Daer Dean, You have a strong story and it is even more intriguing because you are an Olympic medalist, and have cerebral palsy and epilepsy. The style is readable and what I like in particular is the 'voice' which is really approachable. I read the family history in the first chapter like reading a history of ordinary British people. The way it's written with affection and pride makes it likable. I thought it was a nice way to lead readers into your biography. Now, the second chapter dives right into the shocking bit of the story and the pace changes. It is in my opinion though I always think that too much "!" marks and capital letters actually weaken the impact. I also think it might be more effective to shorten the chapter, and tame down the outcries of anger. I am a believer that the "chilly silence" brings out more horror than the constant screams, which may numb the senses. I am only talking about the impact and effect here although your outcry of anger is totally understandable. It is another idea and you can ignore it but have you heard of a Japanese TV drama series called "Oshin"? It was broadcasted every morning for just 15 min. but it always makes you want to know the continuation. Oshin is a little girl who just suffers and suffers and suffers but lives straight and strong (and no wonder it became a grand hit in the third world and the countries like Cuba). Why I mentioned this, is because your life story seems to be full of events and lots of unexpected challenges, and yet you have come this far - winning bronze medal, and writing up a book, fighting for your case in the court. So I thought you have stories enough to make many short and continuous dramas to keep readers turn pages, if you do it tactically. It is not a fiction like Oshin (although it is also based on someone's bio) but won't you think about it? R

I've read through all 10 chapters you currently have set up. I don't believe you need anyone, especially me, to tell you that you could use some editing here and there. Personally, I don't even feel that it's important to set out for a first draft. What got me here was that everything you wrote had a stark realism to it, something that hits on every possible nerve and angle. I like the fact that your story is raw and unfinished, it makes it seem a lot more human. Also, I am wondering if you've ever experienced an aura just prior to having petit mals. It probably isn't that important in terms of your book, but I've been with a woman that has a cortical displasia in the left-frontal cortex for the past 6 years or so, she always seems to be able to 'feel out' just before she has one. Like running water without the wetness, from what she describes. I hope that you get the chance to polish this up. In the meantime, here's a 5.

Rough Justice by Dean Kelly. Foreword. Putting a foreword in a manuscript is a very good way to set out and setup what your story is about and of course how and where it originated. When it´s an autobiography, giving the background on the author, the reader has a certain sense of knowing and understanding the author. Judoman takes it one step further in his foreword as he gives credit and tributes to the many people who helped shape events in his life and eventually filled in the gaps for him to write such a story as Rough Justice. In the setup the characters are well placed, however they do need some rounding off. A little more research on those time periods in London and Scotland will be an added bonus to the manuscript. Weave the history of those time periods a little more around the characters and the story will simply flow. When writing about the birth of yourself, which is not always easy from a man´s point of view, put yourself in the position your mother was in at the time. We need to see the sensitivities. Busses coming and going takes something away from the sensitivity that the reader needs to feel. Don´t put words in capitals for effect. Write it so that your readers will get the sense of the injustices done to you and your family. (Remember, even today many women cannot afford medical assistance while giving birth and are suffering the same indignation and heartache as your mother.) The difference with your story is you overcame the obstacles of injustice and are here to tell the story and I believe you have taken action in the high court, although I have not gotten to that part of the story. As I read the story I get a sense of mixed emotions of sadness, friendship and love. However, I feel like I´m reading a story about someone looking into the life of another. Judoman the story is there, it´s your story. Tell us about your childhood with Paul. Remember it´s a manuscript and there are no restriction on length, so the canvass is all yours, use it. My suggestion would be to elaborate more circumstances surrounding your characters. Most of your characters are real and form an important time and bond in your life, so tell us about them so that we can share in your story. I think you just need to let go sometimes and be Dean for the sensitive parts and Judoman for the tough parts. You will have to see to the layout, go over your story again and see where you can elaborate more on the important characters in your life. I would suggest you do that before you look to self publish. Best of luck with Rough Justice.

Okay, this is amazing! So sad yet so compelling, the bond of a truly loving family with little more than each other. I can't help but leave yet another comment. This is a work that has truly touched me! I have NEVER read something this amazing! You are a trooper and a gifted fighter from what I've read. High, high praises, Nichole

The first two chapters of your story have brought tears to my eyes dean. I hate that doctor and feel for your mother. Three days of labor and no help, what was that doctor on!? You are truly amazing in your own right and you give a new meaning to the term miracle child. With CP and Epilepsy you have conquered quite a lot. In short this is an amazing work of literature and I commend you for putting your story out there. It will surely be an inspiration to any of those who have the honor of reading it High praises- Nichole

I love this so far dean! I can visualize all the happenings and feel every emotion. Not to mention I can relate to it personally. I was born with CP as well. You truly have talent -Nichole

Dean, I read all you posted, 1 - 10, and to say that I was blown away by your story would be an understatement. I had a tear in my eye at one point, and in the next breath I was laughing out loud (the part about being put in the ice-bath and being the cleanest kid on the Estate. Hilarious AND heartbreaking).You're a funny guy and no mistake. The legal parts of your autobiography made my blood boil, as we all know that you need big money to hire the best lawyers. Money makes the world go round. And as for the medical profession sticking together: they always have. My family has experience of it. But you rose above adversity to become a strong, confident person. Lesser personalities would have been ground down by the system. Hurray for heroes like you Dean! And I think this book would make a brilliant Guy Ritchie film, with all the stuff you got up to in your youth. On my WL and highly-starred. Bravo. Jane x

Dean, This is exactly what I would like to read and is not too unlike to my own book. You tell it so well with a very good narrative that makes me want to read on and on even though I know I have to put it down and get on with some work. the reason for this is easy. You have not only got a brilliant flow going on here but you describe so well without even knowing it and it matches the pace and flow of not only this storyline but also in this genre and thats where I can see you writing for a long time. So well done and I score this high. Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Many thanks. Sean

Rough Justice. Chapters 1 to 5. An autobiography written in such a way that minor typos or spelling errors cease to be of any importance at all. You explain your life in such a graphic and honest way - I am sure no reader will be able to, or want to, avoid getting pulled into your life in these early chapters. Your anger - expressed so openly- through the opening chapters is not only understandable, I think it's remarkable that you controlled yourself to the extent that you did. Very well done for writing this - I've only had time for five chapters but will return to read the rest very shortly. 6 stars and onto my watchlist. Janet Janet/Helen The Stranger In My Life

Hi Dean, I read 1-8, and found it a fascinating story, narrated with a very human voice. You tell it how it is, without any niceties being employed as cover-up. I find your worldview valid and thought-provoking. You also manage to put a lot of passion into your writing, something which brings home the power and strength of your personality, and reflects the energy and sheer bloodymindedness which seems to have driven the engine, and allowed you to collect those special judo-honours alongside a huge amount of personal success in life. I thought the sentence "I have found peace in my life" is very touching, and I wish you additional fulfillment through your writing. Backed. Ame Wolfmother

This is a great book and Dean Kelly knows how to express his emotions. I keep coming back for inspiration. Thanks for sharing, Dean. Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Hi Dean, After meeting you in the forums a couple of times, I thought I'd come and check out your book. Although I was pleased to find that this deals with my favourite subject - childbirth, I was also upset for you to find how wrong it all went. Unfortunately, your birth was not the happy event it should have been. The emotions and thoughts which usually accompany a birth still come flowing from the pages even after all these years and the story seems so fresh and up front, as if it had happened recently . . . which makes this a very touching read. I liked the writing for its unconventional approach and its immediacy. I shall back your book in a couple of days. Ame

Hi Dean, Thank you for your very moving account of your life in 'Rough Justice.' The overwhelming feeling that writing about your birth and childhood evokes is one of great anger. You certainly come from a very strong, supportive family. The 1960's brought a new 'fashion' for home deliveries, until sadly the rate of stillbirths and birth trauma increased so women were encouraged to deliver babies once more in hospital. GP's have and still do get paid by the government to provide antenatal care to a pregnant woman, even if care is shared with a hospital where she is seen antenatally and delivered, and even if the community midwife delivers the baby. I would have liked to have more description about Doctor Bastible. Why did he stick to his decision about delivering you at home in spite of substantial risk to both mother and child? I thought you described your primary school well, and I especially liked how you wrote about its distinctive smell. I am so glad that you have a loving wife, and a good, life-long friend in Paul. Congratulations that you have achieved so much in Judo, and that it has become a way of dealing with your anger. As a former midwife, who is also now disabled with stubborn doctors, I would like to speak to you further about your delivery. Take Care, Carol

Hi Dean, I just read Chapter 7 and I think it's one of the most dynamic chapters, as it's full of sincerity and you've reflected your inner world in a strong manner. Thanks for sharing. Your story is full of vibe, feelings and analysis of life which draws me in like a magnet. Stay well for now, Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Dean, I stumbled across your book and simply had to read and comment. As others have stated, you write from the heart and with incredible passion. I've given you 6 stars and will put this on my shelf soon, I promise! And I cannot wait to read more - even though I've used about ten tissues so far! Best wishes, Dani

Hi Dean, Just finished reading up to chp 4 - and first of all I want to say that I think this has great potential. You have a story to tell, and do so in a style that feels completely from the heart and brings a sense of immediacy to your narrative. I liked the acknowledgments - it gives us a bit of insight in to who you are now, before the story takes us back to how 'it all began'. I think for this site, it might be an idea to put them in their own seperate chapter with a heading, but it's not essential. I see most of the comments mention grammar issues, and I did notice them, but I set that aside to just get into the story. All you need is a copy-editor to work with to sort out those details. What really grabbed me about this is that at no point did I ever feel any kind of self-pity in this - you write in a clear, strong voice - and your undertandable anger at that particular doctor and his colleague comes through with passion. I loved the details of your grandparents - the good and the bad - there was a great deal I could identify with here (I have working-class Irish background, and some of your relatives sound alot like some of mine!). Helen McAvoy sounds like a remarkable woman, it was no small thing back in those days for a woman to decide to leave her husband and go it alone, even if he was an alcoholic abuser. She must have been a really strong, determined lady. Patrick Kelly reminds me of both my great uncles - both Patricks (Uncle Paddys - lol). Your parents deserve nothing but respect for the way in which they coped - these days it's hard for people to understand how things were back then, even though it's not that long ago. I remember my own grandparents and parents never, ever even thought of questioning the wisdom and authority of someone like a doctor, or a priest. They were 'authority', and given far more respect than they often deserved. Chapter 4 gave a bit of 'light relief', depicting the beginnings of your friendship with Paul (and Barry) and how that helped you to be and feel normal - looking forward to reading more about the two of you. Overall, this is really good stuff - it's actually quite heart-wrenching, but you write it in such a matter-of-fact way. Keep going until you get it published - with an editor to work with to whip things into to shape, I can see it happening.. I'll keep reading, because I'd like to see how you've handled all this, and because after just 4 chp's of a biography I think it's too soon to comment on things like over-all structure. (I say this because I was wondering if you should rather save the references to the court case for later in the book, but have to wait and see how you've structured the later chapters.) wishing you all the best with this Kim The Seventh Gate

Nowadays it is unethical NOT to report doctors and nurses. It's called whistleblowing and we are encouraged to do it. Fortunately I've not needed to but I've heard some stories. I've read the first two chapters. At first I thought why would anyone be interested in reading somebody's life story? I read an old man's once and it was really waffly and boring. I didn't get past the first page. With yours, I will be definitely be reading til the end. Well done.

reviewed chap 3 - some edits needed and i'd be happy to make some suggestions as well... but this chapter warmed and broke my heart at the same time... i wish i had more to offer, but i'm not very knowledgeable on the subject of non-fiction sorry, Jaclyn It Never Happened

CWOG'd first chap This is a bit daunting... I really enjoy your pitch so I know a little bit about what's to come and I'm anxious to read more. I will make two suggestions thus far. 1. put your acknowledgements in it's own chapter at the very end of the book. I know they normally go at the front, but scrolling through it all looking for a start might deter people from continuing on 2. end your chapters with a big punch. I like that this would be a good place to stop... but if you end on a "duh duh duhhhh" moment, that encourages readers to continue to the next chapter... having that said, this strategy might not work for a non-fiction... it's just something to think about i guess. will read more later! Jaclyn It Never Happened My Life Without Me

Hi Dean, I just finished reading Chapter 4-5-6, and I'm glad to see that you keep your narratives as dynamic as possible. You've introduced Paul, your cousin and other people around you (including their parents) to help us visualize your surroundings and the circumstances. I like the way you describe your feelings and 6 stars remain! Best wishes, Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Hello, Dean First a few technical issues. I think you say somewhere you weren’t good at English but for your book to progress, you really need to get an English expert to fix up the errors because they are really detracting greatly from your writing. It just makes it that much harder to concentrate on the interesting story when errors pepper the page so much. Examples: Odd things like a capital on Ten. best at- working (hyphens attached to words). Commas missing quite often. That fine by me = that was fine by me (?) His lose not mine = his loss not mine. Newly born = newly-born Nor pay for by him = nor paid for by him Watch using all capitals for a whole sentence. Better to use italics for emphasis. 60’s = 1960s Rivitters = rivetters? Relivately = relatively I am wondering why your spell-checker did not show up misspellings like this? However, all that aside, you really are a natural storyteller and that is a tremendous asset, especially when writing from our own lives. Many people have stories to tell but they don’t know how to put them across (which is why so many celebrities have ghost-writers and such). You also have a sense of (black) humour, eg: “only so many pairs of old shoes and old clothes a household can burn in the fire” “luxury on an extended holiday” Sailor’s nickname funny little story; such tidbits add greatly to characters and the book’s appeal overall. It is always good to read about how people have succeeded in life after very inauspicious beginnings. I really urge you to get the errors fixed up since you are competing with so many other books which have been edited for grammar and punctuation. I think people would be interested in your story but no agent or editor will bother much past the first couple of paragraphs because of mistakes. I hope you see I am positive about your book’s worth. Best of luck and bye for now. Jane Mauret MALDIVES MUSLIMS ME

Hello Dean You have a compelling story to tell, and you should take some creative writing curses to tell it. All the best, Kathie Bondar

Hello Dean You have a compelling story to tell, and you should take some creative writing curses to tell it. All the best, Kathie Bondar

Dean, I read your whole manuscript over the last couple of days. I think you have an interesting story to tell. That said, as a reader, there are a few things I think could improve it quite a bit. I found the language of Rough Justice easy to read and easy to understand. Some sectsion were very well written and others not so much. There were a lot of spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors that need attention. It seems there may have been some errors while uploading, as the order of chapters seems out, and one of the chapters appears to be there three times. Having everything in chronological order would be nice. Seems to be a rather large chunk missing from almost teens to later adult life. The writing in capitals I think should be changed. Either just to normals text, or perhaps italicised. Through each chapter you often give your thoughts and feelings on what it is like to look back on it now, I think that could be better as a summary at the end of each chapter, and perhaps this will help you make sure you're not repeating sentiments too often. Overall, I found this an interesting read, and I wish you all the best as you continue to write and share your story. I hope that you are able to come to peace with your rough start in life. Tara Wife to Brett Adams, Dark Matter

Hi Dean, The more I read the more I respect and love Margaret and James Kelly...great parents, and strong people with hope. Your writing is honest and comes from the heart, as I'm glad to see that each chapter is written with emotions and you've successfully reflected them on the pages. Best wishes, Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Very intriguing life, and although you endured a lot you made it. It is worth to tell it, and encourage people who go through the same circumstances. I am almost certain that everyone knows someone who is disable. You have courage, a lot of it, and you went back to visit the school that you hated so much. Keep going you have a life that puts all of us to shame for complaining about little things in life. There are few typos, and, my opinion, good start so keep it chronological. Utilize commas and periods as well. For example the very first sentence, I made few minor changes with the necessary commas “It was a cold 3rd of February 1965 night, the wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains, the floor was cold, the walls were cold and damp, and the occupants of 90 Runfold Avenue were freezing. It was the kind of cold that got inside the morrow of the bones chilling every fiber of your being.” High stars of an extraordinary story. I will give you more feedback in the near future if you wish. Maria Midday Drawing

Very intriguing life, and although you endured a lot you made it. It is worth to tell it, and encourage people who go through the same circumstances. I am almost certain that everyone knows someone who is disable. You have courage, a lot of it, and you went back to visit the school that you hated so much. Keep going you have a life that puts all of us to shame for complaining about little things in life. There are few typos, and, my opinion, good start so keep it chronological. Utilize commas and periods as well. For example the very first sentence, I made few minor changes with the necessary commas “It was a cold 3rd of February 1965 night, the wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains, the floor was cold, the walls were cold and damp, and the occupants of 90 Runfold Avenue were freezing. It was the kind of cold that got inside the morrow of the bones chilling every fiber of your being.” High stars of an extraordinary story. I will give you more feedback in the near future if you wish. Maria Midday Drawing

Dean: Realclub review As one Kelly to another...I read your work some time ago and was impressed with your strength and piss and vinegar. (a familiar old saying) Seems to be you have been through hell and back and lived to tell the tale. I gave you high stars then and I give them to you now. I love the humor and the nerve you have to tell it. The best of luck Shirley Grace

Hi Dean, I just read the acknowledgements part and the first chapter to have an overall feel of ROUGH JUSTICE, and I have to say that I got hooked in immediately with your vibrant descriptions and sincere first person voice. The acknowledgement part at the beginning was good but please correct STUBBORNNESS (with a double n). These minor issues unfortunately become big issues when you present your book to a seasoned agent. The first chapter flows well, I liked your sense of giving some back-story of your mother and father in the '60's as well. Your narrative possesses a smooth structure and it's good that you started it with a chronological scale, since the day of your birth. I liked the authencity of your plot and the realism you injected into it, saying things the way they are -which adds a good quality and reads well. High stars and you're in my WL for further comments, Best wishes, Lucette Cohen Fins - Ten Deep Footprints

Wow. This is well written, captivating, heartbreaking and inspiring. You truly are amazing, both as a man and as a writer.

Dean I have read the first few chapters of your book and was captivated. Your story is heart-warming and heart-breaking. It is lightened by your wonderful sense of humour. I admire your strength in facing the extraordinary difficulties you have faced, but most of all, I admire your honestly. You do not pretend to be a perfect person, you admit your faults and readers can relate to you because of that. There are quite a lot of punctuation and grammatical errors in these chapters and I think it would be worth having someone help you edit your work so that the book reaches its full potential. This is a story that needs to be heard Best of luck with it. Kirstie

Dean, have just read the first 3 chapters, and I am very moved by your incredible story. The most tragic thing of all, it seems to me, is that your mother was deprived of the help she was fully entitled to, and as a result of this negligence by the doctors' concerned, you were born disabled. From day one, you have had to struggle to survive, but survive you did, and one of the most touching things about the way you have written your account of family and personal struggles is that you do so with not only a desire to see justice done, but with a cheeky sense of humour. Your spirit really shines through. I love your title by the way, and think it encapsulates your story perfectly. I'm giving this high stars, and look forward to reading more soon. David MASTER ACT: a memoir

Dean, Your story is both heart-breaking and uplifting. Heart-breaking, because the disabilities you were born with need not have happened and uplifting in the way you chose to battle against all the odds. You show true courage and a determined spirit that many of us are fortunate enough never to have to do. I found the 'thank you's' at the beginning both informative and extremely moving. You had a lot of 'good' people around you as you grew up, offering support. There is some classic humour on these pages - You point out that your parents were a perfect couple because they were both CELTIC FC supporters. I won't write everything that made me smile here but the humour was a good balance with so many sad facts. Youe write with honesty and you pull-no-punches (probably not the best phrase, given that you pulled a lot of punches in your life!). But I think you know what I mean. I have read to chapter 6 and hope you get justice in the end. A great read and story that deserves to be told. Some typos and grammer that need looking at but they really don't take anything from the story. YOUR story. Thank you for sharing it. Top stars and wishing you all the very best with it. Debbie

What a story, Dean! I commend your courage and strength. It is an amazing achievement to write this. You have a certain flair for expression, and this has potential to be worked into a commercial product, but it needs a lot of work and strong editing. You repeat yourself often and also over-explain at times (repeating the same thing in different words). Lots of sentences need reconstruction and ther are typos, grammatical errors etc. All of those can be fixed with editing. Also, the use of capital letters is ill-advised. Avoid them completely other than for the beginning of the first word in a sentence or a name. And although I admire you for acknowledging so lovingly all those you care for, the Dedication is far too long and will put many readers off reading further. That said, what you have achieved is truly impressive, and I salute you for exposing these ugly truths about the medical profession and the justice system. I agree completely that these things need to be revealed. Stories like yours must be told. For that reason, I hope you can revise it and have it edited so that it reaches publishable standard. Perhaps Harper True Life will take it up, as they have the writing staff to do that for you. I suggest you contact Harper True Life. They have a separate website on which you can give them a summary of your story. Best of luck with it. RaineyC The Pencil Case (also an expose of injustice)

Wow, Dean, this is a gripping read. It was sometimes hard to remember that this isn't fiction and I felt almost guilty for enjoying it because this is actually your life. You've done a great job with your descriptions and your overall narrative voice is very smooth and enjoyable. This could do with a good edit but even so, it didn't distract me and I found myself reading far more than I intended. There are some great one-liners throughout: The description of James McAvoy being called 'Sailor' because he was always pissed and Luxury being on an extended holiday - witty and very cleverly written. All the very best with this and I take my hat off to you for having the courage to document what you've been through because I don't think I'll ever be able to do it. Highly starred, well done.

Here goes with chapter two. You obviously have a flair for writing, the text gives just enough imformation regarding the birth and how badly your mother was treated. i found it easy to follow and for the most part the words flowed well. Here are my points 1) Watch the typos. 2) There are sentences that need restructured, look back over story and add in full stops and coma's wherever nessisary. 3) Have to mention the capitals, your writing is powerful enough without the capitals (same goes for exclamation marks. 4) Sometimes you can be repetetive, for example you mention your mothers height a couple of times. Instead of actually saying it you could say something like "Her tiny frame made childbirth difficult". I hope this helps, I really enjoyed reading this.

You are so brave to have written this. It takes a lot of courage to write your story, and I want to thank you for sharing it with me. You did something I could never do: relive nightmares of your past. That takes so much heart. I like how you conveyed your emotions. I think this was great and I am so sorry about things you have dealt with. But you had people there to love you and carry you on, and that is so important. Great story! Made me cry! Many stars! Racheal

Hi Dean, I read chapter 4 & 5. You recount an interesting and troubled childhood, it is interesting to me that through all the suffering you do pay credit to those who were supportive and caring (they do exist). Not wanting to offend; some of the swearing feels unessasary, it makes you appear angry and aggressive, when I am sure you just want to communicate your experience. I found it very interesting and I wish you good luck with it, you are a strong person who has overcome a great deal and I am sure others will find direction in your work and experience. Kind Regards and Best Wishes Lenny Banks Tiide and Time: At the Rock

Dean, I had to read "Rough Justice", as it is your autobiography. I saw a few word choice errors in the first chapter, but easily remedied. I love that you have made so much of your life, as you had many hurdles from birth. Your story is a wonderful reminder that no matter what circumstances we are dealt with in life, there are wonderful people such as yourself that overcome. Thank you for sharing your story. Morgan H xx

Dean, after reading every chapter of Rough Justice I have come to the conclusion that you are a one hell of a survivor! You certainly didn't have an easy time coming into this world, but you one of the lucky ones, Dean - you came from strong stock, Granddad Patrick Kelly being one. It was lovely to read how close you both were, and Mrs McAvoy, your Grandma. Now she sounded a wonderful woman, full of wisdom, teaching you for endless hours how to talk and walk when you were a small lad. She wasn't going to let cerebal palsy get in the way of her grandson going on to live a fulfilled life, in which you now have with your beautiful wife, Lil, by your side. Sounds like you've got a marriage made in heaven. I especially enjoyed reading about you and Paul's friendship from the time you were both nippers and that even today you're still like brothers. Lovely! Mind, I did laugh about you giving those kids who'd poked fun of you a bashing. I felt sorry for you hiding under the seat on the school bus feeling embarrassed that the bullies, if they saw you, would pick on you and call you names. Oh, it must have been terrible for you. Epilepsy : how could those teaches put you in a cold bath after having a seizure? How cruel. And that horrible physiotherapist abusing you like that. Just terrible. No wonder your childhood's affected you growing up - made you very angry on times, which then got you into lots of fights. I think even today you're probably still fighting the demons and all because you were unlucky to get Dr Bastible to deliver you. Never mind wanting him struck off, he should have been strung up by the neck. Destroying a baby's life, what an irresponsible man, with no regard for your mother's life or her newborn. But Dean, you've been very lucky in life though by having devoted parents in James and Margaret. I don't blame you as a lad kicking off, Dean, I really don't. The appalling way you were treated at that specialist school for children with disabilities was disgusting, but with the help from your family friends and lovely wife, you've turned out a very lovely guy. I wish you health and happiness in life. Connie xx Streets Apart

I hope that it will be of more help to you to comment on each individual chapter than to give an overall comment so here goes. I've been drawn in by the first chapter. I found it to be honest and entertaining (ie, what your father said to the pub landlord). I felt I could relate to your early life as we were born into harsh conditions too, and my father delivered milk from an early age in scotland. Also my fathers father sounds very similar to your mothers father. All these points made it more enjoyable for me. There are two points i would like to go through. I think things to this effect have already been said but there's no harm in repeating them 1) There are typos throughout the story, for example a 't' instead of 'to' and things like that. but its easy to fix that. 2) There are times when you put sentences in capitals. I think you should let the power of the words put your point across instead of using capitals as it can be a bit distracting. However I liked your style of writing and always admire people who are willing to share their own life through writing.

Hi, i actually did not think of the story as this way at all because of its cover, its true not to judge the book by its cover. A lot in it, to take from it. As i read along, there are things related to peopel i am aware of, but not everything to one person, as it is in yours. Good luck. Good book.

Hi Dean, I've been reading your book this weekend and I'm now on chapter 8. Respect to you, mate, this is great and you write with real grit and total honesty. I bet you get a publishing deal out of this. Fair enough, it will need tidying up, but it definitely needs to be heard. My friend's daughter was born with cerebral palsy due to medical negligence and after 23 years of fighting in the courts, they have just been awarded two million in compo. It's all split up between the mother and daughter, and certain amounts have to be used for housing and future care etc, but still, at last they have a result. Someone admitted guilt. I truly hope you have had some success in that area, Dean, and if not, then I hope something comes of this. You are obviously a born fighter, and fighters fight till the death. I have loved reading this and will read more of it. Well done Mate, I hope you feel very proud of it. Lots of love, Julie xxx

I'm back to read more of Rough Justice. We both have been through a lot

Rough justice. There is something special about a disabled person, and you're no exception. I'm particularly drawn by your loving acknowledgement of your family and friends. Ch.1. Do you want nits? There are some unnecessary / vague words which spoil the flow of a story, and could be searched out: just,almost, always. You wouldnt be on this site if you didnt want to get published, and dI've been told that editors abhor exclamation marks, calling them screamers! There are also some repetitions too close together, which could be easily remedied, like cold, money (Ch.4) such. Those were hard times, and you convey the feeling well. Chs. 2-3. Your mother was tiny! And yes, people are inclined to put far too much faith and trust in their doctors, who are all human after all - like us. My - it's a real wonder you survived! Ch.4. It is very often the case that those suffering the most hardships turn out to be the best people. My heart goes out to you, hiding under that blanket on your way to school, and I admire your guts and your courage. Thankyou for the inspiring read. Jane (Breath of Africa).

your book hit nerves. it resurrected ill-feelings concerning my son who was diagnosed with a lifetime medical condition.

Hi Dean, I saw you pitch and it grabbed my attention because my own parents lost their first baby through medical negligence. It's always fantastic to read about people who manage to overcome the trials that life throws their way and you've certainly had your fair share - more than. I'm sure a good editor or agent could really do something with this and I'll keep my fingers crossed that it happens for you. It's inspiring and these days, we could all do with a bit of that. All the best Melanie La Vie en Rosé

Hi Dean, Good job on your pitch, I really liked it! I will definitely give this a read (I have a few in front of yours) Beth Davis I Never Saw It Coming

Have you seen the film Unleashed? This reminded me of that film a little.

I love true stories particularly those which show triumph against all odds, yes perhaps a little editorially clunky but inspiring and the tweaks can be done later on - thank you for sharing your experience with us I look forward to reading more :)

Dean, your story is inspiring. Sorry it took me soooo long to read it. On holiday now and having time to catch up with my commitments. I'm sure there is a smart publisher out there who could turn this into a major winner. It would make a fabulous movie! Have you gone to the website agentquery.com? They have a search tool there that allows you to filter for agents who specialize in memoirs. Good luck with it and thanks for your past backing for my book, which is approaching the top 100! Amazing. May we both realize our dreams, friend... ~Gail (SECRETS WE KEEP)

Well, Deano, I'm impressed. This is the first book on Authonomy where the writing gets BETTER as it goes along, not worse! Yes, you know you need an editor and you're probably sick to death of hearing it, but from about chap 3 on, this story of childhood bravery against the most horrendous odds really moved me. I've got a friend, Simon, (one of my best mates actually) who experienced similar deprivation of oxygen at birth (his umbilical cord got wrapped round his neck) and who suffered similar neglect and abuse from an uncaring society. And of course, as you know from my book, my own childhood was blighted by the blatant cruelty of Jesuits and daily corporal punishment - nothing like what you experienced, but enough for me to really empathise with it. I've only read one other book on this site (Fran's 'Trapped') that has inspired me so, and I really want to see this out there - with some agents. I have a good editor who might be able to help? I'm giving you 6 stars, mate - both for your triumph of the spirit, and for some damn fine writing. Joe Kovacs Rupee Millionaires p.s. I think my school, St Ignatius Loyala, played rugger with your Cardinal Newman once. They were tough bastards. We lost.

Dean, I've read 6 chapters and I'm really interested in reading some more. My 24 year old brother was born at home, had several brain haemorrhages and now suffers with severe epilepsy, mild learning difficulties and cerebral palsy. I found Fran's book touching and I'm finding this equally heart wrenching. I'm not so bothered with grammar, structure, spelling - I'm interested in the story you have to tell. Thank you for sharing.

I could feel the cold and the poverty in your first chapter. Look forward to reading more of your book. Christine

Hi Dean! I finally got around to reading a few chapters of your story! You do need to find someone to edit your work... but that aside, it is wonderful! I see you at the computer as you wrote this, at times laughing out loud, and the tears and anger as you relived your story... both for yourself, your family and friends. Your story is incredible, honest and inspiring! Thank you for sharing it, and I am glad you have the verve and talent to write it! I'll be reading more... and will be putting you up on my shelf on my next rotation... hang in there and keep writing! Good luck with it, Jacque (Upside Down)

Dean, there are so few stories about CP in the public domain, that yours really does deserve to be heard. You have a wonderful turn of phrase, an immediacy, a wry sense of humour and an eye for the absurd, all of which help to lift the tone of your account well above mere complaint. But what is missing is a good edit, and a few thousand words extra. Can you find an editor who would help you with typos? It would make such a difference to the final version. Rated. All the best, hugs, Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" xxx :-)

Dean I've finally got round to reading 'Rough Justice' and found that I've read to Chapter 5 (I've only been interrupted because my young son wants the laptop/his breakfast/the remote control!!). The way you write makes it very easy to read. Being successful against all the odds is quite an achievement and you must be so proud of yourself. I used to do Karate so can appreciate the hard work that's gone into your success with Judo. I will definitely read more later. You deserve to have success with this. Jane (Jedye)

Dean, I won't pretend your first chapter was an easy read because of grammatical errors - but the bottom line it looks like you have an absorbing story of battling against the odds to be told here. If the story itself is strong enough, then there'll be people more than willing to do the editing on your behalf. What people want from a memoir is triumph against adversity - and I reckon a lot of people would want to read this precisely for that reason. I wish you the best of luck, and don't get swayed by some of the mean comments I've read about your writing from others. Nobody has the right to show such unpleasantness, so keep going with it and show how important the basic ingredient of a good story is. Pete

Firstly, thank you for the friend request, I feel honored that you'd ask. Secondly, you've painted quite a powerful story. I love true stories...yours is incredible. :-) On my WL for now. blessings, jim

This is so well written. You told your story in a way that kept me reading all that you uploaded. Good for you that you kept going and made it.

Dean, that was charming, utterly charming. Others here have pointed out some errors so I won't do that, besides, we all make them anyway. I don't read biographies or autobiographies as a rule, I feel that most of the time the writer/ghost-writer is just blowing their or someone else's trumpet a little too loud. Here, however, the trumpet is subdued enough to let you read and enjoy (even though you have a harsh story to tell) what you have experienced in life. I wish you the best of luck with this, Dean, and I'm sure everyone will too. ****** and backed. Lisa. xxx

Rough Justice Chap One. I am old enough to remember the early sixties, and you re-create them excellently. I lived in North of England then - and remember well houses such as you describe. MEMORABLE LINES {Luxury did not live at.....if it did it seemed to be on an extended holiday.} :-> { When he was sober James sailor Mcvoy was a good enough man but when was he ever sober?} I agree with Christian Rouge about grammar. Typos LONG PITCH - Doctors Bastibles medical negligence - should read Doctor Bastible's ... ACKNOWLEDGES should be ACKNOWLEDGMENTS. readers might skip this - but a publisher might be put off. You start by saying "I was a cold 3rd of Feb" instead of "It was a cold. (I did not spot this at first, so easy to overlook) That fine by me - should be That's fine by me. Chapter two midwife or midwives is correct , In one paragraph you write mid wives and another mid-wives. I some thirty years later - should be Some thirty years... or In some thirty years. Chapter three - should read "my two cousins were " rather than cousin's were. Did you mean to say walking and talking -, rather than talking and talking.

Compelling, your autobiography is one of the most compelling stories I have yet to read on Authonomy. As a martial artist myself (though no where near your stature) I couldn't help but be inspired your story. Plot wise, structure wise it makes sense and makes me want to read more. Grammar wise I stumbled a bit. The first sentence is really long and feels like a run-on. After titles such as Dr., Mrs., Mr., Ms. there should be a period. I didn't notice any, so I'm just bringing it up to help. I personally don't think you need to capitalize the entire word, for emphasis you might use italics rarely, but generally the words speak for themselves. If you over emphasize things the effect just isn't the same. Watch out for words in the middle of a sentence that don't need to be capitalized like at one point you had Ten months. It should just be ten months. Those are a few of the things things that stood out and would make this great story even better grammatically. Best of luck with! -Christian Rogue (Beastia)

Wow Dean, I think this is amazing. I have read it every spare minute this last week and I think you really have shown us an insight into your life. I think that you really have terrible treatment at the hands of so many people and you have managed to come through it the other side. Proud, positive, with your head held high, it shows that you really are made of strong stuff. Yes, there are some typos but I completely lost myself in the story. I thought you told it really really well. Full stars from me. Jules x

Rough Justice, Dean, I was absolutely engrossed with this autobiography. To have come into the world, after surviving an horrendous birth. leaving you with cerebral palsy and epilepsy - goodness me, if that wasn't enough, but then suffering as a little 'un when the evil teacher who should have been taking care of you put you through horrendous sexual abuse. It beggars belief! But you didn't lie back and let that wickedness win, you fought back!. And how did.you do that? Only by becoming a judo champion and a wonderful writer! I can't put this book down and I won't until I've finished all that you've put up. ******stars well deserved. Kat

Hi there, Judo man I got my ruler out and would have been coming down the line to give you a sharp slap, if I fitted. You can't have a typo in the first word of chapter one. It's just not on... crack! Edit, edit, edit and if that's not enough, edit again. This was excellent showing and not telling – the wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains – didn't have to say anymore about gaps or cracks in the windows, it was perfect. It just got lost in all the typos – slap! Don't tell me you haven't got time to edit – I'm not listening. I'm a mother of two teenagers and my hearing is very selective. What? Your voice comes over exceptionally well and is pleasant to read and I found I was connecting with you very quickly. Judoman – you've got an exceptional tale to tell... do it proud and do yourself proud as well. You've got as far as 187 in the charts and you're on HOW MANY bookshelves. I like the bit where you do capitals – drama queen! My favourite bits are when you slip in the extracts about life – like being a Scottish milkman. Lovely stuff and well worth reading. We used to make icecream out of the frozen cream from the top of the milk bottles by mixing it with custard powder. Yum... thanks for the memory. X You've hit the popularity stakes – now go the whole hog... edit, edit, edit or it'll just end up on an editor's slush pile. There's just too many mistakes for comfortable reading. You're on my watch list.... and I'll be watching for when you get your finger out. And I'll be watching over my shoulder for a glimpse of anyone remotely looking like they're wearing a black belt!

Dean, It was immediately evident that "Rough Justice" was straight from the heart and I found myself easily falling in step with your narrator. I think it would be a shame to alter your book in any way from its pristine, unadulterated state because that would be like trying to reshape a naturally formed pearl in an oyster's maw. However, in the interest of better readability a simple edit of grammatical glitsches and awkward phrasing would help. In any event, this is a powerful book that moved me deeply. Kenneth Edward Lim The North Korean

Dean...Ive been reading this all day, because I wanted to finish it. It is a deeeply personal look into your own life and the trials and trivilations that have taken place since before you were even born. The voice in this is strong, refreshingly honest, emotional, tough and brutal but in its raw state this is a compelling read. Yes its your story, yes people will pick it apart, tell you it need editing, grammar and all of that but this is your story, its how life has been, its your fight and therefore should be told in your style. Why conform, you've never conformed 1 day in your life so why should your work conform now. Yes ok you could change things about, tighten it up in places, but then so could everyone !! And really we are not here to discuss every comma and full stop but the journey you found yourself on !! Your story is different, your writing is different... let it breathe on its own. It stands tall as a slap in the face to every one in power that has EVER wronged you. It sets the story straight. There is too much cover up from doctors these days and still goes on to this day, we are still fighiting to get the NHS pay for treatments they have longed deemed not necessary and that as a terminal patient I should accept second best. Let this stand as a reminder to people Dean, that the world isnt always roses and chocolates, sometimes you have to fight for everything you have. All my love clair xx

Dean, This is a very personal story. I think for publishing purposes it would be better to have an editor look at it and maybe even someone else write it out from you notes. You can feel the emotion you have put down in every word of this story and it is for this reason that your purpose may not be fully met with the way that you have written it. When you are recounting peripheral stories you narrative voice is gripping and you pull the reader right into the middle of the focus of the story. I just think that it is still too fresh and raw for you give it the space to tell it. Just my opinion.... :) Diane

I like your book and your writing, and its refreshing to have a "voice" that isn't literary but more basic and down to earth, but I think you ramble a bit and your writing is a bit disjointed. Also you let your bitterness? or anger? show through a bit in parts which can be a bit offputting. It makes the writing a bit of a vengeful diatribe at times, rather than an emotive autobiography. That said I think you may have one problem when marketting the book, which is that these days the "Misery-Lit" or "Inspirational biography" has become a genre within itself and you will need something special that sets it apart from the "average" book in this area. My hook is that I actually have copies of the secret records kept on me, (Some of which state on them I'm not suppossed to be told about them, which they then gave me a copy of.) you need to find something that sets your book above and aprt form others to make the publishers or agents take notice or interest in it. I have no idea what in your past history you can find that will give your book that "special something". Apart form that I just think you need to sit done a work out a chapter plan (or story plan) of your entire book form start to finish, write it and go through a few re hashes and re-edits until you are finally happy with it. Enough to present to a publisher or agent. (PS. My father used to be a registered Spiritual Healer at one point in his life, and there are indeed people who swear by it, compared to the mucking about they get from the NHS.)

Dean - Just an idea - I think this needs to be wrote in third person ... but no need to listen to me - what do I know? Try this - 'Rough Justice is a true tale of medical negligence, a cover up and unbelieveable legal struggle. On the 5th June 1965, Dean John Keely was born and was horribly neglected by doctors - as a result he went on to develop celebral palsy and epilepsy ... I'll complete blurb for you if you want - or leave it as it is! Best, Alison :)

Hi Dean, I really enjoyed your no waffle, straight to the point writing style. It make the story very easy to read. This is my favourite style for a biography. I felt a bit like we were sitting at the kitchen table having a cup of tea while you chatted about your story. There is a little bit of work to be done on the technical side. Some better placed punctuation would help the flow run more smoothly. Please don't think I'm criticising, I'm not. I think you are a brilliant story teller and once you iron out the little typos this will be a super read. Best of luck, Janny

Hi Dean You've been on my shelf for a while - and deservedly so. This is an inspiring story, strongly told. Well done, sir. PJ

Ch.1 1st sentence should be "It was a cold..." and there should be a comma after 'night' in that sentence. It's a very long sentence that you may want to consider breaking in two. I noticed this a lot in your writing. I think you should rework it so there are paragraphs. Besides really long sentences, the main problems I saw were punctuation and there were a few gramatical and spelling typos. I'm a little short on time today, but I took note of a few instances I thought would benefit from change, so here's how I think they should be: 1. The condensation had loosened the wallpaper and the damp blackness that clung to the walls meant that it would never be able to be stuck back. 2. The cupboards, whilst clean in the main, were all too often empty; the nicer things and luxuries of life belonged to someone else, because they certainly did not exist in 90 Runfold Avenue. 3. I think I have only gotten worse. This is merely suggestion, so take what you want and leave the rest. I hope it helps. Judging by your pitch and your first chapter, I think you've got a good story to tell, just needs polishing up a bit, as all our stories do. Best of luck to you. Starred. :) I hope you can find the time to take a look at my book of children/YA stories and if there happen to be any children in your life, I'd love their opinions as well. Have a great day! God bless, Trista

As Steve Irwin would have said: Crikey! If this isn't an inspiring story and a sign of how obstacles are there to be overcome then I don't know what is. I've come across a lot of autobiographies but this isn't some overwrought melodrama, it's engaging (no judo-related pun intended!), beautifully depicted and an excellent story. Best of luck, Dean, I hope you do well. Backed with pleasure. Jack H

Backed Rough Justices. We need people to share their life stories. It gives us courage to work through our own life problems. We found your story compelling and told in a way all readers can relate too. We have found Authonomy a valuable tool authors can use to improve their writing. We have used the suggestions and comments we have gotten from readers to revise our book three times. If grammar, punctuation, capitalization, etc. is not your thing (most authors have trouble in this area) find someone to help you proof and edit. This leaves you free to write. I notice you used the word cold several times in the first paragraph. A thesaurus makes a handy composing tool when you need to find another word to keep from sounding repetitious or boring. Suggestions for when you revise. 1. First paragraph needs to be broken into several smaller sentences. Also we believe you meant to type the word “It” instead of “I” as the first word of the paragraph. Possible rewrite for the first paragraph might be…… It was a frigid third day of February in the year 1965. The night wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains. The floors was icy and the walls were cold and damp. The occupants of 90 Rumfold Avenue were freezing. It was the kind of cold that gets inside the marrow of your bones, chilling every fiber of your being. CC Brown

Judo-man, I read 7 chapters of your book, which is more than the 3 or 4 that I usually do. I think in chapter 1 you have overused the word, cold, and you should use other words to convey the same message. Like frigid, icy, etc,. I also think your book could use copy editing as I observed numerous typos and errors, including "his lose", which should be his loss. Is Glasgow really Port Glasgow, as Craig Ferguson is from there and he never uses the word port? In chapter 2, your use of the medical fraternity for the covering up of your mother's poor maternal health care was effective. When referring to a severally handicapped child, it would be more enlightening to specify the limitations. I love the honesty on the Catholic School dogma. The urination scene is powerful and I can relate to having had an insensitive control-freak teacher or two, including my first grade one, who refused to allow me to go to the bathroom. (Mrs. Ericksen you bitch). In chapter 7 you are missing the preposition in the sentence, I got locked I a store cupboard, should be in a store cupboard. Your book is very angry and that can be off putting for some. Perhaps if it were balanced with some happy times or humorous incidences? Congratulations on your judo achievements! Best of luck with your health issues. Your book intimates on one of the important issues in health care, which is how a health policy incentive (paying for home births) in this case caused an adverse consequence resulting in patient harm. But it also reflects on the UK tort system which makes it difficult for the individuals to bring actions against others, much more so that in the USA. So in this case, the doctor did not appear to fear a malpractice suit. I have rated it and will put it on my watchlist, but I think you still have some work to do on this memoire. Roberta

A very moving, well written biography which needs to be heard in the interests of justice. You have a "straight to the point" writing style which is easy to read and enables the reader to empathise from the very beginning. Good luck with this book. Yours Bea

I read the first two chapters and it struck me that you need to tell this story for your own sake, so perhaps the most important thing about it is already achieved and should give you great satisfaction. Then there's the questions of whether it works as a book for a wide audience and whether it can be improved. The pitch shows that this is a true story of an amazing life, well worth the writing in subject matter, and you create characters, situation and details of the time (the 60s) and the place with an intensely personal voice that engaged me from the start. I think you should avoid putting words all in capital letters, which you do quite often, as this is like shouting at your reader and you don't need to do this to make me feel the emotion of what you're telling me. I like the honesty, energy and choice of detail. 'They were the perfect couple. Both Roman Catholics from Scotland, both working class and both Celtic FC supporters.' gives me an instant picture of this couple. Your punctuation is not good but the book reads aloud well, which means that any competent Editor could correct your punctuation (and spelling mistakes). That is just a technical job that many people could do for you but no-one else has a personal voice and story to tell like yours. As far as I'm concerned, the technical errors do interfere with reading your story but not enough to prevent the strength of the story itself coming through. I have a couple of suggestions for improvement on what I've read. I don't like the 'witness statement' from the grandmother and I'd prefer this if it was incorporated into the telling of the story, so that you use all your witnesses' information to tell the story in a natural way. If you prefer, you could say, 'When X talked about that day, later, she said .... ' but at the moment it's dropped in like a testimony in a police trial and I don't think it suits the narrative style of your autobiography. For the same reason, I don't like the paragraph giving your information from 30 years later. It feels like it's just dropped into the story. I think you need to link it more smoothly to what went before. As I found out 30 years later, the doctor was probably drunk at the time, this being rumoured to be the usual case...' I completely understand you wanting to express your outrage but I'd cut those direct expressions of feelings because you've shown how disgusting it is, so you can let us feel that without having to hammer us with it. It's more powerful to make the reader feel something than to tell them, so I don't think you need to call the doctor 'the bastard' for us to feel he is, as you present him. I think your story would be of interest as a newspaper article to e.g. the Daily Mail, which seeks stories of triumph over adversity. Perhaps you've already told your story in newspapers but maybe not up to date, and maybe not with reference to writing a book on it. Of course you want the truth to be told, a dn a way of expressing your bitterness about the hospital system, but I shouldn't think you want a lawsuit for defamation of character because of the way you write your book, so I think you need legal advice on what you can write about real people. Writing an article for a newspaper or journal would help you with this. I know it's easy these days to post whatever you want online but the laws are there for a reason and you'll achieve more, in my opinion, if you work within them. If you want publication, you want to be sure that anything you write is factually accurate or that a rumour is decsribed as a rumour, not as a fact. A publisher might not mind being contraversial, but would definitely not want to face a lawsuit, or even face the hassle of an enraged group of workers (everyone who works in hopsitals, potentially) Do you really believe all hospitals are bad and all doctors are criminals? Get a good editor to correct all the errors in punctuation and spelling, and to show you how to improve your own written correctness. Perhaps that English teacher who believed in you wouldn't mind running through your manuscript. And I love the title and idea for 'Ladies' Night' - what great potential. Write it! Jean Gill Song at Dawn

Hi Dean You have a compelling story here, and true life stories do well on Autho. The only downside is that there's not much that I feel able to comment on, as this is a personal story to you. It's very emotional, and it's very raw. I do however think that it needs to be polished in terms of editing out typos etc, but once this has been done, this will be a very compelling and inspiring story, whether you're trying to get it published or just getting your feelings down on paper. In either case, thank you for such a compelling read, and kudos to you for putting it up on here. Given you five stars - the only reason it's not six is because of the need for editing. Silva x

So many people have said good things about Rough Justice that I wanted to read it, but I'm afraid I can't. Your story sounds interesting, but I'm really sorry, I just can't fight through the misspelling and typos and incorrect punctuation to find the story. I do apologize. If you go through it with an eye for copy editing, please let me know, as I would like to hear about your story. Best wishes.

Dean, I first want to say that you have incredible courage and determination. To be able to write about your life and all you've been through is commendable. By reading through, I feel many will be inspired by your will to never give up. It was difficult to read the heart wrenching tale, but again, the love and support of the family is wonderful....well with the exception of 'Sailor'. After all you've been through, I believe you've won in life, with having much love and support. I see others have commented on structure, grammar and punctuation..I believe with a good editing, the flow and ease will draw the reader into this intimately told story. There are paragraphs which can be combined, eliminating repeated descriptions, to punch the story along at a more even pace. There are some tense and spelling errs here and there...but because this is an autobiography, people will be drawn by the pure heart n soul it is written with. All my best, Wendy 'And When'

A very hard to read story because of the treatment of such an innocent beings character.But a very inspiring story. Very exceptional. Although very sad at parts to read. I am glad that you have found the courgae to let us all read your story. Keep it up and thank you for sharing with all of us.

Hey Dean, for some reason chapters 19 and 20 are tagged onto the end of chapter nine. Might need to go in and delete that. :) Your story is an inspiration to others, however, if I had met you on the streets anywhere in the nineties I would have thought you were a complete headcase!! Fighting for the hell of it? I would have had kittens. LOL Having said that, as a good catholic I cannot in all conscience not say that this is a really easy to read story. Oh and Lil is a very lucky woman to have you too, and I am quite sure she knows it. :) Millie C Crown of Thorns

Please forgive me for only commenting on structure, grammar, form, etc. This isn't my preferred genre so I won't comment on content. "The year was 1965. It was a cold 3rd of February and that night the wind was doing its best to rearrange the curtains. The floor was cold, the walls were cold, and the occupants of 90 Runfold Avenue were quite literally freezing. There were only so many pairs of old shoes the family could burn in the fire to keep the cold out. Winter crept deep into the marrow of the bones, chilling every fiber. it curled the edges of the linoleum floor that had seen better days,and spread dampness across every wall in the house. Condensation loosened the wallpaper, black mold clinging to the walls in its place." Does this help? If so, I'll continue.

My sister was born with the cord around her neck and became disabled. She walks on her tiptoes. She was offered an op but it could have gone wrong quite easily and left her in a wheelchair permanently. Always had the greatest admiration for people who never give up and go on to inspire and help others. Good luck with this, it deserves a wider audience.

What a fighter! Sad to hear at the end your case for compensation was lost, horrified by Michael Mansfields statement that you might not wake up. But totally inspired that you have managed to put it all in writing. I might be wrong, but for this alone, I think you'd probably have trouble getting a mainstream publisher to touch it, though not certain. The teenage Dean, reminds me so much of George and how he is now. He does seem to think that fighting is the way forward (although the poor little sod talks about it all the time, he never fights) He's always coming home saying he's gonna punch someone or other. Maybe it's his way of dealing with stuff. He's destined to be 6ft 9in - at fifteen he barely clears the doorway. He is as strong as an ox, and I hope he doesn't get too violent for his own sake. He's a lovely kid and I'd hate to see him get into bother or do someone damage. I fought for years to try and bring a case, but legal aid only goes as far as causation. They put George's problems down to cytomegolavirus, even though I was there when he was born and saw his heart fade to nothing, even though the cord was twice round his neck, even though they lost the records! It's bollocks, it really is. I just hope George meets his own Lil one day, and they live a happy life. Wishing you all the very best, Dean. Sue x

Hi Dean, I've just read through to chapter five, and as promised, I'll continue to the end. I remember talking to you about this book after you read A Boy Called George. Your family sound so much like ours. As George's grandmother, we too have a great relationship, as you and Mrs McAvoy. It makes me sick that the health authorities are still doing the same thing now that they were in the 60's - losing records, covering up negligence etc. I often wish I could get all the parents together and march to Downing Street and demand they find them. It's still the same old story. Lose the records and there is nothing to answer to. I agree to a certain extent about the importance of sending a disabled child to mainstream school. It did George the world of good. The authorities kinda put pressure on us - making us feel as if we weren't giving him the best chance, so when he was 8, we gave in, and it was the worst year of his life. It turned him into some angry boy! Totally changed his personality for years to come. We got him back into mainstream, where he was happy for a few years, but he just couldn't cope with secondary, and now has an easier life at a nice special school where they don't bother too much about the curriculum, but teach life skills. George is 15 now and can still get quite angry, and recently, a couple of so called friends locked him in the tennis courts and left him for a couple of hours. I was so mad, I had visions of locking them in the boot of the car and see how they fucking liked it! I'm gonna read on...

Firstly – being so close to my family I completely understood the emotion you have for your family. They play such a big part in our lives. Second – I smiled when I read about your friend Bryan as it reminds me so much of my two older brothers who also left a name in our old home town. Always causing some kind of trouble everywhere they went ;). And lastly – Amen to the bastard Policeman, but I do believe that the wheel does turn, so I am sure he got his day. I will continue to read and comment on my outlook of the book. Green h

Dean, I admire anyone who has the courage to share their private life with the public. This is a harrowing account and an inspiration to others that life's trials can be overcome. I look forward to reading more of Rough Justice. Walden Carrington Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

Okay Dean so you know what I am going to say, there are lots of niggly errors in this. A couple of words with missing letters, some words ingeneously misspelled. However, the story, the sentiment, the reason for being a book at all, make all of this seem negligible. I felt the power of his faith in the family, his strength and his determination to get justice and to succeed. There were some nice descriptive paragraphs. Well done...you have my respect and when this is edited tightly, you will go on my shelf. Until then, good luck with it and I have starred it. Millie C Crown of Thorns