Grimm's Cabinet of Spooky Stories Wah-ha-ha! I read everything that you posted of this nostalgic, around the campfire, 1950s inspired collection of scary stories, complete with the introductory narrative of the frightful host. These stories really inspired a sense of innocent satisfaction, like watching reruns of the Twilight Zone would, and I really enjoyed them, after I got past rolling my eyes at the somewhat corny intro paragraphs. I am on the fence about these. On the one hand, I think that as a collection of stories it would do better without the intros. On the other, they do add a bit of charm. My favourite was the one about the trapper who goes in a temporal loop (Cold Comfort) My least favourite was the ghost of the guard dog and the open gate (Stumbling Bobs Bad End). I think the difference is that I found the main character more likable in the first story and so was more invested in what happened to him. The ship story was entertaining but did not grip my attention as much. There is very little I feel I can offer as suggestions. Making the stories dive a bit more into characterization may make them a bit more compelling for a reader like me, but that may hurt their accessibility as fun stories you can read aloud at a slumber party. In this regard, I imagine it could be successfully marketable with the right kind of publisher. I would suggest you indicate in your pitch how many stories the collection would have in the end, and maybe add a few more stories so as whet out appetites a bit more. Best of luck with it, Maeve

Grimm's Cabinet of Spooky Stories by James E. Coplin Hi James, I, absolutely, love the concept of your book. Nice intro to set the mood. I've read all five stories and enjoyed each one. I'm not sure which was my favorite but The Creeper and Cold Comfort are atop my list. Your endings were a fun twist. I think the book needs work but that's what we're all doing here. Please, feel free to ignore anything or tell me if I've got it wrong. I'm learning too! I'm wondering if your intro will be more mysterious if instead of unexpected visitors you make them expected. Hello or Come in, I've been expecting you ...or something to that effect. Italics work great in some instances, but I would have preferred a regular font in The Creeper in the Corn. I believe, you can add impact to all of your stories with more "showing and less telling". I didn't, altogether, feel the drama. Your dialogue helped but instead of telling me Joe Jr. was scared, I would rather see and feel it through his actions. I think you do to an extent but not enough. A small example from The Creeper in the Corn, 'There was a knock on the door.' I didn't feel any fear with that sentence. Maybe, something like ... A violent bang rattled the door, I would have. I believe "Show don't Tell" arouses our senses and gives us a feeling of connection but I'm still working on the technique too. It was 95 degrees, the humid air so still over the delta bottomlands that it draped ?? County like a sodden blanket. It was hot--hot as anybody's grandpa could remember. Etc ... (I couldn't find a Greensboro/Greensborough County in the Mississippi Delta. Of course, the story is fiction so the setting can be fictional but if you are interested in a county in the MS delta you can Google, Mississippi Delta, Wikopedia ..and look under Geography for a list of the counties. There is a Greenville in Washington County that might be a fit for you) para from Creeper, Joe dressed it in a rag of an old frock ...(later in para) bottle caps eyes unblinkingly surveying ...etc .. I think if you changed that to the unblinking bottle cap eyes surveying, it may work better. I was told to use the adverbs ending in ly sparingly so I'm wary of all of them now. (If you're interested, here's a little trick to help find them in your book. Type ly and add a space after the letters in your word finder. Then you can zip right through your book and decide which to keep, which to change and which to delete.) I was impressed with your stories but I do think they need a thorough edit to correct punctuation (missing commas & a few periods), typos or missing words. My notes: Stumbling Bobs Bad End (Bobs = Bob's) para, The growling was like the thunder...the smell of dog (here you can use the reader's sense of smell) -- maybe?.. but a dirty dog smell filled ..etc Night Work shanghaied forever in a tale we ("I") call (<----what about, "I" instead of "we" for all of them) para; Against the back light of the vapor lamps ... As one, they froze and stood unmoving, silent. (redundant since froze means they were unmoving) maybe instead .. As one, they froze and stood together, silent. Cold Comfort letting sleeping dogs lie? where the dream world and the real world are hard to decipher ... nice para, He bolted upright. Some distance ... (later in the para) This was real. Somehow he was outside ... etc .. (I think you're over telling. (if you go back just a little, you may be able to show it better .. He was freezing, his bare feet buried deep beneath the snow. He chaffed his arms, shaking out the stiffness and gawked in confusion at the far-off cabin with wisps of whitish-grey smoke rising out its chimney. Ploughing back through the snow, he realized the spot where he'd lain looked familiar. ("lie = to rest or recline" I think you want lain --lie/lay/lain) feels downplayed when he finds the dead guy back in bed. I wasn't sure he was scared until the next para when he left. (I think if you show his fright through his actions it would give a better sense of how scared he was) I hope you don't think the review is over critical. It isn't intended to be. As I said, I really like these stories and I hope you continue to work on them. I'm convinced with work, these stories have a lot of potential before or after dark! Wishing you the Best! Posted on the Week of Horror thread https://authonomy.com/forums/threads/109234/week-of-horror/?pagenumber=8#AnchorComment Jane

I love this! The first chapter makes me feel like I'm about to get on The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland or watch an episode of the Twilight Zone. You could work on the flow of your language here and there because it breaks with the mood or sounds a little juvenile, but other than that I like it. I'll be back to read the rest. Hannah S. Denham The Indigo Forum

Here's my full review of your story: http://dannyjray.blogspot.com/2012/11/in-transit-review-grimms-cabinet-of.html

I liked the opening chapter. It reminded me a bit of the narrator at the beginning of 'Rocky Horror'. I don't know if that is what you're aiming for or not, but I enjoyed it. I'll be back to read some more at some point. Best wishes, Sarah

Hi, Jim; I just finished reading the first tale and I loved it. You writing and structure pulled me in very quickly and I couldn't stop reading! I shall continue reading. High stars indeed. Kind regards; David Shadows Of Perception

Jim, I've read the first of your tales. This was very spooky, and you had me wondering until the very end what would happen with the boy and the scarecrow. Some really great imagery added to the atmosphere and brought the cornfield and the scarecrow to life. High stars and best of luck. Kate

Jim, I've now read the next story - Stumbling Bob's Bad End, and will be back for more! What I like about your stories is the structure. They are meaty with a great build up to the climax. No unnecessary detail . Everything you write is relevant and interesting. This one had a whiff of 'Hound of the Baskervilles' in it in the vicious black ghost dog. Again, you are able to create a very visual picture so that it is like watching a film. I noticed a few typos in this one, but nothing that would detract from the powerful story: I think you need an apostrophe in the title for 'Bob's'. There is a mysterious break in the paragraph that begins 'The dangerous thing about Bob . . .' 'Intension' is spelt 'intention'. 'Stick around Pooch' needs a comma before 'Pooch'. '. . . following a scent' is missing a full stop. Where you have written dialogue on one occasion, you have used a full stop where a comma (or exclamation mark) should be used: 'You go away.' Bob called out should be either 'You go away!' Bob called out or 'You go away,' Bob called out. Other than that, I enjoyed it (in a creepy kind of way)! Helen Glass Dreams

Jim, It will be dark soon, so I have only allowed myself to read the Prologue and the first story - The Creeper in the Corn. I love the way you address the reader in the introduction. Already I am biting my nails as I hear the voice as deep, slow and sinister. Eeek! I want to speed up, but I can't. I am dragged in and under the spell. Powerful narration. Well done! The Creeper in the Corn. This is a superbly written story, Jim. Great writing. I can feel the heat which you convey so wonderfully. I loved the phrase 'pressed on your chest like a boot heel'. Wonderful. I can see the visual scenes and hear the voices. The scarecrow! Argh!! Terrifying. So vivid. I am shivering as JJ sets off into the cornfield at night. Phew. Deer. But then . . . the deer has been mangled . . . and there is evidence of straw. Double argh!! Fantastic imagery - 'clouds the colour of unbleached wool'. You manage to increase the scare factor as we tiptoe through. ' . . .that head had swivelled . . . and stared straight at Joe Junior' is so sinister and immediate. I can't bear it but I have to keep reading. There is a sound on the porch, 'the slow dragging sweep', the silhouette, the knock . . . The tension is brilliant. And the climax to the story is executed so well. Jim, I have nothing but praise for what I have read so far. Tight, perfectly-edited writing that evokes such a powerful response in the reader. I am definitely going to read on, quaking in my boots as I am. If you don't get this published, then the world is a very unfair place. You would definitely be placed in any short story competition with this. Do have a look and see what's out there. Six whopping great stars!! Helen

After you recommended it as your favourite I just checked out Stumbling Bob's Bad End (should Bob's have that apostrophe? I'm a bit poor at grammar myself but I'd have thought so yet it isn't in your title). Good storytelling and I liked the twist to this one, didn't see it coming as I just assumed that Bon's assumption about the fence was wrong. One typo I noticed, Stephan King rather than Stephen, but other than that nothing jumped out at me (unlike poor Bob). The only other comment I would make is that your MC is called Bob in this story, and also in your final story. I don't suppose it matters but personally I think it would be better to change one of them, probably the one in the final story if it were me. Good stuff Jim, glad I popped back. James

Grimm’s Cabinet of Spooky Stories I really like your pitch. You got “lighting” instead of “lightning” but otherwise, all good. I like the opening. It’s fun, friendly and ever so slightly creepy. What a good start! The Creeper in The Corn This is brilliant! The blood from a murderer is split on the floor of the barn and the straw ends up inside a scarecrow. Not a plot I’ve seen before, I’m delighted to say. “like ghosts whispering down a chimney pipe” is lovely. The dead deer with the corn stalks stuck in its antlers has given me actual goosebumps. The idea that something terrible is going to happen when they go to harvest the crop is very well thought of. It surprised me. No complaints from me about any of it. Pretty much flawless. I’m not always this complimentary, I assure you. I’ve got no idea why this is only on one bookshelf. I can only assume it’s because you haven’t been promoting it because it deserves better. Six stars and let me know if I can do anything to help you get it seen. Lucy

Hi James, I've had this on my watchlist since I read part of Bite Mark and finally got around to taking a look. The introduction is very Tales of the Crypt, an unusual approach in a novel but it worked fine for me. I plumped for the final story at random and found it to be a creepy little tale. I must say that I wasn't really surprised by the way it turned out and if it were me, which it isn't, but if it were, I may have gone for a bit more of a tussle between the two over the cabin. Bob and the dead guy each dragging the other from the bed and outside. There were a few typos, and do you really mean "possibles sack"? but nothing that a quick edit wouldn't fix. The only other bit that jarred was "chewing" on the frozen whiskey, would "crunched" be better? I'm not sure but chewy ice didn't quite fit right. Nice little story though. Quick and easy to read and the sort of thing that would convert well into an Outer Limits or Twilight Zone episode. Best wishes, James

Grimm’s Cabinet of Spooky Stories. By James E. Coplin. I wondered what the significance of the book cover was until I started to read the book. Your particular ‘Introduction’ fascinated me—Unique to me in book form – A film yes, but never a book! We are invited into the house with its spooky setting and down the steps to the cellar. I could almost sense the dampness and eeriness of the whole place as I take a seat to listen to the tales of Pretorius Grimm, illuminated by a flickering candle which I sincerely hope will not blow out…BOO! The Creeper in the Corn. Love the way the story opens. Will Buckman an escaped convict running for his life through a stifling humid cornfield chased by baying hounds ,Deputies and half the ‘chain gang’ Guards . A futile attempt to escape—He’s leg-ironed which helps none. You describe well the chase and Will’s refuge in a barn where he’s finally shot dead spraying his blood over the bales of straw. Excellent dialogue as Joe Tobbers argues over the damaged barn with Sherriff Payson, this scene comes over well as I read on. Joe, decides not to waste the bloodied corn but use it to stuff a new scarecrow. I was captured by the look of it after it was made…Coke bottle caps for eyes that seemed to move about so much in the half light of day, so scary for anyone around at night. The spirit of Will Buckman was much alive as we read of the antics that went on. Joe junior had seen it all but kept it to himself for fear of ridicule. He didn’t like the idea of bringing in the crop of corn at harvest time. A thrilling end to the story as the scarecrow is finally reduced to ashes by JJ, a frightened boy! I thoroughly enjoyed this; it has a very good voice to it as well as vivid detail. It makes for a very good midnight read …well perhaps on second thoughts, not too late!! Will be back again for more later—Love the book! Top stars! Well done, James! Best regards, Neville. The Secrets of the Forest – The Time Zone.

The cover really caught my eye. Just finished the first story and the pacing had me gripped. Under the cover stuff it is. The ending I thought was going to make reference to the spirit of the dead scarecrow somehow affecting the boy. Just a tiny reference would make this spine chilling. Like a ref to the bullets or spilled blood!

Really nice writing. This reminds me of the tales my kids loved to read sitting around campfires; they feel very authentic. The scarecrow is nice and ominous. The one thing I'd tinker with would be: replace the italic font with a standard one. It would make it much easier to read. Best of luck with this! and if you have any interest in children's literature you are invited to check out the Lost Wink. Thanks, Tod http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Hi James, a return read for your support of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams. Thanks again for that. I read the first two stories. The scarecrow one was truely creepy, and the ending was great, fire and sparks galore! The second story didn't convince me quite so much, though it was spooky in places, but the end felt unsatisfactory somehow. Really glad I read this though. You write beautifully. A good balance between atmospheric description and plot. Loved the image of the jangling scarecrow on it's hook dancing wildly in the wind.I also liked the beginning section, a bit of magic realism with a convincing explanation of why the straw had lifelike properties, I think this really set up the creepiness of the story, that was lacking in story two. Thank goodness I don't live near a farm! Thoroughly enjoyed the stories. Would have liked to read more. Few nits or niggles. 6 stars from me. Will keep it on my WL to read more and perhaps shelve later. All the best, Sharda.

James Really liked the introduction it had a great tone to it. 'Cousin Grimm' really sets the scene for the ghost stories. The Creeper in the Corn Yoir writing style is very polished and engaging. You have skillfully paced the events of the story, drip-feeding information so as not to give too much away too soon. There is agreat atmospere when JJ goes into the corn field in the dark. I like the idea that his father saw the scarecrow as being sent from Jesus whereas his son was aware that it was evil. A great story, well structured and no typos I was aware of. High stars and wishing you all the best with it. Debbie

The words the author used in his description is appropriate for where he told his readers he was living in his introduction. "Basement is not a bad place after all," I thought I'll dive in chapter one next time

Read three stories and loved them. rated a 6 and on my B/S.......... Christian

Superb pice of work, very entertaining. John Stearn (Author of Derilium)

Hello! Sorry it took so long for areply :0 At anyrate, to the book: LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the beginning! Great personalization and connection with the reader right away. Really hooks 'em in and makes them continue. Great descriptions, not too much, not too little. Also has a creepy air to it. Very nice. 1st Story: Few missing commas. Anybody is one word. Love the use of italics and normal font. Your descriptions are epic, engaging all five senses. Very nice. Like the point of view, really sounds like someone's telling the story to the reader. Wow, classic type ending. Was great! And enjoyable read I must say. (I love scary stories :D You were missing quite a few commas though in many places. In your rewrite, I'd pay attention to those. Other than that, it was good! Watched, can't wait to read more :)

Hey James, here for the read swap... sorry it took me so long. Not surprised if you forgot. Well, you're a great writer and I love the way you introduced the story. Grimm sounds like just the kind of guy to tell a creepy tale the way it should be told. It's hard to beat or even match Steven King in this genre but you're off to a good start. In the one story I read, you tried to let the reader's imagination do most of the work at conjuring up the creepy details just by telling around the idea of a protective scarecrow. Often it's the psychological mysteries surrounding such tales that make them particularly scary, especially for readers with an active imagination. The challenge here is coming up with something new, could be just a simple twist in the common stories that would make this unique. Btw, the scarecrow story got less thrilling at the end. The monster was killed off way to easily (kid was too sharp) and it didn't kill anyone. Ya, my problem... I'm the sadist. Love me a horror that doesn't end well, at least partially. Let the kid get knocked around a bit, why don't you. :D Well, loved it... 6 Star and will keep it on my w/l till I have space to back it. :) Edwin - The First Oath.

Well done, Regards, Rian Torr New London Masquerade

Hi James, I’m here for our read swap. Sorry it’s taken me this long to get here. Below are my findings/comments. They are of course my humblest opinions, so please take them for whatever they’re worth. The short pitch works well for this type of book, I think. In the long pitch, if you’re going to use a semicolon for a list, you should continue that trend for consistency. Besides, semicolons in lists usually have a minimum of three. Therefore, the period after “window” should be a semicolon. Or, you can make the semicolon in the first sentence a period. One dash is a hyphen. Two dashes is an emdash. The hyphen should be an emdash. Introduction While I think an intro is ideal for this kind of book, to garner feedback on the actual stories within, I would drop it just for Authonomy. An ellipse is three dots. Anything beyond is incorrect (technically speaking). The Creeper in the Corn “In Mississippi in the summer…” Might consider revising to “Mississippi summers were always like that.” “any bodies” should be “anybody’s” “Yet whatever breeze might be, it never touched within the corn.” Consider “Yet, when the rare breeze did wisp by, it never seemed to touch the corn.” The way it’s written is a bit clunky and confusing. Great description. Love the part about the boot heel, but the catfish in a bucket might be a bit much. We already get that it’s hard to breathe. Don’t overdo it. Choose one or the other and move onto the next part of the story. However, I do like the comparison of how difficult it is to breathe with the difficulty of pushing aside corn stalks. “Will Buckman…” Kind of a wordy sentence. Delete “was the one that” and just go with “Will Buckman crashed through the corn…” The part about the Chain Gang guards, I would open with this as it’s really the hook here. The other details can be filled in. Why is the majority of this in italics? Kind of distracting, and usually italics are reserved for introspective thought in a character. “He could hear it just out of sight.” I think the thoughts need to be separated as “hear” is an audible thing and mixed with “sight,” it’s kind of awkward. Kind of reminds me a little of Children of the Corn, but is different enough to be unique. Wonderful, wonderful descriptions, though I think some tightening could help the imagery pop a bit more. Great sense of pacing. You tend to overuse “yet.” Do a word find. I count 15 uses of it. Might consider revising or using different words on occasion, like “however,” or “but.” Same with semicolons. I count 21 uses. Might be a bit much. Great start. Highly starred and will recommend this to folks. Best of luck. Phil (Deshay of the Woods)

Really like the beginning, the way you invite the reader in as this is a novel way to attract people to your book, makes it interesting. I also particuarly like your descriptive writing. An original read!