Hello. Enjoyed the story though I've only read two chapters so far. You mentioned wanting to get the translation right, so I've made the following notes that struck me you may want to change: From the start - 'only drizzle' not only a drizzle. You need to say 'it had rained...' or take out the other 'had's' 'She threw herself out of the way AT the last second..' (rather than 'in') crawling out of the ditch she found 'all of her limbs....' don't think you need found 'out' '... and she weren't seriously hurt....' should be 'wasn't, or was not seriously hurt. I wasn't sure why he 'of course' found her glasses.' - why of course? when she's on the bike, the word 'faintly' as in 'faintly felt' seemed a bit odd. Just 'felt' would be stronger. Last line - '.....her window, did she fall asleep properly.' rather than '...window she fell asleep...' Hope you don't mind me pointing those out, take or ignore as you like, it was only that you mentioned the translation side of things. I liked how the thoughts of your character about the situation and herself as others would see her tells us so much about her and the way she thinks. Shall read on to see where its going next. Cariad STONES.

I rather liked the relation between the daughter and the father I loved your writing and flow of your narrative is perfect. The structures and descriptive nature of your story is tight. The early motorcycle scene wonderfully connects the two characters. Great job! Backed with pleasure! Scott The Esrevinu chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

The translation is pretty good for a non-native English speaker, but could use some polishing. I like the story-line so far and am waiting for Jamie's secret to be revealed. Please continue with the English version, I'd like to read more.

Bleeding from her tight control—the idea of Jamie influencing her inner feelings—how dare he? This was a lovely read, you have no idea how much I enjoyed it. Jamie haunting her, pressing her buttons without even trying. Brylcreem, leather jacket and a motorcycle, girdles and nylons classically 50’s along with losing yourself to films with the likes of Marlon Brando in a sleepy little town and something tells me that there is more to Jamie than meets the eye and much much more to Doris.