This completely transported me to another place, a wonderous magical world where the stories of the Haida come to life. It's like modern day folklore. And the writing is so vivid. Shorter chapters, broken up at points of tension, could speed up the pace a bit. Loved it. I'll back it for sure. Brian Bandell Famous After Death

Books that capture a place or a culture are some of the best, and most important, on the shelves. And Windsongs (formally Raven's Lament) easily falls into that category. It’s literally dripping in Native American culture. There’s a real sense of place painted onto its pages, and also adventure. It’s difficult to describe how I felt, a feeling others will share, as I read the posted chapters here. It was like I was traveling along with the colorful characters. I could see the river, the forest – feel the wind on my face. I have not felt like that since the first time I read Tom Sawyer. Author Frank Talaber is a master storyteller, with all that it entails. He brings us right down to the level of the characters and invites us to travel along. He shows us the world and lets us see it through his character’s eyes. And he’s done his research and gotten his facts correct too, which is a literary cherry at the top of this wonderful treat. I see that Windsongs is on Smashwords. As soon as my wife gets home with her e-reader, I plan to sit back and enjoy the entire story, as I’m sure many other readers will in the future. This is a good book, and also, I believe, an important one. It deserves to be read. John Breeden II Old Number Seven

Hi Frank, I read until the end of Chapter 3 to be able to provide you my thoughts along with my first impressions. Your book is simply transforming. I felt like I was with the characters the whole time. Your descriptions, the premise and the core concept of the book is very sophisticated. You know how to weave a spider web for sure! I liked the way you injected your remarkable characters into the plot. Brook, Gordon, Prince Kiidkayaas, Raven, Georgina, Tom Wilson, Charlie Stillwaters, Chelen, Haida and Henry...they all added a lot to the story, and you introduced them in sufficient portions for the beginning. Your writing style is professional and easy to follow. High stars and looking forward to see how the story will unfold from here. Best wishes, Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Thanks I appreciate it. Frnak[QUOTE] Frank I have read chapter 4. Beautifully written with an impressive ability to write blending the old and the new. There is the modern thread to this with Brook having broken up with Georgina and returning home. Then there is the wonderful myth and folklore of the Haida. You manage to weave the two together along with your descriptions of the natural world. There is a strong sense of Brook having had an unhappy childhood in this chapter. A good pull to want to to read more to find out what happened. I particularly liked your reference to Georgina's new man having 'pockets as deep as Niagra Falls'. There is much to like in this - Brook's story, Chelen's story and the traditions and myths of the Haita. You have a knack of getting the historical information across without it becoming text book-like. The sense of conflict between the old and the new ways gives this story texture and a real sense of time and place. Glad I returned to read some more. Top stars Debbie [ENDQUOTE]

Frank I have read chapter 4. Beautifully written with an impressive ability to write blending the old and the new. There is the modern thread to this with Brook having broken up with Georgina and returning home. Then there is the wonderful myth and folklore of the Haida. You manage to weave the two together along with your descriptions of the natural world. There is a strong sense of Brook having had an unhappy childhood in this chapter. A good pull to want to to read more to find out what happened. I particularly liked your reference to Georgina's new man having 'pockets as deep as Niagra Falls'. There is much to like in this - Brook's story, Chelen's story and the traditions and myths of the Haita. You have a knack of getting the historical information across without it becoming text book-like. The sense of conflict between the old and the new ways gives this story texture and a real sense of time and place. Glad I returned to read some more. Top stars Debbie

Read the first four chapters of Windsong. Enjoyed the poetic narrative approach to developing scene and character description and the expansive flow of the plot. The author has constructed the story in such as way as to engage the reader through his seductive writing style. I found myself becoming involved with the challenges the protagonists face. When this work in complete to the watershed 80,000 word novel length threshold, it will make for a cover to cover enthralling read. Highly starred. Clive Radford Doghouse Blues

Hi DJ Thanks very much. I'll give your book a read this weekend and let you know. Frank [QUOTE] Hi Frank I have read your prologue and chapter one and these are my comments. I loved the poetic flow to your prologue. The descriptions of the coast and the forest were so vivid you could almost smell the leaf litter. The second chapter explored some complex themes of conservation and direct action. As my book comes with a profit pledge for Greenpeace it was interesting to have the Greenpeace link. The chopping down of the sacred Golden Spruce was heartbreaking. The linked myth about Raven was so well placed and realistic. I also liked your tackling of the subject of artifact repatriation from collections. A great tale, highly starred and remaining on my watch list. D.J the Ghost Shirt golden spruce [ENDQUOTE]

Hi Frank I have read your prologue and chapter one and these are my comments. I loved the poetic flow to your prologue. The descriptions of the coast and the forest were so vivid you could almost smell the leaf litter. The second chapter explored some complex themes of conservation and direct action. As my book comes with a profit pledge for Greenpeace it was interesting to have the Greenpeace link. The chopping down of the sacred Golden Spruce was heartbreaking. The linked myth about Raven was so well placed and realistic. I also liked your tackling of the subject of artifact repatriation from collections. A great tale, highly starred and remaining on my watch list. D.J the Ghost Shirt golden spruce

Thanks I've worked and worked that opening scene and prelude more times than planters has peanuts and cod liver has oil and almost as much as Bugs Bunny has carrots. I appreciate the feedback. Now to get to your book. Frank [QUOTE] Frank The opening diary entry is full of beautiful prose. Some lovely imagery set around the ocean. A real contrast to the end of this entry with the dying man. I like the way you have Brook struggling to get over the break up with Georgina and the mythical element all woven into one. It makes for a powerful storyline, intermingled with totems and legends of the land. Some great lines 'silent faces full of voices' and ' and for the first time in nearly 150 years, he cried out' The scene when the Raven kills Gordon after he has felled the Golden Spruce is powerful. You succeed in pulling together, nature and myth in what promises to be a wonderful story. High stars and wishing you all the best with this. Debbie 'Speedy McCready' [ENDQUOTE]

Frank The opening diary entry is full of beautiful prose. Some lovely imagery set around the ocean. A real contrast to the end of this entry with the dying man. I like the way you have Brook struggling to get over the break up with Georgina and the mythical element all woven into one. It makes for a powerful storyline, intermingled with totems and legends of the land. Some great lines 'silent faces full of voices' and ' and for the first time in nearly 150 years, he cried out' The scene when the Raven kills Gordon after he has felled the Golden Spruce is powerful. You succeed in pulling together, nature and myth in what promises to be a wonderful story. High stars and wishing you all the best with this. Debbie 'Speedy McCready'

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Frank [QUOTE] Damn Frank -- this writing is as tactile as a 1955 T-Bird. Very nice descriptions, good dialogue, a thinking man's book but one that can be read entirely for pleasure. Godd work. Michael Arkin Judicial Indiscretion [ENDQUOTE]

Damn Frank -- this writing is as tactile as a 1955 T-Bird. Very nice descriptions, good dialogue, a thinking man's book but one that can be read entirely for pleasure. Godd work. Michael Arkin Judicial Indiscretion

Raven's Lament Usual disclaimer: this is one person’s subjective view. Short Pitch: very good Long Pitch: I would drop all those questions and go with the main paragraph –and I would edit that a bit too. It could use tightening up, pitches need to be short and sharp. You have set up a very interesting contrast here. It’s visible in that prelude for example with your MC encountering the mythical set in the raw present. I liked this approach very much. Your language begins poetically and sets that scene in a way that draws the reader in. I certainly wanted to go there straight away. As to the progression through the prelude I felt just a little lost as your MC “flipped through the pages of his journal”. I personally needed just a tad more context to see what he was up to. I also felt you could re-visit those first two or three paragraphs because they are slightly overwrought. Nice to get the Haida beleifs as we go through. The idea of beings emerging from the ancient tree is nice. You handle that well. One could feel the tension begin to rise. Your otherwise sure voice strays here and there. For example: “Which was okay since it helped take his mind off her and the serenity of Ninstints helped him sleep”. There are two clearly different ideas in this sentence yet the conjunction conflates them. It should be two sentences really

Thanks very much. I'm interested in how you came upon this book. But in any case thanks again Frank [QUOTE] This is beautifully done. Brave in the use of native myth. A refreshing break from homeric myth, which you touch on. [ENDQUOTE]

This is beautifully done. Brave in the use of native myth. A refreshing break from homeric myth, which you touch on.

Thank you very much. Frnak [QUOTE] Frank, How refreshing to see a book with Canadian content being displayed on an international venue. It's been a while, and you've stepped up to the plate. You vividly capture the haunting beauty of the West Coast in your opening scene which offers solace to your MC suffering from lost love and counting the days since the loss. I can see why "Raven's Lament" was well received by Harper Collins editors, and would like to congratulate you on such an amazing feat. Kenneth Edward Lim The North Korean [ENDQUOTE]

Frank, How refreshing to see a book with Canadian content being displayed on an international venue. It's been a while, and you've stepped up to the plate. You vividly capture the haunting beauty of the West Coast in your opening scene which offers solace to your MC suffering from lost love and counting the days since the loss. I can see why "Raven's Lament" was well received by Harper Collins editors, and would like to congratulate you on such an amazing feat. Kenneth Edward Lim The North Korean

Thank You Frank [QUOTE] What a beautifully written book! One of the best I've read on this site. The imagery is breathtaking; the story flows easily and draws the reader in. The only suggestion I would make is changing the protagonist's thoughts to italics rather than underlined. Backed with pleasure and starred at the highest rating. Meg Wearing A Shamrock on the Prairie [ENDQUOTE]

What a beautifully written book! One of the best I've read on this site. The imagery is breathtaking; the story flows easily and draws the reader in. The only suggestion I would make is changing the protagonist's thoughts to italics rather than underlined. Backed with pleasure and starred at the highest rating. Meg Wearing A Shamrock on the Prairie

HI Carolina Al Thanks for the feedback, appreciate it. I'm confused about Authonomy 1 and 2? What is this? I didn't know there was more than one authonomy website. Frank [QUOTE] I read Authonomy 1 and 2. General comments: A captivating start. A sympathetic, energetic main character. Awesome world building. Lyrical narrative. Evocative imagery. Atmospheric. Excellent tension. Good pacing. Specific comments on Authonomy 1: 1) ' ... his razor edged beak gleaming menacingly. Technically, 'his' refers to the human. 2) ' ... the true love that bound him to another.' 'That' should be 'who.' Use 'that' for objects. Use 'who' for people. There are more cases in these chapters where 'that' is used when 'who' is appropriate. 3) Good end of chapter hook. Specific comments on Authonomy 2: 1) 'Overhead the tree teetered, groaning under its own weight, protesting its demise' Period after 'demise.' 2) ' ... but this felt like killing a living being.' Try to avoid using the word 'felt.' Just describe his feeling so vividly the reader will experience it along with Gordon. When you do this, the reader will be drawn deeper into your story. 3) 'Remorse filled his heart' is telling. Consider showing Gordon's remorse so realistically the reader will experience it along with Gordon. When you do this, the reader will be more deeply involved in your scene. 4) ' ... when the Haida were dying of with smallpox, .... ' 'Of' should be 'off.' 5) 'There was no place to no except into the water.' The second 'no' should be 'go.' 6) "Goodbye Mother." Comma after 'goodbye.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with a comma. There is another case of this type of problem in this chapter. 7) Another good end of chapter hook. I hope this critique helps you further polish your all important first chapters. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest. Thank you for supporting "Savannah Fire" at this critical time. Have a marvelous day. Al [ENDQUOTE]

I read Authonomy 1 and 2. General comments: A captivating start. A sympathetic, energetic main character. Awesome world building. Lyrical narrative. Evocative imagery. Atmospheric. Excellent tension. Good pacing. Specific comments on Authonomy 1: 1) ' ... his razor edged beak gleaming menacingly. Technically, 'his' refers to the human. 2) ' ... the true love that bound him to another.' 'That' should be 'who.' Use 'that' for objects. Use 'who' for people. There are more cases in these chapters where 'that' is used when 'who' is appropriate. 3) Good end of chapter hook. Specific comments on Authonomy 2: 1) 'Overhead the tree teetered, groaning under its own weight, protesting its demise' Period after 'demise.' 2) ' ... but this felt like killing a living being.' Try to avoid using the word 'felt.' Just describe his feeling so vividly the reader will experience it along with Gordon. When you do this, the reader will be drawn deeper into your story. 3) 'Remorse filled his heart' is telling. Consider showing Gordon's remorse so realistically the reader will experience it along with Gordon. When you do this, the reader will be more deeply involved in your scene. 4) ' ... when the Haida were dying of with smallpox, .... ' 'Of' should be 'off.' 5) 'There was no place to no except into the water.' The second 'no' should be 'go.' 6) "Goodbye Mother." Comma after 'goodbye.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with a comma. There is another case of this type of problem in this chapter. 7) Another good end of chapter hook. I hope this critique helps you further polish your all important first chapters. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest. Thank you for supporting "Savannah Fire" at this critical time. Have a marvelous day. Al

Thanks for the feedback, Ross This came very close to being published with Harper Collins a few years ago (before they went to the Authonomy format) and in the final acceptance was voted unanimously. It needed a full vote to pass. I call this Urban Fantasy, but it does pass between Literary and mainstream. It is currently ebook published in Smashwords where you can read it entirely if you like. I've thought about the prologue and have an alternative beginning. Might use that someday. I forgot about the underlining, it is what editors use for underlining. Probably should go back and change them. But thanks for the input, I appreciate your honest feedback. Frank [QUOTE] - Raven's Lament - (Based on the prologue and chapters 1 and 2) This is certainly one of the more original pieces of writing I’ve come across on the site and I’d be hard-pressed to pigeonhole it into any particular genre. In turns, it seems to cut across literary fiction (very literary in the prologue), fantasy, thriller, and crime novel. It’s a rare achievement indeed but one that makes me wonder about marketability a little. I have absolutely zero knowledge of these things but I can imagine publishers might shy away from something if they don’t know exactly where they would put it in a book store. That being said, what we do have here is a very imaginative and well written piece of fiction that belies excellent knowledge of native American culture in a most intriguing way. There are nice overhanging themes of loss (in terms of a relationship) and man’s relationship to the natural world as well. The fantasy element, in terms of the Raven, is well executed. Come to think of it, we also get into the horror genre a little there too.... The writing as a whole feels very polished – I didn’t spot any typos for instance – and tight. To be incredibly pedantic, the German word for ‘yes’ is given as ‘ya’ in chapter one where it should be ‘ja’. I also wondered about the underlining of portions of text throughout. This distracted me a little, I must admit. I do have some question marks hanging over me as regards the prologue. Firstly, it did seem more poetic than the rest of the text and I wondered whether it really fits. I liked that sense of loss/man at one with nature in it, but would that be lost if the prologue weren’t there? I’m only raising it as a question, not saying I have the answer. Secondly, I did feel the first few paragraphs were overly ‘wordy’ in places though. “….everything we know now blurs with that soundless shifting of spirits from dimensions long thought ethereal,” is pretty hard to picture in the first few lines. Those were just a few questions I would raise, from my know-nothing, novice writer point of view. Overall, I found this to be a skilled piece of writing. It’s been playing on my mind since I read it earlier today. I’m very impressed with it indeed. I’m going to think about it some more…. All the best with it, Ross [ENDQUOTE]

- Raven's Lament - (Based on the prologue and chapters 1 and 2) This is certainly one of the more original pieces of writing I’ve come across on the site and I’d be hard-pressed to pigeonhole it into any particular genre. In turns, it seems to cut across literary fiction (very literary in the prologue), fantasy, thriller, and crime novel. It’s a rare achievement indeed but one that makes me wonder about marketability a little. I have absolutely zero knowledge of these things but I can imagine publishers might shy away from something if they don’t know exactly where they would put it in a book store. That being said, what we do have here is a very imaginative and well written piece of fiction that belies excellent knowledge of native American culture in a most intriguing way. There are nice overhanging themes of loss (in terms of a relationship) and man’s relationship to the natural world as well. The fantasy element, in terms of the Raven, is well executed. Come to think of it, we also get into the horror genre a little there too.... The writing as a whole feels very polished – I didn’t spot any typos for instance – and tight. To be incredibly pedantic, the German word for ‘yes’ is given as ‘ya’ in chapter one where it should be ‘ja’. I also wondered about the underlining of portions of text throughout. This distracted me a little, I must admit. I do have some question marks hanging over me as regards the prologue. Firstly, it did seem more poetic than the rest of the text and I wondered whether it really fits. I liked that sense of loss/man at one with nature in it, but would that be lost if the prologue weren’t there? I’m only raising it as a question, not saying I have the answer. Secondly, I did feel the first few paragraphs were overly ‘wordy’ in places though. “….everything we know now blurs with that soundless shifting of spirits from dimensions long thought ethereal,” is pretty hard to picture in the first few lines. Those were just a few questions I would raise, from my know-nothing, novice writer point of view. Overall, I found this to be a skilled piece of writing. It’s been playing on my mind since I read it earlier today. I’m very impressed with it indeed. I’m going to think about it some more…. All the best with it, Ross

Thanks for the input, will take a look at those comments. Thanks Frank [QUOTE] Magical and poetic! A few minor editing suggestions: “dimensions thought ethereal” was a little confusing to me ( some dimensions ARE ethereal, no?) perhaps italicize thunk razor edged beak probably needs a hyphen (as does no holds barred, though I can see why you wouldn’t want to, with the long string that follows! I like that string though...) and you might do well to vary the punctuation a bit: Farther back, in the security of the cedars, it is different, roughly hewn, and unfinished, it appears hastily carved~could have a dash after different; a semi-colon after unfinished, or start a new sentence: Roughly hewn and unfinished, it appears hastily carved. Conversely, footsteps; so full of mysticism, of life: I’m not entirely certain what the “full of” is supposed to refer to; currently it seems to refer to Brook Grant (if you intend the footsteps, use a comma here) his hunger, that thirst: I’d be consistent with “his hunger/his thirst” or “that” for both (otherwise it seems to say his hunger IS “that thirst” this line could also be helped with clearer punctuation: including the romance and like the Haida actually, this line could use a slight reworking (probably split into two sentences) to avoid the clash between making the point that she, and they, are gone, and yet saying what “remains”: She was gone, like the Haida he’d visited at Sghaan Gway, where now only enigmatic gods etched into cedar remained. [this would also flow better into the next line, which is about the poles, not “her”; its basic structure seems to say, “The watchmen remained” but I find it a bit confusing, as it seems to be “general” (that crowned “most” poles) and it, too, would read better with some punctuation (are the poles squinting?), plus you’ve already made the “remain” point. (squinted rather than squinting would be one potential fix, but “staring with empty eyes and mute tongues remained” still needs addressing)] Evocative memories, yet none of it: a little awkward, as memories is plural; if you intend the “it” to refer to the journal or something else, I’d spell it out a bit more (ditto for He lay; he lay awake? lay “there”?) How do you then fill: I’d cut “then” or put commas around it I’m not too sure yet about the POV shifts from first to third person (with some second person “you” thrown in as well!); I’ll have to read further and see how it’s handled beyond the “prelude”. . . Jilaine Tarisa A Moment of Time [ENDQUOTE]

Sometimes it only takes the first paragraph of a book to know you are going to love it ... and this purely sparkles. On our shelf. Richard and Yvette

Frank, You've outlined an enticing plot in your synopsis to Raven's Lament. I love your combination of poetry and prose. Your luscious descriptions paint vivid images. There is such a depth of meaning in your writing style which is a fine art in writing. Rated with six stars. Walden Carrington Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story