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written 586 days ago
cherry

Well done, I loved it. I can't put it down.

Mark

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written 586 days ago
cherry

I loved it, well done. I can't put it down!

mark view book

written 603 days ago
cherry

I enjoyed what I read. I was a little confused at first by the significance of the prologue and then building the story from that point.
I would not agree with all the grammatical correction comments below, but would agree with others; so might suggest being selective on what attention you give them. I found your style, just that!

Good luck with this.

Mark view book

written 604 days ago
cherry

Lenny, I read Ch1-3, 10 & 14.I love the quality of your work. I can see why others struggled to fit it into a particular genre. A word of warning, if Michael Hyatt and Terry Whalin are to be believed, and the answer is they are, don't try and make up a combo genre, just because it fits across multiples. It is either YA fiction or something else. view book

written 655 days ago
cherry

I wonder, it says the work is complete, yet only just over 10,000 words; is this right? Maybe there is more, I hope so! view book

written 655 days ago
cherry

I would like to see more before giving any real comment. I would say that there is some good content, but for me would want it more punchy. There are a lot of examples from others, I wonder if the rest of your work is strong enough for others to use in their next books?
Well done though. view book

written 655 days ago
cherry

I think you have done a very good job here. I can see the attention to detail and how you draw the reader in. view book

written 660 days ago
cherry

This is a good read, well thought out and executed. I cannot offer any comments on what might need improving.

There is one thing bothering me; I struggling to see this in use. Not that it won't be used, just that I am struggling to see it in use. I wonder if you have shared this self-help with a Church organisation; who may be your distribution channels?

Mark view book

written 666 days ago
cherry

The pain is obvious, however would agree with isylumn. There is a great deal of work to be done, but with time spent and assistance on how to get your message across, this will be a great story that must be told.
Well done for putting yourself out there. view book

written 671 days ago
cherry

Only a blind publisher would not see this as very marketable material. I struggled to read this at times, as I was travelling on public transport and would have been arrested for laughing so much. I loved it and want any prospective parent to read it. My wife and I had 5 children and fostered as well. The mayhem you talk about, only a parent would understand. view book

written 671 days ago
cherry

Only a blind publisher would not see this as very marketable material. I struggled to read this at times, as I was travelling on public transport and would have been arrested for laughing so much. I loved it and want any prospective parent to read it. My wife and I had 5 children and fostered as well. The mayhem you talk about, only a parent would understand. view book

written 672 days ago
cherry

Well done, I haven't finished reading, but want to say that I would back this thought provoking and heart felt word. view book

written 672 days ago
cherry

I think you know this is still a little raw. I wonder if you can partner with an experienced writer, to produce a quality piece? I think you also know that the Lord has called you to pass on your story, so you need to do what ever it takes to get it published.
Well done and I will back this, not because it is ready, but to show it has great potential. view book

written 673 days ago
cherry

I would ask you to please get connected with an English editor/proofreader. This story has such potential it must be published. It will take time and effort, but the world will be a better place for having this book within it. view book

written 673 days ago
cherry

I spent the first 14 years of my life in Ross-On-Wye, so the colloquialisms are familiar, in fact I could clearly hear the words being spoken, as if I was 14 again!
It's not my usual sort of read and at times I struggled to keep up with the pace, but well done. view book

written 673 days ago
cherry

I liked the use of colloquialisms and familiar conversational language.
I have to say that in no way do I feel qualified to comment; I would leave qualified critique to published authors in the same field of literacy.
I would however make two observations. I'm not sure about the consistency between the interview transcripts and the characters (sometimes how they spoke in the story seemed different from the police interview).
The other observation is in grammatical's, for example:
"Couldn’t not wish you Happy New Year”
I know this is an area I struggle with.
I found the story an interesting format and wish you well. view book

written 673 days ago
cherry

I wonder how someone like myself can possibly comment on another's work. The author writes what they know, in a way they would want to read and so long as there is a market for the book & it is grammatically correct, it will get published.
This is not the sort of book I would choose to read, but that makes no difference to the detailed crafting that has gone into this piece.
I wish you the best and am sure this would do very well. view book

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