecting to see you race up the charts here ! John / Tacitus 'Where Truth Lies'

[QUOTE] Sheepers! This was a slice of history of which I was unaware, which you handily remedied in a most entertaining, enlightening way! Who knew how fascinating, and iconoclastic figure, this Selassie was?? As for the rest of the characters - improbable, unlikely, dazzling. . .indeed! I hope this David Nathan fellow is the basis for a whole gut load of books to follow. . .he's perfect for the part. I smell a sequel. . .many sequels, by the 'look' of your profile! BACKED. I will comment again when I finish the book. [ENDQUOTE] Thanks T. MacKenzie. You're right about the series notion...I have a whole bunch of David Nathan stories just waiting to be written. I am honored by your compliments.

[QUOTE] A page turner. Tight, fast, and commanding. Really enjoying this. Backed with enthusiasm. [ENDQUOTE] Thanks Paige. That kind of comment really does an author good.

[QUOTE] Sheer entertainment, just the ticket for a dull afternoon. Its clear you know what you are doing so I have little to offer by way of criticism of style etc. Thanks for sharing this, I've put it on my 'look out for in the shops' list. Jim D Serpent's Blood [ENDQUOTE] Thanks Jim D...I'll be looking at Serpent's Blood shortly. Great title, by the way.

[QUOTE] This is great stuff. One of the best I have seen here. I have no doubt it will be published. A couple of nits: in his 50s wearing > in his 50s, wearing When he get > when he gets Cordall Hull spoke like Bugs Bunny? Amazing. [ENDQUOTE] Thanks for the kind words. And yes, Hull did speak like a cartoon character--but it was Elmer Fudd, not Bugs. I had much fun with that. You can be sure I'll look at your entries as well, and soon. Thanks again.

Sheer entertainment, just the ticket for a dull afternoon. Its clear you know what you are doing so I have little to offer by way of criticism of style etc. Thanks for sharing this, I've put it on my 'look out for in the shops' list. Jim D Serpent's Blood

A page turner. Tight, fast, and commanding. Really enjoying this. Backed with enthusiasm.

Sheepers! This was a slice of history of which I was unaware, which you handily remedied in a most entertaining, enlightening way! Who knew how fascinating, and iconoclastic figure, this Selassie was?? As for the rest of the characters - improbable, unlikely, dazzling. . .indeed! I hope this David Nathan fellow is the basis for a whole gut load of books to follow. . .he's perfect for the part. I smell a sequel. . .many sequels, by the 'look' of your profile! BACKED. I will comment again when I finish the book.

Sheepers! This was a slice of history of which I was unaware, which you handily remedied in a most entertaining, enlightening way! Who knew how fascinating, and iconoclastic figure, this Selassie was?? As for the rest of the characters - improbable, unlikely, dazzling. . .indeed! I hope this David Nathan fellow is the basis for a whole gut load of books to follow. . .he's perfect for the part. I smell a sequel. . .many sequels, by the 'look' of your profile! BACKED. I will comment again when I finish the book.

This is great stuff. One of the best I have seen here. I have no doubt it will be published. A couple of nits: in his 50s wearing > in his 50s, wearing When he get > when he gets Cordall Hull spoke like Bugs Bunny? Amazing.

The pitch lured me in...I'm so very delighted it did. This is a powerful--fast paced--and highly visual reading experience. I want to read all of it. I have BACKED this with great pleasure. If gut instinct is anything to go by...this is heading for the editors desk....FAST. Wonderful writing. BRAVO. Suzannah Burke Dudes Down Under

Gripping - masterful writing, and a fascinating story in a fascinating setting! It's a real pleasure to read this. All best wishes, AlleJo

Excellent plot. Terrific pitch. Sharp dialogue. Backed with pleasure! Barbara Silkstone The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters

Harvey, After reading your profile and your pitches, I expected I would like your chapters but I was wrong. I LOVED them. Lion At Bay is a top shelf novel in my humble opinion. Backed with pleasure. Rodney