Mark, There isnt much critisism here. You have got this well and truly cracked with no stone unturned. So well written. Great descriptive voice too. Cracking flow and a great premise. I can only see this doing good things and I hope more people will start reading it. Well done. Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

I read your first chapter with large, unblinking eyes----to think men really thought like that, and still do, is horrifying! You captured the feel and horror perfectly. Great job!!! Six stars and spot on my WL, and soon shelf! Sincerely, Donna Jessup and the Teleporter

I love this book as I love historical fiction. It is crafted very cleverly and I am putting it on my watch list. High stars!!

Hellion 2 by Mark Bean The book cover appears to be a professional job. Its eye catching and offers instant appeal to those of us that enjoy WWII stories. The pitch is strong and appealing. It will be interesting to see if this stands alone. Both character and scenery description make this a visual delight. Himmler’s cold persona is as evident as history dictates. The jade device sounds fascinating and a part of history that’s new to me. There’s a lot of back history. There seem to be a lot of opinions here that are presented as fact, but are subjective. For instance, calling Hitler an idiot. Consider checking paragraph indents – inconsistent. There’s a lot of back between the initial mention of Spaca and the conversation about her. A friend offered the best piece of advice when she recommended Noah Lukeman's, The First Five Pages. He's a literary agent with years of experience in the business and he offers advice on what agents look for in a manuscript. It offers a helpful exercise about dialogue tags. Ch. 1 Double check -> The driver of the Opel truck turned and grinned broadly at the tall Leutnant sat next to him. 'Jurgen unclipped the tailboard and gave the order to dismount and lineup' -> consider using this as an opportunity for dialogue. The seer was an unexpected, but positive, twist. The details regarding the village people demonstrates strong writing talent and potential. Within it are historical facts that help reinforce the setting. enough detail to move the reader forward, and the heightened tension of the seer's presence. Whenever there's an opportunity for dialogue, put it in, as it adds a natural tone and breaks up the narration. When the narrator offers an opinion -> Obergefreiter Franck was as complete an asshole as a man could get-> it cheapens the manuscript. When the narrator relays a fact -> Jurgen knew that behind the sergeant's back, the soldiers described the Obergefreiter as an Arsch mit ohren, and ass with ears -> it flows within the story. Consider doing a very slow edit. There are several missing words, wrong word tense, etc. Then, delete any detail that doesn't move the story forward. By doing so, the story will be streamlined, tight, and livelier. Finally, go back and generously sprinkle it with rich dialogue for added interest. I want to hear the command that takes the doctor's vehicle. His reaction is palapable. The dialogue about the French regulations flowed naturally. More of this, please. You have the beginning of a good story, well told. Like all of our work, a thorough edit will only strengthen what's already there. The historical value is significant. Keep writing!

First, a couple of nits--Is Jurgen Hartmann a Leutnant or Kaporal? In ch 5 Odette says to Solange "I can tell you know [now]." There might be more but I find the writing otherwise to be strong and the scenes well-imagined. A professional proofreader is recommended since there are foreign terms and languages that should not have any errors in them - ZERO - even more important than the text itself. Brilliant work. To be backed in January.

This in depth exposition accounting for Himmler's hatred of the Jews and how the Wehrmacht steam-rollered across France under orders from Hitler to subdue the country and track down Jews, has been handled with care and tact by the author. He has employed a balanced and near to dispassionate narrative to portray the central characters in this second book dealing with the occupation of Europe, Normandy in particular. Hellion 2 has the beginnings of a well crafted historical fiction which when complete will make a very good war novel. Highly starred and on my WL. Clive Radford Doghouse Blues

Hey Cy, how are you going to develop the Rommel character, sounds good. place some more chapters now please. JS

C'mon Cyrus, publish Hellion 1 and some more of Hellion 2 PLEASE!!!!

Hi Cyrus, I finally found some time to read your book. I've read the first two chapters and love your descriptive writing. I really felt that I was sitting in that room along with those nineteen men. Backed. Cheers Willie

Hi Cyrus, still an excellent read that I keep returning to. I enjoy the Character of lawrence Talks regards JS

Hi Cyrus, This is a very interesting idea you've got going on here. I almost feel like some sort of James Bond/Indiana Jones mash-up character should be appearing in the room in this beginning chapter. The tone you've built here in these opening sentences seems to greatly convey the emotion of the room, which I really appreciate. I'll be back to check out more, but I think you've got something special here.

Very nice writing. I've only been able to read the first chapter, mostly because I have a to-do list a mile long, but I really enjoyed it so far and hope to come back and visit it again soon. I have a great interest in anything WWII and your book sounds wonderful. I'm particularly interested in who this woman is that wields such power. Good luck with the book. :) -Julie Rainey The Journey Home

Wow, you are taking on some heavy subject matter! One thing that struck me as I began reading is the period convention of referring to people by their nationality; this would have been tremendously important during WWII, when your nationality was a matter of life and death. I always enjoy reading works in which the author has obviously done his or her research, and I particularly enjoy historical fiction that teaches as it entertains. So I find your premise intriguing, and your writing is strong and clear. Nice work so far.

Hi , thanks for the kind comments, at work right now so just a quickie- I will address the points you raised, thanks for paying attention. Yes Odette would have hidden her radio, I will need to make that clearer. Thanks again regards Mark [QUOTE] Hi Mark. This is a clever and plausible story. It's well written and I really enjoyed reading it. I haven't read Hellion 1 but that didn't seem to matter. I found a few bits you may want to check: Chapter 2: figer pointing....should that be finger pointing. Chapter 5: the front wheel twisted and bent at it hit the dirt....as it hit the dirt. In chapter 4 you say that 'a brown bakerlite radio gathered dust on top of the bureau. Then in chapter 9 the old woman says, "True, I never take a newspaper or own a wireless." I don't know if there's a reason for this but I don't recall her hiding the radio. These are minor nit-picks and I'm only pointing them out to help you edit. It's well written and edited. This was a great read and I will back it. I'm a little behind as the shelf is so small and I have read some great books this week. Highly starred for now and backing to follow this coming week. All the best Jesamine. [ENDQUOTE]

Hi Mark. This is a clever and plausible story. It's well written and I really enjoyed reading it. I haven't read Hellion 1 but that didn't seem to matter. I found a few bits you may want to check: Chapter 2: figer pointing....should that be finger pointing. Chapter 5: the front wheel twisted and bent at it hit the dirt....as it hit the dirt. In chapter 4 you say that 'a brown bakerlite radio gathered dust on top of the bureau. Then in chapter 9 the old woman says, "True, I never take a newspaper or own a wireless." I don't know if there's a reason for this but I don't recall her hiding the radio. These are minor nit-picks and I'm only pointing them out to help you edit. It's well written and edited. This was a great read and I will back it. I'm a little behind as the shelf is so small and I have read some great books this week. Highly starred for now and backing to follow this coming week. All the best Jesamine.

Hi Mark Your book is extremely interesting and wonderfully written. What helps to arise this interest? As for me, it's the plot of the book, first of all. The combination of real historical events and authors imagination, the mystery, that shadows the reader from the very introduction can't but tie down his (her) attention. True-to-life characters, even the background ones(that group of four on the village square in the second chapter, Marcelle e.g.), skilfully depicted scenes, recognizable pictures - all these are the signs of a great book. Nevertheless, to be of some help (if I ever can) I'd like to draw your attention to some points. Introduction. 1. "This was also was one of the most secure buildings in the Reich" One "was" seems to be enough here? 2. Such high-ranked Nazi as Himmler couldn't but had the information that if even there were some difficulties with soap in pre-war communist Russia, that effected the Kremlin 'elite' in no way. 3. In 1932-1933 Ukraine had enough food .The problem was the communist regime expropriated, sucked Ukraine dry of food, selling crops abroad. Only after that there was issued that very Postyshev's order forbidding food being sent to Ukraine from other parts of Soviet Russia. Moreover, Red Army cordons were set around Ukraine in order not to let anyone escape . My granddad's house, the house I was born in, is in Bilopillya, Sumy region, some 8 km from Russia border. My grandparents survived thanked to my grandfather, who took risks creeping through those cordons, across the border to buy bread there, in Russia. The highest stars, still on my WL and my sincere conviction in its bright future. Val But Escape

Mark, A brotherhood of evildoers influencing warmongers such as Hitler to boost the bodycount. What a premise to weave a story around, as powerful forces align working through such seeming innocents as Solange Tarin, to accomplish their preordained tasks. You have a penchant for detail coming out in your descriptives, your dialogue effective purveyors of backstory. Thank you so much for the intriguing read. Kenneth Edward Lim The North Korean

Fabulous first two chapters. Superbly written, good strong characters so far, You have captured the era very well, The description is spot on, not too many words, and it flows really well. Good topic, very interested in your book. On my watchlist, highly starred, will continue reading later.. its magic kate Off the raisl

p.s. i should have mentioned how good the cover was!! People make money from that sort of graphic design and your cover looks about as professional as they come! well done.

Clearly you are no stranger to the craft of writing! I don't think I'd dare tackle some of the themes in this story such as the SS and racism, but you deal with difficult and challenging topics well, simultaneously creating well drawn characters that can be seen clearly in the mind's eye. They are believable and the kind of characters you "love to hate". I can't really advance the criticisms beyond what's already been said so i'll just say well done and will get this on my shelf soon!

Sorry,couldn't help myself - I had to post the hundreth comment - well done!

Overall I have come to really enjoy this work. Put aside the repeat chapter (error?) and a few grammatical errors- the basis is clever and I'm trying to think where I've heard this particular conspiracy theory before - or if I actually have. I agree with Gordon that some readers will find the concepts disturbing, however your work is more a delve into the mindset of that bastard Himmler. I am looking forward to how this pans out and I hope and assume that there will be a chapter of massive attrition, ho ho! regards JS

By the way- I like the new chapters - any more coming? JS

Hey Cyrus, What a great cover, let me know who designed it - I may have some work JS

Your cover look good. In fact, a piece of art. It must have taken some time to design

Is the self- inflicted Ukrainian famine a proven fact? It seems to me inherently improbable , if it is based on the work of Robert Conquest , he has proved himself the master of the grand supposition e.g his entirely false extrapolation from made-up , guesswork figures that 20 million people died in the Gulag, when the Kgb archives indicate that even at its peak in 1937 , only about 3 million people were in the Gulag, Conquest's guess is that there were 10 million for every year 1933-53 and that there was a rate of attrition of one million peryear , this is completely false - this for me completely undermines his book on the Ukrainian famine , on which you presumably base your assertion. I think you write extremely welll , but with fictional elements which may disturb some people,S. Gordon

[QUOTE] Very good writing. Very interesting. Six stars. Jim [ENDQUOTE] Thanks Jim much appreciated

Very good writing. Very interesting. Six stars. Jim

Dear Cyrus Sorry to take so long to get back to you. Firstly, I would totally endorse the previous postive comments about your book. Secondly, I have backed the book and awarded VG stars. I must admit that this is not usually the sort of genre I tend to read these days, but once I got used to the rythme of the book I began to really enjoy it, and look forward to what was about to happen next. Always a good sign! You write in a straigtforward, easy to read style ,and the atmosphere you built up as the Germans descended on the French villagers was excellent. The only observation I would make is; one was dropped straight into the deep end of the plot but as this is a sequel, the plot was probably well developed in the first book, so my comments are a tad academic, and would only 'hold water' if the book was a stand alone entity. As regards negative comments, well, glass houses and throwing stones come to mind, and as to the minutiae of grammar once a book is accepted by a publisher their editors are paid to iron these things out . As it is, you are constructing a good read which I suppose is the primary objective of any aspiring writer. Good luck with it Cyrus and I look forward to reading more!

Thanks for the comment - much appreciated -Cyrus[QUOTE] Great setting. You've captured the place and time and mood of the era. Your writing flows so well. The German words solidify the milieu and also create an unavoidable intensity. Good pace with the language rhythm. Some descriptions deliver such a powerful image, i.e., "Odette had lived through the Great war and she understood that in such times neighbours could betray neighbours for half a sack of flour." Wow. Donna No Kiss Good-bye [ENDQUOTE]

Great setting. You've captured the place and time and mood of the era. Your writing flows so well. The German words solidify the milieu and also create an unavoidable intensity. Good pace with the language rhythm. Some descriptions deliver such a powerful image, i.e., "Odette had lived through the Great war and she understood that in such times neighbours could betray neighbours for half a sack of flour." Wow. Donna No Kiss Good-bye

Hey I quite enjoyed what you have up so far. Though it is not what I would normally read I really loved the story. One thing that bothered me is that a lot of common nouns were capitalized. I found the descriptions really vivid and exciting; the book drew me in. - Bree

I laughed out loud when Franck crashed the motorbike, excellent! JS

Hi Cyrus I read Chapter 3. I enjoyed reading your work, I found it easy to follow and very interesting and I loved the suspence around the motorbike. Your descriptive skills are very good, and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Kind Regards Lenny Banks: Tide and Time: At The Rock. I would appreciate a return read and any comments, if you are able to able to return the favour.

I found this chapter easier to read than the first, exciting stuff, this will definitly keep me reading. What about Hellion 1 and are you planning any more after this. I can see this story unfolding on the big screen you paint such great pictures Andy

What a great read. I have backed your work with pleasure & 6 stars. I will return with a more detailed comment soon.

Just read JT McInnis comments - I urge you to consider these carefully - this guy is bright!

Cyrus, This is Jeff again. Just a note about technical issues here. Typos and such you might catch anyway. But realize I find your writing very good, except for these syntax issues. How you combine words and phrases is very good, I think. You seem to capitalize common nouns that are not normally capitalized, like "Eugenics", "Soldier", "Totalitarian", and "Doctor". I don't know what kind of punctuation you're used to, but your writing is full of comma splices, when you join two independent clauses in one sentence with only a comma. Sometimes this is acceptable, I suppose, when the two clauses are short and seem to flow together, but you do it quite frequently. You seem to be using the comma as a multi-purpose mark of punctuation, when you could (or should) use a semi-colon, or a colon, or a period (full-stop). Here is an example of what I consider a properly punctuated passage. Compare it to your original and see what you think: "There was a heavy, brutal-looking soldier who wore an embellished leather breast plate. He reminded the girl of a plough ox: thick, strong and dangerous." Again, excellent description, as usual, but check your punctuation carefully. In a bit of chp. 2, I don't like the general use of the 2nd-person "you" in a third-person narrative. I don't want to be reminded of myself, even technically, in a third-person narrative. I want to stay in the world you're creating without being reminded at all of myself. "an unthinking event" , not "a unthinking" "was the Halles", not "were the Halles" . In the next sentence you make clear that the Halles is singular. "discover about him" not "discover out about him" that song that Solange was taught by her grandmother: quite saucy! Do Norman grandmothers usually teach such songs to their grand-daughters? If so, OK, but wouldn't happen in my neck of the woods! Here is another example of punctuation issues. Compare to your original. "However, it wasn't this man; he was not the watcher. It was definitely a girl. Besides, this one was too old." There is a paragraph in chapter 2 that begins with "Therefore". X therefore Y. I don't see the X that leads to Y here. OK. Just a few things I noticed here. See what you think. But again, I think your writing and descriptive talents are very good!

Cyrus, Sorry it's taken so long, but have finally had time to get into this. Could I please give you a suggestion regarding the folk who complain about the detail here, and who want more dialogue? Consider ignoring them. I think they say more about their own taste than on the quality of your book, as a child might complain of stout because it is not sugar water, or of a good steak because it is not cotton-candy. I have loved what I've read so far. It is entirely engaging. Your descriptions give the story a palpable atmosphere. It is certainly the kind of story a reader can get lost in. And that's good, not bad, in my book. I think the amount of dialogue is just fine as it is. You set your scenes extremely well, so that everything is more real when people do talk. It just seems very real. I like it. I'm fascinated with this whole mystery about what Himmler and the 19 are up to, and how that will affect this young German officer and the girl. The supernatural element that comes in with Solange seems more real, but no less magical, because you have painted such a realistic, believable setting beforehand. Please don't let the minimalists change your mind. Leave them to their tastes. Sugar water is not the only kind of drink in the world. I think this is excellent so far. This is perhaps the most engaging book I've come across on this site so far. I'd like to read more. Highest ratings and bookshelf for me. Jeff McInnis--Betwixt the Trees

Too, too much information at the beginning. Restructure. Start with "So we know the last sighting of the woman..." This is a beginning that will get me turning pages. Add the historical detail later or in passing--don't put us to sleep. Remember, once the viewers are seated in the theater they won't likely leave.

Hello, Cyrus Hood – Hellion 2 As I said to another member, I find it hard to read text here that I would not normally read. However, I did have a look and realised a LOT of research would have gone into your story. I admire that, especially when there are always plenty of people keen to pounce on incorrect details. I would have liked to see more dialogue as at first I felt like I was reading a textbook (I do read these as in my profile!). However, here we are looking at leisure reading. All I can say is that the words flowed for me; I did not feel the pace was too slow/fast, which often occurs for new authors. I believe this is because we are focussing on one paragraph at a time as it takes a whole other skill to "see" how the whole book is panning out. Good luck as I feel you are on to something here. Jane Mauret (formerly Shannahan)

hello Cyrus, This is an interesting book which hooks the reader with unusual but realistic details in the characterisations. I have only read to the end of the second chapter but have placed it on my watchlist to dip into it again. I am very interested in WWII history which really did change the world in many more ways than people immediately understand. It is a huge canvas to work with.Take care, Steve.

Very nicely written and a great mixture of fact and fiction. Himmler makes an outstanding villain but I hope you bring in Heydrich and Eichmann at later stages as they are also fascinating characters. As a side note I would recommend reading Rudolf Hoess' biography covering his time as the commandant of Auschwitz. It may or may not be totally relevant to your story but it gives a great insight into the mind of one of the main men "on the ground" during the Final Solution and if I remember right has some good insights on Himmler.

Hi John, this is just a draft at the moment, could you give me a clue please regards Cyrus[QUOTE] Chapter 5 needs a little tidying up JS [ENDQUOTE]

Chapter 5 needs a little tidying up JS

I found this a little difficult to follow Cyrus- please clarify JS

I always enjoy to see how one can take history and create a fictional world around it. Along with the fair amount of research and carefulness to detail, the story is professionally written. WWII themes are a favorite of mine. Himmler is perhaps my most favorite character to ever come across within this subject. He is one of those people you love to hate. His internal monologue on the Jew, Postyshev, is spectacular. His reasoning behind hating Postyshev and yet needing him due to his intelligence is a nice trait for a villain. I am not an expert on the subject nor am I capable of correcting anything here if it is historically inaccurate, I do find it from what little I know to be true to history in such aspects as places and events. I am interested to see where this goes and wish you the best of luck in your well written novel.

Cy, how about rewriting this with some more dialogue? The fridge

I read the first two chapters last night. Great stuff with excellent attention to detail. As someone with what has been called an "unhealthy" interest in the Third Reich, and in particular the SS and the Final Solution I knew that I would like this providing it was reasonably well written. And fortunately it was. The only comments I have to make are that I would l have liked to know who a few more of the Nineteen were, as I think you only introduced 3 (I hope you have an Englishman in there!) and I also felt that at times things could have been explained in dialogue just to break up the text. Overall though a great start and it certainly fits into the "if I didn't have 30 odd owed reads I'd read more" category. Best wishes, James

Started re-reading, I think this should go to an editor now for polishing up JS

I think this chapter should be longer, string out tension between Jurgen and the commandant and I will re-comment JS

Cyrus, I had to add that i have done some research on the back ground of your work and have to agree there is a sound basis to this work - well done! JS

Cyrus, I am enjoying the interaction between Jurgen and the commandant- this is real writing, and it has a genuine feel to the dialogue- I have decided to award 6 stars to your book and am promoting it on the 'something for the weekend' option. JS

Thanks Emily Cyrus[QUOTE] Read the first chapter, but Authonomy keeps giving me an error when I try to read on! I'm very intrigued by the setup in the first chapter. I very rarely read historical fiction, so for me to want to continue on is saying a lot. The only suggestion I can make is to watch for repetition of words. It doesn't happen often, but there are quite a few 'just's that aren't needed. Really enjoyed what I was able to read and will try to read some more if the site cooperates. :-) [ENDQUOTE]

Read the first chapter, but Authonomy keeps giving me an error when I try to read on! I'm very intrigued by the setup in the first chapter. I very rarely read historical fiction, so for me to want to continue on is saying a lot. The only suggestion I can make is to watch for repetition of words. It doesn't happen often, but there are quite a few 'just's that aren't needed. Really enjoyed what I was able to read and will try to read some more if the site cooperates. :-)

Give me more this is great! JS

This isn't the kind of book I usually read, but I found your first chapter to be extremely well-written and absorbing. You bring us right into Himmler's way of thinking about the world, and your descriptions vividly bring the setting of the time to life. There does seem to be a lot of exposition in the opening chapter, but as I don't write historical fiction I'm not sure I'm the best judge! Regardless, this is an intriguing mystery with an interesting theme, and I wish you the best of luck with it! Highly starred. Emma

Thanks for the kind comments April- I will take them on board regards Cyrus[QUOTE] Cyrus, You have obviously done a lot of homework with this novel and do a good job giving us the lay of the land. Perhaps a little too good. Your exposition is done very well, but there is so much of it. Despite the thoroughness of the interesting details, I felt my attention wandering. I think your opening chapters would benefit if you added in more action and dialog to the exposition. You know the old saying, 'Everything in moderation'. Overall, the characters and story premise is very intriguing. You do a good job adding in those little things that compel the reader to continue on and like the disk and the 'seer'. Thank you so much for sharing! April Gray The Illusion [ENDQUOTE]

Cyrus, You have obviously done a lot of homework with this novel and do a good job giving us the lay of the land. Perhaps a little too good. Your exposition is done very well, but there is so much of it. Despite the thoroughness of the interesting details, I felt my attention wandering. I think your opening chapters would benefit if you added in more action and dialog to the exposition. You know the old saying, 'Everything in moderation'. Overall, the characters and story premise is very intriguing. You do a good job adding in those little things that compel the reader to continue on and like the disk and the 'seer'. Thank you so much for sharing! April Gray The Illusion

Hi Cyrus I really enjoyed this read, and applaud your boldness in adding some fictional reasons behind some real-life history: historical fiction can often fall flat because it focuses on the fictional elements, but your treatment is respectful, while remaining gripping in all the best possible ways. In some of your earlier chapters, there are quite a few longer paragraphs; the later chapters show a great flair for dialogue, and I'd love to see that come through in the earlier chapters. There's certainly an opportunity there to make the opening paragraph really gripping by shortening those paragraphs and giving the characters some really interesting dialogue. (but that could just be me...I love dialogue far too much.) Loved the read, and looking forward to seeing more of the game! Ken

Hi Cyrus This would certainly not be my normal choice of genre but I'm happy to have left my comfort zone. The description and attention to detail is fabulous. I cannot begin to imagine how much research you must have done to create this. You certainly deserve to do well. Good luck! Chrissie

Historical fiction isn't something I'd usually read, but the attention to detail really brings this to life and makes it an enjoyable read. It's always fascinating to get into the mindset of someone as notoriously terrible as Himmler, and I think you explore it really well. I'm not hugely well read on historical fiction as I've already said, so I may not be the most qualified to comment, but I think one of the biggest drawbacks for this genre is the fact that its difficult to manufacture any originality. You have to take what already exists and try and present it in your own way. Having said that, I think you've done an excellent job and there might just be a niche for this. All the best with it.

Thanks for the comment, very kind Cyrus[QUOTE] I am here to return your read. Historical Fiction is not a genre I would normally seek to read, but you spin a good tale and it held my interest. I did find a couple of things. Auth Ch 4/Your Ch 3: ‘Yeah that’s him Sherriff, that’s Jean-Mik!’. (should be a , after ‘Yeah’ / ‘Sheriff’ should only have one ‘R’ [this is a recurrent misspelling throughout] / remove either the ! or the . after ‘Jean-Mik.’) Overall, a good read and I wish you all the best, Cyrus. Madison [ENDQUOTE]

I am here to return your read. Historical Fiction is not a genre I would normally seek to read, but you spin a good tale and it held my interest. I did find a couple of things. Auth Ch 4/Your Ch 3: ‘Yeah that’s him Sherriff, that’s Jean-Mik!’. (should be a , after ‘Yeah’ / ‘Sheriff’ should only have one ‘R’ [this is a recurrent misspelling throughout] / remove either the ! or the . after ‘Jean-Mik.’) Overall, a good read and I wish you all the best, Cyrus. Madison

I read your first two chapters. General comments: An intriguing start. A fascinating ensemble of central characters. Well-rendered descriptions. Strong sense of place and time. Intense tension. Crisp pacing that propelled me forward. Specific comments on the first chapter: 1) 'That is indeed a very bold plan brother.' Comma after 'plan.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with a comma. 2) Good end of chapter hook. Specific comments on the second chapter: 1) ' ... and grinned at the tall Leutnant sat next to him.' 'Leutnant' is a common noun and, as such, should be lowercase. There are more cases of military rank and political office being capitalized when they should be lowercase. 2) Hyphenate 'fresh faced'. 3) 'Some of the soldier's stahlhelms clinked together ... ' Soldier's (singular possessive) should be soldiers' (plural possessive). 4) 'Jurgen, the Leutnant carried himself like a man 10 years older, ... ' Spell out numbers 1-99. There are more cases in this chapter where numbers should be spelled out. 5) Hyphenate 'blue painted'. 6) 'Jurgen felt a shiver run up the back of his neck and was jolted by the sensation.' Try to avoid using the word 'felt.' Just describe the shiver so vividly the reader will experience it along with Jurgen. When you do this, the reader will be drawn deeper into the scene. 7) 'Mayor,' 'Priest,' 'Doctor,' and 'Notaire' are common nouns and should be lowercase. 8) The Priest was nearly pissing himself with fright and said 'Ich spreche etwas ... ' Comma after 'said.' 9) 'What happened here Leutnant?' Comma after 'here.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with a comma. 10) 'Right, put that gun away Franck and get back to the squad' Put a comma before and after 'Franck.' As mentioned above, when you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with commas. There are more cases later on in the chapter where you address someone and didn't offset their name or title with commas. Also, put a period after 'squad.' I hope these comments help you further polish your all important opening chapters. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest. Would you please take a look at "Savannah Oak" and let me know how I might improve it? Have a marvelous day, Cyrus. Al

Cyrus, I just read the group of 19 section before the book turns to Normandy and must say you have wonderful attention to detail, from the coldness of the building where the group was meeting to the callous and far too human characteristics of these real life monsters. The twisted thing of it is I'm sure Himmler and the other architects of the final solution really did get together and revel in the mathematical efficiency with which they carried out the worst crime in human history. So far this is very good, you've taken real figures and made them your own which is exactly what you want to do with historical fiction. Also as a historian I applaud your efforts to balance accuracy with storytelling. The only thing I saw was a line which goes "The administration was a shambles" when I think you meant "in shambles" Other than that this is a great start and I look forward to reading more. Cheers, Sean

This is a war drama at its best, not all blood and guts but a real story running through with characters you can relate to. 6* from me can't wait to see the film, excellent stuff.

Generally love historical fiction and ancient relics. However, I am not a fan of the war era captured in your story. I do feel it is well-written, although I think, a little more dialogue is needed in chapter two to help move the narrative story along. Your characters are strong, and I do love the premise. WW2 is just not my cup of tea...sorry. Linda Threads of Time

Thanks Lucy, Cyrus[QUOTE] Hellion 2 The idea of the disc in the first chapter is horribly fascinating. Very well-edited and smoothly written. In the second chapter, the idea of someone from a farm counting whatever is in front of him naturally is very clever. Two different characters are described in this chapter as already having seen the horrors of war, which is probably one too many. Just a note on style, especially in the first section. Most of the sentences start “The” or “A” which is unusual enough to be noticeable. Perhaps it’s deliberate, but I found it distracting. I’ve been reading so many YA and children’s books recently that this has been a pleasant change. It’s well-researched and atmospheric. Highly starred. Lucy [ENDQUOTE]

Hellion 2 The idea of the disc in the first chapter is horribly fascinating. Very well-edited and smoothly written. In the second chapter, the idea of someone from a farm counting whatever is in front of him naturally is very clever. Two different characters are described in this chapter as already having seen the horrors of war, which is probably one too many. Just a note on style, especially in the first section. Most of the sentences start “The” or “A” which is unusual enough to be noticeable. Perhaps it’s deliberate, but I found it distracting. I’ve been reading so many YA and children’s books recently that this has been a pleasant change. It’s well-researched and atmospheric. Highly starred. Lucy

An interesting and effective blend of the mystical set against the very real drama of WW2. There is a convergent story line, and the characters are rounded, with good personality contrasts set up in the early chapters, particularly between Jurgen and the odious Franck. There is a well-crafted feeling about the novel and a strong 'story-telling approach', which I found worked well, although I felt some dialogue was needed in first section of ch. 2 to break up the exposition nature of the work. Maybe some cynical conversations between the soldiers, or even the thoughts of Jurgen and/or Franck put into words, would break up the descriptions Another commentator has mentioned that the novel could start with the arrival of the soldiers in the village. I feel this might be worth trying, as I liked the gripping & taut edginess of this section of the book. Minor stuff: The author might want to rethink starting ch. 2 without the 'A slip of a girl' description, as this is a rather cliched expression, and I'm never quite sure what it means anyway! In ch. 1 (prologue) at the end of this chapter the characters were talking in the present tense about the imminent invasion of France, so I felt that 'he has never forgiven the French' would connect more naturally with the tense, rather than 'He never forgave the French'. Overall, most interesting, and certainly well-written.

I like this a lot. The fantasy is so well grounded in the realism of the WW2 scenes ! Beautifully described and the characters are believable and engaging. I find the fantasy element believable as it is explained by Odette. The sudden shifting of the scene to America ought to be disconcerting but actually it works well. I haven't any crit. to give as I was just enjoying the read. The only thing that jarred very slightly was the use of the word ghouls in chapter one, which seemed a bit like stating the obvious. However, maybe you need it as it seems to be used almost as a technical term for enemies in Odette's explanation. Has Book 1 been on authonomy? I fairly new so I might have missed it. Great read. When I eventually fnd a space on my bookshelf I will add Hellion for a bit. Six stars.

I was intrigued by what I have read so far. The details are very well written and stay true to the time period of history. The first chapter left me hanging with several questions but that is not always bad. I feel that the second chapter had more pull and character building. The seer added a special touch. I then read about the Cajun and was enthralled by how he would eventually play into the book. I’m taken in by the story and plan to add it to my watch list as well as read more of it later. Excellent book.

Hi Cyrus, I read the first few chapters of your book and found it very engaging. The writing style is strong and I think the addition of the German language adds credibility (although I don't speak it!). I'm a little uneasy with the use of real Nazis, especially Himmler as you will need to be 100% accurate on this well documented real creature in a plot that is largely fictional. His involvement with Hitler and the Final Solution is bumpy territory for a fiction writer, to say the least. A soldier (fictious?) under Himmler's rank might be an easier hedge on history. The use of fictional Nazis in Raiders of the lost Ark followed this approach. The jade disc sparked interest with me, although the review on the corpse count every ten years seemed a little long (bit of a hypothetical debate, this one!). Also I'd remove 'was an asshole' and simply use the German soldier's name (and English translation) as it is more effective as a third person reference rather than a narrator's opinion. I think you have the basis for a good book here and I'm keeping it watchlisted and awaiting new installments! best regards Andrew Esposito / Killing Paradise

Paul, best bit of advice i've had ' watch out for the was-lings' thank you Cyrus[QUOTE] Cyrus, I read a few chapters of Hellion2. An intriguing premise, although a little tricky diving into the second of the series without reading the first. I was unsure about the speculation about Himmler in the prologue - assume this is a central piece to the plot development and perhaps aimed at giving the reader a catch-up from the first book? In terms of story dynamics, I would have preferred this to be drip fed into the story later and the novel to just start with your first chapter action (posted as Chapter 2) in the Normandy village which I thought was atmospheric and well crafted. Some nice writing here and a hook in terms of the Tarin girl and the relic which draws one in. I felt you could benefit from an edit to sharpen up the writing, taking out the was-lings ('he was walking' is always more dynamic as 'he walked'), some of the had's, and repetition of observation, since the underlying story is gripping and has potential. Good luck with this. Paul Dead Moon Rising [ENDQUOTE]

Cyrus, I read through the seven chapters you have posted here. I like the concept and you are setting up what seems to be a good story. I do think, however, that the book spends too much time on the "set-up" I'm ready to get into the plot. I didn't love the first chapter - a speculation about Himmler, his life is well documented, and he didn't seem to have any part in the plot. Phil

Cyrus, I have started your book and so far find it excellent! You have a wonderful and smooth stlye in which have allowed the chapters to flow. Have not spotted any typos yet, and maybe there are none! I've put your book onto my book shelf and will be reading more soon. Full set of stars. Appreciate it if you would read my book also. 'The Absurd Secret Diary Of An Unborn Baby.' Thanks

Thanks David, funny how you miss these little things. Thanks for your comments and I will of course continue to support your excellent work regards Cyrus [QUOTE] Cyrus, I've finally read chapter 1, and it seems to me (out of my genre comfort zone) that you are off to a promising start. I really like the central image of the jade disc - the humble object that drives the madness of the assembled loonies. And there is of course a huge market for such stories. As ever, my abilities as a fiction reader tend to lie in the editing department, and there are several things you need to look at, if you want to apply that final polish. At the end of first paragraph, you don't need the comma after 'the Nazi was'. I don't think you need the repetition of the 'The Reichskommissar hated all Jews' when you have got that point across very strongly in the previous sentence. In the sentence beginning 'On a personal note Postyshev...' etc, you have used 3 'hads' which comes across as a bit clumsy. (And there are several more 'hads' in the remainder of the para.) I'm sure you can re-phrase the sentence and lose at least one 'had'. You could simply cut the second 'had' for a better flow. In the same para, you are missing the 'a' in 'an' in the sentence beginning 'Himmler also judged this..'. In the sentence starting 'It not only pulled the thorn from his side..' you don't need the 'was' in the second part. You are missing 'he' in the first sentence of last para. Please let me know if any of this helps. David [ENDQUOTE]

Cyrus, I've finally read chapter 1, and it seems to me (out of my genre comfort zone) that you are off to a promising start. I really like the central image of the jade disc - the humble object that drives the madness of the assembled loonies. And there is of course a huge market for such stories. As ever, my abilities as a fiction reader tend to lie in the editing department, and there are several things you need to look at, if you want to apply that final polish. At the end of first paragraph, you don't need the comma after 'the Nazi was'. I don't think you need the repetition of the 'The Reichskommissar hated all Jews' when you have got that point across very strongly in the previous sentence. In the sentence beginning 'On a personal note Postyshev...' etc, you have used 3 'hads' which comes across as a bit clumsy. (And there are several more 'hads' in the remainder of the para.) I'm sure you can re-phrase the sentence and lose at least one 'had'. You could simply cut the second 'had' for a better flow. In the same para, you are missing the 'a' in 'an' in the sentence beginning 'Himmler also judged this..'. In the sentence starting 'It not only pulled the thorn from his side..' you don't need the 'was' in the second part. You are missing 'he' in the first sentence of last para. Please let me know if any of this helps. David

Wow, Cyrus. I just read the first chapter and it does have traces of Clive Cussler. I'd usually read more before posting feedback, but I can already tell that I'll like this. In fact, "Hellion 2" is going straight to my shelf. I can't wait to read the whole thing! Shaun Holt Waiting for the Rain / German Derelict / Columbian Death

Cyrus, it looks like Hellion 2 is shaping into a great book. I normally don't read historical works, but after reading this I have to ask myself 'what else have I been missing?'. Right from the first chapter you set the scene so the reader is left wanting more. "Himmler developed a theory that the best and worst human qualities could be selected and developed scientifically." Oh no, I thought, so this is how one of the worst times in mankind's history began? Very good work. Fast paced. Kept me inerested and wanting more. Sylvia Talo Deadly Dot Com Revenge

What is chapter qqq - is it not designated? Characters building well I guess you will do the works on the priest. excellent JS

Thanks again Fridge cheers Cyrus[QUOTE] Cyrus, Just read your new chapter seven straight through - give us more please the Fridge [ENDQUOTE]

Cyrus, Just read your new chapter seven straight through - give us more please the Fridge

Thanks fridge - cool comment, though i expect you have heard that before Cyrus[QUOTE] This is just excellent story Cyrus, I feel like I am there. Looks like you did plenty of research before you wrote this. I found the paragraphs a little short if anything - is this a work in progress? I have never been to Normandy but may now take a trip over there this summer - thinking about the D-Day celebrations this year. However, I really enjoyed this work and look forward to reading some more -any chance of posting a few more chapters? The Fridge [ENDQUOTE]

This is just excellent story Cyrus, I feel like I am there. Looks like you did plenty of research before you wrote this. I found the paragraphs a little short if anything - is this a work in progress? I have never been to Normandy but may now take a trip over there this summer - thinking about the D-Day celebrations this year. However, I really enjoyed this work and look forward to reading some more -any chance of posting a few more chapters? The Fridge

I hope this Franck dies a horrible death, he is a complete bastard. Finished chapter 6 now- is there any chance that you will post some more chapters - I need to find out what happens. I can picture the tiny hill top village and the street bars with all the peasants who can't afford any food - I think your descriptions are top notch old boy! Good writing John Saville

Thank you very much for your kind words- much appreciated Cyrus[QUOTE] Cyrus, all I can say is that you took my breath with ch 1. I am hooked. Your descriptions put me in the room with two characters I would never want to meet. I liked how you introduced them and began their development. The sentences flowed super well for me. A couple of times I found myself reading breathless. I think the writing is tight and moves at just the right pace. The subject resonates strongly with me, having grown up in communist Romania. I'll be back tomorrow for more. High stars from me, Cyrus, this is great writing. TDonna (No Kiss Good-bye) [ENDQUOTE]

Cyrus, all I can say is that you took my breath with ch 1. I am hooked. Your descriptions put me in the room with two characters I would never want to meet. I liked how you introduced them and began their development. The sentences flowed super well for me. A couple of times I found myself reading breathless. I think the writing is tight and moves at just the right pace. The subject resonates strongly with me, having grown up in communist Romania. I'll be back tomorrow for more. High stars from me, Cyrus, this is great writing. TDonna (No Kiss Good-bye)

Without doubt this story is written after very careful research and it shows. The 'devil in in the detail' and you are careful to make this authentic without overloading the reader. Some of the narrative is quite 'brittle' and that is a perfect foil for the subject matter you have chosen for this book. I did make the mistake of not realising the first chapter was in fact a prologue and therefore for me too solid in narrative so my attention wandered a little - just me you understand. However, that apart you will hook many readers of war stories with a well crafted tale and skilful writing. Starred. Margaret.

Hellion 2 Cyrus Hood This is not my type of genre at all, so I admittedly came into this expecting to simply give you my view on writing style, grammar, etc. To my surprise though, I was quickly drawn into your story. You create such a vivid narrative that it feels like a true account of history. Also, I realise this a second book in a series, but I did not feel like I was missing information since I have not read the first in the series. I do not know if these characters carry over from book one, but you introduce them well and it does not feel as though there are loose threads that seem unconnected as can easily happen in a follow up novel. A few things I spotted which you may want to look at: Prologue: 'This was also was one of the most secure buildings in the Reich.' '....certain that nobody would eavesdrop the meeting.' (eavesdrop on the meeting) Chapter 1 '...beret squahsed on to his head The old gent had a look... (missing a fullstop between 'head' and 'The') use 'now' three times in the space of two paragraphs. IMO it breaks the flow of the narrative to say 'now he did this or that or noticed this or that.' I try to avoid using it when possible, but that is just my opinion of course. I really enjoyed this read and I wish you all the best with it. Highly starred! Tania Johansson Book of Remembrance

Hellion 2. Your pitches are just a statement of what happens, and you refer to a previous book, which can be off-putting, when a reviewer hasnt read it. Maybe if you introduced insights into the characters, and had touches of emotion, you would lure readers in better. It is only on reading into your book that I appreciate the reference to Himmler's mindset. Maybe that would be better left out of the pitch? But it's your book...! I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert. I also notice nits - hope you dont mind. Ch.1. (Auth). A start which sets the scene and the period with well researched detail, and contains an introduction to what I presume is a main character, Himmler. Do you want nits? I couldnt help noticing the number of adjectives in your first sentence! They grow fewer as the chapter progresses, but you might want to give them some thought on your next edit, and eliminate the unnecessary ones. Also, if you did a search on all the 'was's in your story, you may see the need to rectify too much repetition. You describe Himmler's surmised philosophy very clearly and plausibly. Somebody once pointed out to me that even the villains in a story should have their reasons for acting as they do... The paragraphs using the pluperfect tense are somewhat ponderous - all those 'had's. Ch.2. The scene with the dog is a brilliant, powerful way of showing the inexorable cruelty of invaders, and the deadpan acquiescence of those conditioned to suffer violation. And the sensation of a watcher adds suspense. Ch.3. More is revealed about the watcher, and a further dimension as added. My curiousity is aroused, and I click on in anticipation. Ch.4. The words 'just' and 'always' are usually unnecessary. I think you'll find your story flows better without them. And maybe a check on the use of adverbs. And words repeated too close together: mud/dy, morning (Ch.5) somewhere. Yet another change of location, but the link to the war in Europe is made, and no doubt everything will soon come satisfactorily together. Ch.5-6. I'm glad we're back with Solange - and you have me enthralled, as the plot progresses. A very promising story, well written and researched. Multi-starred. Thankyou for drawing my attention to it. Jane (Breath of Africa).

Hi Cyrus, I don’t think I’ve ever said this to anybody in my life, but really, I do believe you are a character. I am very impressed with the virtuosity in this piece of writing. Expertly drawn – I can visualise every damn detail and the details are always interesting and necessary. The information is relayed with just the right amount of tension and description to draw the reader into the story that will unfold. As already noted, it seems to be meticulously researched. It also promises sharp and black humor. As a person who is usually averse to reading or watching anything about the second world war, I am finding myself drawn in without the usual objections. A couple of comments and queries: Chapter 2 love the man’s hands on the handlebars/ox, very evocative Have you deliberately chosen to use commas where there should be a dash or a full stop? For example: “…he was not the watcher it was definitely a girl, besides….. (is this punctuation intended here? I would have gone for a dash or full stop after “watcher” and “girl”) LOVE!!!! the “arse with ears” really too funny! Chapter 3 Solange slipped away, she (I’m being a comma Nazi here) … she immediately recognised the rider, it was (full stop?) Be careful child, he may be handsome (and again) “She could never get anything past her grandmother” – do you think you need the rest of the sentence or could you just stop here? As a reader I had already assumed that the grandmother had seen her attraction to the soldier. I like the very different way the first three chapters begin – like three separate vignettes – alligator very interesting. Definitely six stars from me (but I'm still not happy about the commas :-) ) Victoria Hunter Ramadan Sky

This is a well researched and clever book, just finished the chapter 6 and I would like to read more- what abouit Hellion 1. Can I buy this ? JS

Cold, restrained, and well-researched, there's a certain compelling creepiness to this that mirrors the principal characters. I love the objective feel in the face of atrocity. Particularly, I loved the paragraph opener "Franck was an asshole..." most of all, though, your book makes me want to look up the characters. You've captured not only their actions, but their personalities down to the last detail. Six stars, and I'll definitely keep reading.

Was Hellion 1 publishes and when? This read wery well. I had trouble with some of the German laanguage, although some were obvious. My first though was it was going to be like the Indiana J series, which is not a bad thing. However it is different in many ways and i fast paced which most readers love. I givce it four stars. Good luck. Let us know when it is published.

Cyrus, Up to chapter 5 and very much enjoying this - nor much time today so just a short note. Can we have some translation of some of the German text. Is this finished? the fridge

Hello Cyrus. I just wanted to thank you for reading my first chapter and commenting on it. I really enjoyed the prologue of Hellion 2. I think your premise is very interesting, and I was charmed by your storytelling. You write very well. Though I did enjoy your prologue I misread and thought it was the first chapter. I kept waiting for that pow moment. I see now that the meat of the story actually starts on the second page, so I will keep reading. One thing that I've learned is that sometimes the prologue serves no real purpose other than for just setting up the story, but because I do like the situation you've created in your case I'll say you've done a great job.

Thanks very much. kind words Cyrus[QUOTE] Amazing story, I love this character Jean-Mik. Please don't let anything horrible happen to him. Not sure about the tall German but the other one is a swine. Interesting characters throughout this story. Will you be posting more and where can I get the first one? The Fridge [ENDQUOTE]

Amazing story, I love this character Jean-Mik. Please don't let anything horrible happen to him. Not sure about the tall German but the other one is a swine. Interesting characters throughout this story. Will you be posting more and where can I get the first one? The Fridge

Thanks very much, I am really enjoying writing this book Hellion 1 is about half finished at 67k, H3 is finished and H4 is about 50k I will come back to yours this weekend. thanks again Cyrus [QUOTE] HELLION2 What an interesting book! An inside look at the Third Reich. I can’t believe the detail you’ve infused into this: the color of the walls, the French village, the clothing . . . even the phrase “arse with ears.” (My grandfather used to say that; must have been a universal WWII phrase). Chapter 4 was a shock until I realized I was in Louisiana and I was going to get a look at the other side of the war. Makes Jean-Mik a good contrast to the rigid German officers. Overall: this is a really good read. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President? [ENDQUOTE]

HELLION2 What an interesting book! An inside look at the Third Reich. I can’t believe the detail you’ve infused into this: the color of the walls, the French village, the clothing . . . even the phrase “arse with ears.” (My grandfather used to say that; must have been a universal WWII phrase). Chapter 4 was a shock until I realized I was in Louisiana and I was going to get a look at the other side of the war. Makes Jean-Mik a good contrast to the rigid German officers. Overall: this is a really good read. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

I always ignore other comments and only use my own, finding really good books to read not easy, this includes some of the so called front runners, but like V.Moody. Planet Janet, this book gave me a top read, which is overall well thought out, and kept me reading on, obviously well researched. Does need some cleaning up, but would love to know when more is posted because I will be back to read on. Portraits Of A Small Peasant....Phil

Dear Cyrus I have just read the first two chapters of "Hellion" which feels well researched, credible and engrossing. That this is a labour of love for you, is clear from the in-depth descriptions, the detail evident in each chapter. Fluent and thoughtful, your backstory is well known, yet interesting still. I feel this is because you have taken time to invest your scenes with such care and attention to detail, that it would be hard not be pulled into your narrative. Your characterisations are similarly careful, yet not overly filled in - there is plenty for my imagination to do, which I appreciate. There are nice touches of the unexpected - the old French peasant who speaks fluent German, for example - which enliven the script. Occasionally, I felt that some passages are just a little too carefully studied. Yes, this might have happened, but the line of the narrative is at risk of getting lost beneath the detail, for example, in the scene where the confiscation orders are given out. That is only a matter of editing, though. You might like to consider smoothing the narrative in parts where continuity might mean a slight acceleration of pace, to maintain the overall plot line. That there is a spooky edge to this story is evident in the first chapter. But these details seem to be worked smoothly into the more historical aspects of your tale. All the very best with this. You deserve to do well. Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-D

Thank you for your kind words Sharda. yes the chapter structure is not yet cast in stone, I have several others that are not yet allocated. This is where Authonomy is so great, so much positive input. i really appreciate you thoughts and am delighted that you have enjoyed this piece.[QUOTE] Hi Cyrus, you write beautifully. This is clearly very well researched about a fascinating period of European history. As a reader I trust all the historical details and background. You get in to the characters heads well - Himmler in chapter 1 and then Solange etc. I don't have many niggles, and bear in mind I'm probably not your core readership but as interesting as this period is and Himmler's opinions, about half way through Chp 1 I lost a bit of interest (I am quite tired today and it's 1.15 in the morning), because a lot was explained but there was very little action. I'm not an action junkie by any means, but I felt that maybe the second chapter would be better as the first and vice versa, so that there is some human and action element to identify with and grip the reader (it's hard, after all, to identify with Himmler). I see this is the second in the series, so you may have more leeway with this as readers will probably be coming in to it having already read the first one, but it would be nice, at the very least for your characters in chp 1 to get up and walk around a bit. Small niggle, otherwise I thought it was flawless! 5 stars from me, All the best, Sharda. http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/ [ENDQUOTE]

Hi Cyrus, you write beautifully. This is clearly very well researched about a fascinating period of European history. As a reader I trust all the historical details and background. You get in to the characters heads well - Himmler in chapter 1 and then Solange etc. I don't have many niggles, and bear in mind I'm probably not your core readership but as interesting as this period is and Himmler's opinions, about half way through Chp 1 I lost a bit of interest (I am quite tired today and it's 1.15 in the morning), because a lot was explained but there was very little action. I'm not an action junkie by any means, but I felt that maybe the second chapter would be better as the first and vice versa, so that there is some human and action element to identify with and grip the reader (it's hard, after all, to identify with Himmler). I see this is the second in the series, so you may have more leeway with this as readers will probably be coming in to it having already read the first one, but it would be nice, at the very least for your characters in chp 1 to get up and walk around a bit. Small niggle, otherwise I thought it was flawless! 5 stars from me, All the best, Sharda. http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/

Thanks again, no this one is only finished in my head, Hellion 3 is complete, 1 & 4 nearly so. Thanks for the interest Cyrus[QUOTE] I have read the first page of you submission, and I am hooked. I am intrigued by your use of the truth as the subject matter for fiction. I have done this with my latest book. You writing skill is undeniable and I was drawn into you work very easily. I have WL you book and will read the other pages before commenting fully, but if the rest is as good as the first page, I will be engrossed. Is the book finished? [ENDQUOTE]

Thanks very much Cyrus [QUOTE] i only commend on the story not any errors i might come along. it is a very intersting story and i read all the chapters none stop. Solange, Jurgen and the Commandant are going to have a handfull with Franck and i am looking forward to read how the axe is going to defeat the brotherhood. i have put you on my watch list and gave it a good rating. "TO KILL A MAN TWICE." [ENDQUOTE]

Thanks very much Cyrus [QUOTE] i only commend on the story not any errors i might come along. it is a very intersting story and i read all the chapters none stop. Solange, Jurgen and the Commandant are going to have a handfull with Franck and i am looking forward to read how the axe is going to defeat the brotherhood. i have put you on my watch list and gave it a good rating. "TO KILL A MAN TWICE." [ENDQUOTE]

I have read the first page of you submission, and I am hooked. I am intrigued by your use of the truth as the subject matter for fiction. I have done this with my latest book. You writing skill is undeniable and I was drawn into you work very easily. I have WL you book and will read the other pages before commenting fully, but if the rest is as good as the first page, I will be engrossed. Is the book finished?

i only commend on the story not any errors i might come along. it is a very intersting story and i read all the chapters none stop. Solange, Jurgen and the Commandant are going to have a handfull with Franck and i am looking forward to read how the axe is going to defeat the brotherhood. i have put you on my watch list and gave it a good rating. "TO KILL A MAN TWICE."

Thanks Ken for your kind words, I have noticed your profile and will get round to having a look at your books soon. best regards Cyrus [QUOTE] Cyrus, This work of historical fiction is captivating, to say the least. Starting off with Himmler and his cohorts contemplating the possibilites of a mysterious jade disc while playing a game of bodycount, trying to outrank each other in number of people killed outside the field of combat, is mindboggling. From that point on, it's feverish page-turning, like entering Auschwitz and going from chamber to chamber, anticipating and finding one form of bestiality after another. Horror is fascinating. Your prose is finely crafted, your dialogue adroit. Thank you so much for the intriguing read. Kenneth Edward Lim The North Korean [ENDQUOTE]

Cyrus, This work of historical fiction is captivating, to say the least. Starting off with Himmler and his cohorts contemplating the possibilites of a mysterious jade disc while playing a game of bodycount, trying to outrank each other in number of people killed outside the field of combat, is mindboggling. From that point on, it's feverish page-turning, like entering Auschwitz and going from chamber to chamber, anticipating and finding one form of bestiality after another. Horror is fascinating. Your prose is finely crafted, your dialogue adroit. Thank you so much for the intriguing read. Kenneth Edward Lim The North Korean

Thanks very much. Cyrus [QUOTE] Hi Cyrus I've read the prologue and first chapter. A good start. Intriguing. I want to know more. I noticed that in your description of Franck, you have "lead" instead of "led". Highly starred. If I have an opportunity, I'll come back for more! All the best Fr. Ambrose [ENDQUOTE]

Hi Cyrus I've read the prologue and first chapter. A good start. Intriguing. I want to know more. I noticed that in your description of Franck, you have "lead" instead of "led". Highly starred. If I have an opportunity, I'll come back for more! All the best Fr. Ambrose

Thank you for your kind comments Cyrus [QUOTE] An amusing, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated. [ENDQUOTE]

An amusing, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Wow, an excellent tale, I read all six chapters in one sitting. Are there more volumes available? This is brilliant stuff, you are clearly writing about a subject for which you care dearly and know masses about. i am intrigued by this conspiracy concept of the nineteen 'horribles'. I can see the connection you make , I too have wondered what sparked the Nazi's hatred of the Jewish people, and others. I would sure like to read the first book in this story. Any chance it is available electronically? Keep it up! JS

Thanks so much for backing me and your kind comments. The description of the farmhouse is our place near Juvigny. Hellion 3 is complete and based around modern times, but the volume you are reading is incomplete just now. I really love France and have not yet met a Frenchman I don't like. The place just reeks of history and it is just a delight to live and work there. My dream would be to build a writer's retreat in our garden, a place for authors to recover and rejuvenate. Have to leave that thought until I retire. Thanks again for the comment I will come back to yours very soon. All the best Cyrus [QUOTE] Hi Cyrus, I read the first four chapters enthralled love it! I have put you on my bookshelf and will read more soon. This is compelling reading for anyone especially if you live in Normandy-many times I have tried to imagine what it would have been like. With best wishes to you Karamak FAKING IT IN FRANCE. [ENDQUOTE]

Hi Cyrus, I read the first four chapters enthralled love it! I have put you on my bookshelf and will read more soon. This is compelling reading for anyone especially if you live in Normandy-many times I have tried to imagine what it would have been like. With best wishes to you Karamak FAKING IT IN FRANCE.