Hi Dave, I read chapter 4. The pitch is very gripping and got me hooked straight away. I like the way you describe the profile fo the character, I found this easy to read and addictive. A couple fo nit piks, don't worry I have made loads of edits: You use capitals for ranks sometimes but not all the time, I think it looks better with the capitals. When you finish a sentence in speach marks you are using a period, I did the same, someone suggested I read Eat, Shoots and Leaves (a book) I started using commas and it does look tidier, but I might still have it wrong.. This is an excellent story and with a little editing you could be on to a winner. Well done, high stars. Kind Regards and Best Wishes Lenny

Wow! Intriguing premise. Sounds like a book I would really like to read. I have just started reading and one thing that strikes me is that, unlike many fictional works on this site, this one reads like a REAL book. The prologue is quite long, but it is indeed remarkable. Very remarkable and inviting. And the writing is indeed good. How I wish I had this book in hand right now!