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Heisenberg

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first registered 14.03.10

last online 37 days ago

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about me

I was born, raised, schooled, clothed and corrupted in Manchester, England. These acts of tutelage, terror and tenderness began in the summer of 1967.

Over the many, many years since my birth I have been an A grade removalist, C grade student, bar owner, car owner, castle erector, curator of geeks and beauty queens, and have managed to retain the majority of my own teeth.

I have penned numerous jaunty yarns including ‘Mr Fruitbat’s Magic Mints’, the ‘Brian’ trilogy (‘Brian the Witch and the Wardrobe’, ‘Brian and the Snot Dribbling Monster’, ‘Brian and the Well of Lost Stools’), ‘Being Bob’, the ‘Jamie and Dimwell’ series, and the ‘Fish-Lips Nightmares’ (work in progress). My biro has also been known to scribble some dark, menacing adult tales like ‘Spiral Time’, ‘Messin’ Around’, ‘Cowhead’ and 'Bar Humbug' (another work in progress).

I have participated in writers courses on both sides of the globe, have had reviews published on ourbrisbane.com and while attending a recent writers’ workshop Lloyd Jones, the award winning New Zealand author, gave ‘Mr Fruitbat’s Magic Mints’ great praise, saying the visual imagery of the words were original and breathtaking.

Throughout my life I have lived, loved, laughed and lost in relatively equal measure. I now do my living, loving and laughing in Brisbane, Australia with my partner and our two time-consuming monsters.

favourite books

'Spares' & 'Only Forward' by Michael Marshall Smith
'Quite Ugly One Morning' by Christopher Brookmyre
'To Kill A Mockingbird' by Harper Lee
"The Van" by Roddy Doyle
'Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams
'The Curious Incident of the Dead Dog in the Night-Time' by Mark Haddon

my websites

    

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my books

Bar Humbug

Mark Thorp

Contrary to popular conception, the life of a barman isn’t all fast cars, sexy girls, jetting to LA for breakfast or lunching on the OrientExpress.


Welcome to Bar Humbug.
Feel the pain as the owner's struck down in the opening scene.
Share the love, sense the humour and smell the sewers as we follow, live and loathe the dream.
The dream transports us through the embryonic stages when Humbug is a joke. The setting up phase as staff are picked, bar is built and stocked.
Experience the euphoria as the doors are flung wide and the public trickle in.
Be touched by the emotion when the owner's little bast... darlings wake him at 6am.

Bar Humbug, it has to be said, is the most miserable bar on the planet. It is forged out of the malignant hatred of customers that we all (come on, be honest) nurture. Humbug prefers a darkened, dirty room over the shining chrome and neon norm, the unwanted customer can have eardrums teased by delights ranging from Smiths to Pavement, Pixies to Eels, Simone to Franklin while enjoying some of the greatest beer known to man.

Sit back and enjoy Vince Vulgar and the Virgin Vampires, Jimmy Cinders and the Heat Seekers, Bill is Ill, and all the fine acts that strut the Humbug stage.

 

Mr Fruitbat’s Magic Mints

Mark Thorp

Come inside, meet the Kakaah bird, the rare and highly dangerous Hairy Oakra, the Dream Monkeys and the dude at the Jungle Falls Service Station.


Mr Fruitbat’s Magic Mints is a tale of adventure aimed at the 9+ market and counts in at around 48,500 words. The story centres on a girl named Misty, her globe spanning journey, her globe shaped cousins, her learning to fly and her slurping milkshakes. She meets the straight and the strange, the large and the small, the bald and the bogeyman as she delights in Fruitbat’s soft, syrupy world. It is silly, sad, funny and frightening in reasonably equal measure.

Tagged on the end is the screenplay version I'm currently working on

 

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latest

Casimir Greenfield wrote 384 days ago

Cas Greenfield: writer, broadcaster, musician, artist. Hi there - ....

Sharda D wrote 402 days ago

Loving the pitch! I read loads (including 3/5 of your fave reads) so....

Marita A. Hansen wrote 412 days ago

Hi, Mark. With the new month comes changes in shelves, so I'm messagi....

patio wrote 419 days ago

I write with greetings and invitation to read a chapter or more of my....

Andrew Hughes wrote 434 days ago

Hi Mark, “Informers and blackmailers, phrenologists and dissection....

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my comments

latest

I wrote 487 days ago

Thanks for your lovely words, Emily. I used the words carefully, knowing they were too hard for the chosen age. My thoughts were that if the kids don't know the words they can research them. But all the feedback I've had over the past year or two has beeen the same. I've recently finished The Man... view book

I wrote 507 days ago

Thank you, Candy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. view book

I wrote 1136 days ago

I'm going to read this simply because I love the Carter song (24 minutes from Tulse Hill). view book

I wrote 1140 days ago

Pretty sure I've backed you once before. Good luck. Great read. view book

I wrote 1160 days ago

I'm looking forward to reading this. view book

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