I loved the opening paragraph of this story. It was beautifully scenic and gave up a lot of the story without being over the top. It was very Catherine Cookson-style – by which I mean - when everything was so bad for the girls it couldn't get worse, but did when the newly orphaned girls get thrown out of their home. The dialogue was a sheer delight and the characters of Annie and Lizzie carry the story well. There's an awful lot happens to the girls in the first chapter and even though the evnts progressed naturally, I did wonder if it wouldn't be better split into various scenes or even into shorter chapters. Liked the way life took Annie over and pulled her away from her sister. All the excitement blinding her to responsibility. It was very well done. The inclusion of Polly was another excellent characterization. Though I would have enjoyed reading about the developing conflict of egos between Annie and Roland you sort of skipped over it quickly, as you did with their developing romance. All in all – a really nicely done historical write and highly starred.

Kate. Although I'm new to authonomy so haven't read too much, yours is the book that I have enjoyed the most so far so I've decided to put you on my bookshelf - I'll try to leave you there for a while.

I'm enjoying it! Good description without slowing down the pace - I feel that I'm right there with them...on the grimey streets! By the end of chapter one I care about what happens to the girls and I'm wondering what the true character of Roland is? Sprectamus Sape....isn't that similar to something out of Harry Potter?

ANNIE This is a sad story. But also a good one. Both Lizzie and Annie are sympathetic characters because they have to beg in the streets for money for food. I think a strength of this is your dialogue; it takes a reader a minute to “get with it” but it certainly sounds authentic. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Beautifully and authentically written - I was immediately caught up in the story. Six stars and on my watchlist. I look forward to reading the finished book. Dave Hill SEE SAW

Kate - I do like this story. Very believable as it tugs at the heart. Poor young girls, left on their own to fend for themselves. I would love to know how the story ends. This was one I read all the way to the end and now I am curious ... Good job. jennifer

I really like this. The style, the sisters' predicament, the dialogue all pulled me into the story and I read through the prologue and first chapter easily. This is one of the few books I'd like to read all the way through on here. I'm just wondering if you couldn't make the prologue the first chapter? It seems to flow very well into the second chapter, and there's no point in having a prologue if you don't need one. I've heard it puts agents/editors off :P The line: "No, no, my dear," Roland smiled... Didn't read smoothly for me because he hasn't introduced himself yet. Maybe just continue with 'the man' until he introduces himself in the next paragraph? Just a small typo where you missed off a speechmark in "Of course you will, replied Roland. And something just didn't ring true with Annie willing to leave Lizzie all night long. "All right, I'll come with yer, but I'll 'ave to come back first thing tomorrow for Lizzie." Why couldn't she just see the man and come back to Lizzie that same evening? I know it turns out that she drinks too much and ends up staying all night, but maybe it would be better for her likability as a character if she hadn't originally planned to. You've really made me warm to these two characters and I found myself worrying about Lizzie waiting on her own all night. Very impressed. On my shelf and highly starred.