Hey Veronica, There's quite a few renditions of Alice In Wonderland on this site but yours is definitely one of the most unique. You keep your readers entertained from the very beginning with your wacky personalities. I know you've heard this a lot, the pace is rapid. A lot happens in your first chapter which isn't that long to start out with. I think it's smart though, kids want to get to the action right away instead of getting stuffed with backstory and exessive detail. There's no doubt, you definitely have a talent for storytelling. Good luck with this! I've enjoyed it so far :)

Hey Veronica, There's quite a few renditions of Alice In Wonderland on this site but yours is definitely one of the most unique. You keep your readers entertained from the very beginning with your wacky personalities. I know you've heard this a lot, the pace is rapid. A lot happens in your first chapter which isn't that long to start out with. I think it's smart though, kids want to get to the action right away instead of getting stuffed with backstory and exessive detail. There's no doubt, you definitely have a talent for storytelling. Good luck with this! I've enjoyed it so far :)

Who doesn't love a new twist on Alice in Wonderland? It seems like a daunting task, but you really have captured Wonderland and twisted it to your own fancy, creating something that is just as quirky and interesting as the original. The one thing I feel the need to comment on is the pace of the story, which to me was a little to quick for me, but didn't really deter from the overall story. I can see this really developing along in the future. Cheer, Marisa Tower of Paradise

Who doesn't love a new twist on Alice in Wonderland? It seems like a daunting task, but you really have captured Wonderland and twisted it to your own fancy, creating something that is just as quirky and interesting as the original. The one thing I feel the need to comment on is the pace of the story, which to me was a little to quick for me, but didn't really deter from the overall story. I can see this really developing along in the future. Cheer, Marisa Tower of Paradise

This feels like such a great twist on Alice in Wonderland. I actually like your fast pace myself, and I enjoyed your wacky character development. I really like the virtual reality feel in the names for your characters and the way that they interact with each other. Your characters are quickly likeable, and you draw us into the story really well right at the beginning of the prose. I'm hooked! I only had time to read your first chapter today, but I'm going to put this on my shelf and continue reading. Highly rated. Best of luck! :-)

This feels like such a great twist on Alice in Wonderland. I actually like your fast pace myself, and I enjoyed your wacky character development. I really like the virtual reality feel in the names for your characters and the way that they interact with each other. Your characters are quickly likeable, and you draw us into the story really well right at the beginning of the prose. I'm hooked! I only had time to read your first chapter today, but I'm going to put this on my shelf and continue reading. Highly rated. Best of luck! :-)

A long overdue return backing. Thank you - Ian

Hi Veronica, I write YA fantasy too, and was intrigued by your premise. It’s a great idea, one that kids can relate to. Xander is a believeable, normal sort of boy, and in the first chapter at least, not particularly likeable. Maybe it’s because you have him smirking quite often, which isn’t very endearing. I guess he’s going to get more likeable as he’s tracked from city to city, and he begins to feel a little afraid and not so sure of himself. With the characters from the original Wonderland you can do great things, very creepy things too. There are quite a lot of typos that need fixing: grimiced - grimaced grimore – grimoire easy pray - prey stoped – stopped Your use of capitals is a bit erratic too. The action is rapid, you introduce a whole bunch of interesting characters in the first few paragraphs and the plot spins along. I must say though, that I sometimes found it a bit confusing, that the pace is a bit too rapid. It might be better to slow it down just a little to let the reader absorb each character as they appear and make sure it’s clear who’s speaking. Good luck with this. Starred and on my watch list. Jane Wormholes The Dark Citadel

Hi Veronica, I write YA fantasy too, and was intrigued by your premise. It’s a great idea, one that kids can relate to. Xander is a believeable, normal sort of boy, and in the first chapter at least, not particularly likeable. Maybe it’s because you have him smirking quite often, which isn’t very endearing. I guess he’s going to get more likeable as he’s tracked from city to city, and he begins to feel a little afraid and not so sure of himself. With the characters from the original Wonderland you can do great things, very creepy things too. There are quite a lot of typos that need fixing: grimiced - grimaced grimore – grimoire easy pray - prey stoped – stopped Your use of capitals is a bit erratic too. The action is rapid, you introduce a whole bunch of interesting characters in the first few paragraphs and the plot spins along. I must say though, that I sometimes found it a bit confusing, that the pace is a bit too rapid. It might be better to slow it down just a little to let the reader absorb each character as they appear and make sure it’s clear who’s speaking. Good luck with this. Starred and on my watch list. Jane Wormholes The Dark Citadel