Yeah, part nine i am still trying to write, i should put more up in time [QUOTE] Hi, I've read the chapters you have posted but there wasn't anything under the '9' heading. I really like this story. Very well-written and suspenseful. Will you be posting more chapters? I'd like to read more. In the opening I saw a typo (She was sit instead of sitting). Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon) [ENDQUOTE]

Hi, I've read the chapters you have posted but there wasn't anything under the '9' heading. I really like this story. Very well-written and suspenseful. Will you be posting more chapters? I'd like to read more. In the opening I saw a typo (She was sit instead of sitting). Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

Hi again, I made a start tonight and read the first two chapters. I really liked the immediacy, the action and all the physicality. It was quite gripping. But I was trying to think of what I could do that would be most helpful, so I did a bit of copy-editing (sorry, day job!) and these are my notes if you're interested, all of which probably wouldn't take more than a minute to act upon if you agree. (gaga > gag; in dear > in fear; in to them > into them; She smiled > she smiled.) Occasionally sentences could have been broken up into two (eg beginning at 'stepping back' and 'he watched her eyes'. Also, it might be a good idea in chapter 2 to establish the change of point of view straight away, maybe 'He struck...her face' rather than 'His hand...' if you see what I mean. Anyway, I hope some of that is of some use, rather than annoying nitpicking. I really think you've got great flair and grip the reader from the off. Hope you get a chance to check out The Devil's Fan Club. All the very best, Mark

It sounds a bit cheesy and cliché. Auburn hair? Really? Look we all want to use words that aren't overheard but their is a boundary. There is a point where it goes from unique to unrealistic. Don't worry it is a lot harder to see the line when your writing from first person but a general rule of thumb is to be careful with physical descriptions. The funny thing is that there is this common trend where an author tries (and usually fails) to use a unique word and then right before or after uses a very cliché line. For example "peered intently." Nevertheless, the time of which we are coming into the story seems at least to be a good choice. I may continue reading this at another time.

How totally wonderful you are, S.E.!! :) Thank you so very much for backing my memoirs/testimony book. :) May God richly bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** mine, too. Every ****** -ing & backing more than 24 hours moves our books up authonomy's lists. :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf because, I'm #1 on the editor's desk & I don't want to lose traction & to remain in the top 5 to be chosen February 28. :) Please read my profile page: I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 24 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after almost 1 year of trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks this past year.

Dear S.E., I love the suspense of, "it is late evening when the Scientist stood back, bloody knife in hand, and admired a job well done... Dr. Montague, Chief of Forensic Pathology in Cambridgeshire, must juggle her professional life and that of her home life to solve... a stream of severe and nasty of young soap opera stars murders with the help of her deputy Sally and DCI Blackman," as your pitch portrays. :) WOW!! What a story. :) I can hardly wait to see who the murderer is. :) As I read your Prologue, Part I, there are no names given, so I only know that the woman is bound, gagged, beaten, & raped & threatened by a man who joyed in it, so I will go on to Prologue, Part II where it was a nightmare, she thought when she woke up, then realized it had really happened - it was great that her friends, Charles & Gerry came to help her. :) Epilogue, Part III: "the Scientist knew how to get away with murder" - had held a gun to a boy who he made hang himself & hates Dr. Montague. ch.1: Dr. Cee-Jay Montague is the woman beat up & raped & Charles & Gerry try to get her to say who did it & make a police report, but she was afraid of being killed if she told anyone & finally tells them it was Detective Inspector Wayne Johnson. :) ch.2: Cee-Jay's ex-childhood boyfriend is now Detective Chief Inspector of Huntingdon :) - "I was promoted and transferred last week. I am the new DCI for this division. So we shall now be working together," he told her in ch.3-7 :) - the young boy actor hung investigated, so Cee-Jay finally told Riley & Sally & Julie that DCI Wayne Johnson was the one who had harmed her. The boy had been hung by his testicles (my Granny thought all evil men sh/be, I tell of in my memoirs) before he was hanged by the neck & they do the autopsy & Cee-Jay fills out the "report of death" & puts it in the file & Riley takes her home. :) I was afraid that Riley was just going to drop her off & she would be harmed again, but they fell to sleep together. :) There must be more to come for DCI Wayne to be arrested, etc. :) I have read & commented on your book & put it on my bookshelf to back more than 24 hours when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, in return? :) - I would so much appreciate it because I have been trying for almost a year to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk & on 1-1-11, I was #6, but 2 people passed me up, pushing me to #6, so I didn't get chosen January 31 - I am now #1 & need lots of backings to hold me in to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk February 28. :) Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your help. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ******-ing moves our book up authonomy's lists as does backing more than 24 hours & the longer on our bookshelves, the more they move up :) p.p.s. I want to apologize for it taking so long to get to your book, but I have been so sick & when authonomy was down for 3 days 46 days ago,which was when I wrote to you, & I am finally getting on my feet, so I have read your touching book. :) view book

That's a pretty intense first chapter!! Even by the time you get to chapter 3, as he admires his work I feel like I've been through the gauntlet already. I thought it was a pretty awesome beginning and it definitely entices me to read more. I didn't see much in the way of editing errors but I'm awful at that, when I start reading I tend to fly right over stuff like that! But your story is strong and I'm hooked. Not even a big fan of serial killer books. Towards the end of chaper 3, when he kicked the chair out from under the guy you spell 'break' as 'brake'. And Dr. Montage, you forgot to capitalize the M. Easy things to fix! The Scientist is one freaky character! Starred for now and I'll back you when I'm able to but it might not be for a few days! Missy

this is now on our bookshelf AS PROMISED!!!!!

Thak you!!!... have 6 starred this to show intent and have added to our WL which means you WILL make our shelf in the next (+1) round of backings (its 11pm for us). Feel free to chase at ANY TIME n will let u know exactly how long till ur going up. Good luck with it and thanks again!

:) I will comment on your book as soon as I have read it - read & commented on 46 days later :)