You have some good characterisation here and a number of conflicts for each to show his/her nature. There are many times, however, when you write what the characters are thinking and feeling without putting that information in the characters' heads. I wonder if you can tweak through to make such changes. It would add power to the whole novel. You haven't made the mistake of making characters too shallow or one-dimensional, so there' lots of potential interest for the reader. Well done. LARA A RELATIVE INVASION

Chasing the Wind by Gill Wyatt. I read this some time back...brilliant read! This is a book that offers a very good read. It has all the ingredients that are required for it to move off the book shop shelves very quickly. A family upheaval with the father, son, relationship. A deep resentment between the two for each other. At the same time there is a longing in both of them to bridge the gulf that lies between. You have great characters in Colin Baron, and son Bobby. Your descriptive scenes and every day dialogue between the pair, make for compelling reading. Pleased to Star Rate your book ’Chasing the Wind’ very high. Well done, Gill. Kind regards, Neville The Secrets of the Forest – Cosmos 501.

Your book is on my WL now and will give my comments after finishing the read.

CHASING THE WIND I opened this story because my mother always says writing is like chasing the wind; pursuing something hard to catch. I related to Bobby from the beginning because of that: he’s chasing a dream too: love of music and approval from a bullying father. You have an entertaining writing style which makes this easy to read. Made me like it a lot. I’m adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Dear Gil Thank you for inviting me to take a look at "Chasing the Wind". I have read the first three and a half chapters. You are a good story teller, with an interesting plot line, which would do better with a bit of editing, here and there. Your descriptive passages, especially at the beginning, occasionally stumble into self conscious repetition. Editing down, and adding more character definition, for example, of Jodie, would help to lift the story and illuminate which parts of the plot you might wish to focus on (the conflict scenes are well handled) and which you might prefer to use for background (the club scene works less well). Little details would be enough. For the rest, it reads easily and I find that I want to know what happens next - always a good recommendation. All the best Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

Dear Gil, You are a skilful storyteller. The narrative is crisp and taut and makes for an easy and enjoyable read. The way you’ve described Bobby’s relationship with his father can certainly evoke strong emotions in many readers. There is great characterisation as well. You’ve etched out Bobby’s character as multilayered and rebellious without ever ‘telling’ us so. That is the mark of a very competent writer. How he perceives his father as a ‘bully’ is a very sad but accurate description of his feelings. Such a dysfunctional relationship can often leave permanent scars on young minds. They normally grow up to be self-absorbed, strong and individualistic, but highly intolerant of the slightest opposition. This naturally renders them as unfit in real life situations where teamwork is involved. I could get a glimpse of that in the part where Bobby interacts with Jerry and Dave and lays out his future plans for the folk club. Quite effortlessly, you’ve cued me in visually with your beautiful use of language. Well done, indeed. I’ve just read the first chapter and plan to read the whole story. The long pitch and whatever I’ve read so far are sufficient to ensure that. Nothing less than 6 stars for 'Chasing the Wind'. Best regards, AGC.

Hi Gil, Great characterizing. I think it's the details you use so effectively that makes the characters leap off the page. The era needs some more details in my opinion, his 'psychedelic' shirt is good, but some more reference to the delightful decor and fashion of the late sixties would not be wasted. I'm going to put it on my watch list and return to it later. All the best, Elana

Gill, Only had time to look at the first 2 chapters. Your writing is accomplished enough, that I noticed only some nitpicky details. In the paragraph starting: By the time .. you've used the word "mind" twice in close proximity... see, told you nitpicky. Since we're in Bobby's POV in Chap 1 consider not telling us his hair color.. we don't usually think of our own hair in terms of color. I think Woah should be spelled Whoa. I found the initial chemistry between Bobby and Kate more compelling than his with Jodie... who I know from your pitch is who he ends up with. I agree with the person who suggested you consider writing this more tightly. I think your first chapter could be much shorter and still convey all the information. ...but then I do have a tendency to write too tightly at times! Chap 2 from the father's POV did have some repetition of the father's desire to be controlling. Are controlling people that self-aware? Hope something I've said is useful to you... take what you wish and ignore the rest! Ann

This is a good story that will resonate with anyone familiar with family conflict - and who isn't, in one form or another? Bobby is an interesting and complex character, and the setting is equally authentic. I do have some reservations about the style, as I feel you've done a lot of 'telling' rather than 'showing'. The dialogue is good, but the narrative (to me) has more of sense of observation than of being inside the skin of the characters, looking out. For example the first paragraph of Ch 52 felt almost dispassionate, where it could be vibrating with the hopeless indifference he's feeling. It's only a personal opinion, though: I could well be out of step.

Hi Gill You’ve written a wonderful human story here, that all fathers with sons should read. You have managed to capture the relationship issues and dialogue very well, and the tension and conflict are excellent. Read four chapters and enjoyed the way you structure the POV chapters and set up the relationships. I only hope the rest of the book isn’t too archetypal in terms of the violence and tranquilised mother. But I’m sure you haven’t done that. I enjoyed what I read and your writing is excellent. A few specifics for feeback: Cover: Maybe only an issue for self-publishing, but the cover might suggest a non-fiction story about a famous kite surfer. Not sure the image matches the theme of the story? Title: Chasing the Wind. About wasting time pursuing something that will never bring happiness. Yes, that sounds appropriate to the story. Short Pitch: It’s okay, but you have two questions in one sentence. And also, lots of sons survive without their father’s love. So it’s not quite the right question. Is it possible to only have one question, say: “Will a brilliant artist’s success be destroyed by his turbulent relationship with his father?” Or something like that. Ch1: Should “This conversation isn't over” have an ! as if his father was shouting or angry? Crash helmet – maybe just helmet You mention leather jacket twice in the same para. Maybe just jacket the second time. Leant – or leaned? His mind returned to his father. Maybe “His thoughts returned…” Bobby merely nodded. Maybe just “Bobby nodded”. I’m a little confused when she speaks to Bobby about the assignment, because it sounds like she’s talking to Jerry. Maybe add “She turned to Bobby.” Not sure of the purpose of the story from the 1930s. Seems to slow the pace. Great ending to the chapter. Ch2: Brilliant. Love the way the reader sees Colin’s POV and realises Bobby is just trying to act defiant because of his father’s attitude. Very perceptive. Great dialogue, realistic. Best success with this. Ian

[QUOTE] Chasing the Wind Pitches: I thought your short pitch worked OK but I had a slight problem with the longer version. For me it was too long. Basically you have to think of wording that tells just enough of the story to draw the potential reader in, to sell the idea. Here you wander through most of the meat of the story. I would try and précis this down. I would up the tension just a little in the beginning. Split that first sentence into three. I would split it at ‘but’ and start the second sentence ‘Still it startled…’ and the third ‘Crockery…’ Just my ideas of course. Please ignore what you don’t like. And I would end the first para right there. ‘Calm down, dear,’ you do realize that you can’t use this phrase anymore don’t you – it now having achieved recent notoriety in political terms, it raises an inappropriate and unwanted smile in your (UK) reader. Your para beginning ‘Folk music…’ is what’s called ‘telling’ The voice is you the narrator. Now, I’m not one of these rule-bound anti-telling types but, especially with the chatty voice you have by now established, I found this a bit too disconcerting and too early. Once you have established more about the setting and your MC I think you can get away with this but, at this point, you are still building the characterisations. If you like you can build this into dialogue but you may find you just don’t need it at all. In general after two chapters I felt that you had a good flow going. I could easily see most of the detail of the scenes you evoked. One thing I noticed was the nature of Colin’s business; the studio only tells part of it and I was wondering what it was. Is there some reason why you don’t make it explicit early on? [ENDQUOTE] Thanks for this. Sorry for the slow reply. Absolutely right. I should have seen that in the first sentence by applying my poetry principles. I will definitely take a look at the whole first few pages. Many thanks. Gill

i really like how you start off with a big bang- it sets the tone nicely for the rest of the story. i really think you have found your voice for your characters. i really liked your short pitch too- defenitely appealed to emotion and made me curious to read more. one thing i wasnt a fan of though was your long pitch- it almost sounded like a summary of your novel. hoping to hear your feedback on Gut Instincts, melissa :)

Chasing the Wind Pitches: I thought your short pitch worked OK but I had a slight problem with the longer version. For me it was too long. Basically you have to think of wording that tells just enough of the story to draw the potential reader in, to sell the idea. Here you wander through most of the meat of the story. I would try and précis this down. I would up the tension just a little in the beginning. Split that first sentence into three. I would split it at ‘but’ and start the second sentence ‘Still it startled…’ and the third ‘Crockery…’ Just my ideas of course. Please ignore what you don’t like. And I would end the first para right there. ‘Calm down, dear,’ you do realize that you can’t use this phrase anymore don’t you – it now having achieved recent notoriety in political terms, it raises an inappropriate and unwanted smile in your (UK) reader. Your para beginning ‘Folk music…’ is what’s called ‘telling’ The voice is you the narrator. Now, I’m not one of these rule-bound anti-telling types but, especially with the chatty voice you have by now established, I found this a bit too disconcerting and too early. Once you have established more about the setting and your MC I think you can get away with this but, at this point, you are still building the characterisations. If you like you can build this into dialogue but you may find you just don’t need it at all. In general after two chapters I felt that you had a good flow going. I could easily see most of the detail of the scenes you evoked. One thing I noticed was the nature of Colin’s business; the studio only tells part of it and I was wondering what it was. Is there some reason why you don’t make it explicit early on?

Gil, your opening chapter did an excellent job of introducing us to the main characters and storyline. I, like a lot of other men, can relate to a time when our youth and rebellion pitted us against the desires of our fathers. You did a great job describing issues inherit in these types of conflicts. Your story is well written and your characters are interesting enough to make the reader continue reading in order to see how things play out. I'm rating this higly. Keep up the good work. Solomon - "Sons of God Daughters of Men"

[QUOTE] Bearing in mind that I'm no expert, I'll do my best... The beginning is excellent and all the writing is good. It's just that it's a nasty competitive world out there and standard novels tend to be somewhere around 70,000 words. I suspect if you tightened things up you could get it down to a more editor-friendly length without losing any of the essentials. I could well be wrong, but it might be something to try if it doesn't get taken up. I do really like it, and on no account lose heart! [ENDQUOTE] Thanks for this. You're right. I'll do my best. Gill

Bearing in mind that I'm no expert, I'll do my best... The beginning is excellent and all the writing is good. It's just that it's a nasty competitive world out there and standard novels tend to be somewhere around 70,000 words. I suspect if you tightened things up you could get it down to a more editor-friendly length without losing any of the essentials. I could well be wrong, but it might be something to try if it doesn't get taken up. I do really like it, and on no account lose heart!

Excellent idea and some nice writing, but I think it needs a rigorous editing job before it hits the big time. Good luck. and thanks for the kind comments.

I like that you start this out with action - it makes it easy to fall into the story - but I personally wanted to see a bit more description. What does Bobby look like? His house? The table? His father/parents? I need to be able to picture the scene in my mind and I couldn't. I also wanted to know a bit more about Kate - what exactly does she look like? There's a lot of dialogue and interesting things going on with the music here but I wanted more description. Chapter two drew my in right away. This seems to be told at a very different pace - it was actually much easier to read. Perhaps you wanted the first chapter to come across more in Bobby's "voice" - so it's a bit more disjointed and frenetic - which is how his mind works, and if so, then you did a great job because there is a very different feel to that first chapter than there his here to this second chapter. If not, you might want to re-visit the first chapter because the pace and tone here is much easier to read. You also have a lot more concrete detail in chapter two and that made it much easier for me to picture everything in my head. Hmm. I'm wondering if you even need the fight scene at the beginning of the first chapter - because the fight here is so much stronger. Perhaps the novel could just start with Bobby and his buddies at the folk club and then he comes home to the fight? Just an idea...and these are of course, just my opinions... In general this is an interesting story. I want to know more about Bobby. I believe in him. I'm rooting for him. - Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Gill, I still have a problem with chapter 8, the third last paragraph -for me, I need to have more text between thos two paragraphs. One second she is on the bike, putting his arms around his waist, and the next, driving away from her door. I would love to have some thoughts of her - some expectation of a kiss or whatever - before he drives away. To me, there is a wonderful possiiblity for description of the tension between them - right before he drives away.

Hi Gill - here are my remarks: Good pitch, good flow,believable characters, clear narrative voice with something to say, and doing it in a not wordy way. 1 chapter:( psychology):"replaying perfectionism, wanting to win:" this is a very accurate perception of the dynamic of what I have called "The Jekyll and Hyde-syndrome in my book, and which I have used 20 years of my life to explore and deal with in a way that brings healing. Therefore I am well fit for spotting a well-perceived and well-written text from that area. I fully recognize the attraction to a mr Hyde/Bobby - and sensing the depth of innocence and kindness underneath it. You have described it well, and therefore it is easy to accept for anyone: it is a real description, based on archetypes in our soul. The violator and the victim are two parts of the same coin - and only when we accept both parts of this pattern/polarity in ourselves, can the violence abate and the innocence feel safe enough to come forth. Anybody reading this book will have the same polarities within - we all have them ( to different degrees :-)) -and that's why this book and others like it always will be exiting to read. As long as I believe in your characters, all is well. And i do, as long as you describe their thoughts and feelings clearly and juicy. Question to chap.7 :1) this must be an error - how can a bottle smash into pieces when it falls on a carpet? 2) Come in Max - = Come in, Max. chap 8: I think it sounds freer to read, "Observe his arrogance for her ( not for herself.) Maybe? I would change the order of the sentence to this: "As the laughter began to die down, and the group broke into song, Jodie smiled..." In my ears, a bit awkward wording: "she feigned interests whilst in Katy's presence." I would love to read something more juicy than that - and you have really shown that you are a master in just that. The last part of chap 8 is important: you want to leave us with a bit of anxiety and anticipation for sure. Anybody who has lived through a life/relationship with a person belongs to the Jekyll and Hyde-syndrome, will subconsciously search fro release for the constant tensions s/he is having: HOW is Jodie behaving? is she drawn into Bobby's snares ( or charms)? we need to know how she feels. I would suggest a new paragraph after "she ignored his last remark as the bike pulled away." We need a bit breathing space before we reach her home. With Gill's permission: "For those who like to read more about the inner dynamics of these kind of relationships, and how to survive them and not have to "win" - please go to "When fear comes Home to Love" by Leelah Saachi." You are on my watch-list, and I have starred you.

Themes of freedom and restraint emerged early in this interesting story of conflict between father and son. Bobby's aspirations for self-expression are represented in his interest in, and talent for, folk music and fine art. But he is increasingly pressurised by his father into the more commercially controlled, although lucrative, world of graphic design. The family conflict finds its parallel in the period setting for the novel: late 1960s Britain, when issues of social change versus conformity were to the fore. I liked this aspect of the novel, as it felt 'right' for the period. The novel starts powerfully - and sets the scene for future battles between father and son. There is a good contrast presented here, between the inner turmoil of Bobby and the external, goading, calm disposition presented to his father. The early impressions of his mother, emphasised by descriptions of her appearance, e.g. 'lank' hair, also present a stark, interesting, and intriguing contrast to the bullying vigour of Colin Barron, the autocratic father. I feel more will be revealed later about this (I read the first three chapters). In ch. 1 Bobby is seen at the Folk Club and I liked the small but telling details that delineated relationships between the characters, e.g. Jerry and Kate sharing a cigarette; the humour that comes from close association with someone. Bobby performs to the audience, and his mock Suffolk accent is presented in a way that effectively catches the cadence, accent, and droll humour of the region ( I lived in Suffolk for 6 years). Some similes didn't quite work for me, i.e. '...eyes flashed like sapphires'. I haven't seen too many sapphires, unfortunately, and maybe a comparison with a more prosaic item might would be worth a try! There was a repetition of 'folk club' in close proximity, and perhaps too many associated words in a paragraph in ch. 1: 'screeched, heaved, crash, threw etc'. Overall though, I liked this story enormously. It is an eternal tale of family tensions and conflict, and the way these shape our character and destiny. Good stuff. Recommended.

Hi Gil I have just poked my nose into this and will difinitely be back for more. The pitch already hooks the reader with a familiar tangle of family mess of which I'm sure most people will be able to relate to. I love your title. Good stuff, I'll be back. Until then a constellation of stars and watchlisted Alexia Confessions of a Dervish.

I love the title. It brings in curiosity. Why would someone want to chase the wind? Where is the wind going? Reminds me of the saying, that’s the way the ocean flows. You go in the direction that everyone else is going in. The pitch is okay. I noticed you like to make us readers think. So I’m thinking. Then I guess it’s more than okay. :) Glad you put in Autumn 1969 because sometimes like me, but not all the time, readers will not read the book summary so knowing the time really gives us a mor detail image and sense of feeling the tone of the story. ‘Seconds before it happened’ maybe think about replacing ‘it’ with his father’s temper was going to explode and then replace that with it . . . I think. :) I have this same problem ALL the time. I assume the reader knows about everything. I hate it. But they are right. ‘He didn’t want a fight now’ plug in actual name instead of ‘He’ just to clearify it better so the reader doesn’t have to reread to make sure who you were talking about. What a first paragraph punch, literally. I like when books start off with a bang. I instantly related with the story. I am in the process of considering going to art school for advertising. I can picture things better by me relating with him or what is going on. The trick is to find many ways to relate to all different kinds of people. The more the better. And so the better the book will be liked. I hate sticking to genres. The club was pretty good and I really enjoyed it. But even with that said, I feel like it’s a bit long, only because it’s in the first chap and the beginning has to be very crisp and right to the point. Get one has to be done to do the trick then move on. Just something for you to think about. I reread it and it’s really good, like I said. So it’s up to you if you want to or not. I loved the chap. The advice I gave you is just to help fine tune it. But the story seems to be going very well and it has a hidden pull to it that draws you in. I can’t put a finger on it. Now that is just out of this world. An unknown hook. 6 stars. You will definitely be on my list of 10 books that I will consider putting on my shelf when I start to change it.

very interesting this book is and alot of people can even relate to this as this is the sort of things that many of us have went through or are still going through. but it will highly appeal to young adults who most of us go through constant arguments with our family specially the father. Nice! I shall continue to read on when i have time. Ps I adore the title as it to me is self explanatory when you trying to make anyone, not just your parents give you recognition as the result is always the same when they reject you. it just blows in the wind and you have to chase it! Great work!

Superb read. Six stars. Watch listed. Shelf soon.

good writing style, clear and flowing, easy to follow that makes this book a real joy... on my watchlist for now... read SEASONS...

Great dialogue along with crisp and vivid prose added to a very compelling story. I also found the characters were well constructed and authentic. I enjoyed what I read and l look forward to reading on when I can. Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

Only 8 chapters so far, but I sure hope to finish this gem! The intense emotional component keeps me coming back. You have somehow captured the very human spirit on paper. You have a real gift, Gill. Bless you. ~Faith

Gill - I've read the first four chapters. Because I'm used to Sci-Fi I'm not sure how much use my comments are going to be. I'll give them to you anyway. The book cover is good and clear. I can feel the wind blowing, makes me want to put my cardi on. Your short pitch is excellent and your long pitch is also good. I like your writing style. It's easy to understand and thankfully I didn't notice any mistakes. I'm a tad jealous at the easy way you've built the characters and relationships. I confess I could learn a thing or two from you. Although I'm more of a Sci-Fi bod I'm quite happy to enter the world you've created. Here's a list of things I scribbled down as I was reading. They may not be relevant or useful but they may give you something to think about - 1. Bobby is very restrained in the opening para. I thought he might have put up more of a fight before he left. 2. 'a name synonymous with perfection' - I wondered what the Barron's are perfect at. Is it the music or the art? Or are they just good at everything? 3. The voice in my head didn't sound like a 19 year old when I read 'you know he's bullied me since I was too young to defend myself.' It just sounded a bit mature for two mates chatting. 4. The opening chapter is excellent. It sets the scene, builds the characters and injects the tension. Can't really ask any more than that. 5. I'm wondering why Colin feels so compelled to 'force' his son to work in the graphic design business. I think the reason you give is along the lines of....Bobby's the only one capable of carrying on his excellent work. I wasn't completely convinced. 6. What was the facial expression that Bobby pulled that made Colin back off during their confrontation. Was it fear or aggression, I wasn't quite sure. 7. If I was Bobby I'd have just walked out. What stops him? 8. Bobby's fear of his father is worth questioning. At the beginning of chapter 3 he's motivated by absolute fear of his father. That surprised me a bit. 9. I've had a jammed starter motor before....I think I had to put it in gear before I rocked the car. That's a boy type comment. 10. When Jerry & Bobby are discussing Jodie in chapter 3 I thought it could have been a bit more laddish. 11. 'He's soft and gentle, but he's terribly hurt.' Not entirely convinced Jerry would talk like that. Hope you read these notes in the manner they're intended. They're just small items I questioned as I was reading but they're just my opinion and I'm most likely wrong. Gareth

- Chasing the Wind - (Based on chapters 1-3) The premise behind this appealed to me for two reasons: firstly, I love the folk music of the time, or at least the US folk stuff of the time (Dylan, Simon and Garfunkel etc). Is the title of the book an allusion to the Donovan song? Secondly, fathers and sons is always a topic I’m interested in exploring, both in my reading and my own writing. So we’re on good ground for me to start with…. The relationship between Bobby and his father is an interesting one here and explored well. It’s a fairly classic tale of a son struggling not to follow in his father’s footsteps but something about the era and the music scene around it gives it a new angle, for me at least. When I think about it, most of the stories of overbearing parents trying to force their offspring into lives they don’t want that I have read in recent years have always been immigrant tales, stories about cross-generational conflict and ethnic/cultural differences. So it’s something relatively unusual for me to delve into a story like this. I enjoyed that Bobbie had Jerry there as a kind of pressure valve to blow off steam at. It’s a device one of my favourite authors, Andrew Greig, tends to use a lot. He always seems to have someone who’s a bit of a loner with a few friends he can lean on when need be. I also liked the way we were put into the father’s head in chapter two so that we can see how unreasonable the old man is without any authorial intrusion. I wondered after reading the chapters I have done if the father is to become more sympathetic over time. I think it’d be nice to mix up the emotions and make it less straightforward, not just rebel son versus unreasonable father. But I can’t comment on that after what I’ve read so far…. I have some nitpicks and I’ve just noticed they relate exclusively to chapter 1…. -“1969 was a good year to be folk club president.” I wondered whether it might be smoother to simply have the date at the top of the page. The line here I assumed was to make the time clear to us but, as I say…. -Bobbie’s having gotten involved in folk only sixteen months previously made me wonder how he was already president of the club. It would be perfectly possible but I’d like to know whether it was his enthusiasm, his charisma, or his music etc. that got him there so fast. -“Hi baby.” I think ‘Baby’ should be capitalized at the star and there needs to be a comma before the person addressed in speech. So “Hi, Baby.” -“Bad-tempered redhead” seemed a bit of a tame reply to what Bobbie was called. -I thought the line “Bobby and Kate always rubbed each other the wrong way,” a little superfluous as this was already demonstrated by the dialogue. This would be the part when a know-nothing, novice author, i.e. me, trots out the old ‘show don’t tell chestnut’. -I might also trot out that chestnut with the line “He had them captivated as he always did.” I’d have liked to hear the hush falling over the crowd a bit more, people closing their eyes and listening to the words, others leaning forward in their seats etc. Nitpicks over. And all of them can be taken with a pinch of salt and/or jettisoned completely since I make no claim to writing expertise. So, some nice characterization in here and a good story in very readable prose. Liked it, so I did. All the best with it, Ross

I really enjoyed this. At first I was sceptical about reading. A lot of books that are set in the 60’s and 70’s exploit the flaws of the era for entertainment value but you don’t. You manage to entertain while being genuine and realistic, and it is a pleasant refreshment. Your dialogue is very real and helps your characters to almost leap from the page. The tension between Bobby and his father had me sitting on the edge of my seat. Even now that I am finished reading I am still thinking of your opening scene. After reading the first chapter I feel as though Booby is real, and I know him personally. Thoroughly enjoyed this.

I've read the first 2 chapters and the characters jump right out. The dialogue is very real and the writing is excellent. I have rated and plan on returning to read more. Well done. Red

I've read the first 2 chapters and the characters jump right out. The dialogue is very real and the writing is excellent. I have rated and plan on returning to read more. Well done. Red

Chasing the Wind is a great book. Bobby, intuitive to his father’s outbursts, leaves the house. He wants to be a freelance artist. He is determined not to let his father win and to him, this is war. A clean, fast read that propels me swiftly through several chapters. The characters are likeable and we sympathize with Bobby’s mother who is worn out with the friction. We also empathize with Bobby. The fights are frightening and set the stage for things to come. The dialogue conveys the terrible conflict between father and son, giving some idea of Colin’s possible envy as well as his fear. Bobby is brilliant and he could just make it on his own. Very tense and packed with suspense. I really like this book. Highly rated. Claire ~ Chasing Pharaohs.

just completed chapter one - I really like this - Will read more as time allows ~

Hello Gill, Just read the first 3 chapters and enjoyed them very much. Plenty of action and conflict! And your characterisations are excellent, the dialogue rings true. I only have one suggestion and that is to consider tightening the pov a bit - it slips a bit here and there (eg ch1, pale blue eyes etc), not sure how much it matters though. One nit - in ch 3 you have a paragraph with several 'remembered' in it, the last repetition doesn't seem to go with the others. That's all I can say except that I will read on, it's a good story, and interesting as seen from two points of view. Best wishes, Vall

Gill, Your writing is practically flawless. You had me holding my breath from the off. This is a really well written book and it is on my bookshelf now. Thank you for adding my book to your bookshelf. Unfortunately, I modified it in light of some feedback I got (typos really) and have uploaded the amended version. I have also added a few more of my chapters, which you may be interested in reading. As a consequence of editing the book, I have removed it from your bookshelf and I'd be very grateful if you would re-add it. Thank you, Laura

Hi Gill, I came back to read a bit more and enjoyed chapter 10. The interchange between Bobby and Colin was very well done. "I'll try not to die on your premises." Vivid and tense. I'll pop back again. Cheers! John B Campbell

Just beginning my read of this; so far the writing is clean, straightforward and very, very smooth. I'm especially loving the dialogue, which is very real-to-life. Thanks for turning me on to this!

OK. I had to read chapters 1 and 2 twice and it wasn't until chapter 4 that I got it. Bobby's arrogance and bravado makes sense if he was physically abused growing up. By the time they get to be 19, people who were abused growing up can be - or can come off - as nearly fearless. If he's extraordinarily good looking and he has that much control over his emotions, he really is an almost Clint Eastwood character. He would be not only arrogant, but unforgiving. It's also his age. At 19, many people are extreme in how they look at life. I like Bobby, but the problem is that at first I thought he was overreacting to his father - like spoiled. It really wasn't until chapter 4 that, to me, his father finally became horrible enough to explain Bobby. I also liked Jerry. I think Jerry is a perfect foil for Bobby. When Jerry defends Bobby to his girlfriend, he also rounds out Bobby as a character. I also like the character, Kate. Her rigidity and fierceness plays up well to Bobby's same characteristics. There's not enough of Jodie in the first 3 chapters to make sense as to why she's the romantic interest. Again, it takes Jerry to explain her - that she's stable and calm. Here is what I'd like to see. The physical violence in the fight against Bobby and his father does not have to escalate, but I would like to see an understanding that there was violence when Bobby was growing up. Something like a thought that his father is almost afraid to hit him like he used to because now Bobby has grown up. Something like that or maybe a comment from Bobby that acknowledges that he was hurt a lot worst when he was growing up. Maybe a dare from Bobby to his father to go ahead and hit him. Also, I like that you're making the father more well rounded and not just a villain. A villain that is a father is also afraid. In this case, he's afraid his son will make the same mistakes he did. He's afraid his son will not carry on what he has built, and maybe you should make him just a little more jealous of his son - like maybe an acknowledgement that his son is better than he is. I'm also requesting that you put more of Jodie in the first chapter. I've read the first chapter twice and as far as I can remember there was no dialogue between the two of them - nothing that would explain why he's falling for her. Oh, and I wanted to say that I really liked how you portrayed his mother. She appeared really beaten down. This is tight stuff, making these people real and complex. I want to congratulate you for not going for the formulas. Your writing is original and very subtle. I look forward to reading more. And, I would request that you look at my book, "Dumbin' Down." It's new and hasn't had much attention, but has some of the same family dynamics as your book. Oh, and I just thought of something else that I really liked in your book. I really liked that Bobby felt like he was winning when his father lost his temper. That made for a very strong opening. Bobby is winning when he wears his father down and forces his father to react. There's no need for you to have Bobby announce that he is waging war. With tactics like the one in the beginning, it is obvious. The more I think about Bobby, the more I like him. I know I said this, but I really like the dynamics between Bobby and Jerry. Bobby can be indecipherable and then Jerry can explain him. OK. I'll read more tomorrow. Sandy Arnold

Just started your book. I'll try and complete it over the next few days. Well written. This should be an easy read. I can't wait! Sandy Arnold

Hi Gill, I really enjoyed reading the first four chapters. Your prose is clear and technically perfect. Bobby's relationship with his father is quite complex. He is scared of him yet confrontational at the same time. Eg. he can barely wait for his mother to make breakfast but he talks back at his father during the staff meeting --- when his father asks him to repeat what he said, to see if Bobby was paying attention, Bobby says "Can't you remember? You must be getting old?" :) guts that is. But the question for the reader is ... is it believable? that someone who can't wait for toast and is nervous when his bike does not start on the first try would be so disrespectful to the object of his fear (and here is the catch) ... "in public"? (just food for thought). But I do see the complexity of the relationship and maybe I'd have to read further on to see why he's in equal measures respectful and disrespectful. I loved too the build up of his affections for Jodie. It will be interesting to see how that goes. Whether she agrees to join the band. One thing that i felt was missing was atmosphere. I think you could draw out some atmosphere and background as you go along. i couldn't smell the bar, the smokiness - or non smokiness. i couldn't feel the crowd, were there many people, was it sweaty or was it cool and in low attendance? something like that. also, why is he soooo against working in his father's business and as an artist (i paint :)) i wouldn't mind working in a design firm even though my passion is fine art. they are related ... they are both creative arts and visual arts at that. its not like he's being asked to work as an accountant or a lumber jack. see? so here, i feel you should explain it to us. explain the difference. other than that ... i really enjoyed it and have starred and shelved. all the very very best with you writing! kari

Hi Gill, I read the first chapter and enjoyed it - a very authentic voice and setting the scene very well. I've backed it and look forward to reading some more. Philip

AS PROMISED this is now on our shelf!!

have 6 starred this to show intent and have added to our WL which means you WILL make our shelf in the next round of backings (its 11pm for us). Feel free to chase if at any time n will let u know exactly how long. Good luck with it!

Gill, What a poignant and powerful work you have here. JBC

Gill - Chasing the Wind - I like this a lot. Bobby is vividly brought alive, as is the competition between him and his father. A classic father/son conflict that resonates deeply in the way it is played out. The cast around Bobby are equally well defined and their interactions feel fresh and authentic. Then there is the pleasure of the setting, the cultural themes of the time, informative for the young and resonant with memories of that generation. But what makes this story special its emotional depth. Refreshing here my comment from months ago and have caught up now with well-rating Chasing the Wind. Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Gill - Chasing the Wind - I like this a lot. Bobby is vividly brought alive, as is the competition between him and his father. A classic father/son conflict that resonates deeply in the way it is played out. The cast around Bobby are equally well defined and their interactions feel fresh and authentic. Then there is the pleasure of the setting, the cultural themes of the time, informative for the young and resonant with memories of that generation. But what makes this story special its emotional depth. Refreshing here my comment from months ago and have caught up now with well-rating Chasing the Wind. Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Wondering if you are into music yourself, because you write with passion about it, but it is a good contrast between your character's two sides of life, his music and his father. Now, I am expecting to see how would these two affect your character's life in the long term, which is gripping. What will happen between the father and son is quite interesting to know. Here, we are reading about the realities of our past, which, in some families, are still a common dead. Anyway, I enjoyed reading your story and I thank you for that. Backed.

Ah, that time...nostalgia and memories which you have brought back to life. This story makes good reading enhanced by your clear writing style and your gift for character studies. The pitch offers much to come and the setting for this tale is familiar for many of us. I need to read on to see where this uncertain journey of Bobby's will take him, meanwhile starred and backed. Margaret.

Ah, that time...nostalgia and memories which you have brought back to life. This story makes good reading enhanced by your clear writing style and your gift for character studies. The pitch offers much to come and the setting for this tale is familiar for many of us. I need to read on to see where this uncertain journey of Bobby's will take him, meanwhile starred and backed. Margaret.

This is a story as old as time about the relationship between father and son. Not the going fishing, playing football sort of relationship but the rivalry sort. The rage fury and regrets that this unfolds makes for an engaging read. A nicely percieved tale. Sue Knowing Liam Riley

Well done Gill. I read this some time ago but never got around to leaving a comment. This story really pulled at my heart strings. I identified with Bobby so much it was hard to read in places but only because of my own experiences. I think it really well written and keeps you hooked right the way through. Can't wait to read more, keep writing!! Kate

I feel for Bobby and the tension in his family so his plight drew me in. I think you do a wonderful job of creating atmosphere too, not nostalgic, but in the moment. Patricia

i will back this book with absolute pleasure. I haven't read that much yet, but i will read on, i promise. So far i love everything about it; the plot, the characters, the flow of your wonderful writing, and i love the way you always manage to keep the reader on Bobby's side. well done abi

I am backing this book based on the brief reading I was able to give it tonight. The characters are well-drawn, and the dialogue rings true. The tension between Bobby and his father is nicely played out. You manage to keep the reader on Bobby's side, but with an understanding of the father's demands. Nicely done. Backed with stars. Patricia West Hays The Witness Tree If you have any time at all, I would appreciate your taking a look at my book and rating it as you feel it deserves. Thanks.

Gill, *Chasing the Wind* is an apt and beautiful title for this sad but charming story. The pains of adulthood, that so sad friction and, perhaps, misunderstanding between father and son and the heady times they lived in of the late 60s. You make us feel his father's fury, not only physically, but mentally as he relives - perhaps, his own regrets. Yet at the same time he's so pleased with himself, what he has achieved. Bobby's mother is unraveling before our eyes, and it's a stark contrast with the simple happiness at his friend Jerry's house. We also have a little romantic intrigue... which may of course grow as the novel progresses. And the folk songs may tell us their story as we go, as much, perhaps, as Lizzie's kite might track it for us. Nits? A few... Some punctuation could be tidied up. In dialogue you need commas, ma'am! For example, in the opening, it should be -- "Calm down, dear," his mother said to her husband, her voice shaking........... Ah, one thing there, and of course the opening is all-important. You have *sort of way*, one after the other in that opening section. Later, we have *fag*... Not a nice word to use in the narrative, and, um, Americans won't like it one little bitty bit. The folk-story is great -- one typo I'm not sure about. *A new rector was appointed to a West Suffold living............* (Word missing???). I love the titles *Cobwebs* and *Corn Dollies*! I think, perhaps, you could have a bit more atmosphere in that section - audience whistling etc. Use that *this is Bobby's world and he can lose himself in it for those few precious hours* kind of thing. The confrontation at home with his father, Colin, bleeds. I wasn't sure, though, at this point, what Colin's business does. I know it's graphic design, but I think you could expand it a little, because I'm not sure readers will grasp the difference between studying for fine art and what we later learn should be, according to his father, Art and Design. (I, personally, feel the pain at that one - not sure I could've earned a living as an artist, either!!). But with Colin's business, I think a little expansion might help - advertising work, for whom and what, and it could come out a little more at the meeting. Then Bobby can splutter away to his heart's content about not wanting to design corporate logos, images, soap boxes.... etc.! Along with a bit more of his hopes and dreams at this early stage - going *on the road* perhaps, earning pin money at gigs to pay for paints and do landscapes as he goes. I guess a lot more of this will come out as the story progresses, but I just think that difference between his father's business and Bobby's own hopes as an artist in the fine sense, would set the conflict up rather more - although I do see, but only from the pitch, that there are *secrets* to come out. It's a fine portrayal of a coming-of-age, and an interesting, colourful period to set it, with almost as much *open road* as if it were on the wide open highways of James Dean's U.S.A. And with old folk music to set it off, just as atmospheric as America's country & western five 'n' dime... Highly starred for the promise this story has to offer, its deep insight, and backed to help it on its way. Kay (Waystation to Prosperity Street)

I read the first 4 and then the last chapter (what a cheat I am!). Overall it's a well written, well structured story with an authentically recreated setting. The characters are strong and compelling - especially the relation ship between Bobby and his dad which I could relate to. The punctuation needs sorting out, particularly at the end of speech where commas are missing. Also when referring to someone in speech, a comma is required before their name. I can't help but nitpick the thank[-]you in the last chapter and when Kate starts to speak and Bobby takes over. When Bobby speaks, it needs to be on a separate line. As I said these are minor and a good editor will fix all of these. In essense it's a quality read that deserves a chance at publication. Good luck Murray (Lost Isis)

Gil, you have written a captivating story that I think will hit deeply at the core of so many readers as they experience the family dynamics of Bobby and his father, and in that context, compare it to their own. I think the opening chapter did much to not only acquaint us with Bobby, but to understand him. He is a layered character - reactive, conflicted in his relationship with his father, creative and outgoing. He is just the type of character to want to follow, because he's also unpredictable. I like the clean style of your writing, which is unencumbered by wordiness and sends the reader easily into the story. Your setting is great - the late 60's and early 70's are mythic for those who have been there, and especially for those who wish they had been! I wish you much success with Chasing the Wind, and I believe you'll find it. Lizzi (Out of Sync)

Gil, you have written a captivating story that I think will hit deeply at the core of so many readers as they experience the family dynamics of Bobby and his father, and in that context, compare it to their own. I think the opening chapter did much to not only acquaint us with Bobby, but to understand him. He is a layered character - reactive, conflicted in his relationship with his father, creative and outgoing. He is just the type of character to want to follow, because he's also unpredictable. I like the clean style of your writing, which is unencumbered by wordiness and sends the reader easily into the story. Your setting is great - the late 60's and early 70's are mythic for those who have been there, and especially for those who wish they had been! I wish you much success with Chasing the Wind, and I believe you'll find it. Lizzi (Out of Sync)

Great pitch and storyline. Backed :) Dawn Sammy and the Wise Willow

Hi Gill, Excellent writing, I really enjoyed it. starred. Joy

Great opening few paragraphs. The theme of a parent's love always being out of one's grasp is one that will strike a chord with many readers. You capture the pain and the aching tension between desiring love and hating to give in. Bobby is well developed and instantly we are feeling for him, drawn into his heartache. Karen

HI GIL ' CHASING THE WIND' NICE COVER NICE PITCH , makes one interested in all the why this and that , makes one want to read on. read a few chapters, i can feel the friction as it builds up almost from the start, and continues on in that vein. nice slow read here and the knowledge that a lot is to happen later on making for a good story backed TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES' please read some of mine if time and if you like oblige and back thanks

CHASING THE WIND Excellent start. Have not managed to read all of it yet. Subject so interesting as is the setting.

Chasing the Wind Your pitch and your introduction work well, inviting the reader to continue. You also have a good command of dialogue and the pain of the father-son relationship becomes clear from the very beginning and its impact on the son's daily life. The manuscript does need some editing, which I'm sure can be accomplished when it gets close to publication. Having survived a different, but also traumatic relationship with my father, I found this read quite fascinating. Lenore Surviving the Seaweed

Chasing the wind. I read this a day ago and was most impresed. A very good read, with interesting characters and dialogue.

Gil, After reading your pitches and reading a few of your chapters, I'm happy to place Chasing The Wind on my shelf. Rodney

One of the most striking aspects of this has to be your writing style. You've managed to balance dialouge and desciptions well, paired with your diction and tone - altogether creating an easy to read style. It flows and is very visual, but not overtly so. Your characters seem well developed, particularly Bobby. But a problem I noticed could be the evidence of plot, particularly in chapter one. The first chapter is meant to set the reader up for what's to come; give them some expectations without fully giving yourself away. I found the first chapter didn't quite do this for me. None the less, I emensely enjoyed what I've read. Best of luck in your writing! And congrats in your writing accomplishments. After all, not everyone can say they've written a novel!

I went to ch 1 as request and am going to be honest as possible--per your request. Here it goes: 1st paragraph worked as a hook for me. ", his breathing..." run-on sentence. The tension builds through 4th paragraph The dialogue is believable. Although, I'd fix the formatting glitches from the upload. As we set up for the show, the dialogue opens up the characters, revealing faults, humanity--even hints at the plot. You capture the language of the era "protest songs" the conflict between folk and electric, etc. I appreciate the full circle--farther waiting when he comes home. The repetition of the arrogance to mask fear. The tension there is palpable. There's no fault in the language, style or voice. It's your own and works. This is the worst I can say in terms of criticism: where is the plot going? Although I have hints through the club scene and father/son debacle. I don't see more at the end of ch 1. That's not an issue if you're in control of it. You know--and I don't--what happens ch 2-the end. So I guess the most horrible thing I have to say to you is the question: do you want me to have a strong sense of direction right now? Becasue I have father/son and music. Maybe people say nice things about ch 1 because you took the time to write it well. A thought, anyway. I hope my notes help.

CHASING THE WIND, Stampmans Orphans. I thought I had written a comment on this before as it was familiar. Must be getting old! I've taken a look at just the first few chapters as you particularly asked me to do. However, (IMHO) I don't consider there is a lot wrong with this at all. The only personal nit I have is that you tend to have very long sentances that could fail to hold a reader's attention. Apart from that and (that was my own feeling) - you have a nice family drama between father and son - bullying, alcohol and a tenseness with this power struggle thatbuilds as you get further into the story. Interesting narration concerning the '60's, researched and reads quite authentically. Adding that to a good plot makes for a good read. Hope this helps. Best Wishes Faith THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

I love kiting and kite buggying- The cover drew my attention. I am a musician- The first chapter got me reading! I have added your book to my watch list and will offer feedback when I have dug deeper. Best wishes, Tony (Travelfreaks: The Great Adventure)

Family drama and character development in the year the sixties stopped swinging. But this is a very different, non-cliched sixties. Nicely done. Backed

[QUOTE] The writing flows well & the characters have depth. I read chapters 1 - 3. In chapter 3 it says "he didn't want to upset his father" but cos of his behaviour at the end of chapter 2 & his behaviour at the meeting I thought in some ways he does want to upset his father. Maybe it would be better to say it wasn't worth being late cos it would cause too much trouble or something like that. When I get home I'll back this as I can't back books on my phone for some reason. [ENDQUOTE] Hi Tim, thanks for taking the time to comment and thanks for that particular point. Very true, I'll change it.

The writing flows well & the characters have depth. I read chapters 1 - 3. In chapter 3 it says "he didn't want to upset his father" but cos of his behaviour at the end of chapter 2 & his behaviour at the meeting I thought in some ways he does want to upset his father. Maybe it would be better to say it wasn't worth being late cos it would cause too much trouble or something like that. When I get home I'll back this as I can't back books on my phone for some reason.

The best part of this is when dad tells the kid he's not getting a free pass if he's too lazy to work. Some things I just don't understand. Isn't that how it's supposed to work? I like how you set that up. Good work. I'm putting it on my watchlist. Give a look at mine, if you get a chance. Thanks. Gary

[QUOTE] Gill Good plot and you've a likeable writing style. I read to the end of chapter two, like the power struggle going on between father and son. I think the very start of chapter one needs a bit of tinkering with, but obviously that's just my opinion. Good luck with this Charlie [ENDQUOTE] Thanks Charlie, no, you're absolutely right and I'm glad you said that. I'm trying to fix that right now. I added a bit to the front to make the story start with the subject matter of the book, but it doesn't work so I need a total re-think. Thank-you, it confirms what I was thinking. Gill

Gill Good plot and you've a likeable writing style. I read to the end of chapter two, like the power struggle going on between father and son. I think the very start of chapter one needs a bit of tinkering with, but obviously that's just my opinion. Good luck with this Charlie

This is very descriptive. Thanks for supporting Invisible Dawn. I've attached comments for some fixes in a message. Backed. Weston Kincade

This is well written, very descriptive. Best of luck with it. Mandi Dacia Wolf & the Prophecy

Very well written but frightfully intense!

Dear Gill Wyatt, Back in the folk scene they were Chasing the Wind which is a lot safer than chasing the dragon. I hesitated to read about hate between a father and son – rather an uncomfortable subject as in Desire Under the Elms or Long Day’s Journey into Night – but I was interested in seeing how you handle such an emotional subject. Good job, Gill, and best wishes and backed. GK Stritch CBGB Was My High School

Gill, The premise is excellent and you have set up your characters very well. Thumbs up from me. Backed. N.Lalit ( Siren )

You have a modern day Turgenev like strugle between father and son intertwined with the struggle of a young man attempting to find himself. All of this is complicated by love and familial histories. A large bite from the human struggle that you manage to help the reader digest with good writing. Backed Scorselo

I checked out chapters 1, 60 and 61. You seemed to have developed a strong strory with family issues that have lasting psychological affects. Many people like such stories, especially when there is a reasonably happy ending. My only suggestion is to proof for minor comma errors and use of double quotation marks instead of single ones for dialogue. Favorite line: "Martin Luther King once said that 'Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor, it must be demanded by the oppressed.' " Also, thank you for backing and commenting on Death and Destiny. Natalie

Gill, Ah, the angst of families, of growing up. No one issues a license to have a child, to start a family, or gives a course. We all sort of muddle along. You've shown the pain of familes well. Best of luck. I'm so glad you are following your heart. Caroline

Mmm sure thers a good book in here somewher chapter 1 needs work its clumsy and dosent make the story clearly defined. Read this out loud to someone and het editing Gingernut

I think you have the makings of a good story here I just think it needs a little bit of an edit to make it sharper. You set the scene well 1960’s and the folk revival. The start of the book is a bit crammed with information. The scene switches a bit unexpectedly to the club being open and the acts doing their turn. Perhaps you could have had Bobby looking out of a window and noticing crowds turning up for the evening show. I’m not really convinced with the angst between father and son there needs to be more to it than the lack of interest in the family business. Watch out for inappropriate cliché’s -he puffed out his ample chest – not heard ample chest used on a man before it’s usually a term for a woman. I really think that you have a good book hiding in here. You have an excellent premise the father and son rivalry, the redheaded girl a mystery, will she become a love interest? You have lots going on and I’m sure a tweak here and there will move this book up the rankings. I wish you lots of luck with it. Wilma! x Regards Wilma1 Knowing Liam Riley – please take a moment to take a look.

Great title. Maybe many of us were chasing the wind as we were growing up. Your book is one of a kind, I don't remember reading about the generation gap other than in magazines and newspapers; and of course, the movies. Maybe in the sixties I was not much into reading books, or anything for that matter, other than the things they forced me to at school. This is very well written, showing both sides of the coin. Congratulations! Backed with great pleasure! David Placeres Sunless Shadows

My brother could be your character, Bobby. Nicely done. Suz

This is going to be a great story, I can tell after reading the first few chapters. Excellent character development, vivid narratives, and realistic dialogue make this a story that many will want to read. Shelved.

I can see you have this really finished. It is a kind of sixties retrospetive and in that sense will appeal to that generation as well as today's youngsters that are in to bands and performing arts. It reads well but there is some dead stuff in e.g. 4, 5, 6 - just a paragraph here and there which isn't necessary to the action and weighs down the whole. Never mind, this and punctuation and typos you can correct when you do your final edit. Lara Good for Him

Hi Gill, well-painted world, well-told story. love B's character. on my shelf. i could pass on only kudos, but here's a minor thought about B's inner world. pls ignore if it doesn't fit your narrative. you give us nice glimpses into his head; would like just a few more. best wishes, andy

Chasing the Wind- Ah, I remember those days .... Good read. Dialog is well done. You've chosen a very volatile subject but one that could really go places in fiction. Needs good edit for punctuation including the proper use of 'its' and it's' and the elimination of most '-ly' words. Transition in ch1 went from setting up the room to opening the show in the same paragraph--I had to back up to see what happened! Other times in this chapter, people showed up in the conversation with no introduction or description. This happens when the auuthor sees a scene very vividly in her mind--it's easy to forget the reader doesn't have the same vision. That said, telling is not the answer. In your opening paragraph, we're told Bobby is mad twice and still his actions seemed over the top for as easily as he shook his anger off to enter the building. My advice would be to focus a little more on the feelings and give us more reason for the father-son riff. Sure, Bobby hates his father and doesn't want to join in the family business, but why? Good bones here. I'll give it a spin later on tonight. -Barb

This is such a riveritng read, absorbing the reader from the the first paragraph. The pace is fast holding the reader's attention. Your detailed descriptions really do set the scenes. The characters are lively, fairly leaping off the page. First with Kate and red haired temper, then Jodie with the deep green eyes holding mystery and captivating Bobby . The storytellng, then the songs and activities were entertaining and the chapter ended with a hook - Bobby's fear. The third person narrator is clear and concise. The language is exemplary. I like the way the dialogue helps drive the plot. Masterly writing there. Colin is an incredible character, really looming out of the screen. his anger exacerbated by alocohol. yet Bobby holds his own. I felt so sorry for him that his mother is unable to suppport him against such a self-opiniated bully. This is captivating and one I shall return to read further. Backed with pleasure, Katy.xx Phobic Dawn.

You tackle a very emotive subject with this book. Your writing is polished and tight. The interactions between characters feels natural and is easy to read. Already backed with pleasure. Sarah

Very well written. Easy read that draws you in. Backed. Herschel Shirley (Earth Reaver)

An easy tale to become absorbed with and find that time has passed quickly, well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

I remember nineteen sixty nine and folk clubs, rock clubs and the like were the best places to meet boys. I can still feel the sweaty cold walls of the cellar club where I met my first husband. You have captured the time well and the agro between Colin and Bobby is shown through tight dialogue . I've read the first three chapters and this has all the making of a roller-coaster ride of emotions. WEll done. Backed K.J. Rabane - According to Olwen.

Hi Gill, I enjoyed Bobby's portrait, Jake trying to mollify him and his drive to manage the club rather than work for his father. He and the club were introduced well so that I became immersed. The show was something to see and hear! His confidence and friction are alluring, his presence well-written and leading the story. Easily shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Nicely written with good pace and diaalogue. Backed. Colin

Gill - Chasing the Wind - I like this a lot. Bobby is vividly brought alive, as is the competition between him and his father. A classic father/son conflict that resonates deeply in the way it is played out. The cast around Bobby are equally well defined and their interactions feel fresh and authentic. Then there is the pleasure of the setting, the cultural themes of the time, informative for the young and resonant with memories of that generation. But what makes this story special its emotional depth. Backed with pleasure, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

You have an extensive book with some good writing. Best of luck with your future writing and with this book. -author of December Gold

this brought back some glorious memories. I missed the early years of the revival (Ma wouldn't let me stay out that late), but I was able to be part of the folk scene later on and I loved it and love it still. Morris on! :-)) The book was a delight and its is a pleasure to back it.

Bobby wants to pursue folk singing career, but his father Colin wants him to join his Graphic Design Business, and is willing to use tyrannical and dictatorial methods to get his way. Bobby a typical rebellious youth doesn't garner much hope his father will change. Nicely written with real focus on the beginning of the work against play era with the building of art centres and community centres that supported culture against business. Backed with pleasure Daniel Manning No Compatibility.

Gill, You have a well written and moving story here only managed to read a couple of chapters but the characters reach out to you... :) Diane

Backed with pleasure Lizzie Scott :-)

You've given us a tense, evocative story with believable characters and vivid settings. Fast paced. Razor sharp writing. Backed.

The father/son struggle is intense... I've seen these kind of battles in real life; I can understand and believe the Colin/Bobby power struggle.. Backed. A couple constructive criticisms that you may or may not want to consider. You can easily remove many of your 'ly' adverbs and a bunch of your passive, telling 'was's, 'coulds' and 'woulds'... examples. 'He looked around briefly' - 'He took a brief look around' 'Bobby nodded as he inhaled deeply now' - 'Bobby nodded as he inhaled.' 'Someone would have to carry on the name of Barron'- Someone needed to carry on...' 'Colin could sense fear' - 'Colin sensed fear.' 'By nine o'clock the meeting was over' - 'The meeting ended at nine o'clock' Cheers, and good luck with your writing, Jennifer

Gill. Touches of 'There will be blood' I see. Powerful underlying theme. This book may touch a few raw nerves with some of your readers! Best of luck. My childrens' book is far lighter reading for 7 year olds! Jerry [paperbat]

You have created a chaotic story that feels like the sixties. Your style is very evocative and emotional. Wakefield Mahon Emerald Dreams

Wow, there's quite a power struggle going on between Bobby and Colin. That's what drives this story; that's what the story is all about. Bobby's rise to fame is secondary, at least in my opinion. You need to ask yourself: Is this a story about Bobby's rise to fame (an ascension plot) or is this a story about Colin's overly critical parenting style (a moral plot)? It could be both, of course, but it will be more about one than the other. You do a fine job of getting showing what these characters WANT, and good characters always want something, usually something unattainable; that's what creates conflict. Bobby and Colin want something from each other (Bobby wants acceptance; Colin wants compliance) so that's why I think the story is about their power struggle. Your pitch, which is well done, supports that notion. Nicely done. You got a good conflict going here. Backed. J. Moore Vigilante

CHASING the Wind: Bobby in all his arrogance is intriguing, and I suspect more vulnerable than he lets on. Your first chapter pops with a fast pace that keeps the reader going. Well done! Heidi Pearl Edda

a classic theme and storyline that is marked by powerful emotions and I love how Bobby still retains the little boy who wants his father's love even as he enters the adult world and how nice it takes a stranger to guide him and show him to be the man he is.

[QUOTE] I love the backdrop of the folk music scene--I found this interesting and made me to feel immediately what time/place I was in. Your pace is great, with just enough detail and dialogue that moves the story forward. The only smallish suggestion I would give is to limit your use of adjectives when you do go into the narrative bits. We don't need to know what color or texture everything is; also, in my opinion the use of two adjectives together ("thick dark") should be extremely justified. Usually one searing detail is enough--too many, and your readers glaze over and are left with nothing. Overall, well done and certainly a unique and engaging story. ---Mary The Qualities of Wood [ENDQUOTE] Thanks for the advice, it really helps in honing the work. It takes me a while to catch up with the advice and edit accordingly, but I will get around to it. Cheers Gill

I thought the theme of this would be depressing, but it was captivating! Thanks for backing, i backed yours also Conor, The Hydromancer

I stumbled upon this due to the pitch. I have only read a little but I will and demand to read more. I like the way this book is written and and I love the style. I have a feeling that this work will go all the way. BACKED INDEED Brendan Doherty The Russian Hat

Hi Gill, I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment. Enjoy everything and good luck. Rusty Bernard The Mental Pause

Hi Gill What a great sense of the period you give and what an interesting off-the-wall subject matter! A couple of small things: I'd leave out the sentence beginning "every move he made" - telling not showing. Also the clause beginning "but Bobby Barron was a strong and charismatic leader" etc. Otherwise, you have nice fluent dialogue that dramatises the characters' relationships well and have set up the milieu well for the coming narrative. Backed. Nicole Chosen

This is excellent. I enjoyed the descriprtion of the folk club and the father /son conflict is boiling up nicely.

oops...must be more tired than I thought...I mean of course...reading this book (not ook lol). Great read and I'll be back for more tomorrow. Lizzie

Wow. Wish I was more awake then I'd be sitting here for some time reading this ook. Like what I've read so far so backed with pleasure. Lizzie Scott :-)

I love the backdrop of the folk music scene--I found this interesting and made me to feel immediately what time/place I was in. Your pace is great, with just enough detail and dialogue that moves the story forward. The only smallish suggestion I would give is to limit your use of adjectives when you do go into the narrative bits. We don't need to know what color or texture everything is; also, in my opinion the use of two adjectives together ("thick dark") should be extremely justified. Usually one searing detail is enough--too many, and your readers glaze over and are left with nothing. Overall, well done and certainly a unique and engaging story. ---Mary The Qualities of Wood

Wow! I read it in one sitting. Shocking in many ways, but full of wisdom. The characters come to life - it unfolds like a film. One criticism; some of the passages describing thoughts and feelings seemed repetitive and slowed the narrative down. The characters are so well drawn that so much explanation seemed unnecessary. Another niggle-'different to' instead of 'different from' and 'sat' instead of 'sitting.' I'm being pedantic, I know, but I had grammar drummed into me from and early age, and as the story makes clear, what we learn as children colours our future lives. An amazing book - it deserves to succeed.

my profile hasn't been functioning, rebacking your book....not even sure if my comments made it to you... apologies!

Gill, your first chapter definitely has potential. I like the mix of narrative and dialogue. Happy to back your work. Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

A great first chapter. The seeds of conflict showing and a feeling of despair and fustration building up to the scenes with his relationship with his father. I like the music background giving us a place and time and a terrifc atmosphere. Like everyone says the dialogue is brilliant. I'm backing with pleasure. Christina From Under the Bed

A great first chapter. The seeds of conflict showing and a feeling of despair and fustration building up to the scenes with his relationship with his father. I like the music background giving us a place and time and a terrifc atmosphere. Like everyone says the dialogue is brilliant. I'm backing with pleasure. Christina From Under the Bed

Nicely painted scenes full of atmosphere and the attitude. Good mix of showing and telling as Bobbie's character begins to show and the seeds of conflict begin to sprout.

Gill, You've caught the essence of the 60's when a father could prevail heavily upon his family to adhere to his commands. 'While under my roof....etc' and this draws us on to Bobby's side. The longings and conflicts are well protrayed and the writing very good. Glad to back it. Backed, Ann Mynard (Windshadow)

Bobby's passion for folk music and the club shines through, despite the fact that he is literally in a war or wills with his father. A great story about the farmer and the vicar, then the Jolly Waggoner played, appropriately at the pace of a wagon - these details are what make the story so special. 'Masking his fear behind a cloak of arrogance', trouble is he does it too well. Colin, on the other hand, is not in control at all, and threats and violence are increasingly his only resort. The mother is not much use as a go-between or ref. Bobby's flippancy at the meeting is hardly going to endear him to his father, despite having made an effort to arrive on time. 'Twice you've managed to get a decent father', jealous of Jerry's step-dad. But he's stuck with Colin, 'I will get his respect if it kills me'. The fear is that it might kill either one or both, as Colin is driving himself into an early grave and driving his headstrong son to despair. In retaliation, Bobby shows him nothing but contempt, while his softer side is saved for the likes of Jerry's step-sisters. Maybe if he had the courage to approach Jodie, he's have the prospect of a brighter future. The psychology of the main characters is brilliantly portrayed, Gill, and the writing is finely detailed without losing any of the clarity ... backed. Possible nits: 'ran his fingers through ... ran a finger down', avoid repeats so early on. 'expressions harmonised to express [convey?]' There just a little too much action and / or too many tags, during the early dialogue between Bobby and Jerry: Bobby replied, Jerry mumbled, Bobby replied, Jerry almost choked, Jerry exclaimed. Only needs trimming slightly though.

Smooth and flowing, great characters and compelling story. It is easy to be taken in and swept away. I look forward to reading more, will be back. backed with pleasure all the best sue Fate's Chastening

Hi Gill, like the below comment, you do well with dialogue. My background is scriptwriting, and rewriting scripts for dialogue. Nice stuff! Backed. jim jack & charmian london

This is great, you've got a real handle on dialogue. It read very realistic and naturally. It's an intimate look at family and I really like Bobby's character. I think this would have a wide audience if it were published. I'm glad it's a complete book, I'm going to come back and read when I get time. But three chapters down and I'm very involved. Best of luck!! Missy

A wonderful first chapter; yes it is about relationships ... the family type. And about talent and music and friendship and so much more. Authentic sounding dialogues. Interesting characters. And a theme that seems destined to be as ruthless and breakingly prevalent as a father-son relationship could possibly be. And with a great cover and title. Backed. F. Ellsworth Lockwood "The Final Cruise"

We backed this some time ago - an excellent piece of writing which flows smoothly. Very interesting and descriptive throughout - snave

This is a fascinating take on life. Thanks for uploading the entire novel so I can come back and finish this gem! Backed for now with pleasure. Liz The Cheech Room

Gill, I read the first chapter of Chasing the Wind. The description was clear and vivid. When I can picture a scene in my mind without even trying. the writer has captured me for the moment. The story itself was not of tremendous interest to me, but genre preferences vary widely among readers. Backed.

You capture the essence of the late 60's extremely well. Your use of short paragraphs and crisp, realistic dialogue keeps the pace of your story flowing nicely. Your work is character rich and I like how you build the characters of Robert and Jodie. Your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed. Andrew Burans The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

You have enough nits below to keep you thinking but I will say that I found the flow of the writing a little disconcerting; not I think because the writing was not good enough or misleading but more that I did not expect so severe a work given the pitches. You write intense and provocative work and you should give that pitch a punch to ensure people will see that this is certainly something that deserves reading. BACKED

This has the true feel of '69 for those of us old enough to remember so there is an immediate audience for the book. I did have a little trouble with the first sentence 'Bobby Baron.... Brockton' - too many B's which made it sound rather childish. Punctuation is important, it's one of those things we notice when it's wrong rather than when it's right., 'Bobby; at last' should be a comma not a semi colon. I'd recommend Lynne Truss's "Eats, Shoots & Leaves", it's an easy read but spot on with those commas. Despite my comments I think this has lots of potential. Backed Robert Davidson THE TUZLA RUN

Chasing the Wind Gill Wyatt "What drives a man to hate his own son, and can that son survive his young adult years without the love of his father?" This sounds like serious drama. The familial elements are interesting, so is Jodie's grandfather. Grandparents do tend to be wise old sages. I feel sorry for Bobby having tooted his horn, gathering the courage to enter the house knowing father has waited up for him. I wonder though, can one really mask fear behind a cloak of arrogance? Perhaps weakness, but fear? I'm not so sure. But I'm no expert either. Enjoyable, impressive, good characterisation, good story. I see you've listed this as only "fiction". I think it reads like literary fiction too. But like I said, I'm no expert. Happy to give you a little push up the ladder with my backing. Best of luck with it.

Hi Gill, you've created a very strong character here. You write well and the narrative flows at an appropriate pace. Dialogue is sparkling. The era is well evoked. I liked it. backed. Best wishes, Barry LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

nicely done and very true to life-Backed. For another human interest story please look at 'the compulsive adventurer' Thanks Mike

I think I know these guys! Well written and evocative. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

Gill, Great short pitch and a good long version providing all the information I look for. One quibble,the 2nd paragraph of the long pitch begins, 'At art college HE meets . . .' I'm sure 'he' is supposed to refer to Bobby, but the last person mentioned is his dad, and as such there's potential confusion: might be better to use Bobby here. Into the work proper. This starts off fast, and you've picked an interesting setting (at least it interests me). A few observations as I go: --some of your tags, too me are overdone (he smirked, replied with a wry grin, exclaimed, dark brown eyes smiling, replied with venom in his voice) when only two characters are speaking few tags are required, and said often works, similarly if you have a beat -- eyes smiling for example -- you may not need the tag. --there's some authorial intrustion (Dave, who had just relinquished the responsibility the folk club) --in at least one place you have two characters' dialogue in the same paragraph (beginning 'Thanks Bobby, every Friday night got too much) which can be confusing. The actual dialogue though is good, I especially enjoyed it when kate joined the party. So, happy to give this a spin on the shelf.

Dear Gill, Your pitch is outstanding, enough so that I was compelled to back this novel. Whilst I've given it the full respect read it deserved, I intend to do so, however your story is so compelling and well written, I felt it deserved a backing. I will return with further comments Wishing you much success Sincerely Helen The Last Dream

Well written and draws us in with well developed charcters and diolouge. C W

Hi Gill You've covered a sensitive topic well here and the characters interact well and credibly. Some great dialogue too. Very enjoyable and alost eduational at the same time. DP Walker Five Dares

[QUOTE] CHASING THE WIND GILL WYATT You have immense talent as a writer in my opinion. Your charcter Bobby Barron is enticing and you weave the intrigure well (I would say a little more of the Barrons as this is important as yto why they are elevated in society) This is the type of plot, design etc that editors look for and please do not throw away your chance by ignoring commas (I noticed a lot were missing.) I will be very pleased to support this. [ENDQUOTE] Thanks for the advice. I'll consider how to say more about the Barrons and check the novel for those missing commas. Cheers Gill

Loved it, well written and beautifully drawn. I wish you the best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

CHASING THE WIND GILL WYATT You have immense talent as a writer in my opinion. Your charcter Bobby Barron is enticing and you weave the intrigure well (I would say a little more of the Barrons as this is important as yto why they are elevated in society) This is the type of plot, design etc that editors look for and please do not throw away your chance by ignoring commas (I noticed a lot were missing.) I will be very pleased to support this.

"Did God create Adam in the Sistine Chapel?" I like this. It's clever and confident. I'm glad you uploaded the complete text. I can come back and read more when I get a little time. 1969 was one hell of a year. Backed for now.

I backed this for the clever way you explored a complex scene and the interplay between the characters was also well penned. You elicit plenty of emotions from your words and plenty of empathy from the reader. Also your pitch is excellent, really giving the reader a flavour of the novel and grabbing my attention. Best, David Bailey of the Saints (hope you can return the favour)

The writing is excellent. Have you considered including more genres? Literary fiction, as you know, is top of the line in terms of authorship skills. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures & Literary Agent Blues)

Good storytelling. You have a heart wrenching story here, and you tell it in a voice filled with emotion. Your dialogue is realistic. Bringing in the sagacious grandfather give the story the balance it needs for believability. Experience is the best teacher. Backed. I hope you will give mine read and back it if you like it. Best, Robert Golden Conspiracy

CHASING THE WIND I like books that show older adults in a positive light and this one does that – so I liked it a lot. The dialogue between Bobby and his father is good; the way Jodie’s grandfather speaks to Bobby makes a good contrast. Overall – this is a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Welcome aboard, Gill. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch is bloody brilliant. It sold me on wanting to read this book. The long pitch should be broken down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. End the long pitch with one succinct question and not several that you have to pique the interest of your casual reader. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you. Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers! JC The Obergemau Key

Dear Gill, I love the song he sang to his dad & I got tears - my story of my father is bad, too - your quote at the end says it all that the oppressed have to demand freedom. ;( It's all in my memoir. Thanks for sharing your story - I was wondering if it's based on fact. Happiness never did come to me except from God & my children. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your pitch, which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book. :) "When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :) additional authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs." :) backed :) Love, Susie :)